Umbala weemvakalelo: Ukuqonda ii-Narcissistic Manipulators kunye neziphumo zabo kwabasetyhini

Ii-manipulators ze-Narcissistic zihlala zibonwa njengabantu abangenamvakalelo, bekhohlisa abo babangqongileyo ngokubanda okubalwayo. Nangona kunjalo, le mbono isekude ukuba igqitywe. Aba bantu baziva beneemvakalelo, kodwa bahlala bekhetha ukuzicinezela okanye ukuzivakalisa ngeendlela ezitshabalalisayo. Kweli nqaku, siza kuphonononga “umbala weemvakalelo” kwii-manipulators ze-narcissistic kunye nendlela ezi mvakalelo ezichaphazela ngayo amaxhoba abo.

Yintoni umbala weemvakalelo?

“Umbala weemvakalelo” ngokuqhelekileyo yindlela efuziselayo yokunxulumanisa imibala neemeko ezahlukeneyo zeemvakalelo. Le ngcamango isoloko isetyenziswa kwi-psychology ukunceda ukubona nokuqonda iimvakalelo. Nalu unxulumano oluqhelekileyo:

• Red: ihlala inxulunyaniswe nomsindo, inkanuko, okanye uthando olunzulu.
• Blue: inokumela usizi okanye ukuzola
• Yellow: ihlala inxulunyaniswa novuyo okanye ithemba
• Green: inokufuzisela umona okanye ithemba
• Black: ihlala isetyenziselwa ukubonisa ukudakumba okanye uloyiko.
• Rose: inokuvuselela uthando okanye ububele
• Orange: ngamanye amaxesha inxulunyaniswa nomdla okanye uchulumanco
• Violet: inokumela ubuchule okanye ubumoya

Ukuqonda iiMvakalelo zeNarcissistic Manipulators

Njengabafazi abahluphekayo kwi ubudlelwane obuyityhefu, ii-manipulators ze-narcissistic nazo zivakalelwa iimvakalelo ezahlukeneyo.

1. I-facade yokungakhathali

Kulula ukucinga ukuba ama-manipulative narcissists abaziva iimvakalelo. Basenokubonakala bezimele, bengenamdla, okanye bengenaluvelwano ngokubandezeleka abakubangelayo. Nangona kunjalo, oku kungakhathali yi-facade kuphela. Ama-Narcissists aziva uluhlu olupheleleyo lweemvakalelo, kodwa akhethe ukungazibonakalisi ngeendlela eziqhelekileyo, ekhetha ukuzingcwaba okanye ukuzifihla.

2. Ukoyika ukuba sesichengeni

Kwi-a i-narcissistic manipulator esengozini, iimvakalelo zibonwa njengobuthathaka. Ukubonakalisa iimvakalelo ezinjengosizi, uloyiko okanye ukuziva benetyala kubonakala kungenakucingelwa kubo, kuba oko kuya kubenza babe sesichengeni emehlweni abanye. Olu loyiko lokuba sesichengeni lubangela ukuba bacinezele ezi mvakalelo, benze umhlaba ochumileyo wokuziphatha okutshabalalisayo.

Le ngcinezelo yeemvakalelo ineziphumo ezithe ngqo kumaxhoba. Inene, iinarcissists zihlala zisebenzisa uqikelelo ukuze zizikhusele ekungakhuseleki kwazo.

3. Ukubonakalisa umsindo

Umsindo ngowona mvakalelo uphambili phakathi kwabenzi bobuqhetseba be-narcissistic. Ngokungafaniyo nezinye iimvakalelo, umsindo ubonwa njengomthombo wamandla, indlela yokunyanzelisa ukuthanda kwabo kunye nokulawula abo babangqongileyo. Yimvakalelo ekulula ukuyivakalisa nedla ngokusetyenziswa ukulawula abanye. Ingqumbo ikwavumela i-narcissist ukuba iphazamise ukungazithembi kwabo ngokuveza umfanekiso wamandla.

Iimpembelelo kumaxhoba amabhinqa e-narcissistic manipulator

Iimpembelelo kubasetyhini abangamaxhoba e-narcissistic manipulator zinzulu kwaye ziyahluka.

1. Umjikelo wokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo

Abasetyhini abangamaxhoba e-narcissistic manipulator bavame ukuvalelwa kwi- umjikelo wokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo. Lo mjikelo uqala ngesigaba sokulukuhla apho i-narcissist ibonisa icala lakhe elinomtsalane. Nje ukuba ixhoba liphantsi kwempembelelo yakhe, i-narcissist iqala ukubonakalisa umsindo kunye nendelelo, idala i-spiral yokulawula kunye nokulawula. Lo mjikelo unaphakade kancinane utshabalalisa iubuwena yexhoba.

Lo mjikelo unokwahlulwa ngokwezigaba ezininzi:

• I-Isigaba seduction: I-narcissist inomdla, inomdla, kwaye yenza yonke into ukuhenda ixhoba layo. Esi sigaba sinokuhlala iiveki okanye iinyanga ezininzi, ukudala ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo kwixhoba.
• I-Devaluation phase: Nje ukuba ixhoba liphantsi kolawulo, i-narcissist iqala ukubagxeka, ukunciphisa impumelelo yabo kwaye ibonise ubuthathaka babo, obuthi ngokuthe ngcembe bususe ukuzithemba kwabo.
• Rejection phase: Kwezinye iimeko, i-narcissist inokuhamba ukuya kuthi ga ukugatya ngokupheleleyo ixhoba, ibashiye benxunguphele kwaye begcwele amathandabuzo malunga nexabiso labo.
• Reconciliation phase: Ukugcina ukubamba kwabo, i-narcissist inokubuyela kwixhoba kunye nokuxolisa okanye izithembiso zokutshintsha, ngaloo ndlela ivuselela umjikelo.

2. Iziphumo zengqondo

Ukuhlala kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator ingaba nayo iziphumo ezinzulu ngokwasengqondweni. Abasetyhini banokukhula ukuxhalaba, ukudakumba kunye nokuphelelwa ukuzithemba. Ukulawulwa rhoqo kunye nokungazinzi ngokweemvakalelo kwenza kube nzima kwixhoba ukuyibona into eyinyani, oko kuzifaka kwimeko yokubhideka namathandabuzo.

Ukongeza kwezi ziphazamiso, amaxhoba asenokuba nawo Uxinzelelo lwasemva koxinzelelo (PTSD), ngakumbi ukuba baye bachanabeka kwiimeko zokuthukwa okanye zogonyamelo. Iinkumbulo zezi ziqendu zinokuvela ngokungalindelekanga, zibangele ukuhlaselwa kwexhala okanye ukuphuthelwa. Ukongeza, ukubekwa wedwa kwezentlalo okuhlala kunyanzeliswa yi-narcissist kunokuzenza mandundu ezi mpawu, zenze ukuba kube nzima ngakumbi ukuchacha.

3. Ukuphulukana nesiqu sakho

Ulawulo lweemvakalelo olusetyenziswa yi-narcissistic manipulator luhlala lukhokelela ukulahlekelwa nguwe kwixhoba. Umfazi, xa sele ezithembile kwaye ezimeleyo, unokuzifumana ethandabuza ukufaneleka kwakhe, elahlekelwa ngumbono weminqweno yakhe kunye nezinto anomdla kuzo. Le lahleko yesazisi yenye yeziphumo ezibi kakhulu zokuxhatshazwa kwe-narcissistic.

Oku kuzikhwebula kunokubangela ukuba ixhoba lifuduke kubahlobo, kusapho, kwanamabhongo obuqu. Ekuhambeni kwexesha, unokuphulukana nayo yonke imvakalelo yokuba ungubani na ngaphandle kobudlelwane obuxhaphazayo.

Indlela yokubuyisela ulawulo?

Ukufumana kwakhona ulawulo emva kokuphathwa kakubi okanye impatho-gadalala yinkqubo ebalulekileyo nentsonkothileyo.

1. Qaphela imiqondiso

Inyathelo lokuqala lokuzikhulula kwimpembelelo ye-narcissistic manipulator ku yiqonde imiqondiso ukukhohlisa. Oku kubandakanya ukuqonda indlela i-narcissist esebenzisa ngayo umsindo ukulawula kunye nokubeka ixhoba labo. Ukuqonda ukuba iimvakalelo zomntu aziyiyo imbonakalo yokwenyani, kodwa kukubonisa ukungakhuseleki kwe-narcissist, kubalulekile ekuqaliseni ukwahlukana ngokweemvakalelo.

Nazi ezinye iimpawu onokuzijonga:

• Constant Criticism: I-narcissist isoloko igxeka ixhoba ngeendlela ezitshabalalisayo, ibeka phantsi impumelelo yabo kwaye igxininisa ukusilela kwabo.
• Ukwahlukaniswa koluntu: I-narcissist ifuna ukuhlukanisa ixhoba kwabo basondeleyo kubo ukomeleza ulawulo lwakhe.
• Emotional Manipulation: Isebenzisa ubutyala, uloyiko kunye nothando ukulawula iimvakalelo zexhoba.
• I-UUkuziphatha okungalindelekanga: Ukuvutha komsindo ngaphandle kwesizathu esicacileyo kuyinto eqhelekileyo, ukugcina ixhoba kwimeko yoxinzelelo rhoqo.

2. Yakha kwakhona ukuzithemba kwakho

Emva kokuqaphela uxhatshazo, kubalulekile ukuba sebenzela ukwakha kwakhona ukuzithemba kwakho. Oku kunokuquka inkxaso yengqondo, ukubuyela kwimisebenzi ezisa uvuyo nolwaneliseko, kunye nokungqongwa ngabantu abalungileyo abomeleza imvakalelo yokuxabiseka komntu.

Amanye amanyathelo okwakha kwakhona ukuzithemba kwakho:

• Therapy: Ukubonisana nonyango olukhethekileyo kunokuncedisa ukusombulula imiphumo yokuxhatshazwa kunye nokwakha kwakhona umfanekiso omhle wokuzibona.
• Imisebenzi yoBuchule: Ukuphinda uqhagamshelene nezinto ezizithandayo zokudala okanye izinto ozonwabisa ngazo kunokunceda ukubuyisela imvakalelo yokufezekiswa komntu.
• Uthungelwano lwenkxaso: Zijikeleze nabantu abanenkathalo abayiqondayo imeko kwaye banike inkxaso yeemvakalelo ngaphandle kokugweba.
• Ukuzinyamekela: Ukwamkela iindlela zokuzinyamekela, ezifana nokucamngca, ukuzivocavoca, okanye ukuphumla, kunokunceda ukubuyisela ukulinganisela kwengqondo.

Umbala weemvakalelo: Ukusuka kwintlungu ukuya kwinkululeko

Umbala weemvakalelo usivumela ukuba siqonde ngcono amava angaphakathi, ukusuka kwiintlungu ezinzulu ukuya ekukhululweni. Nanga amanye amacebiso okukunceda:

1. Qonda uluhlu lweemvakalelo

Iimvakalelo ezifunyanwa ngabasetyhini abangamaxhoba e-narcissistic manipulators zahlukahlukene kwaye zintsonkothile. Ukusuka kwintlungu ukuya kumsindo, uloyiko kunye nesiqabu, uvakalelo ngalunye lunendawo yalo kwinkqubo yokuphilisa. Ukuqonda nokwamkela ezi mvakalelo linyathelo elibalulekileyo elisingise enkululekweni.

THE ulwimi lweemvakalelo ingabonwa njenge imibala kwiphalethi. Zonke iimvakalelo, nangona zinokubonakala zingalunganga ekuqaleni, zinokuguqulwa zibe sisixhobo sokukhula komntu. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba buhlungu kunokukhokelela ekuzijongeni ngendlela eyingenelo, ngoxa umsindo unokubangela utshintsho nokuziqinisekisa.

2. Sebenzisa iimvakalelo njengenjini ephilisayo

Iimvakalelo, nangona zibuhlungu, zinokuba yi-a injini enamandla yokuphilisa. Ngokomzekelo, umsindo unokuguqulwa ube ngamandla okwakha ukumisela imida ecacileyo nokwala ukunyamezela ukuziphatha kakubi. Usizi lunokuvula umnyango wokuzihlolisisa ngokunzulu nokuziqonda ngakumbi.

3. Kubomi obanelisayo

Ukuzikhulula kulawulo lwe-narcissistic manipulator ayingomsebenzi olula, kodwa linyathelo elibalulekileyo eliya ubomi obufezekileyo nobuzimeleyo. Ngokufunda ukuqaphela nokusebenzisa umbala weemvakalelo zakhe, ibhinqa linokufumana amandla angaphakathi, liqinisekise ubuni bakhe kwaye lidale ubomi obuzaliswe luvuyo noxolo.

Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba ukuphilisa a inkqubo eqhubekayo. Kuthatha ixesha, umonde, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha, ukuphinda kubuyele.

Ireferensi yebhayibhilografi “ngombala weemvakalelo”

Nazi iimbekiselo ezisixhenxe zebhayibhili kumxholo othi “umbala weemvakalelo”:

1. Brouillet, D. (2015). Les couleurs de l’émotion : Éléments pour une théorie de la synesthésie émotionnelle. Paris : Éditions L’Harmattan.
2. Lemoine, P. (2018). Psychologie des couleurs : Les émotions et la couleur dans la perception humaine. Lyon : Presses Universitaires de Lyon.
3. Leroy, F. (2012). Couleurs et émotions : une approche psychologique. Toulouse : Éditions Érès.
4. Gueguen, N. & Jacob, C. (2014). Les effets des couleurs sur les émotions et le comportement : Une revue de littérature. Revue Européenne de Psychologie Appliquée, 64(2), 93-100.
5. Faucher, J. & Neveu, M. (2017). Émotions et perception des couleurs : Une étude expérimentale. Psychologie & Sciences, 24(3), 215-228.
6. Maffesoli, M. (2011). Le temps des tribus : Le déclin de l’individualisme dans les sociétés de masse. Paris : La Table Ronde. (Bien que ce livre soit plus général, il aborde la symbolique des couleurs dans les relations humaines).
7. Roussel, S. (2019). Couleurs et émotions : Une approche interculturelle. Paris : Éditions de la Maison des Sciences de l’Homme.

Ezi zimbekiselo ziphonononga ubudlelwane phakathi kwemibala kunye neemvakalelo ngee-engile ezahlukeneyo, ngakumbi ngokwasengqondweni nakwinkcubeko.

Ukuqukumbela

Abenzi be-Narcissistic manipulators ziingcali zokulawula iimvakalelo, zabo kunye nezabanye. Kubafazi abangamaxhoba, ukuqonda “umbala weemvakalelo” kubalulekile ukubaleka umjikelo wokuxhatshazwa kunye nokuzakha kwakhona. Ngokuqaphela iindlela zeemvakalelo ezidlalwayo kunye nokufuna inkxaso efunekayo, kunokwenzeka ukuguqula le ntlungu ibe namandla, kwaye ufumane kwakhona ubomi obucebileyo kumbala kunye nenkululeko.