Ingabe uzizwa uvaleleke ebudlelwaneni obunobuthi? Ingabe unomuzwa wokuthi umlingani wakho uhlale ekuphatha kabi? Kungenzeka ukuthi ungaphansi kwethonya le-narcissistic pervert. Ungakhathazeki, awuwedwa kulesi simo.
Kuyini ukulawula ebudlelwaneni?
Ukulawula yilapho othile enokulawula okunamandla ngokomzwelo noma kwengqondo phezu kwakho. Ebudlelwaneni, lokhu kuvame ukuhumushela ekuthobeni komunye umuntu, okubuka njengento nje hhayi njengomuntu ophelele.
Isigaba sokuyenga – Umhlangano obonakala uphelele: Ukuqala kwethonya
Imvamisa iqala ngomhlangano obonakala unomlingo. Umlingani wakho ubonakala efanelana ngokuphelele nalokho okulindele. Lesi sigaba silungiselela okulandelayo.
UCristina unikeza iseshini yomuntu ngamunye ukukusiza uphume ekulawulweni okuhlukumezayo futhi wakhe impilo yakho kabusha.
Cabanga ngokuhlangana okubonakala kuphuma enganekwaneni. Uzizwa sengathi uthole umlingani wakho womphefumulo, umuntu okuqonda kahle futhi ohlangabezana nakho konke okulindele. Lokhu kubizwa ngokuthi umhlangano we-fusion.
Lokhu kuxhumana okusheshayo kungachazwa ngezindlela eziningana:
- Ukuphelelisana okungokwemvelo phakathi kobuntu bakho
- Izikhathi zobuthakathaka empilweni yakho yomuntu siqu noma yobungcweti
- Isidingo esijulile sokuzizwa uqondwa futhi uthandwa.
Amaqhinga Okukhohlisa Ngaphansi: Asithinta Kanjani?
Ukukhohlisa kufana nenkungu ehlala kancane kancane. Siyalahleka, sizihlukanise, futhi sigcine sizizwa sinecala singazi ngempela ukuthi kungani. Nansi indlela engabonakalisa ngayo:
- Empilweni yansuku zonke : Umlingani wakho uqapha izenzo zakho futhi kancane kancane ukuqhelelanisa nabantu obathandayo noma umsebenzi wakho. Angase afune ngisho nokulawula izimali zakho.
- Emizweni Amazwi aba yizikhali. ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo uvela. “Ukube ubungithanda ngempela, ubungenzela lokhu…”
- Kwezokuxhumana : Kungumbuso wokuphikisana. Ngolunye usuku kumhlophe, ngakusasa kumnyama. Asisazi ukuthi sizodansa ngaluphi unyawo!
Izimpawu ezichazayo zokulawulwa kwe-narcissistic pervert
Ukuqaphela ithonya le-narcissistic pervert akulula ngaso sonke isikhathi, ikakhulukazi ekuqaleni kobudlelwane. Nazi izimpawu eziqondile ezingakusiza ukuthi ubone lesi simo:
1. Ukuxhaphaza imizwelo
I-narcissistic pervert iphumelela kakhulu kubuciko bokukhohlisa. Angakwazi:
- Ukusebenzisa i-blackmail ukuze athole lokho akufunayo
- Ukudlala ngemizwa yakho, ukusuka emuseni owedlulele kuye ekubeninde ngokuphazima kweso
- wena ukwenza umuntu azizwe enecala ngezinto ongenasibopho sazo
2. Ukwehla kwenani njalo
Ulwela ukucekela phansi ukuzethemba kwakho:
- Uyakugxeka ukukhetha kwakho, okuthandayo, nokubukeka kwakho
- Unciphisa impumelelo yakho futhi wenza ihaba ngamaphutha akho
- Ukhuluma amazwi alimazayo ezenza amahlaya noma “iseluleko”
3. Ukulawula ngokweqile
I-narcissistic pervert ifuna ukulawula yonke into empilweni yakho:
- Iqapha ukuza kwakho nokuhamba kwakho, izingcingo zakho, imilayezo yakho
- Uzama ukukuhlukanisa nabangane nomndeni wakho
- Ufuna ukunquma izinqumo zakho zobungcweti noma zomuntu siqu
4. Umona nokuba nezinto
Nakuba engase angathembeki, unomona omkhulu:
- Ubeka icala ngaphandle kobufakazi
- Uhumusha ukuthinta okuncane njengokukhaphela
- Kudinga ukunakwa njalo
5. Ukuntula uzwela
Umphendukezeli we-narcissistic akakwazi ukuzibeka endaweni yakho:
- Akanandaba ngempela nezinkinga zakho noma imizwelo yakho
- Ulokhu ephendulela kuyena inkulumo
- Akalokothi axolise ngobuqotho
6. Ukuziphatha kwebhayisikili
Ubudlelwano ngokuvamile bulandela umjikelezo obikezelwayo:
- Isigaba sokuyenga esinamandla
- Isigaba sokwehlisa inani nodlame olungokwengqondo
- Isigaba sokuthethelela kanye nezithembiso zoshintsho
7. Ukukhanyisa ngegesi
Kubekela inselele umbono wakho weqiniso:
- Uyayiphika imicimbi enahlangabezana nayo ndawonye
- Uthi awuqondanga noma unehaba
- Kukwenza ungabaze inkumbulo nokwahlulela kwakho
8. Ubuso Okubili
I-narcissistic pervert iveza isithombe esihluke kakhulu esidlangalaleni nangasese:
- Uyathandeka futhi uthandwa yiwo wonke umuntu ongaphandle
- Uba nonya futhi abe nesihluku kanye nawe
9. Ukuntuleka kokuvumelana
Ebudlelwaneni bakho, konke kufanele kwenziwe ngokwemibandela yakhe:
- Uyenqaba ukuxoxa noma ukuxoxisana
- Ubeka izinqumo zakhe ngaphandle kokucabangela umbono wakho
- Ubheka izidingo zakhe kuphela ezibalulekile
Ukuqaphela lezi zimpawu kuyisinyathelo sokuqala sokuphuma ekubanjweni kwe-narcissistic pervert. Uma uzazi ukuthi ungubani kwamanye ala maphuzu, ungangabazi ukukhuluma nabantu obathembayo noma ukufuna usizo lochwepheshe.
Ukungakhululeki ngokwengqondo ngaphansi kwethonya le-narcissistic pervert
Ukuba ngaphansi kwethonya le-narcissistic pervert kudala ukungakhululeki okujulile kwengqondo. Uzizwa usonqenqemeni, ungakwazi ukubikezela isimo sengqondo somlingani wakho noma ukusabela kwakhe. Lokhu kungaqiniseki okuhlala njalo kudala ukucindezeleka okukhulu nokukhathazeka okungapheli. Uyayingabaza imibono yakho, izinkumbulo zakho ngisho nengqondo yakho. I-narcissist inselele iqiniso lakho, ikwenza ukholwe ukuthi nguwe obhekene nazo zonke izinkinga ebudlelwaneni bakho.
Lesi senzakalo, esibizwa ngokuthi i-gaslighting, kancane kancane siqeda ukuzethemba nokuzethemba kwakho. Ngokuvamile uzizwa unecala, unamahloni, futhi ungakufanelekeli ukuthandwa noma ukuhlonishwa. Lokhu kuphatheka kabi ngokwengqondo kungaholela ekucindezelekeni, ezinkingeni zokulala ngisho nezimpawu zomzimba ezifana nekhanda elibuhlungu noma izinkinga zokugaya ukudla.
Ingqondo yethu izama kanjani ukusivikela ekuthathweni?
Lapho siphila ngaphansi kwethonya, ubuchopho bethu bubeka amasu okuzama ukusivikela. Ifana nesistimu yokuzivikela ezenzakalelayo. Ake sibheke lezi zindlela ndawonye, ezingase zisimangaze ngezinye izikhathi:
- Ukuhlukana: Lapho sizizwa sinqanyuliwe
- Ukufunda ukungabi namandla: Lapho siyeka
- Ukukhula Ukubekezelelana: Lapho Okungamukeleki Kuba “Okuvamile.”
- Buyisa icala: Lapho sizizwa sinesibopho.
- Ukuvikelwa komhlaseli: Indida ephazamisayo
- Ingcindezi yangemva kokuhlukumezeka: Imiphumela engabonakali yangemva kwesigameko
Imithelela yokulawulwa kwe-narcissistic pervert empilweni yakho
Ukuba ngaphansi kwethonya kungaba nemiphumela emibi kakhulu empilweni yakho yengqondo nengokomzimba:
Ukuwohloka kokuzethemba
- Uhlale ungabaza amakhono akho nokufaneleka kwakho
- Unobunzima bokwenza izinqumo, ngisho nezilula kakhulu
- Uzizwa unecala kuzo zonke izinkinga ebudlelwaneni bakho.
Ukuzihlukanisa emphakathini
- Kancane kancane uya kude nabangane bakho nomndeni wakho
- Ugwema ukuvakashela umphakathi ngenxa yokwesaba ukusabela komlingani wakho
- Uzizwa uwedwa futhi ungaqondwa kahle, ngisho naphambi kwabanye abantu.
Ukuphazamiseka kwempilo yobungcweti
- Ukugxilisa ingqondo nokukhiqiza kwakho emsebenzini kuyehla
- Awunakho ukuzethemba kokusebenzisa amathuba amasha ochwepheshe
- Wesaba ukuthi umlingani wakho uzocekela phansi umsebenzi wakho
- Kungase kudingeke ukuthi wenqabe ukukhushulwa esikhundleni noma ushintshe imisebenzi ukuze wanelise umlingani wakho.
Ukuphazamiseka kwemizwelo
- Uvamise ukuba nokukhathazeka, ikakhulukazi ngaphambi kokuya ekhaya
- Iziqephu zokudangala zingase zenzeke, ngokulahlekelwa intshisekelo emisebenzini yakho evamile
- Uhlangabezana nokushintshashintsha kwemizwelo okungalindelekile, ukusuka ekudabukeni kuye entukuthelweni.
Izinkinga zempilo yomzimba
- Uhlushwa ukuphazamiseka kokulala: ukuqwasha, amaphupho amabi, ukuvuka njalo
- Ikhanda elibuhlungu noma ubuhlungu obungapheli bemisipha bungase buvele
- Amasosha akho omzimba ayancipha, okwenza ube sengozini enkulu izifo ezingokomoya noma ngokomzimba
- Ungase ube nezinkinga zokudla.
Ukulahlekelwa ubuwena
- Uzizwa sengathi awusaziboni
- Okuthandayo, imibono yakho, imikhuba yakho iyashintsha ukuze ivumelane neyomlingani wakho
- Unenkinga yokuveza izimfuno nezidingo zakho.
Ukuphazanyiswa kokubona kwesikhathi
- Izinsuku zibonakala zinwebeka unomphela
- Unenkinga yokuzibonakalisa esikhathini esizayo noma ukwenza izinhlelo
- Uzwa sengathi impilo yakho imisiwe, awusathuthuki.
Ukuqapha ngokweqile
- Uhlale uqaphile, unake ushintsho oluncane nje lwesimo somlingani wakho
- Uhlaziya wonke amagama nezenzo zakho ukuze ugweme izingxabano
- Uba nokuzwela okuthuthukile kwesimo sobuso nephimbo.
Ukulahlekelwa incazelo
- Uyangabaza izimiso nezinkolelo zakho
- Uzwa sengathi ukuphila kwakho akusenayo injongo noma isiqondiso
- Uzizwa unqanyuliwe ezinhlosweni zakho namaphupho akho esikhathi esizayo
- Uhlangabezana nomuzwa wokungabi nalutho kwangaphakathi okunzima ukuwugcwalisa.
Le mithelela empilweni yakho yansuku zonke ihamba kancane kodwa ijulile. Kubalulekile ukuqaphela lezi zimpawu ukuze ukwazi ukuthatha isinyathelo futhi uphinde ulawule impilo yakho. Khumbula ukuthi le miphumela, nakuba ibuhlungu, ayihlali njalo. Ngosizo nokusekelwa, ungakwazi ukudlula kukho futhi wakhe kabusha ukuphila okwanelisayo.
Ungazikhulula kanjani ethonyeni le-narcissistic pervert?
Kuyenzeka uphume kulesi simo esinzima. Nazi ezinye izinyathelo zokuqala indlela yakho eya enkululekweni:
- Vuma isimo: vuma ukuthi ungaphansi kwethonya le-narcissistic pervert
- Xhumana kabusha nabantu obathandayo: zizungeze nabantu abakhathalelayo
- Beka imingcele ecacile: funda ukwenqaba futhi izidingo zakho zihlonishwe
- Funa usizo lochwepheshe: umelaphi angakusiza ukuthi udlule kulokhu.
Udinga ukukhuluma nomuntu oqondayo?
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Ufuna ukwesekwa komuntu ngamunye?
UCristina unikeza iseshini yomuntu ngamunye ukukusiza uphume ekulawulweni okuhlukumezayo futhi wakhe impilo yakho kabusha.