Isithukuthezi: Ukuqonda izizathu kunye neziphumo zalo mcimbi

Pha ukuba wedwa ngamava ehlabathi jikelele achaphazela zonke izizukulwana. Nokuba ungqongwe okanye akunjalo, le mvakalelo inokwenzeka nangaliphi na ixesha. Kweli nqaku, siza kuphonononga le nto inzima, izizathu zayo kunye neziphumo zayo ezininzi kubomi babantu. Siza kuphinda sixoxe ngekhonkco elifihlakeleyo phakathi kwesithukuthezi kunye nobudlelwane obuyityhefu, ngakumbi abo banabantu be-narcissistic.

Yintoni isithukuthezi?

Ubulolo bunokuchazwa njengokuziva ungento yanto okanye ukuziva ulikheswa, naphambi kwabanye abantu. Akunjalo nje malunga nokungabikho kobudlelwane bomzimba. Enyanisweni, kunokwenzeka ngokupheleleyo ukuziva le mvakalelo ngaphakathi kobudlelwane okanye kwiqela. Into eyahlula isithukuthezi kukunqongophala konxibelelwano ngokweemvakalelo okanye ngokwasengqondweni nabanye.

Ngokungafaniyo neukubekwa wedwa koluntu, eyimeko yenjongo enokulinganiswa ngokungabikho kobudlelwane okanye ukusebenzisana, isithukuthezi sixhomekeke ngakumbi. Abanye abantu banokuba bodwa ngokwasemzimbeni ngaphandle kokuziva bengamakheswa. Abanye, nangona kunjalo, banokuhlala kuluntu ngelixa beziva beqhawule unxibelelwano olunzulu.

Oonobangela abasisiseko bobulolo

Ubulolo, ngendlela ebuhlungu kakhulu, budla ngokuba ngumphumo wezinto ezininzi ezidibeneyo, nganye inegalelo ekubonakalisweni kwayo.

• Ukuqhawuka kwamaqhina onxibelelwano: Enye yezona zizathu zicacileyo nguukuchithwa kweintanethi zentlaloyemveli. Njengoko uluntu lukhula, iintsapho ziya ziqhekeka ngokwejografi, uluntu lwasekuhlaleni alunantsebenziswano, kwaye unxibelelwano olubonakalayo, nangona lusanda, alusoloko luhlangabezana nesidingounxibelelwano lomntu oluyinyani.
• Ubudlelwane obunetyhefu kunye noBudlelwane beNarcissistic: Enye yeendlela ezifihlakeleyo zesithukuthezi yileyo iphuma kuubudlelwane kunye narcissistic ubuntu. Kobu budlelwane, umntu udla ngokuba Qanipulated, kugxekwa, okanye emotionally invalidated, kudala imvakalelo enzulu yobulolo. Umntu unokuziva elikheswa ngokugqithisileyo nangona kukho iqabane elinochuku, elinganiki nkxaso ngokweemvakalelo okanye ukuqaphela iimfuno zomnye.
• Ubunzima obulindelweyo ekuhlaleni: Ngokunyukayo, uluntu luyixabisa imizekelo yempumelelo enokwahlula abantu ngabanye. Uxinzelelo lokufumana umsebenzi onempumelelo, isangqa sentlalo edlamkileyo, kunye nobudlelwane obugqibeleleyo bentsapho buhlala bukhokelela kwiimvakalelo zokungaphumeleli kwaye loneliness xa ezi ngcamango zingafezekiswanga.
• Itekhnoloji kunye nemidiya yoluntu: Ngokumangalisayo, kwihlabathi eliqhagamshelwe kakhulu, iinethiwekhi zentlalo zinokubukhulisa ubulolo. Amaqonga eendaba ezentlalo, nangona akuvumela ukuba uhlale unxibelelana nabahlobo okanye abantu obaqhelileyo, bahlala bekhuthazaubudlelwane obuphezulu, apho umntu eziva enqanyulwe ngakumbi nangakumbi kwizinto eziyinyani.

Iziphumo zengqondo nezomzimba zobulolo

Ubulolo buneziphumo ezibalulekileyo kwimpilo yengqondo neyomzimba yabantu. Ayingomthwalo weemvakalelo kuphela, kodwa ikwaneempembelelo ezinzulu kwintlalontle ngokubanzi.

• Impembelelo kwimpilo yengqondo : Ukuziva ulilolo kudla ngokunxulunyaniswa nokudakumba, anxiety nokuba nengqondo ephantsi. Ukuba likheswa ngokweemvakalelo kubangela umjikelo ombi apho umntu, eziva engaqondwa kakuhle okanye engafunwayo, azikhethe ngakumbi, nto leyo eyenza ngakumbi iimvakalelo zakhe zobulolo. Kwezinye iimeko, kunokukhokelela kwiziphazamiso ezinzulu ezinjengoxinzelelo lwezonyango.
• Impembelelo kwimpilo yomzimba : Uphononongo oluninzi lubonise ukuba isithukuthezi esihlala ixesha elide sinokuba neziphumo ezibi kwimpilo yomzimba, kubandakanywa nokunyusa imingcipheko yesifo sentliziyo, uxinzelelo lwegazi kunye nokuphazamiseka kokulala. Ubulolo obungapheliyo bukwawenza buthathaka inkqubo yomzimba yokuzikhusela, nto leyo eyenza abantu babe sesichengeni sosulelo kunye nezigulo ezinganyangekiyo.

Ubulolo kunye nobudlelwane be-narcissistic

Enye yezona nkalo zikhathazayo zesithukuthezi likhonkco labo nobudlelwane obuyityhefu, ngakumbi nabantu abane-narcissistic. Amaxhoba olu lwalamano adla ngokuziva ekwahlukanisiwe, kungekhona ngenxa yokuba engenalo unxibelelwano loluntu, kodwa ngenxa yokuba iimfuno zawo zeemvakalelo azizange zihoywe.

I-Narcissists, eneneni, idla ngokukhohlisa amaqabane abo ukuba akholelwe ukuba iimvakalelo zabo okanye iimbono zabo zibaxekile okanye ziphosakele, into eyaziwa ngokuba yi-gaslighting. Olu hlobo lokuxhaphaza ngokwasengqondweni lushiya ixhoba lidangele, lididekile kwaye ngaphezu kwayo yonke loo nto lilodwa kwilizwe labo leemvakalelo. Ukongezelela, olu lwalamano luhlala luphawulwa ngokungasebenzi ngokweemvakalelo, apho iimfuno neemvakalelo zexhoba zihlala zincitshiswa okanye zingahoywa.

I-paradox yobulolo kubudlelwane be-narcissistic

Kwakhona kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuba isithukuthezi sinokubakho phakathi kobudlelwane ngokwawo. Njengoko kukhankanyiwe ngaphambili, ukuba kubudlelwane nomntu onama-narcissistic akuthethi ukuba uqhagamshelwe ngokwenene. Olu dlelwane luhlala luphawulwa ngokungalingani ngokweemvakalelo, apho elinye iqabane lihlala lifuna ingqalelo kunye nokuqinisekiswa, ngelixa elinye lizifumana lijongene nemvakalelo ekhulayo yokuzahlula.

Ke, naxa umntu ekunye nomnye ngokwasemzimbeni, i-narcissism ithintela naluphi na unxibelelwano lokwenyani lweemvakalelo, ishiya umntu eziva yedwa kwaye engaqondwa kakuhle.

Ukubaluleka kokuqaphela nokuqonda isithukuthezi kubudlelwane obuyityhefu

Ukuqaphela ubulolo linyathelo lokuqala ekuqondeni ngcono wena kunye neemfuno zakho. Obu bulolo bunokuba yimpembelelo enamandla emva kwezigqibo ezingenangqondo, ezifana nokubuyela kubudlelwane obuyityhefu. Kodwa isenokuba lithuba lokukhula nokufunda ukuzithanda ngaphandle kokuxhomekeka kwabanye.

Ubulolo abunakuphepheka. Ngokusebenza kwakhe amanxeba ngokweemvakalelo kwaye ngokufunda ukuxabisa amaxesha ethu sodwa, singayiguqula le mvakalelo yokungabi nanto ibengumzuzu wokucinga kunye nokuhlaziya. Abantu abaninzi bafumana ukuphiliswa ngokwamkela isithukuthezi sabo kwaye basebenzise ukugxila kubo.

Ukuqukumbela

Pha ukuba wedwa yimvakalelo entsonkothileyo enokuthi ichaphazele zonke iinkalo zobomi bethu, ukusuka kubudlelwane bethu ukuya kwimpilo yethu yengqondo kunye nomzimba. Ukuqonda izizathu kunye nemiphumo yayo kubalulekile ukuphepha ukuwela kwiipateni ezitshabalalisayo, ezifana nokubuyela kubudlelwane obuyityhefu. Ekugqibeleni, isithukuthezi, nangona kunzima ukoyisa, sinokuba lithuba lokuphinda uqhagamshelane nawe kwaye uphinde ufumane eyona nto ibalulekileyo.