Ukuziphatha okuzithobayo kwe-narcissistic manipulator: ukuqonda iindlela zayo

Isimo sengqondo sokuzithoba sesinye sezona zixhobo zithandwayo ngumgili we-narcissistic kubudlelwane. Oku kudelela kunye nekratshi kujonge ukuthoba iqabane lakhe kunye nokuseka ulawulo lwakhe ngokwasengqondweni. Ukuqonda ukusebenza koku kuzithoba kunokunceda amaxhoba amabhinqa aqonde ngcono ityhefu eguquguqukayo apho avaleleke khona. Kweli nqaku siza kuphonononga ukuziphatha okuzithobayo kwe-narcissistic manipulator.

Ukuzithoba, esona sixhobo sokugqibela sokukhohlisa

I-manipulative narcissist isebenzisa ukuzithoba njengesixhobo esinamandla sokukhohlisa kunye nokulawula iqabane lakhe. Esi simo sengqondo sokudelela simvumela ukuba:

• Ukuphelisa ukuzithemba kwexhoba
• Yenza ukuba azive ephantsi kuye
• Ukugcina ukungalingani kwamandla kubudlelwane
• Lungiselela ukugxeka kwakho kunye nolawulo olugqithisileyo

Ukuzithoba kuzibonakalisa ngamazwi athoba isidima, ithoni yobuzalwana, inkangeleko yendelelo okanye nokuncwina okunomsindo. I-manipulator ye-narcissistic yenza ukuba iqabane lakhe liqonde ukuba alikwazi, lingenalwazi okanye likhulile emehlweni akhe. Esi simo sengqondo esingaguqukiyo sidala imeko enetyhefu yeemvakalelo apho ixhoba lihlala liziva ligwetywe kwaye lingafanelekanga.

Iingcambu zengqondo zesimo sengqondo sokuzithoba

Isinyanzelo somqhubi we-narcissistic wokuzithoba ufumana imvelaphi kubuthathaka bakhe ngokwasengqondweni:

• Ukuziva uphantsi
• Ukuzithemba kwe- engazinzanga afuna ukuyibuyekeza.
• Isidingo se-pathological sokulawula kunye nokulawula
• Ukungakwazi ukuba novelwano nokuqwalasela abanye njengabalinganayo

Okumangalisayo kukuba, ke kukungakhuseleki kwakhe ukuba umbhexeshi we-narcissistic aqhubele phambili kwiqabane lakhe ngesimo sakhe sengqondo sokudelela. Ngokusoloko imjongela phantsi, izama ukuziqinisekisa ukuba yongamile. Olu tshintsho lwengqondo lunzima luchaza ukuba kutheni ukuziphatha okuzithobayo kwendele nzulu kwaye kunzima ukutshintsha. Umbhexeshi we-narcissistic akakwazi ukububona ubuthathaka bakhe, obumtyhalayo ukuba aqhubekisele phambili lo mjikelo wokuthoba ixabiso lomnye.

Iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokuziphatha okuzithobayo kubudlelwane

Isimo sengqondo sokuzithoba se-narcissistic manipulator sinokuthatha iindlela ezininzi yonke imihla:

Ukuzala kweqabane

I-narcissistic manipulator iphatha iqabane lakhe njengomntwana ongakwaziyo ukwenza izigqibo okanye ukulawula ubomi bakhe yedwa. Usebenzisa ithoni yobutata kunye namabinzana akhuthazayo. Oku kukhula komntwana kunokuzibonakalisa kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo njengokhetho lwempahla, ulawulo lohlahlo lwabiwo-mali okanye izigqibo zobugcisa. Injongo kukugcina iqabane likwimeko yokuxhomekeka nokungakhuselekanga.

Ukuhla kwexabiso lobukrelekrele

Ubuza imibuzo ngolwazi kunye nobuchule bobukrelekrele beqabane lakhe. Uzenza ingcali kuyo yonke imiba kwaye uyazigculela izimvo zakhe. Oku kuthotywa kwengqondo kunokwandisa kuzo zonke iindawo, kwanabo apho iqabane linobuchule bokwenyani. I-narcissistic manipulator ke ngoko izama ukushukumisa ukuzithemba kwexhoba layo kubuchule bayo bokuqonda.

Ukujongelwa phantsi kwezilangazelelo zomnye

Yonke into evuyisayo okanye enomdla iqabane lakhe ligwetywa njengento engenamsebenzi, isidenge okanye ingafanelekanga umdla. Uzijongela phantsi izinto azithandayo, izinto azithandayo kunye neminqweno yakhe. Oku kungahoywa rhoqo kwiminqweno yeqabane kujolise ekumthinteleni kwimithombo yolwaneliseko lobuqu kunye nokuzaliseka ngaphandle kobudlelwane. Oku komeleza ukubekwa wedwa kunyeukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakaleloyexhoba.

Isimo sengqondo sokuziphatha okuphakamileyo

Umbhexeshi we-narcissistic uzibonakalisa njengomntu ongenakuphikiswa kwaye ugweba kabuhlungu awona manyathelo amancinane eqabane lakhe. Uthatha isimo sokuziphatha kakuhle. Oku kuzibiza ngokuba wongamile ngokokuziphatha kumvumela ukuba athethelele ulawulo lwakhe kunye nokugxeka kwakhe okungapheliyo. Uzenza njengomgcini wesidima, ngelixa ezivumela ukuba aziphathe ngendlela engafanelekanga anciphisa okanye ayikhanyele.

Ukuzithoba ngenkangeleko yomzimba

Uthetha izinto ezininzi ezingathandekiyo malunga nomzimba, isinxibo okanye indlela yokuziphatha yeqabane lakhe, ngelixa ezibonisa njengomzekelo wokuphucula. Oku kugxekwa rhoqo kwenkangeleko kujonge ukujongela phantsi ukuzithemba kwexhoba kwaye kubenze babe sesichengeni sokuphathwa kakubi. I-manipulator ye-narcissistic inokutshintshana phakathi kokuncoma ngokugqithiseleyo kunye nokugxeka okunzima, ukugcina iqabane lakhe kwimeko yokungakhuselekanga ngokusisigxina.

Iinkqubo zengqondo emva kokuziphatha okuzithobayo

Iindlela ezininzi zengqondo zichaza ukuba kutheni isimo sengqondo sokuthobeka somntu okhohlisayo sinempembelelo enjalo kumaxhoba akhe:

Isiprofeto esizizalisekisayo

Ngokuphathwa njengomntu ongenabuchule, ixhoba liphetha lithatha iindlela zokuziphatha eziqinisekisa lo mfanekiso umbi ngokwawo. Le nto yengqondo, eyaziwa njengesiprofeto esizizalisekisayo, iqinisa umjikelezo wokuzithoba. Ixhoba, ngokungazi, lihambelana nolindelo olubi lwe-narcissistic manipulator, olumnika iimbumbulu ezininzi ukuqhubeka nokuziphatha kwakhe okudelelayo.

Imposter syndrome

Ixhoba likhulisa imvakalelo yokungafanelwanga yimpumelelo yalo okanye isikhundla salo ekuhlaleni. Ngokukodwa ngakumbi, impostor syndrome. Uhlala esoyika ukuba “ngaphandle”. Le syndrome ye-imposter ibangelwa ukuzithoba rhoqo kwe-narcissistic manipulator. Kwanaxa bejongene nobungqina obucacileyo bezakhono zabo, ixhoba liyathandabuza kwaye lichaza impumelelo yabo kwithamsanqa okanye izinto zangaphandle.

I-cognitive dissonance

Umsantsa phakathi komfanekiso ongalunganga othunyelwe yi-narcissistic manipulator kunye nenyani yezakhono zexhoba kudala uxinzelelo olubuhlungu lwengqondo. Le cognitive dissonance inokubangela ukuba ixhoba libuze umbono walo wokwenyani. Unokuphelela ekufakeni ngaphakathi izigxeko ze-narcissistic manipulator, nokuba ezi ziphikisana ngokuphandle nezinto azifezileyo zokwenyani.

Ufunde Ukungakwazi Ukuzinceda

Ejongene nokungenakwenzeka kokwanelisa iimfuno ze-narcissistic manipulator, ixhoba liphetha linikezela yonke imizamo kwaye litshone kwi-passivity. Lo mkhwa wokungabi nakuzinceda okufundiweyo ubonakala ngokuba nemvakalelo yokurhoxa nokungakwazi ukutshintsha imeko kabani. Ixhoba liyayeka ukuxhathisa ukuziphatha kakubi, liqinisekile ukuba izenzo zabo aziyi kuba nempembelelo entle.

Ikhonkco phakathi kokuzithoba kunye nezinye iindlela zokuxhatshazwa

Isimo sengqondo sokuzithoba sombhexeshi we-narcissistic yinxalenye yepateni enkulu yokuxhatshazwa ngokwasengqondweni. Ihlala inxulunyaniswa nezinye iindlela zokuziphatha eziyityhefu:

• gaslighting okanye ukuguqulwa kwengqondo
• Izithuko kunye nokuthotywa ngamazwi
• Ukulawula kunye nokucupha ngokugqithisileyo
• Umsindo kunye nokuxhatshazwa
• Ukuziphatha kakubi ngokweemvakalelo

Ukuzithoba kusebenza njengentambo efanayo edibanisa ezi ndlela zahlukeneyo zokuxhatshazwa kunye nokuziqinisa. Ngokomzekelo, gaslighting, okubandakanya ukwenza ixhoba lithandabuze imbono yalo ngobunyani, kudla ngokukhatshwa ngamazwi athobayo malunga nempilo yabo yengqondo okanye inkumbulo. Ngokunjalo, ulawulo olugqithisileyo luthetheleleka kwisimo sengqondo sokuzithoba kubuchule bexhoba bokulawula ubomi balo ngokuzimeleyo.

Ukuzivelela kokuziphatha okuzithobayo kwe-narcissistic manipulator ngexesha lobudlelwane.

Isimo sengqondo sokuzithoba se-narcissistic manipulator sithande ukuba mandundu ekuhambeni kwexesha:

1. Ekuqaleni kobudlelwane, bubuqili kwaye bugqunywe yimpawu zothando. I-narcissistic manipulator inokuba nomtsalane kwaye inyameko, ngelixa ityibilika kumazwi athobayo phantsi koburharha okanye ingcebiso enenkathalo.
2. Iya iqina ngokuthe ngcembe njengoko impembelelo ibamba. Izigxeko ziya zisiba ninzi kwaye zicace ngakumbi. I-manipulator ye-narcissistic iqala ukubuza ngokucacileyo izakhono zomlingani wakhe.
3. Iya icace ngakumbi kwaye ikhohlakele xa ixhoba libanjiwe. Ukuzithoba kubonakaliswa ngokungenakuthintelwa, ngokuqhelekileyo kukhatshwa zizithuko nokuthotywa isidima esidlangalaleni.
4. Ifikelela incopho yayo ngexesha lezigaba zokuthotywa okukhulu. Ezi zigaba zinokutshintshana kunye namaxesha okuphumla, ukudala umjikelo wokuxhatshazwa ngokwasemphefumlweni okudodobalisa ngokunzulu ixhoba.

Oku kunyuka ngokuthe ngcembe kuchaza isizathu sokuba amaxhoba amaninzi aqonde ingxaki emva kwexesha. Ubume obuchubekileyo bokuzithoba, obakha ngokuthe ngcembe, benza kube nzima ukuchonga le ndlela yokuziphatha njengendlela yokuxhatshazwa ngokwasengqondweni.

IiReferensi zokuzijongela phantsi

• Archer, J., & Coyne, S. M. (2005). Uphononongo oluhlanganisiweyo lobundlobongela obungathanga ngqo, obunxulumene noluntu. Ukuphononongwa koBuntu kunye neNtlalo yePsychology, 9 (3), 212-230.
• Cortina, L. M., Magley, V. J., Williams, J. H., & Langhout, R. D. (2001). Ukungazinzi emsebenzini: Izehlo kunye nefuthe. Ijenali ye-Occupational Health Psychology, 6 (1), 64-80.
• Giles, H., & Gasiorek, J. (2011). Iinkqubo zonxibelelwano kwizizukulwana. Kwi-K. W. Schaie & S. L. Willis (Eds.), Incwadi ye-Psychology yokuguga (i-7th ed., iphepha 233-247). I-Academic Press.
• Umvukuzi, K. N., Settles, I. H., Pratt-Hyatt, J. S., & Brady, C. C. (2012). Ukufumana incivility kwimibutho: Iziphumo eziphazamisayo zenkxaso yeemvakalelo kunye nombutho. Ijenali ye-Applied Social Psychology, i-42 (2), i-340-372.
• Vescio, T.K., Gervais, S.J., Snyder, M., & Hoover, A. (2005). Amandla kunye nokudalwa kweemeko ezingqongileyo ezikhuthazayo: Ukuziphatha okusekwe kwi-stereotype kwabanamandla kunye neziphumo zabo ekusebenzeni kwabasetyhini kwiindawo zamadoda. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 88 (4), 658-672.
• Wojciszke, B., & Abele, A. E. (2008). Ubukhulu bobudlelane phezu kwe-arhente kunye nokuguqulwa kwayo kuvavanyo. I-European Journal ye-Social Psychology, i-38 (7), i-1139-1147.

Olu luhlu lubandakanya iinkalo ezahlukeneyo zokuziphatha okuzithobayo, kubandakanywa ukubonakaliswa kwayo kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo zentlalo, iziphumo zayo zengqondo, kunye namandla ahambelana nawo.

Ukuqukumbela

Ukuqukumbela, isimo sengqondo sokuzithoba sesinye sezona zixhobo zifihlakeleyo kunye nezonakalisayo ezisetyenziswa yi-narcissistic manipulator ukuseka ulawulo lwakhe lwengqondo. Iphelisa ukuzithemba kwexhoba, idala ukuzijongela phantsi, kwaye igcina ukungalingani kwamandla kubudlelwane. Iingcambu zengqondo zolu kuziphatha, ezimiliselwe kukungakhuseleki komlahlisi we-narcissistic, zenza le pateni ibe nzima kakhulu ukuyiqhawula.

Ukuqonda iindlela kunye neempembelelo zokuziphatha okuzithobayo kwe-narcissistic manipulator linyathelo elibalulekileyo kumaxhoba abasetyhini abafuna ukuzikhulula kwimpembelelo eyityhefu yeqabane labo. Ngokuqaphela iindlela ezahlukeneyo ezinokuthi le ndlela yokuziphatha ithathe kwaye ichonge iindlela zengqondo emsebenzini, amaxhoba anokuqalisa ukutshabalalisa umfanekiso ombi owenziwe kubo.