Ungayithola kanjani i-trigger ukuze uphume ekucindezelekeni?

Usanda kuphuma ebudlelwaneni obunobuthi nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic futhi uzizwa udangele, ulahlekile, uphelelwe amandla akho. Lo muzwa ujwayelekile futhi uyingxenye yenqubo yokuphulukisa. Kodwa-ke, kungenzeka ukuthola i-trigger yokuphuma ekucindezelekeni futhi uphinde uthole injabulo yokuphila. Nansi eminye imibono engakusiza kulolu hlelo.

Qonda ukuthi ukucindezeleka kwakho kunencazelo

Isinyathelo sokuqala sokuphuma ekucindezelekeni ukuqonda ukuthi kunencazelo nenjongo. Ngokuphambene nalokho ongase ukucabange, lesi sigaba esinzima asikona ukwehluleka noma ubuthakathaka ohlangothini lwakho. Lokhu ukusabela okuvamile ekuhlukumezekeni okujulile ngokomzwelo.

Ukucindezeleka kwakho empeleni kuyindlela yokuvikela neyokwelapha ebekwe yi-psyche yakho. Ikuvumela ukuthi:

• Ukudabukisa ubudlelwano nomuntu obucabanga ukuthi uyamazi
• Qaphela ukukhohliswa nokuhlukunyezwa okukhona
• Qala ukuzakha kabusha ezisekelweni ezintsha

Yamukela lesi sigaba njengengxenye ebalulekile yenqubo yakho yokuphulukisa. Yiba nesineke futhi ube nomusa kuwe.

Khomba futhi wamukele imizwa yakho

Ubuhlobo nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic ngokuvamile bushiya isivunguvungu semizwa ephikisanayo: ukudabuka, intukuthelo, icala, amahloni, ukukhululeka … Kubalulekile ukufunda ukukhomba nokubiza le mizwa ukuze ukwazi ukusebenza ngayo.

Ungesabi ukuzwa imizwa yakho ngokugcwele, ngisho naleyo ebuhlungu kakhulu. Ukucindezela noma ukuphika lokho okuzwayo kuzokwandisa ukuhlupheka kwakho. Yamukela ukuthi le mizwa iyingxenye yakho okwamanje, ngaphandle kokuzahlulela.

Ukugcina ijenali kungakusiza ukubeka ngamazwi lokho obhekene nakho. Ukuveza imizwa yakho ngobuciko noma ngezemidlalo nakho kuyazuzisa.

Ukuze uphume ekucindezelekeni, qaphela ukubaluleka kwakho kwangaphakathi

I-narcissistic pervert cishe isichithe izinyanga noma iminyaka ikubeka phansi futhi ikwenza ungabaze ukubaluleka kwakho. Isikhathi sokuphinde ukwazi ukuthi ungubani ngempela.

Yenza uhlu lwezimfanelo zakho, impumelelo yakho, izikhathi lapho wawuziqhenya ngawe. Buza obathandayo ukuthi yini abayithandayo ngawe. Gxila ezintweni ozenza kahle kunobuthakathaka bakho.

Khumbula ukuthi unegugu langaphakathi, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uthini. Ufanelwe inhlonipho, uthando nenjabulo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uthini umlingani wakho onobuthi.

Qeda umjikelezo wecala

Izisulu eziningi zama-narcissistic perverts zizizwa zinecala futhi zinesibopho sokungaphumeleli kobudlelwane. Lolu wugibe okungafanele siwele kulo.

Khumbula ukuthi:

• Awunacala ngokuziphatha okuhlukumezayo kozakwethu wangaphambili
• Wenze konke okusemandleni akho ngolwazi owawunalo ngaleso sikhathi
• Unelungelo lokuzivikela futhi ubalekele ebuhlotsheni obunobuthi

La icala kusiza kuphela ukukugcina usesimweni sokuhlupheka. Ngokuqaphela ukhethe ukuzikhulula kukho ukuze uye phambili.

Phinda ulawule impilo yakho

Ubudlelwano nomuntu ohlanekezela i-narcissistic cishe bukwenze wehluleka ukulawula izici eziningi zempilo yakho. Sekuyisikhathi sokubuyisela izintambo.

Qala ngezinto ezincane:

• Sungula isimiso sosuku esikusebenzelayo
• Zibekele imigomo yesikhathi esifushane engokoqobo futhi ugubhe impumelelo ngayinye
• Zithathele izinqumo, ngaphandle kokufuna imvume kwabanye
• Hlela kabusha indawo yakho yokuhlala ngokuthanda kwakho

Kancane kancane, uzophinde uthembele ekhonweni lakho lokuqondisa impilo yakho.

Xhumana kabusha nezinto ozithandayo nezintshisekelo zakho

I-narcissistic pervert cishe isithathe yonke indawo empilweni yakho, ikwenza ukhohlwe izinkanuko zakho. Sekuyisikhathi sokuzithola kabusha!

Yenza uhlu lwakho konke okujabulele ukukwenza ngaphambi kwalobu budlelwano obunobuthi. Ingabe ikhona imisebenzi osuyiyekile? Amaphupho osuwabeke eceleni?

Zivumele ukuthi uhlole izinto ozithakaselayo ezintsha. Bhalisela ikilasi, joyina iklabhu, zama ukuzizwisa okusha. Lokhu kuzokusiza ukuthi uphinde uxhumane nawe futhi uthole incazelo entsha empilweni yakho.

Zizungeze nabantu abakhathalelayo

Ngemuva kobudlelwano obunobuthi, kubalulekile ukuzungeza abantu abalungile nabakhathalelayo. Thola abangani namalungu omndeni akusekela ngokweqiniso.

Ungangabazi ukucela usizo uma uzwa isidingo. Ukwesekwa kochwepheshe bezengqondo kungaba yinzuzo enkulu ekusizeni kulesi sikhathi.

Ukujoyina iqembu losekelo lezisulu zama-narcissistic perverts nakho kungakusiza uzizwe ungedwa futhi wabelane ngolwazi lwakho nabantu abaqondayo ukuthi ubhekene nani.

Nakekela umzimba wakho ukuze uphume ekucindezelekeni

Impilo engokwengqondo nengokomzimba ixhumene kakhulu. Ukunakekela umzimba wakho kuzokusiza uzizwe ungcono ekhanda lakho.

Ezinye izindlela zokuhlola:

• Yidla ukudla okulinganiselayo nokunomsoco
• Zilolonge umzimba njalo
• Lala ngokwanele
• Zama izindlela zokuphumula ezifana nokuzindla noma i-yoga

Thatha isikhathi sokuziphatha: ukugeza okushisayo, ukubhucunga umzimba, ukuhamba ngemvelo … Lezi zikhathi ezincane zenhlalakahle zibalulekile ekwakhiweni kwakho kabusha.

Iphrojekthi esikhathini esizayo

Lapho uphuma ebuhlotsheni obunobuthi, ngezinye izikhathi kuba nzima ukuhlelela ikusasa. Nokho, kuyisinyathelo esibalulekile ekuphumeni ekucindezelekeni.

Qala ngokubona ngeso lengqondo impilo yakho ekahle eminyakeni emi-5. Ubukeka kanjani? Wenzani ? Ubani okuzungezile? Cacisa futhi uchaze kabanzi ngangokunokwenzeka ekubukeni kwakho.

Bese ucabanga ukuthi yiziphi izinyathelo ezibambekayo ongazithatha njengamanje ukuze usondele kulowo mbono. Zibekele imigomo engokoqobo yesikhathi esifushane, esimaphakathi neside.

Hlakulela ukubonga nsuku zonke

Ukubonga kuyikhambi elinamandla lokucindezeleka. Kukusiza ukuthi ugxile ezintweni ezinhle zempilo yakho kunalokho okushodayo.

Njalo kusihlwa, bhala phansi izinto ezi-3 obonga ngazo. Kungaba izinto ezilula kakhulu: ukukhanya kwelanga, ukudla okumnandi, ukumamatheka…

Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, uzothuthukisa isimo sengqondo esihle ngempilo, esizokusiza unqobe ukudangala.

Funda ukuzethemba futhi

La nasiphambeko Ukuba seduze nomuntu ohlukumezayo ozithanda ngokweqile kungalimaza kakhulu ukuzethemba kwakho, kokubili kuwe nakwabanye. Ukwakha kabusha lokho kuzethemba kuyinqubo ethatha isikhathi, kodwa kubalulekile ekwelapheni kwakho.

Qala ngokugcina izithembiso zakho kuwena. Zibekele imigomo enengqondo futhi unamathele kuyo. Konke ukunqoba okuncane kuzokhulisa ukuzethemba kwakho.

Funda ukulalela umuzwa wakho. Cishe ungazinakanga izimpawu eziningi eziyisixwayiso ngesikhathi sobudlelwano bakho obuyingozi. Zithembe ukuthi uzozibona. amafulegi abomvu esikhathini esizayo.

Ireferensi ye-bibliographic yokuthola i-trigger yokuphuma ekucindezelekeni

Nazi izikhombo zebhayibheli eziyisikhombisa ezikhuluma ngendikimba “yezinto ezibangela ukuphuma ekucindezelekeni”:

1. Cohen, A., & O’Connor, K. (2018). I-Psychology of Depression: Ukuqonda kanye nokunqoba izindlela zokugula. EParis: Editions Odile Jacob.
2. U-Léger, J., & Vasseur, M. (2019). La nokuqinisela Ukubhekana nokucindezeleka: Amasu kanye nezindaba zomuntu siqu. I-Lyon: I-Éditions de l’Atelier.
3. Miller, G. (2017). Ukucindezeleka: umhlahlandlela wabelaphi. I-Paris: Izinguqulo ze-Payot.
4. Seligman, MEP (2006). Iqiniso ngenjabulo. I-Paris: Izinguqulo zikaRobert Laffont.
5. Bourguignon, J. (2020). Ukunqoba ukucindezeleka: Izakhi ze-psychology yomtholampilo. EBrussels: Editions de Boeck.
6. Rouleau, M. (2015). Izihluthulelo zokuphulukisa: Ukucindezeleka kanye nendlela ephelele. I-Montreal: Editions Guy Saint-Jean.
7. Tordjman, S. (2013). Ukucindezeleka: Ukuqonda ukwenza. Paris: Editions Masson.

Lezi zithenjwa kufanele zikunikeze isisekelo esiqinile sokuhlola izibangeli ezingakusiza ukuba ubalekele ekucindezelekeni.

Isiphetho: ukuzalwa kabusha kwakho kungenzeka

Ukuphuma ekucindezelekeni ngemva kobudlelwane nomuntu onama-narcissist kuyinqubo ethatha isikhathi, isineke kanye nozwelo olukhulu kuwe. Asikho isisombululo esiyisimangaliso, kodwa ngokusebenzisa lawa masu ahlukene, kancane kancane uzothola indlela yokwelapha.

Khumbula ukuthi unamandla kunalokho okucabangayo. Usinde ebuhlotsheni obunobuthi ngokwedlulele, okufakazela ukuqina kwakho. Lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho, noma kubuhlungu kangakanani, kungase kube isisekelo esiholela ekuphileni okugcwalisekile futhi okuyiqiniso.

Hlala unethemba: ukuzalwa kabusha kwakho akunakwenzeka kuphela, kodwa akunakugwenywa uma uphikelela ohambweni lwakho lokuphulukisa. Ufanelwe ukujabula nokwaneliseka. Zikholelwe kuwe nasemandleni akho okunqoba lesi silingo.