I-Parental alienation syndrome: ukuqonda kunye nokujongana nayo

Njengomntu obhinqileyo okhe wathandana nomntu osebenzisa i-narcissistic manipulator, usenokuba ujongene nemiceli mngeni emininzi. Enye yezona zinto zibuhlungu kakhulu inokuba yi- parental alienation syndrome (PAS), imeko apho iqabane lakho langaphambili lizama ukuguqula abantwana bakho kuwe. Eli nqaku lijolise ekukuncedeni uqonde kwaye ujongane nale nto.

Yintoni i-alienation syndrome yabazali?

Parental Alienation Syndrome ibhekisa kwimeko apho omnye umzali ekhohlisa umntwana ukuba amale omnye umzali, ngaphandle kwesizathu esibambekayo. Kumxholo wokwahlula kwi-manipulator ye-narcissistic, idla ngokuba ngowokugqibela ozama ukuhlukanisa abantwana kuwe.

Iimpawu zokuziphatha ziquka:

• Usoloko ejongela phantsi omnye umzali phambi komntwana
• Thintela unxibelelwano phakathi komntwana nomnye umzali
• Mvuze umntwana xa egxeka omnye umzali
• Ukucima omnye umzali kubomi bomntwana.

Indlela yokuqonda iimpawu zokwahluka kwabazali?

Nazi ezinye iimpawu ezinokubonisa ukuba iqabane lakho langaphambili lizama ukwahlukanisa abantwana bakho:

• Abantwana bakho bakugatya ngequbuliso ngaphandle kwesizathu
• Baphinda ukugxeka ex yakho kuwe igama negama
• Bayala naluphi na unxibelelwano nawe okanye usapho lwakho
• Indlela abaziphatha ngayo itshintsha kakhulu emva kokubona omnye umzali
• Babonakala benombono wehlabathi omnyama nomhlophe malunga nabazali babo

Kutheni le nto ii-narcissists ezikhohlisayo zisebenzisa ukwahlukana kwabazali?

Abaqhubi be-Narcissistic bahlala bebhenela ekuhlukaneni kwabazali ngenxa yezizathu ezininzi:

• Ukusebenzisa ulawulo phezu kwakho ngabantwana
• Ziphindezele ngokwahlukana kwakho
• Gcina umfanekiso wabo ngokuzibonakalisa “njengomzali ongalunganga”
• Yanelisa imfuno yabo yokuhoywa nokunconywa ngabantwana.

Imiphumo yokungavisisani kwabazali ebantwaneni

Ukwahlukana kwabazali kunokuba nemiphumo ebuhlungu yexesha elide kubantwana:

• Imiba yokuzithemba kunye nokuzithemba
• Ubunzima bobudlelwane ebudaleni
• Ukonyuka komngcipheko wokudakumba kunye nokuxhalaba
• Ukuziva guilt njengomntu omdala
• Ubunzima bokuthembela kunye nokunamathela

Indlela yokukhusela abantwana bakho ekungavisisani nabazali?

Nazi ezinye iindlela zokukhusela abantwana bakho:

1. Gcina unxibelelwano oluvulekileyo nolunyanisekileyo kunye nabo
2. Ungamgxeki uyise phambi kwabo, nokuba kunzima
3. Bakhuthaze ukuba babe noluvo lwabo
4. Chitha ixesha elisemgangathweni kunye nabo xa unabo
5. Bhala phantsi zonke iziganeko zokushiywa kwabazali
6. Cinga ngonyango lwentsapho

Amayeza asemthethweni okugxothwa kwabazali

Ukuba ujongene nemeko yokwahlukaniswa kwabazali, iindlela ezininzi zomthetho ziyafumaneka kuwe:

• Cela ukuguqulwa kwesigwebo sogcino
• Biza umlamli wosapho
• Cela ubungcali bengqondo
• Faka isikhalazo sokungamelwa komntwana ukuba kuyimfuneko

Ungalibazisi ukudibana negqwetha losapho malunga nokhetho lwakho.

Indlela yokunyamekela kule meko?

Ukujongana nokungavisisani kwabazali kunokuba nzima kakhulu. Nanga amanye amacebiso onokuzikhathalela:

1. Zijikeleze ngabantu abanenkathalo
2. Bona umntu onyangayo ukuze akuncede ulawule iimvakalelo zakho
3. Joyina iqela lenkxaso kubazali abangafuniyo
4. Ziqhelanise nemisebenzi ehlaziya iibhetri zakho
5. Hlala unethemba kwaye uhlale unomonde-inyani ihlala iphuma ekugqibeleni

Ukwakha kwakhona ubudlelwane nabantwana bakho emva kokuhlukana kwabazali

Ukuba abantwana bakho bachasene nawe, ukwakha ubuhlobo bakho kwakhona kuya kuthatha ixesha kunye nomonde. Nanga amanye amacebiso:

1. Musa ukubanyanzela ukuba bakhethe phakathi kwabazali babo
2. Phulaphula iimvakalelo zabo ngaphandle kokubagweba
3. Bonisa ukungaguquguquki kunye nokuthembeka
4. Dala iinkumbulo ezintsha ezintle kunye
5. Banike ixesha lokuphilisa ngesantya sabo

Ukubaluleka kokubhalwa phantsi kokwahlukaniswa kwabazali

Kubalulekile ukugcina iirekhodi zazo zonke iziganeko zokushiywa kwabazali:

• Bhala phantsi imihla, amaxesha kunye neenkcukacha zesiganeko ngasinye
• Gcina imiyalezo okanye ii-imeyile ezingqina ukukhohlisa
• Bhala utshintsho kwindlela yokuziphatha yabantwana bakho
• Gcina umkhondo wotyelelo oluphosiweyo okanye olurhoxisiweyo

Obu bungqina bunokuba luncedo ukuba kufuneka uye enkundleni.

Ungakuchaza njani ukuhlukana kwabazali kubantwana bakho?

Ukuwuxubusha lo mbandela nabantwana bakho kufuna ubuchule. Nanga amanye amacebiso:

• Intetho yakho mayivisisane nobudala babo
• Bacacisele ukuba bobabini abazali bayabathanda, phezu kwazo nje iingxabano
• Bakhuthaze ukuba baveze iimvakalelo zabo
• Baqinisekise ukuba ayilotyala labo
• Kuphephe ukwenza iidemon komnye umzali, nokuba uyahenda.

Iintsomi kunye neenyani malunga nesifo sokuxhatshazwa kwabazali

Zininzi iingcamango eziphosakeleyo malunga ne-SAP. Nazi iintsomi ezinokuthi zingalungiswa:

• Myth: SAP ayikho.
• Okwenyani: Nangona impikiswano, le nto ibonwa ngabasebenzi abaninzi.
• Intsomi: Ngootata kuphela abagxotha abantwana.
• Reality : Bobabini oomama nootata banokubangela ukuba abazali bahlukane.
• Intsomi: Abantwana abahlukanisiweyo abanakuze baphinde baqhagamshelane nomzali owaliweyo.
• Reality: Ngexesha kunye nenkxaso efanelekileyo, ubudlelwane bunokwakhiwa kwakhona.

Indlela yokulawula iiholide zentsapho kunye neziganeko kwimeko yokuhlukana kwabazali?

Amaxesha eholide anokuba nzima ngakumbi. Nanga amanye amacebiso:

1. Lungiselela ngokweemvakalelo kwangaphambili
2. Yenza izithethe ezitsha nabantwana bakho xa bekunye nawe
3. Hlala ubhetyebhetye kwimihla yokubhiyozela
4. Thumela amakhadi okanye izipho ezincinci nokuba abantwana bakho bakude
5. Zijikeleze nabantu obathandayo abakhathalayo ngala maxesha.

Ukwahlukaniswa kwabazali okwenziwa ngumama

L’ukwahlukana kwabazali, xa isenziwa ngumama, inokuba nempembelelo enkulu kwindlela intombazana ebona ngayo amadoda kwaye ibumba ubudlelwane bayo njengomntu omdala. Kulo mongo, umama unako, ngabom okanye hayi, ukwenza umzekelo wokuhla kwexabiso likayise, ekhokelela intombi ukuba ibaleke imodeli kayise kwaye ifune amaqabane afana nonina. Nantsi indlela olusebenza ngayo olu matshini:

Ukuhla kwexabiso likatata

Xa umama owahlukanisileyo emnyelisa okanye emjongela phantsi uyise, oku kubethelela entombini umbono ombi ngendoda. Ngokunxulumanisa iimpawu zobudoda kunye neendlela zokuziphatha ezibonwa njengentsilelo, eziyingozi okanye ezingathembekanga, intombazana inokuphuhlisa indlela yokuzikhusela nto leyo emenza alahle yonke into ekhumbuza uyise. Oku kugatywa kusenokuphenjelelwa ngumnqweno wokuzikhulula kumfanekiso oyindoda ogqalwa njengongazinzanga okanye owenzakalisayo, aze ke afune ukukuphepha ukuzifumana ekwimeko efana neyakhe ebuntwaneni. Oku kuguquguqukayo kunokudala ipateni yeemvakalelo apho indoda ibonwa njengesoyikiso, iyenze ijike kwimizekelo yamadoda.

Ukwazana nomama

Ngokuvumelana neengcamango zikanina ngoyise, intombi inokuphuhlisa a isazisi esibambelele ngamandla kwimilinganiselo yobumama kunye nokuziphatha. Oku kunokubangela ukuba umama adibane ngokunzulu ngakumbi, kubethelele ingcamango yokuba indoda ifanele ibonwe ngeliso lobufazi, edla ngokunxulunyaniswa neempawu zokuthamba, imfesane, okanye ukulawula. Kule ntshukumo, intombazana ifunda ukubona amadoda kungekhona njengamanani amagunya okanye amandla, kodwa njengamaqabane anokukwazi ukuvelisa ukuziphatha komama. Oku kunokukhokelela ekubeni afune amadoda aneempawu ezifanayo zobufazi okanye zobunina, ezinjengobuntununtunu, imfuneko yokhuseleko, okanye isimbo sonxibelelwano esithambileyo.

Ukufuna ukukhuseleka ngokweemvakalelo

THE ukwaliwa kwemodeli kayise isenokuba yimpendulo kwintswelo engekho zingqondweni yokhuseleko lweemvakalelo. Intombazana, ekubeni iye yadibana nemodeli yentsapho engazinzanga, inokuziva ikhuselekile ngakumbi kumadoda abonakalisa iimpawu ezinxulumene nonina. Ngokufuna amaqabane afana nomama wakhe, uzama ukuphinda enze imeko-bume yeemvakalelo eqhelekileyo, nangona oku kusenokuthetha ukungahoyi iingxaki ezinokubakho ezinxulumene noku kuguquguquka. Le mfuneko yokhuseleko olungokweemvakalelo inokumkhokelela ekubeni akhethe amadoda amthuthuzelayo ngandlel’ ithile, ethabathel’ indawo inkangeleko kabawo ngeemodeli ezingakumbi zobunina, nto leyo esenokugqalwa njengeyingozi kangako.

Ukuphindaphinda iipateni

Ngokukhangela amadoda afana nomama wakhe, intombazana nayo isengozini yokuwela kwi- ipateni ephindayo apho azifumanisa ekubudlelwane obungeyompilo okanye obungalungelelaniyo. Amadoda awakhethayo anokwabelana ngeempawu ezinokuthi, nangona ziqhelekile, zingahambelani neempawu ezintle nezinelisayo. Unako ke ukuvelisa iipateni zobudlelwane ezingasebenziyo, edala amandla apho aziva ekwindima yenkxaso okanye ethobekileyo, ngelixa ephepha ngabom nayiphi na indlela yokuziphatha yobudoda ebonwa inesiphene. Oku kuphindaphinda kunokukhokelela kubudlelwane obungalinganiyo, apho intombazana ifuna ukunyamekela amaqabane ayo, ithatha i-posture yomama, ngelixa ibalekela ingxabano okanye ukujongana nokuba indoda efana noyise inokumela.

Ingxaki ngokweemvakalelo

Ngokubalekela imodeli yooyise kunye nokufuna amaqabane afana nonina, intombi inokubanjwa kwi- ingxaki ngokweemvakalelo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, unqwenela ukuseka ubudlelwane obuphilileyo obusekelwe kuthando kunye nentlonipho, kodwa kwelinye icala, unomdla kwiimodeli ezinokuthi zingahlangabezani nokulindela kwakhe ngokweemvakalelo. Olu ngquzulwano lwangaphakathi lunokudala umthombo wonxunguphalo kunye nokubhideka, apho athi aqhawuke phakathi komtsalane wamadoda aquka inguqulelo yobunina kunye nesidingo sokuzimela geqe kunye nokuzimela asileleyo ukukuphuhlisa ngenxa yoku.ukwahlukana kwabazali.

Ukuqukumbela

Ukuqukumbela, ukujongana ne-syndrome yokwahlukana kwabazali xa uye waba yi- ixhoba le-narcissistic pervert ngumngeni omkhulu. Nangona kunjalo, ngomonde, inkxaso kunye nezicwangciso ezifanelekileyo, kunokwenzeka ukukhusela abantwana bakho kwaye ugcine ubudlelwane bakho nabo. Khumbula ukuba awuwedwa kule meko kwaye zikho izixhobo zokukunceda. Hlala unethemba kwaye ugxininise ekuthandeni abantwana bakho – sesona sixhobo sakho sinxamnye nokwahluka kwabazali.