L’Ukwahlukaniswa kwabazali umxhaphazi we-narcissistic – Ukwahlukaniswa kwabazali yindlela echuliweyo yokuphathwa gadalala ngokwasengqondweni, okusoloko kusenziwa ngumzali ozalanayo. Ukuba ungumama oziva uvaleleke kule meko inzima, yazi ukuba akuwedwa. Eli nqaku liza kukunceda uqonde le nto kwaye ufumane iindlela zokuphuma kuyo.
Yintoni ukwahlukana kwabazali?
Ukwahlukana kwabazali kwenzeka xa omnye umzali ekhohlisa umntwana ukuba amale omnye umzali ngaphandle kwesizathu esivakalayo. Kwimeko ye-manipulator ye-narcissistic, oku kuguqulwa kudla ngokufihlakeleyo kwaye kubalwe. Umzali owahlukanisileyo ufuna ukutshabalalisa iqhina phakathi komntwana nomnye umzali, ngokuqhelekileyo ukuze anelise imfuno yabo yokulawula nokulawula. Ukwahlukaniswa kwabazali yinto entsonkothileyo edla ngokuzibonakalisa kwimeko yokwahlukana okungquzulanayo okanye uqhawulo-mtshato olunzima. Ibonakala ngoluhlu lweendlela zokuziphatha kunye nezicwangciso ezibekwe ngumzali, kwimeko yethu i-narcissistic manipulator, ukude umntwana komnye umzali.
Inkcazo kunye neempawu
Ukwahlukaniswa kwabazali kuchazwa njengenkqubo yengqondo apho umntwana, phantsi kweempembelelo zomzali owahlukanisileyo (odla ngokuba ngumgibi we-narcissistic), aze amale omnye umzali ngendlela engafanelekanga nengenamkhethe. Oku kugatywa kudla ngokukhatshwa bubutshaba okanye uloyiko olungenangqiqo kumzali ekujoliswe kuwo.
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Indima ye-narcissistic manipulator
Kumxholo womzali okhohlakeleyo, ukwahlukana kwabazali kuthatha indawo eyingozi kakhulu. Umntu osebenzisa i-narcissistic manipulator, ekhuthazwa yimfuno yakhe yokulawula kunye nokungabi novelwano, usebenzisa umntwana njengesixhobo sokwenzakalisa omnye umzali. Anga:
- Ukuyilawula ngobuchule iimbono zomntwana
- Ukudala ibali elingeyonyani apho aziveza khona “njengexhoba” kwaye omnye umzali “njengomntu ombi”
- Ukusebenzisa ubuthathaka beemvakalelo zomntwana ukomeleza ulawulo lwabo
Imizekelo yeentshukumo zabazali zokuchasa umbhexeshi we-narcissistic emntwaneni
Nantsi eminye imizekelo yezenzo zokwahlukaniswa kwabazali ze-narcissistic manipulator kumntwana:
Ukulawulwa ngokweemvakalelo
- I-narcissistic manipulator inokubonakalisa ukudabuka okanye ukudandatheka xa umntwana kufuneka abone omnye umzali, ethetha izinto ezinjengokuthi, “Ndikukhumbula kakhulu xa ungekho, ndiziva ndedwa.”
- Usenokumenza umntwana azive enetyala ukuba ubonakalisa uthando ngomnye umzali: “Ukhangeleka wonwabe gqitha emva kokubona umama/uyihlo.
Ukudala ibali lobuxoki
- I-manipulative narcissist inokubalisa amabali abaxekileyo okanye obuxoki ngomnye umzali: “Uyazi, xa wawuselusana, umama wakho / uyihlo akazange afune ukukunyamekela. Ndim owenza yonke into.”
- Unokuphinda achaze iinkumbulo zomntwana: “Ngaba uyakhumbula xa sasisiya epakini? Umama wakho / uyihlo akazange afune ukuhamba nathi, wayekhetha ukuhlala yedwa.” Idla ngokuba luhlobo lwephulo le-denigration ye-narcissistic pervert.
Ukonakaliswa kobudlelwane
- Umntu osebenzisa i-narcissistic manipulator usenokuthi “alibale” ukudlulisela imiyalezo okanye izipho ezivela komnye umzali emntwaneni.
- Unokucwangcisa imisebenzi yokuzibandakanya ngexesha lokutyelela omnye umzali: “Oo, kubi kakhulu ukuba uye kumama / utata wakho kule mpelaveki, bendiceba ukuya epakini yokuzonwabisa.”
Ulawulo lolwazi
- I-narcissistic manipulator inokuthintela unxibelelwano phakathi komntwana kunye nomnye umzali, ukufunda imiyalezo okanye ukumamela iifowuni.
- Usenokunika umntwana ulwazi oluyinxenye okanye olugqwethekileyo malunga nezigqibo zentsapho: “Umama/uyihlo akafuni ukuba uye kwesi sikolo, kodwa ungakhathazeki, ndikulwela.” Ukusetyenziswa kwe-gaslighting isetyenziswa rhoqo.
Ukuqikelela iimpazamo zakho
- Umbhexeshi we-narcissistic unokutyhola omnye umzali ngendlela aziphatha ngayo yena ngokwakhe: “Umama/utata wakho uzicingela yedwa, ucinga ngaye kuphela.”
Ukudala umanyano
- Umgibi we-narcissistic unokumphatha umntwana “njengomntu omdala” okanye “umntu ozithembayo”, ukwabelana ngolwazi olungafanelekanga malunga nokungquzulana kwabazali: “Nguwe kuphela ondiqonda ngokwenene. Kufuneka simanyane ngokuchasene nomama / uyihlo.”
Imivuzo echuliweyo kunye nezohlwayo
- Umntu okhohlisayo unokumvuza umntwana xa egxeka omnye umzali: “Unyanisile ukuba umama/uyihlo akalunganga. Ukrelekrele kwaye uqolile.”
- Isenokubonisa ukuphoxeka okanye ikhuphe uthando ukuba umntwana uthetha kakuhle ngomnye umzali.
Ukusebenzisa umntwana njengomthunywa
- Umbhexeshi we-narcissistic unokucela umntwana ukuba adlulisele imiyalezo komnye umzali, ehlala efuna okanye agxeke: “Xelela umama / uyihlo ukuba kufuneka andithumelele imali anetyala lakhe kum.”
Iindlela zokwahlukaniswa kwabazali kwi-narcissistic manipulator
Ukwahlukaniswa kwabazali kwenzeka ngokuthe ngcembe, ngamaqhinga ahlukeneyo:
- Denigration constant: Umzali owahlukanisileyo uyamgxeka aze amjongele phantsi omnye umzali phambi komntwana.
- Ukunciphisa abafowunelwa: Kufuna ukunciphisa okanye ukuthintela ukusebenzisana phakathi komntwana nomnye umzali.
- Ukucima omnye umzali: Kuzama ukucima iinkumbulo ezintle umntwana anazo ngomnye umzali.
- QUkwenziwa komntu oxhomekeke kuye: Uqinisa ubuhlobo nomntwana ngokuzibonakalisa njengokuphela komzali “othembekileyo” nonothando.
Impembelelo kubomi bosapho
Ukungavisisani kwabazali kuphazamisa ngokunzulu ulungelelwano lwentsapho. Kudala umoya wengxwabangxwaba nokungathembani, apho umntwana ngokufuthi azive enyanzelekile ukuba “akhethe icala.” Le meko inokuba nemiphumo yexesha elide ekukhuleni komntwana ngokweemvakalelo nasentlalweni.
Ukwamkelwa ngokusemthethweni kunye nentlalontle
Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuba ukwahlukana kwabazali, nangona kuqatshelwa ngakumbi ngabasebenzi bezempilo yengqondo kunye neenkundla, kuhlala kungumxholo ophikisanayo. Ukuqatshelwa kwayo kunye nenkxaso iyahluka phakathi kwamazwe kunye nolawulo. Ukuqonda ukwahlukaniswa kwabazali linyathelo lokuqala lokuhlangabezana nako. Ukuba ucinga ukuba ulixhoba lolu hlobo lokuziphatha kwi-narcissistic, manipulative ex-partner, musa ukuthandabuza ukufuna uncedo kwiingcali ezikhethekileyo.
Iimpawu zokuxhatshazwa kwabazali kwi-manipulator ye-narcissistic
Nazi ezinye zeendlela zokuziphatha zomntu okhohlisayo owenza ukwahlukaniswa kwabazali:
- Ukujongelwa phantsi komnye umzali rhoqo phambi komntwana
- Iinzame zokunciphisa unxibelelwano phakathi komntwana kunye nomnye umzali
- Ukusebenzisa umntwana njengomthunywa okanye intlola
- Imbuyekezo enikwa umntwana xa egxeka omnye umzali
Impembelelo ebantwaneni nakwiintsapho
Ukwahlukaniswa kwabazali kunokuba neziphumo ezibi kubantwana:
- Ukudideka ngokweemvakalelo
- Ixhala kunye nokudakumba
- Imiba yokuzithemba
- Ubunzima kubudlelwane bexesha elizayo
Kumama ekujoliswe kuye, le meko inokuba buhlungu kakhulu kwaye iphazamise.
Izibonelelo kunye nenkxaso
Ungalibazisi ukufuna uncedo ku:
- Iingcali zonyango ezigxile kwi-narcissistic disorders
- Amaqela enkxaso kubazali abalahlwayo
- Amagqwetha osapho anamava kulo mmandla
Khumbula ukuba, ufanele ube nobudlelwane obuhle nabantwana bakho. Ngomonde, inkalipho nenkxaso efanelekileyo, kunokwenzeka ukoyisa ukuhlukana kwabazali nokwakha kwakhona amaqhina omelele entsapho.
I-Bibliographic Reference malunga nokwahlukaniswa kwabazali kwi-narcissistic manipulator
Nazi iimbekiselo ezisixhenxe zebhayibhilografi kumxholo wokwahlukaniswa kwabazali okunxulunyaniswa nobuntu be-narcissistic:
- Garnier, P. (2018). Le harcèlement moral : comprendre pour mieux agir. Paris : Éditions L’Harmattan.
- Fabrice, A. (2019). Le syndrome de l’aliénation parentale : quand un parent manipule l’enfant contre l’autre parent. Paris : Éditions Dunod.
- Salmon, C. (2017). L’aliénation parentale : mythe ou réalité ?. Lyon : Éditions Chronique Sociale.
- Sibilla, J. (2020). Comprendre la manipulation affective : le rôle des personnalités narcissiques. Marseille : Éditions Elytis.
- Lévy, A. (2021). Les enfants en souffrance : conséquences de l’aliénation parentale sur le développement psychologique. Paris : Éditions Erès.
- Brun, F. (2022). Le narcissisme et ses conséquences dans les relations familiales. Bordeaux : Éditions Aquitaine.
- Leroy, C. (2015). Psychologie de la manipulation : comprendre les comportements destructeurs. Toulouse : Éditions InterEditions.
Ezi zimbekiselo kufuneka zikunike isiseko esiluqilima sokuphonononga isihloko sokwahlukaniswa kwabazali kumxholo wobuntu be-narcissistic.
Ukuqukumbela
Ukuqukumbela, ukwahlukana kwabazali, ngakumbi xa kucwangciswa ngumzali onenkohliso, kumele uhlobo olufihlakeleyo lokuxhatshazwa ngokwasengqondweni olunefuthe elimandla kwiintshukumo zosapho. Amaxhoba, ngokufuthi oomama, azifumana ekumlo obuhlungu ongokweemvakalelo wokulondoloza amaqhina aphilileyo nabantwana bawo. Kubalulekile ukuqaphela iindlela ezikhohlisayo ezidlalwayo kunye nokuqonda iziphumo ezibi zale meko ekukhuleni kwabantwana ngokweemvakalelo. Ukwazisa kunye nokufuna inkxaso yobungcali ngamanyathelo ayimfuneko ekoyiseni le ngxaki. Khumbula ukuba awuwedwa kulo mzabalazo kwaye ngenkxaso efanelekileyo, kunokwenzeka ukuba wakhe kwakhona ubudlelwane obuqinileyo nobanelisayo bentsapho. Zinyamekele wena kunye nabantwana bakho, kuba nonke nifanelwe ubomi obungenakulawulwa kwaye nizaliswe luthando.
Ngaba ufuna ukuthetha nomntu oqondayo?
I-Cristina ixhasa amaxhoba e-narcissistic manipulators iminyaka. Isicwangciso sesenzo esibambekayo ukusuka kutshintshiselwano lokuqala. Iseshini yoqeqesho lwevidiyo yomntu ngamnye (iSkype okanye iWhatsApp) — €100 ngeseshoni nganye.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.