Kungani i-narcissistic pervert ishiya isisulu sakhe?

Ukuhlukana kuvame ukuba yisikhathi esesabekayo, ikakhulukazi uma omunye wabalingani engumuntu ohlukumezayo ngokuzikhukhumeza. Umonakalo obangelwa yi-a ubuhlobo obunobuthi kuyinselele enzima engafani neze nokuhlukana “okuvamile”. Umuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic ngokuvamile ushiya isisulu sakhe ngaphandle kwencazelo futhi ngendlela enonya.. Okushiya inyamazane yayo esimweni sokukhathazeka okujulile.

Ngabe i-narcissistic pervert isuka nini ngokuhle? 

Umhlaseli onama-narcissistic ushiya inyamazane yakhe unomphela kulandela izehlakalo ezithile. Nazi ezinye izimo ezingase zivele:

inyamazane yayo angeke isakwazi ukusetshenziswa

Lapho isisulu se i-narcissistic pervert uqala ukuthola ubunjalo bakhe bangempela, akasathobeki ngokwanele ukuba angalawulwa. Akasenawo amandla okulawula inyamazane yakhe futhi ayisakuvumeli ukwenziwa izizwe inecala. Umkhohlisi ube esemshiya ukuze athole esinye isisulu esiyokwanelisa izidingo zakhe.

Umkhohlisi usekhathele yisisulu sakhe

Umphendukezeli we-narcissistic angashiya isisulu sakhe nakanjani lapho osemusha engasenandaba namehlo akhe. Kufanele wazi ukuthi uma usothandweni nomuntu ohlanekezela ama-narcissistic, kuzomele umondle emoyeni. Kudingeka futhi uqinisekise ukuthi uzizwa “enamandla onke”.

Nge “vampire engokomzwelo”, isisulu singase sikhathele futhi umhlaseli akasagculiseki ngobudlelwane bakhe. Angase akushiye angakucabangeli nakancane ngoba usekhathele wuwe. Angakuyeka futhi, ngoba usekuqede amandla. Kungenxa yalezi zizathu ukuthi kungcono ukushiya i-narcissistic pervert ngaphambi kokuba akushiye.

Kungani i-narcissistic pervert ishiya isisulu sakhe?

Ebudlelwaneni nalolu hlobo lomuntu, ubuhlobo nomunye kufanele bushukumise umuntu onobuthi ukuze amnike ithuba lokudlala nesisulu sakhe. Kodwa kufanele futhi ivumele umkhohlisi ukuthi azizwe “enamandla onke”. Lowo ohlukunyeziwe kumele abe nenkani futhi azithobe ngesikhathi esifanayo.

Ngaphandle kwale “bhalansi ehlanekezelwe”, i-PN ishintsha inyamazane bese eshiya isisulu sakhe. Ngaphambi kokushiya isisulu sakhe, isigebengu silungisa indawo. Njengoba engumqambimanga omuhle kakhulu futhi engumkhohlisi, ngeke abe nenkinga yokwenza umlingani wakhe abonakale ehlanya, ekhohlakele, ekhohlisayo…

Kungani umkhohlisi omubi engafuni ukukushiya?

Ingabe ekugcineni uwavule amehlo futhi wathola ubuso bangempela bomlingani wakho? Uhlela ukumshiya, kodwa ubonakala ebambelele ebudlelwaneni benu. Uyazibuza-ke ukuthi kungani enza ngale ndlela.

Ukusinda kwe-PN kuncike kuwe 

I-narcissistic pervert ayishiyi isisulu sakhe, ngoba sincike ngokuphelele kuye ukuze siphile. Usebenzisa wena njengodondolo lwakhe lwemilingo. Ngaphandle kwakho, akakwazi ukuveza ukukhungatheka namaphutha akhe. Ngamanye amazwi, umuntu ohlanekezela ama-narcissistic udinga umuntu ozomsola ngokwehluleka kwakhe.

I-narcissistic pervert ayishiyi isisulu sakhe ukuba sibe nesithombe esihle ngaye

Ngokuvamile, i-narcissistic pervert ikhetha isisulu sakhe ngokucophelela. Ungena ebudlelwaneni nomuntu olungile, okhulisiwe, onesikhundla esithakazelisayo noma umbuthano womphakathi. Umkhohlisi uyobe esesebenzisa lezi zimpahla. Uzobukisa ngempumelelo yezisulu zakhe ngokuthatha udumo ngazo. Okumnikeza ithuba lokufutha i-ego yakhe. Kodwa angashesha abe nomona ngempumelelo yomlingani wakhe futhi azokwenza noma yini ukumholela ekuhlulekeni.

Ngokusho kwakhe ungowakhe yingakho ehlala

Kubalulekile ukucacisa ukuthi i-narcissistic pervert akasithandi isisulu sakhe. Akamthathi njengomuntu, kodwa into okungeyakhe. Kanjalo, isisulu sakhe asinalo ilungelo lokumlahla futhi kukuye ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokuyishintsha afake enye noma cha.

Umuntu ohlanekezelekayo akakushiyi ngoba akakuqedanga ngokuphelele

Uma engafuni ukukushiya, yingoba umuntu ohlanekezela u-narcissistic akakawuqedi umsebenzi wakhe wokubhubhisa. Ekuqaleni kobudlelwano, umkhohlisi utshala imali ekuyengeni okukhulu. Ube eseba nethonya ngesineke phezu kwesisulu sakhe ngokwakha ubuhlobo obuseduze. Ngokubona ukushiyeka okungokwengqondo kwempango yakhe, kancane kancane umba emthumeni wokuncika kwakhe ngokomzwelo.

Ube esethatha lesi sakamuva “njengemali etshaliwe” angafuni ukuyidedela. Uzohlala nawe aze aqede ukukucekela phansi. ukukuhlanyisa noma ngisho nokuzibulala. I-narcissistic predator idinga ukuchoboza isisulu saso ukuze sizizwe sinamandla futhi sisilawule kuze kube sekugcineni.

Ungayenza kanjani i-narcissistic pervert ifune ukukuyeka? 

Ukuze ugweme ukuhlupheka ngenxaukukhathazeka futhi ukuze kugwenywe ukubhujiswa ngokuphelele, qiniseka ukuthi ushiya i-narcissistic pervert ngaphandle kokuthi afune ukukubhubhisa ngokubuyisela. Ngalokho:

• Menze afune ukukuyeka unomphela futhi amshaye emdlalweni wakhe siqu Ngakho khumbula ukulalela, kodwa futhi uhloniphe imizwa yakho.

• Ekuqaleni kobudlelwane, hlala uqaphile futhi wethembe imizwa yakho lapho unomuzwa wokuthi isimo asisihle. Lokhu kukuvumela ukuthi uziqaphele ngesimo esingenampilo sobudlelwano ngaphambi kokuba kubambe umthelela womxhwele.

• Khona-ke khumbula izimfanelo nezindinganiso zakho. Nge ukuzethemba okuhle, awumniki umuntu ophendukezela inzondo ithuba lokukubhubhisa. Uma usuvele usebudlelwaneni obunobuthi, cabanga ukuzenza ukunganaki futhi ungayinaki i-PN. Ngakho-ke gcina ibanga elithile phakathi kwakho futhi wenze konke ukuze uhlale uzolile phambi kwakhe.

• Ukunganaki nokungazi izindlela ezimbili ezisebenzayo zokumenza akushiye.

• Kuyelulekwa futhi hlakulela impilo yakho yomphakathi. Ukuze ukulawule, i-narcissistic pervert izofuna ukukuhlukanisa. Ngakho-ke, qiniseka ukuthi ugcine umbuthano womphakathi otshaliwe futhi obandakanyekayo ukuze ugweme imizamo yabo yokukhohlisa. Uma engakwazi ukukulawula nokukuxhaphaza, uzomenza afune ukukuyeka unomphela.

Ireferensi yezincwadi zokuthola ukuthi kungani umuntu ophendukela ku-narcissistic eshiya isisulu sakhe

Nazi izikhombo zebhayibheli eziyisikhombisa endikimbeni ye-narcissistic pervert kanye nezizathu zokuthi kungani eshiya isisulu sakhe:

1. I-Lemieux, M. (2017). I-Narcissistic perverts: Ukuqonda ukuze uzivikele kangcono. Editions de l’Homme.
2. Miller, J. (2019). Ukukhohlisa okusebenzayo kwabashadile: ukuqonda nokwenza. Izinhlobo ze-Eyrolles.
3. Schnyder, S. (2018). Ama-Narcissistic perverts: Zitholele, ziqonde futhi uzikhulule. Izinguqulo Albin Michel.
4. Simon, G. (2015). Ukuhlukunyezwa ngokokuziphatha: Ungaphuma kanjani kukho? Robert Laffon Editions.
5. U-Fischer, E. (2020). I-Psychopaths empilweni yansuku zonke: Ukuthola izikhohlisi nokuzivikela kuzo. Izinhlobo ze-Eyrolles.
6. U-Leroy, J. (2016). Ukuziphatha kwama-manipulators emizwa. Editions de l’Écrou.
7. Durand, P. (2014). I-Psychology yobudlelwano obunobuthi: Ukuqonda ukwenza. Izinguqulo Zokuqala.

Lezi zincwadi zinikeza imibono eyahlukahlukene ngokuziphatha kwabaphendukezeli be-narcissistic futhi zingakusiza uqonde kangcono ukuguquguquka kwalobu budlelwano.

Isiphetho

Sengiphetha, ukushiya i-narcissistic pervert kuyisinyathelo esibalulekile kodwa esiyinkimbinkimbi, esimakwa ngemizwelo ejulile kanye nesidingo sokuvikelwa kwengqondo. Kubalulekile ukuqaphela izimpawu zokukhohlisa futhi uthuthukise ukuzethemba okuqinile ukuze ubalekele leli thonya. Ngokwamukela isimo sengqondo sokunganaki nokuhlakulela ubudlelwano obunempilo, kungenzeka ukuthi uphinde uthole inkululeko futhi uzakhe kabusha ngemva kokuhlangenwe nakho okunobuthi obunjalo. Ukugqashula kulo mjikelezo obhubhisayo kuyisenzo sesibindi nesinyathelo esibheke ekwelapheni.