Yintoni eyenziwa yi-narcissistic manipulator emva kwakho?

I-narcissistic manipulator yi-manipulator ebalaseleyo, ekwazi ukuphila ubomi obumbaxa ngaphandle kokuvusa amathandabuzo. Emva kwe-mask yakhe yokuthakazelisa kunye nengqalelo, uququzelela uchungechunge lwezenzo ezitshabalalisayo emthunzini. Eli nqaku liphakamisa isigqubuthelo kwezi ziphatho zifihliweyo, ezihlala ziyonakalisa kakhulu kunokuba unokucinga.

Ukungcatsha Okuthe cwaka: Xa Ulwalamano Olusondeleyo Luba Sisixhobo

I-manipulator ye-narcissistic emva kwakho ayihloniphi imida. Omnye wemizekelo eyothusayo yokuphindaphinda kwakhe kukuthambekela kwakhe ukophula ubumfihlo bakho obunzulu. Yiba nomfanekiso wakho kwigumbi lakho lokuhlambela, uthatha ishawa, umzuzwana ocinga ukuba ubucala kwaye ukhuselekile. Awazi ukuba ngeli xesha, i-narcissistic manipulator ifota wena ngaphandle kolwazi lwakho.

Oku kunyhashwa kwemfihlo yakho kuhamba ngaphaya kokungena nje okulula. Luhlobo lokuxhatshazwa ngokugqithisileyo kwe-Qoqoqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq, apho awona maxesha akho asemngciphekweni abe zizixhobo ezinokubakho zokunganyaniseki okanye ukukhohlisa kwixesha elizayo.

Umkhosi ongabonakaliyo: Ingaba i-narcissistic manipulator iqokelela njani imipu kuwe?

I-manipulator ye-narcissistic emva kwakho ngumqokeleli onyanzelekileyo wolwazi olulalanisayo. Yonke incoko, umyalezo ngamnye, umzuzu ngamnye osondeleyo unokurekhodwa kwaye ugcinwe. Injongo yakhe? Yakha i-arsenal anokuthi ayisebenzise ngokuchasene nawe xa ixesha lifika.

Obu “bungqina” bunokusetyenziselwa uku:

• Blackmail wena
• Zijongele phantsi abo basondeleyo kuwe
• Lawula imbono yakho yenyani
• Yomeleza ulawulo lwakhe kuwe

Uthungelwano lwamathunzi: Iphulo lokutyabeka ongalikrokreli

Ngelixa ucinga ukuba ubudlelwane bakho bunokuba nzima kodwa bubucala, i-narcissistic manipulator iqhuba iphulo lokwenyani le-denigration ngasemva kwakho. Unxibelelana nabahlobo bakho, usapho lwakho, oogxa bakho, ngamanye amaxesha nabantu ongabaziyo, ukuze akhuphe amathandabuzo ngobukrelekrele bakho, ukuthembeka kwakho okanye ukuziphatha kwakho.

Esi sicwangciso, esibizwa ngokuba yi-“triangulation”, sijolise:

• Lahla ixhoba lakho
• Lungiselela isiseko sobuchule bexesha elizayo
• Ukuzibeka njengexhoba emehlweni abanye

Ubomi obumbaxa: Imaski egqibeleleyo ye-narcissistic manipulator

Ngelixa usokola namathandabuzo akho kunye netyala, uqinisekile ukuba ungumthombo weengxaki kubudlelwane bakho, umxhasi we-narcissistic uhlala ekhokelela kubomi obumbaxa obucwangciswe ngokugqibeleleyo.

Obu bomi bumbini bunokuquka:

• Imicimbi emininzi yangaphandle komtshato
• Ubomi obuchwephesha okanye bentlalontle obahluke ngokupheleleyo kulowo akunika wona
• Imisebenzi engekho mthethweni okanye engafanelekanga

Umahluko phakathi komfanekiso awubonisayo kuwe kunye nobume bakhe bokwenyani udla ngokuba mkhulu kangangokuba ukufunyanwa kwale nyaniso kunokuba buhlungu kakhulu kwixhoba.

I-sabotage ethe cwaka: Ijongela phantsi njani iziseko zakho ngaphandle kokuba uyazi?

I-narcissistic manipulator yinkosi kubugcisa bobuqhetseba obufihlakeleyo. Isebenza emthunzini ukujongela phantsi amathuba akho, ubudlelwane bakho kunye nokuzithemba kwakho.

Imizekelo yokutshatyalaliswa okuqhelekileyo:

• Ukuphazamisa ngobuchule amathuba akho omsebenzi
• Hlukanisa ubuhlobo bakho ngokuhlwayela ukungavisisani
• Ukulawula okusingqongileyo ukwenza ukuba ubuze ukuba nengqondo kwakho (uhlobo lwe-gaslighting).

Ulawulo lwemali olufihliweyo: Ubunzima obungabonakaliyo boqoqosho

Amaxhoba amaninzi awabuqondi ubungakanani bolawulo lwemali olusetyenziswa ngumcebisi we-narcissistic. Ngasemva kwakho, unako:

• Vula ii-akhawunti egameni lakho
• Thatha amatyala usebenzisa ulwazi lwakho
• Urhwaphiliza umvuzo wakho okanye imali oyigcinileyo
• Wonakalise Amathuba akho okuzimela ngokweziMali

Olu lawulo lwemali lujolise kukugcina ukwimeko yokuxhomekeka, ukwenza naliphi na ilinge lokubaleka libe nzima ngakumbi.

Ukukhohlisa abo bakungqongileyo: Umdlalo we-chess wentlalontle we-narcissistic manipulator

I-narcissistic manipulator igqwesile kulawulo lwentlalo. Ngomonde yoluka iwebhu ekungqongileyo, iphembelela ngobuchule indlela abanye abakujonga ngayo.

Amaqhinga ayo anokuquka:

• Zibonise “njengomsindisi” wakho kwabo bakungqongileyo
• Sula amathandabuzo malunga nokuzinza kweemvakalelo zakho
• Yenza umanyano oluyimfihlo nabantu obathandayo
• Ukusebenzisa ukuzithemba kwakho ngokuchasene nawe

Injongo kukudala indawo apho, ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokuthetha, akukho mntu uya kukukholelwa.

Ukulungiselela ukuhlaziswa: Uyilindele njani imvukelo yakho enokwenzeka?

I-narcissistic manipulator ihlala inyathelo elinye phambili. Ulindele ukuba kunokwenzeka ukuba ekugqibeleni ubone ngomdlalo wakhe kwaye ulungiselele umhlaba wokukujongela phantsi.

Iindlela zayo zinokubandakanya:

• Ukudala ubungqina bobuxoki “bokungazinzi” kwakho
• Ukukhohlisa abo basondeleyo kuwe ukuze bathandabuze inguqulelo yakho yezibakala
• Lungiselela ibali apho alixhoba “lokuphambana” kwakho okanye “ubungendawo” bakho.

Ukuxhaphaza ubuthathaka bakho: Idayari eyimfihlo yobuthathaka bakho

I-manipulator ye-narcissistic emva komva wakho ngumbukeli obukhali. Ngengqondo (okanye ngokoqobo) uqaphela ubuthathaka bakho, ngalinye loloyiko lwakho, ngalinye lamanqaku akho abuthathaka. Le “jenali” iba yincwadi yesikhokelo ayisebenzisayo ukukukhohlisa ngokunempumelelo ngakumbi.

Unokusebenzisa olu lwazi:

• Zivuse iingxaki ngokweemvakalelo nanini na
• Akutyhale kwiindlela zokuziphatha anokuthi azisebenzise ngokuchasene nawe
• Yomeleza iimvakalelo zakho zokungakwazi ukusebenza okanye ukungafaneleki.

Ukwakha iNethiwekhi yeNkxaso enetyhefu: Intolongo yakho yeNtlalo engabonakaliyo

Ngelixa usokola ukugcina ingqondo yakho, i-manipulative narcissist isebenza ngokukhutheleyo ukwenza uthungelwano lwenkxaso…eyakhe. Uqesha “flying monkeys“, abantu abathi, bayazi okanye bengazi, babe ngamahlakani akhe ekulawuleni kwakho.

Le nethiwekhi inokuquka:

• Amalungu osapho lwakho ukuba wayekwazi ukutsala
• Abahlobo bakho, ababona kuphela imaski yakhe enomtsalane
• Iingcali (iingcali zonyango, amagqwetha) awayeyazi ukuba ziphathwa njani

Injongo kukudala indawo apho, ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokuvukela okanye ukubaleka, uya kuzifumana uzimele kwaye unqatshelwe.

Isiphelo: Ukukhanya ekupheleni kwetonela

Ukutyhila ubungakanani bezenzo ezifihliweyo ze-narcissistic manipulator kunokuba buhlungu kakhulu. Ukungcatshwa, ukuqhatha, kunye nokwaphulwa kwemfihlo yakho ngamanxeba athatha ixesha ukuba aphole. Nangona kunjalo, olu lwazi lukwalinyathelo lokuqala elisingise enkululekweni.

Khumbula:

• Awunaxanduva ngezenzo zakhe
• Indlela obona ngayo ubunyani ifanelekile
• Kukho izibonelelo kunye neengcali zokukunceda
• Ufanelwe bubomi obungenabuqhetseba kunye nokuxhatshazwa

Indlela eya ekuchacheni inokuba yinde, kodwa inyathelo ngalinye likuthatha ukude kude netyhefu yokubamba i-narcissistic manipulator kwaye isondele kubomi obunelisayo nobunyani.