Ngaba uziva uvaleleke kubudlelwane obuyityhefu? Ngaba uziva ngathi iqabane lakho lisoloko likuxhaphaza? Kungenzeka ukuba uphantsi kweempembelelo ze-narcissistic manipulator. Ungakhathazeki, awuwedwa kule meko.
Yintoni ulawulo kubudlelwane?
Ulawulo kuxa umntu enolawulo olunamandla ngokweemvakalelo okanye ngokwasengqondweni phezu kwakho. Kumxholo wobudlelwane, oku kuhlala kuguqulela ukuzithoba komnye, okuthatha njengento ethile kunokuba ngumntu opheleleyo.
Isigaba sokulukuhla – Intlanganiso ebonakala igqibelele: Ukuqala kwempembelelo
Ihlala iqala ngentlanganiso ebonakala inomlingo. Iqabane lakho libonakala lihambelana ngokugqibeleleyo nezinto ozilindeleyo. Esi sigaba silungiselela oko kulandelayo.
Want to break free from this hold?
Yiba nomfanekiso-ngqondweni wokudibana okubonakala kuphuma ngqo kwintsomi. Uziva ngathi ufumene iqabane lakho lomphefumlo, umntu okuqondayo ngokugqibeleleyo kwaye uhlangabezana nazo zonke izinto ozilindeleyo. Yile nto siyibiza ngokuba yindibano yokudibanisa.
Olu qhagamshelwano lwangoko lunokuchazwa ngeendlela ezininzi:
- Ukuhambelana ngokwendalo phakathi kobuntu bakho
- Amaxesha obuthathaka kubomi bakho bobuqu okanye bomsebenzi
- Imfuneko enzulu yokuziva uqondwa kwaye uthandwa.
Amaqhinga okuLawula Ngaphantsi: Zisichaphazela Njani?
Ukukhohlisa kufana nenkungu ethi kancinane ingene. Siyalahleka, sizikhethe, size sigqibele siziva sinetyala singasazi isizathu. Nantsi indlela enokuzibonakalisa ngayo:
- Kubomi bemihla ngemihla: Iqabane lakho libeka esweni izenzo zakho kwaye ngokuthe ngcembe likwahlukanisa nabantu obathandayo okanye emsebenzini wakho. Usenokude afune ukulawula imali yakho.
- In iimvakalelo: Amagama aba zizixhobo. emotional blackmail ibonakala. “Ukuba ubundithanda ngenene, ubuya kundenzela le nto…”
- Kunxibelelwano: Lulawulo lokuchasana. Ngenye imini kumhlophe, ngengomso kube mnyama. Asazi ukuba sidanisa kweliphi inyawo!
Iimpawu ezicacileyo zempembelelo ye-narcissistic manipulator
Ukuqaphela impembelelo ye-manipulator ye-narcissistic akusoloko kulula, ngakumbi ekuqaleni kobudlelwane. Nazi iimpawu ezithe ngqo ezinokukunceda uchonge le meko:
1. Ukulawulwa ngokweemvakalelo
I-manipulator ye-narcissistic iyagqwesa kubugcisa bokukhohlisa. Anga:
- Ukusebenzisa i-blackmail yeemvakalelo ukufumana into ayifunayo
- Ukudlala ngeemvakalelo zakho, ukusuka kububele obugqithisileyo ukuya ekubeninda ngephanyazo
- Wena ukwenza uzive unetyala ngezinto ongenaxanduva ngazo.
2. Ukuhla kwexabiso rhoqo
Uzama ukujongela phantsi ukuzithemba kwakho:
- Uyalugxeka ukhetho lwakho, izinto ozithandayo, inkangeleko yakho
- Uyenza ncinane impumelelo yakho kwaye uyazibaxa iimpazamo zakho
- Wenza amazwi ahlabayo phantsi koburharha okanye “ingcebiso”
3. Ukulawula ngokugqithisileyo
I-narcissistic manipulator ifuna ukulawula yonke into ebomini bakho:
- Ibeka esweni ukuza nokuhamba kwakho, iifowuni zakho, imiyalezo yakho
- Uzama ukwahlukanisa nabahlobo bakho nosapho lwakho
- Ufuna ukwenza isigqibo ngokhetho lwakho lobuchwephesha okanye lobuqu
4. Umona nokuba nempatho
Nangona enokungathembeki, unomona ogqithisileyo:
- Utyhola ngaphandle kobungqina
- Utolika esona senzo sincinci njengokungcatsha
- Ifuna ingqalelo rhoqo
5. Ukungabi naluvelwano
I-narcissistic manipulator ayikwazi ukuzibeka endaweni yakho:
- Akanamdla kwaphela kwiingxaki zakho okanye kwiimvakalelo zakho
- Usoloko ejikela kuye incoko
- Akaze acele uxolo ngokunyanisekileyo
6. Ukuziphatha kwebhayisekile
Ubudlelwane buhlala bulandela umjikelo oqikelelwayo:
- Inqanaba elibukhali lokuhenda
- Inqanaba lokuthotywa kwexabiso kunye nobundlobongela ngokwasengqondweni
- Inqanaba loxolelo kunye nezithembiso zotshintsho
7. Ukukhanyisa ngegesi
Icela umngeni imbono yakho ngobunyani:
- Uzikhanyela iziganeko enazifumana kunye
- Ubanga ukuba awuqondanga okanye uyabaxa
- Ikwenza uthandabuze inkumbulo yakho kunye nesigwebo
8. Ubuso obubini
I-narcissistic manipulator ibonisa umfanekiso owahluke kakhulu kuluntu nangasese:
- Unomtsalane kwaye uthandwa ngumntu wonke ongaphandle
- Uba nguzwilakhe kwaye ukhohlakele kube kanye kunye nawe
9. Ukunqongophala kokulalanisa
Kubudlelwane bakho, yonke into kufuneka yenziwe ngokwemiqathango yakhe:
- Uyala ukuxoxa okanye ukuthethathethana
- Ubeka izigqibo zakhe ngaphandle kokuthathela ingqalelo uluvo lwakho
- Ugqala iimfuno zakhe kuphela ezibalulekileyo
Ukuqaphela le miqondiso linyathelo lokuqala ekuphumeni ekubanjweni kwe-narcissistic manipulator. Ukuba uyaziqaphela kwiingongoma ezininzi kwezi, musa ukuthandabuza ukuthetha nabantu obathembileyo okanye ufune uncedo lwengcali.
Ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo phantsi kweempembelelo ze-narcissistic manipulator
Ukuba phantsi kweempembelelo ze-narcissistic manipulator kudala ukungonwabi okunzulu ngokwasengqondweni. Uziva ungonwabanga, awukwazi ukuqikelela imo yeqabane lakho okanye ukuphendula. Oku kungaqiniseki okusisigxina kubangela uxinzelelo olunzulu kunye nokukhathazeka okungapheliyo. Uyazithandabuza iimbono zakho, iinkumbulo zakho kunye nokuba nengqondo yakho. I-manipulative narcissist iyabuza ubunyani bakho, ikwenza ukholelwe ukuba unoxanduva lwazo zonke iingxaki kubudlelwane bakho.
Esi siganeko, esibizwa ngokuba yi-gaslighting, ngokuthe ngcembe kuphelisa ukuzithemba kwakho kunye nokuzithemba kwakho. Ngokufuthi uziva unetyala, uneentloni, yaye ungakufanelekeli ukuthandwa okanye ukuhlonelwa. Oku kuphazamiseka ngokwasengqondweni kunokukhokelela kuxinzelelo, iingxaki zokulala kunye neempawu zomzimba ezinjengentloko ebuhlungu okanye iingxaki zokwetyisa.
Ingqondo yethu izama njani ukusikhusela ekuthathweni?
Xa siphila phantsi kweempembelelo, ingqondo yethu ibeka amacebo okuzama ukusikhusela. Kufana nenkqubo yokuzikhusela ezenzekelayo. Makhe sijonge ezi ndlela kunye, ezinokuthi ngamanye amaxesha zisimangalise:
- Ukwahlukana: Xa siziva siqhawukile
- Ukufunda ukungabi nakuzinceda: Xa sinikezela
- Ukwandisa ukunyamezela: Xa into engavumelekanga iba “yinto eqhelekileyo”.
- Buyisa umva ubutyala: Xa siziva sinoxanduva.
- Ukukhuselwa komhlaseli: Ingxaki ephazamisayo
- Uxinzelelo lwasemva koxinzelelo: Iziphumo ezingabonakaliyo emva kweziphumo
Iimpembelelo zolawulo lwe-narcissistic manipulator ebomini bakho
Ukuba phantsi kweempembelelo kunokuba nemiphumo emibi kwimpilo yakho yengqondo kunye nomzimba:
Ukuwohloka kokuzithemba
- Uhlala uthandabuza izakhono zakho kunye nokufaneleka kwakho
- Unobunzima bokwenza izigqibo, kwanezona zilula
- Uziva unoxanduva kuzo zonke iingxaki kubudlelwane bakho.
Ukubekwa wedwa koluntu
- Ngokuthe ngcembe uyemka kubahlobo nosapho lwakho
- Uyakunqanda ukuya kwiindawo zokuzonwabisa ngenxa yokoyika ukusabela kweqabane lakho
- Uziva uwedwa kwaye ungaqondwa kakuhle, naphambi kwabanye abantu.
Ukuphazamiseka kobomi bomsebenzi
- Ukugxila kwakho kunye nemveliso emsebenzini kuncipha
- Awunakuzithemba ukubamba amathuba amatsha eengcali
- Uyoyika ukuba iqabane lakho liya kutshabalalisa umsebenzi wakho
- Kusenokufuneka ukwala ukunyuselwa okanye utshintshe imisebenzi ukuze wanelise iqabane lakho.
Ukuphazamiseka ngokweemvakalelo
- Uhlala uziva uxhalabile, ngakumbi ngaphambi kokuba uye ekhaya
- Izehlo zokudakumba zisenokwenzeka, ngokulahlekelwa ngumdla kwimisebenzi yakho yesiqhelo
- Uba neenguquko zeemvakalelo ezingalindelekanga, ukusuka eludakeni ukuya emsindweni.
Iingxaki zempilo yomzimba
- Unengxaki yokuphazamiseka kokulala: ukuphuthelwa, amaphupha amabi, ukuvuka rhoqo
- Intloko okanye intlungu engapheliyo yemisipha ingavela
- Amajoni akho omzimba abuthathaka, nto leyo ekwenza ube sesichengeni ngakumbiizigulo zomoyaokanye ngokwasemzimbeni
- Usenokuba neengxaki zokutya.
Ukuphulukana nesazisi
- Uziva ngathi awusaziboni
- Izinto ozithandayo, izimvo zakho, imikhwa yakho iyatshintsha ukuze ihambelane nezo zeqabane lakho
- Unobunzima bokuvakalisa iimfuno kunye neemfuno zakho.
Ukuphazamiseka kokubona ixesha
- Iintsuku zibonakala zolula ngonaphakade
- Unobunzima bokuzibonakalisa kwixesha elizayo okanye ukwenza izicwangciso
- Uziva ngathi ubomi bakho bumisiwe, awusaqhubeki.
Ukungakhathali
- Uhlala ulindile, uqwalasele utshintsho oluncinci kwimo yeqabane lakho
- Uhlalutya onke amagama kunye nezenzo zakho ukuze uphephe iingxabano
- Ukhula ngakumbi ubuntununtunu kwimbonakalo yobuso kunye nethoni yelizwi.
Ukulahleka kwentsingiselo
- Uyathandabuza iinqobo kunye neenkolelo zakho
- Uvakalelwa kukuba ubomi bakho abusenayo intsingiselo okanye ulwalathiso
- Uziva uvaliwe kwiinjongo zakho kunye namaphupha akho ekamva
- Uba nemvakalelo yokungabi nanto yangaphakathi ekunzima ukuyizalisa.
Ezi mpembelelo kubomi bakho bemihla ngemihla zihamba kancinci kodwa zinzulu. Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ezi mpawu ukuze ukwazi ukuthatha inyathelo kwaye uphinde ukwazi ukulawula ubomi bakho. Khumbula ukuba le miphumo, nangona ibuhlungu, ayihlali isisigxina. Ngoncedo kunye nenkxaso, kunokwenzeka ukuba uphumelele kwaye wakhe ubomi obanelisayo.
Ungazikhulula njani kwimpembelelo ye-narcissistic manipulator?
Kuyenzeka ukuba uphume kule meko inzima. Nanga amanye amanyathelo okuqalisa indlela yakho eya enkululekweni:
- Yamkele imeko: vuma ukuba uphantsi kwempembelelo ye-narcissistic manipulator.
- Phinda uqhagamshelane nabantu obathandayo: zingqonge nabantu abanenkathalo
- Misela imida ecacileyo: funda ukuthi hayi kwaye iimfuno zakho zihlonitshwe
- Funa uncedo lobuchwephesha: ingcali yokunyanga inokukunceda ukuba udlule koku.
Ngaba ufuna ukuthetha nomntu oqondayo?
I-Cristina ixhasa amaxhoba e-narcissistic manipulators iminyaka. Isicwangciso sesenzo esibambekayo ukusuka kutshintshiselwano lokuqala. Iseshini yoqeqesho lwevidiyo yomntu ngamnye (iSkype okanye iWhatsApp) — €100 ngeseshoni nganye.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.