Ukurhoxa ngokweemvakalelo kwabazali luhlobo oluthile lokungakhathalelwa ngokweemvakalelo olunokuba nemiphumo enzulu ekukhuleni komntwana. Nangona isoloko ingabonakali, olu hlobo lokuxhatshazwa lushiya amanxeba ahlala ehleli. Makhe sihlolisise le nto kunye nemiphumo yayo.
Yintoni ukurhoxa ngokweemvakalelo kwabazali?
Ukurhoxa ngokweemvakalelo zabazali kubonakaliswa kukungakwazi okanye ukwala kwabazali ukuhlangabezana ngokwaneleyo neemfuno zeemvakalelo zomntwana wabo. Inokuzibonakalisa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo:
- Ukunqongophala kokuzibandakanya ngokweemvakalelo
- Ukungabikho kobubele kunye nothando
- Ukungakhathali kwimpumelelo okanye ubunzima bomntwana
- Ukungakwazi ukunika intuthuzelo okanye inkxaso yeemvakalelo
Oku kuziphatha kunokubangelwa yimiba eyahlukahlukeneyo, njengokudandatheka kwabazali, ukwenzakala okungasonjululwanga, okanye ukunqongophala kwezakhono zobuzali.
Want to break free from this hold?
Oyena nobangela wokurhoxa ngokweemvakalelo
Makhe sijonge ezona zizathu ziphambili ezinokukhokelela ekubeni abazali barhoxe ngokweemvakalelo:
- Intergenerational transmission of trauma
Ngokufuthi, abazali abaqhelisela ukukhululeka ngokweemvakalelo nabo babengamaxhoba okutyeshelwa ngokweemvakalelo ebudeni bobuntwana babo. Bengazi nayiphi na enye imodeli, ngokungazi bavelisa ezi pateni kunye nabantwana babo.
- Ubunzima bomntu wabazali
Abazali abanengxaki yempilo yengqondo, ukusebenzisa kakubi iziyobisi, okanye uxinzelelo olungapheliyo banokuzabalaza ukuba bafumaneke ngokweemvakalelo kubantwana babo. Ukubandezeleka kwabo kuyabathintela ekuhlangabezaneni neentswelo ezingokweemvakalelo zenzala yabo.
Iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokurhoxa ngokweemvakalelo zabazali
- Punitive cwaka:
- Umzali uyeka lonke unxibelelwano nomntwana ixesha elide.
- Umntwana uzifumana ekwisithukuthezi ngokweemvakalelo, engaqinisekanga ngendlela yokuluseka kwakhona unxibelelwano.
- Emotional coldnessle:
- Umzali uhlala ekhona ngokwasenyameni kodwa uye angafikeleleki ngokweemvakalelo.
- Intsebenziswano iba ngoomatshini, ingabi nakufudumala okanye uthando.
- Ukurhoxiswa kothando lomzimba:
- Hugs, i-caresses, okanye ezinye iindlela zonxibelelwano olunothando zisuswa ngokukhawuleza.
- Umntwana ufunda ukuba uthando luxhomekeke kwindlela aziphatha ngayo.
- Qiniso lokungakhathali:
- Umzali wenza ngokungathi umntwana akakho okanye ngathi umntwana akabonakali.
- Olu hlobo lokurhoxa lunokuba yingozi ngakumbi kukuzithemba komntwana.
- Uthelekiso olungathandekiyo:
- Umzali ubonisa uthando ngokuphandle kwabanye abantwana (abantakwe, oodade, nabazala) ngelixa engahoyi umntwana “okhubekisayo”.
- Oku kudala imvakalelo yokungafaneleki kunye nokhuphiswano olungenampilo.
Impembelelo embi ekukhuleni komntwana
Ukuhoxiswa ngokweemvakalelo kunokuchaphazela umntwana ngeendlela ezininzi. Nazi iindawo eziphambili ezichaphazelekayo:
- Attachment disorders
Ukurhoxa ngokweemvakalelo zabazali kunokukhokelela kukuphazamiseka kokuncamathela ebantwaneni. Oku kunokuphuhlisa ukungakhuseleki ngokweemvakalelo, ubunzima bokuthemba abanye kunye nokwenza ubudlelwane obunempilo.
- Ukungazithembi
Ukungabikho kokuqinisekiswa ngokweemvakalelo kunokuchaphazela ngokunzulu ukuzithemba komntwana. Bengaziva bethandwa okanye bexatyiswa, banokuba neemvakalelo ezinzulu zokungafaneleki nokungaxabiseki.
- Ubunzima bexesha elide beemvakalelo
Abantwana abafumana ukurhoxa ngokweemvakalelo banokuba nobunzima bokuchonga nokuvakalisa iimvakalelo zabo njengabantu abadala. Basemngciphekweni wokuba nexhala, ukudakumba okanye iingxaki zokulawula uxinzelelo.
- Ukufuna ngokuqhubekayo ukwamkelwa:
Umntwana uba bukhali kakhulu kwindlela abasabela ngayo abanye. Unokuhlakulela ukuziphatha “ekholisa abantu“ukuphepha nayiphi na ingozi yokwaliwa.
- Ukuzibeka ityala:
Umntwana ingena ngaphakathi ingcamango yokuba ukurhoxa ngokweemvakalelo kusoloko kulityala lakhe. Usenokutyekela ekuzibek’ ityala ngokugqithiseleyo ngeengxaki zolwalamano.
Iimpawu ezibonisa ukurhoxa ngokweemvakalelo zabazali
Kubalulekile ukuqonda iimpawu zokurhoxa ngokweemvakalelo zabazali ukuze ungenelele. Nazi ezinye izalathisi:
- Ukungabikho kwemiboniso yenyama yothando (ukwanga, ukuphululwa)
- Ukungabi namdla kwizinto ezenziwa ngumntwana okanye izinto ezixhalabisayo
- Unxibelelwano olulinganiselweyo okanye olungaphezulu kunye nomntwana
- Ukungakwazi ukunika intuthuzelo xa ucinezelekile
- Utyekelo lokunciphisa okanye ukungazinanzi iimvakalelo zomntwana
Iziphumo ebudaleni
- Ukoyika ukusondelelana:
- Abadala banokuba nobunzima bokuzibophelela ngokupheleleyo kubudlelwane obusondeleyo ngenxa yokoyika ukulahlwa.
- Usenokugcina umgama omde ngokweemvakalelo njengendlela yokuzikhusela.
- Ukuncamathela okunexhala :
- Aukuqaphela okukhulukwiimpawu zokulahlwa okanye zokulahlwa kubudlelwane.
- Utyekelo lokutolika ngokugqithisileyo izimilo zabanye njengemiqondiso yokungamkelwa.
- Ubunzima bokuseka imida esempilweni:
- Ngoloyiko lokubangela ukurhoxa ngokweemvakalelo, abantu abadala banokuba nobunzima bokuthi hayi okanye ukuvakalisa iimfuno zabo.
- Qelela kwimbuyekezo egqithisileyo:
- Imigudu egqithisileyo yokukholisa nokugcina ubudlelwane, ngokufuthi oko kuyonakalisa iimfuno zomntu.
- Ubunzima bokulawula iingxabano:
- Ukungavumelani kunokubonwa njengezoyikiso kubudlelwane, okukhokelela ekuthinteleni ungquzulwano okanye ukuxhalaba okugqithisileyo.
- Dysfunctional Relationship Cycles:
- UUmtsalane ongazi nto kumaqabane angafumanekiyo ngokweemvakalelo, ukuvelisa kwakhona ipateni yabazali.
Ikhonkco phakathi kokurhoxa ngokweemvakalelo kwabazali kunye nokuxhatshazwa kwenarcissistic
Ukurhoxa ngokwasemoyeni kwabazali kunye nokuphathwa gadalala kwenarcissistic zizinto ezimbini ezisondeleleneyo ngokwasengqondweni ezinokuba neziphumo ezibi ekukhuleni komntwana ngokweemvakalelo.
Ukurhoxa ngokweemvakalelo zabazali kubonakaliswa kukungabikho kokuzibandakanya ngokweemvakalelo, uvelwano kunye nenkxaso evela kubazali ngakumntwana wabo. Abazali abangekho ngokweemvakalelo okanye abakude ngokweemvakalelo abaphenduli ngokwaneleyo kwiimfuno zomntwana ezingokweemvakalelo, bedala isithuba esingokweemvakalelo.
Oku kusilela ngokweemvakalelo kudala umhlaba wokuzala wophuhliso lokuziphatha kwe-narcissistic ebantwaneni. Enyanisweni, ukuvinjwa ukuqinisekiswa kunye nengqalelo yomzali ayifunayo, umntwana unokuphuhlisa iindlela zembuyekezo ngokusekelwe kuphando olugqithisileyo lokuncoma kunye nokuqatshelwa kwangaphandle.
Njengabantu abadala, ezi patheni zobudlelwane zingasebenziyo zinokubonakala njengokuxhatshazwa kwe-narcissistic. Umntu onengxaki yokurhoxa ngokweemvakalelo ebuntwaneni unokuphinda ezi ziphatha nabantwana bakhe okanye amaqabane, ngaloo ndlela eqhubeleka umjikelo.
Iimpawu zokuxhatshazwa kwe-narcissistic – ukulawulwa ngokweemvakalelo, ukungabi naluvelwano, imfuneko egqithisileyo yokunconywa – zihlala zinemvelaphi yazo kukusilela ngokweemvakalelo ebuntwaneni. Umxhaphazi we-narcissistic ufuna ukugcwalisa ubuze bakhe bangaphakathi ngokusebenzisa ulawulo lweemvakalelo kwabanye.
Ukuqonda eli khonkco kusivumela ukuba siziqonde ngcono iingcambu ezinzulu zoxhatshazo lwe-narcissistic kwaye siqaqambise ukubaluleka okubalulekileyo kokuzibandakanya kwabazali ngokweemvakalelo kuphuhliso lwengqondo olusempilweni lomntwana.
I-Bibliographic reference malunga nokurhoxa ngokweemvakalelo zabazali
Nazi iimbekiselo ezisixhenxe zebhayibhili kumxholo wokurhoxa ngokweemvakalelo zabazali:
- Lévy, J. (2005). Le retrait affectif : un défi pour la parentalité. Paris : Éditions L’Harmattan.
- Vermot, M. (2010). Les effets du retrait affectif parental sur l’estime de soi des adolescents. Thèse de doctorat, Université de Genève.
- Gonzalez, C., & Dubois, M. (2013). Le retrait affectif dans les relations familiales : une étude longitudinale. Revue francophone de psychologie, 28(4), 321-335.
- Roussel, P. (2016). Parents à distance : le retrait affectif et ses conséquences sur l’enfant. Journal de la famille et de la santé, 15(2), 145-162.
- Bourdieu, P. (2000). La transmission de la souffrance : le retrait affectif et ses effets sur les générations futures. Paris : Éditions du Seuil.
- Chevalier, J. (2018). Les enfants du retrait affectif : approches psychologiques et sociologiques. L’Encéphale, 44(5), 407-415.
- Lemoine, F. (2021). Retrait affectif et développement émotionnel : perspectives théoriques et pratiques. Psychologie et société, 29(1), 88-105.
Ezi mbekiselo kufuneka zikunike isiseko esiluqilima sokuphonononga isihloko sokurhoxa ngokweemvakalelo zabazali.
Ukuqukumbela
Ukurhoxa ngokweemvakalelo zabazali kushiya umkhondo onzulu onokuchaphazela ubudlelwane bethu kubomi bethu bonke. Nangona kunjalo, ukuqonda kwezi patheni kunye nomsebenzi wobuqu ojoliswe kuwo kunokusivumela ukuba siphinde sibhale imbali yethu yobudlelwane. Ngokuqonda ubuthathaka bethu, asikwazi ukuzikhusela kuphela kubudlelwane obuyityhefu, kodwa sikhulise ubudlelwane obunempilo, obulungeleleneyo nobanelisayo. Indlela eya empilweni inokuba nde, kodwa inyathelo ngalinye elikhokelela ekuziqondeni okukhulu kunye nobudlelwane obukhuseleke ngakumbi luloyiso kwixesha lethu elidlulileyo kunye notyalo-mali kwintlalontle yethu yexesha elizayo.
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Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.