Ukusinda kuMama onetyhefu: Isikhokelo samaxhoba aBazali beNarcissistic

Ubudlelwane phakathi komzali nomntwana benzelwe ukuba bube ngumthombo wothando, inkxaso kunye nozinzo. Ngelishwa, ukukhula kunye nomama onetyhefu okanye i-narcissistic kunokuba nemiphumo ebuhlungu yexesha elide. Eli nqaku liphonononga imiceli mngeni ekhethekileyo abajongene nayo ngabantwana boomama abane-narcissistic kwaye inika izicwangciso zokuphilisa kunye nokuqhubela phambili.

Iimpawu ezixelayo zomama othanda i-narcissistic

Narcissistic oomama bahlala bebonisa ezi mpawu zilandelayo:

• Isidingo esiqhubekayo sokuhoywa kunye nokuncoma
• Ukungabi naluvelwano kwiimfuno zabantwana babo ngokweemvakalelo
• Ulindelo olungekho ngqiqweni kunye noxinzelelo olugqithisileyo kubantwana babo
• Ukuziphatha okukhohlisayo kunye nokulawula
• Utyekelo lokugxeka nokuthoba isidima sabantwana babo
• Ukungakwazi ukuvuma iimpazamo okanye ukucela uxolo
• Umona wempumelelo yabantwana babo

Ukuba uyayibona le miqondiso kumama wakho, kusenokwenzeka ukuba ukhulele kwindawo enetyhefu.

Impembelelo engapheliyo yobuntwana kunye nomama onetyhefu

Ukukhula nomama we-narcissistic kunokuba neziphumo ezininzi ezimbi njengomntu omdala:

• ukungazithembi kunye ne-ukuphelelwa ukuzithemba
• Ubunzima bokuseka imida enempilo kubudlelwane
• Utyekelo lokulindela imfezeko nokuzigxeka ngokugqithiseleyo
• Iingxaki nge-anxiety, ukudakumba, okanye ukulawulwa ngokweemvakalelo
• Umngcipheko okhulayo wokulutha (utywala, iziyobisi, ukutya, njl.)
• Ubunzima bokuthemba abanye
• Ukuziva ungento yanto okanye ukungabikho ngokweemvakalelo

Abantwana abaninzi boomama abanetyhefu batsala nzima nale miphumo yeemvakalelo kubo bonke ubomi babo.

Ikhonkco phakathi komama onetyhefu kunye nokuxhatshazwa kwe-narcissistic

Unxibelelwano phakathi komama onetyhefu kunye nokuxhatshazwa kwe-narcissistic kuhlala kusondele kwaye kunzima. Umama onetyhefu obonisa iimpawu ze-narcissistic unokubangela umonakalo onzulu weemvakalelo kubantwana bakhe ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo zokuziphatha kakubi:

• Ukulawulwa ngokweemvakalelo: Umama usebenzisa ukuziva enetyala, iintloni okanye uloyiko ukulawula umntwana wakhe.
• Ukungabi naluvelwano: Akakwazi ukuqonda okanye ukuqinisekisa iimvakalelo zomntwana wakhe.
• Iimfuno ezingekho ngqiqweni: Ibeka ulindelo olugqithisileyo, idala imvakalelo eqhubekayo yokungaphumeleli emntwaneni.
• Unxantathu: Idibanisa amalungu osapho omnye komnye ukugcina ulawulo.
• gaslighting: Kuyayikhanyela inyaniso efunyanwa ngumntwana, imenza athandabuze iimbono zakhe.
• Ukunganyaniseki rhoqo: Ujongela phantsi ngempumelelo impumelelo kunye neemvakalelo zomntwana.

Ezi ndlela zokuziphatha ziyityhefu ziyafana nokusetyenziswa kakubi kwe-narcissistic, okuphawulwa ngesidingo esigqithisileyo sokunconywa, ukungabi naluvelwano kunye notyekelo lokuxhaphaza. Umntwana ke uba ngumdlali we-narcissistic kanina, ekhonza ukuzalisekisa iimfuno zakhe zeemvakalelo kumonakalo wokukhula kwakhe.

Ukuseka imida enempilo kunye noMama onetyhefu

Ukugcina ulwalamano nomama onetyhefu njengomntu omdala kunokuba lucelomngeni lokwenene. Nazi ezinye izicwangciso-qhinga zokumisela imida esempilweni:

• Cacisa ngokucacileyo into eyamkelekileyo nengamkelekanga kunxibelelwano lwakho
• Funda ukuthi hayi ngaphandle kokuziva unetyala
• Nciphisa amaza kunye nobude boqhagamshelwano ukuba kuyimfuneko
• Musa ukwabelana ngolwazi lwakho lomntu siqu anokuthi alusebenzise ngokuchasene nawe
• Zilungiselele ngokweemvakalelo phambi kwayo yonke intsebenziswano
• Yiba nesicwangciso somsebenzi kwimeko yokuziphatha kakubi

Khumbula ukuba unelungelo lokuzikhusela, nokuba oko kuthetha ukuba uzibekele kude kumama wakho.

Ukufumana iNkxaso: Ukubaluleka koBudlelwane obuphilileyo

Ukuchacha kubudlelwane obuyityhefu nomama wakho akunyanzelekanga ukuba kwenziwe wedwa. Nantsi indawo yokufumana inkxaso:

• Unyango lomntu okanye iqela
• Amaqela eNkxaso kuBantwana abaDala baBazali beNarcissistic
• Abahlobo abasondeleyo kunye nokuqonda usapho olwandisiweyo
• Uluntu olukwi-Intanethi olunikezelwe kwesi sihloko
• Iincwadi kunye nezibonelelo kwiNarcissism yaBazali

Zijikeleze nabantu abaqinisekisa amava akho kwaye bakuxhase ekuphiliseni kwakho.

Ukubuyisela kwakhona uMhla woMama: Ukuzinyamekela

Usuku loMama lunokuba nzima ngakumbi kubantwana boomama abanetyhefu. Nantsi indlela yokuphumelela ngolu suku:

• Yazi ukuba iimvakalelo zakho ezixubeneyo ziqhelekileyo kwaye ziyasebenza
• Yenza amasiko akho ahlonipha uhambo lwakho lobuqu
• Zingqonge abantu abakuqondayo nabakuxhasayo
• Nciphisa ukuvezwa kwakho kwimidiya yoluntu ngaloo mini ukuba kuyimfuneko
• Zenzele into enobubele
• Ukuba ungumzali, nikela ingqalelo kulwalamano lwakho nabantwana bakho

Khumbula ukuba akukho ndlela “elungileyo” yokufumana amava ngalo mhla – yenza okona kukulungeleyo.

Ukusingise kwikamva elizolileyo ngakumbi: Ukuzikhulula kwixesha elidlulileyo

Nangona amanxeba obuntwaneni okanye i-inxeba lokuzala i- kunye nomama we-narcissistic angabonakala engenakucimeka, kunokwenzeka ukuba ukhululeke kuwo kwaye wakhe ubomi obanelisayo. Nanga amanyathelo okugqibela:

• Yamkela ukuba mhlawumbi awuzukwazi ukumtshintsha umama wakho
• Gxininisa ekukhuleni kwakho kunye nokuphila kakuhle
• Hlakulela ubudlelwane obunempilo kunye nomvuzo
• Landela iminqweno yakho kunye neenjongo zakho zobuqu
• Ziqhelanise nombulelo ngeenkalo ezintle zobomi bakho
• Qhubeka usebenza kuwe, kodwa ube nomonde kwinkqubo

Ngexesha, ukuzisebenzela, kunye nenkxaso, unokuloyisa ilifa likamama onetyhefu kwaye udale ubomi obonwabisayo nobunelisayo obufaneleyo.

I-Bibliographic reference yokusinda kumama onetyhefu

Nazi iimbekiselo ezisixhenxe zebhayibhili kumxholo othi “Ukusinda Kumama Oyityhefu”:

1. Lévy, S. (2015). Mères toxiques : comment s’en libérer. Éditions de l’Archipel.
2. Klein, M. (2012). La maternité toxique : comprendre et sortir du cycle de la souffrance. Éditions Albin Michel.
3. Drouet, F. (2018). Sortir du silence : les enfants de mères toxiques. Éditions Leduc.
4. Fischer, G. (2020). Les relations familiales : quand la mère devient toxique. Revue de psychologie familiale, 45(3), 234-245.
5. Marty, M. (2017). Le lien maternel : entre amour et toxicité. Psychologie et Sociologie, 29(1), 85-99.
6. Vasquez, C. (2019). Guérir de l’emprise maternelle : outils et thérapies. Éditions Dunod.
7. Vigouroux, A. (2021). La dynamique familiale et ses effets : le rôle de la mère toxique. Psychologie Clinique, 42(2), 112-130.

Ezi zikhombisi kufuneka zikunike isiseko esiluqilima sokuphonononga isihloko.

Ukuqukumbela

Ukuqukumbela, ukukhula kunye nomama we-narcissistic kushiya amanxeba anzulu, kodwa ukuphilisa kunokwenzeka. Ngokuqonda impembelelo yolu budlelwane, ukuseka imida enempilo, ukusebenza kuwe kunye nokuzijikeleza ngenkxaso, unokuzikhulula kwixesha elidlulileyo kwaye wakhe ikusasa elinokuthula. Khumbula ukuba ufanelwe uthando, intlonipho kunye nolonwabo, kungakhathaliseki ukuba ulwalamano onalo nomama wakho. Uhambo lwakho lokuphilisa lunokuba nzima, kodwa lufanelekile.