“IiNkawu eziphaphazelayo”: Ukuqonda kunye nokujongana namahlakani eNarcissistic Manipulators

Kwihlabathi elintsonkothileyo lobudlelwane obuyityhefu, kukho into eyingozi kakhulu: “iinkawu eziphaphazelayo”. Aba bantu, bahlala bezikhohlisa, baba ngamahlakani angaqapheliyo amaqhinga e-narcissistic. Masifumanise kunye le ngcamango, impembelelo yayo, kunye nendlela yokuzikhusela kuyo.

Yintoni iFlying Monkey?

Igama elithi “inkawu ephaphazelayo” livela kwi-movie ethi “I-Wizard ye-Oz”, apho i-Witch Witch yaseNtshona iyalela umkhosi weenkawu ezindizayo. Kwimeko yobudlelwane obunobuthi, “iinkawu ezindizayo” ngabantu abathi, ngokuqaphela okanye bengazi, benze egameni le-narcissist, benza “umsebenzi wabo ongcolileyo”.

La mahlakani angaqondanga anokuba:

• Abantu abangabaziyo kwi-intanethi
• Iqabane elitsha le-narcissist
• Amalungu osapho
• Abahlobo bangaphambili
• Osebenza nabo

Kutheni Ufanele Ube “yiNkawu Ebhabhayo”?

Kufanelekile ukubuza ukuba kutheni nabani na enokuyamkela le ndima. Nazi izizathu eziqhelekileyo:

1. I-charisma ekhohlisayo ye-narcissist
2. Ukoyika impindezelo
3. Umnqweno wokuba yinxalenye yesangqa “samalungelo”
4. Ubuchule obuchubekileyo nokuqhubela phambili

Imbono kaNarcissist kwi “Flying Monkeys”

• A Ukuziva u-Omnipotence – Kwi-narcissist, ukuba neenkawu ezibhabhayo kunika imvakalelo eyolisayo yamandla. Khawube nomfanekiso-ngqondweni wovuyo abalufumanayo xa bebona abantu begezela omnye umntu kuba nje ethethe ngako oko.
• UEffortless Validation – I-Narcissists iyayithanda xa abantu bebakhusela ngaphandle kokuba babuze. Oku kuqinisa umfanekiso wabo kwaye kubavumela ukuba bagcine izandla zabo zicocekile.

Iindidi ezahlukeneyo ze “Flying Monkeys”

• I-Naive eneNjongo Elungileyo – Udla ngokusetyenziswa, ucinga ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba uyanceda ngokungenelela kwimeko.
• Umenzi weNgxaki okhohlakeleyo – Lo uyathanda ukusasaza amarhe nokudala iingxabano.
• The Machiavellian onyanisekileyo – Ngamanye amaxesha i-narcissist ngokwakhe, uyayiqonda kwaye ubambelele ngokupheleleyo kwi-ajenda ye-narcissist ephambili.
• Umqeshwa Owoyikayo – Udla ngokunyanzelwa ukuba enze isenzo kuba esoyika ukuphulukana nomsebenzi okanye iwonga lakhe.

Zisebenza Njani “IiNkawu Ezibhabhayo”?

1. Baphinda ubuxoki bomntu
2. Bazama ukweyisela ukuba unike i-narcissist elinye ithuba
3. Basenokukuxhaphaza okanye bakujongele phantsi ngokuthe ngqo
4. Ngamanye amaxesha benza ngathi bayakuxhasa ukuze bakulawule ngcono

Amaqhinga kaNarcissists okudala “iiNkawu ezibhabhayo”

• Iphulo le-Smear – IiNarcissists zigqwesile ekuguquleni abantu ngokuchasene noko bajolise kuko. Basasaza amarhe kwaye bakhohlisa ulwazi ukuze bafumane inkxaso kwabo babangqongileyo.
• Ukusetyenziswa kweXesha le “Honeymoon” – Iqabane elitsha, lisephantsi kwe-spell ye-narcissist, lihlala liba ngumkhuseli wakhe onamandla. Kunzima ukubaqinisekisa ngenyaniso okwangoku.

Amaqhinga eNarcissists kunye “neeNkawu ezibhabhayo” zabo

• Disparagement Iphulo – IiNarcisists zigqwesile ekuguquleni abantu ngokuchaseneyo. Basoloko besebenzisa ezi zinto ukusasaza amarhe okanye ukugxeka iinjongo zabo.
• Vicarious Control – Ngokusebenzisa amaqabane abo, i-narcissists igcina ulawulo ngaphandle ngokuthe ngqo “ukufumana izandla zabo ezingcolileyo.”

Uzikhusela njani kwi “Flying Monkeys”?

• Yazi Iimpawu – Funda ukuchonga ukuziphatha okuqhelekileyo “kweenkawu ezindizayo”: ukuphindaphinda amazwi e-narcissist, ukuzama ukwenza uzive unetyala, njl.
• Gcina umgama wakho – Nciphisa ukusebenzisana kwakho naba bantu, ngakumbi ukuba uphilisa kubudlelwane obuyityhefu. Kuphephe ukujongana ngqo neenkawu ezibhabhayo. Oku kunokulomeleza ulweyiseko lwabo.
• Ukuzigcina unyanisekile kwiiNqobo zakho – Musa ukutsaleleka kwizenzo ezichasene nemigaqo yakho, naphantsi koxinzelelo.
• Gxila ekuPhileni kwakho – Kunokuba uzidinise ngokulwa “neenkawu eziphaphazelayo”, gxila kwintlalontle yakho kunye nokuchacha.
• Gcina Amandla Akho – Musa ukuchitha ixesha lakho uzama ukukholisa abo baphantsi kwempembelelo ye-narcissist.
• Stay Impassive – Ungabonisi ukuba izenzo zabo ziyakuchaphazela. Ukungakhathali sesona sikrweqe sakho.
• Change Subject – Yiqondise kwakhona incoko kubo. Iinkawu ezibhabhayo zidla ngokuthanda ukuthetha ngeziqu zazo.
• Xolela, kodwa yima ngokuqinileyo – Ukuxolelwa ngamanye amaxesha kunokusabalalisa imeko, kodwa gcina imida yakho.
• Yeka iNgxoxo – Ukuba uxinzelelo luba lukhulu, unganqikazi ukuphelisa ukutshintshiselana.

Ikamva le “Flying Monkeys”

Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba iinkawu ezibhabhayo zidla ngokuphela zingamaxhoba ngokwazo. I-narcissist iyabashiya ngokukhawuleza xa bengasenamsebenzi kuye.

👇 Ukuya phambili:

• Abenzi be-narcissistic yotywala: Ukuqonda kunye nokusebenza
• I-Alexithymia kwii-manipulators ze-narcissistic: ukuqonda
• Narcissistic Manipulative Abazali: Ukuqonda, Ukusinda kunye nokuPhilisa