Ukuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo: Inkcazo, izizathu kunye neziphumo

THE ukuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo luhlobo oluhlala lujongelwa phantsi kodwa luyonakalisa ngokunzulu lokuxhatshazwa ngokwasengqondweni. Ngokungafaniyo nogonyamelo lwasemzimbeni, alushiyi imiqondiso ebonakalayo, kodwa ngokuthe ngcembe luphelisa ukuzithemba. Kukuziphatha okuphindaphindayo okujoliswe ekulawuleni, ukulawula nokulawula abanye, amaxesha amaninzi kubudlelwane obuyityhefu. Kweli nqaku, siza kuhlolisisa oonobangela, imiphumo, kunye nolwalamano phakathi kokukhathazwa ngokweemvakalelo nezinye iindlela zokuxhaphaza, njengokulayita igesi.

Yintoni ukuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo?

Ukuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo kuchazwa njengothotho lweendlela zokuziphatha ezijolise ekumenzeni buthathaka umntu ngokwasengqondweni. Oku kuquka ukugxekwa okungapheliyo, ukuthotywa isidima esidlangalaleni, ukukhohlisa, kunye nokungabikhoukuzimela ngokweemvakalelo. Injongo ephambili kukulawula omnye umntu ngokunciphisa ukuzithemba kwabo kunye nokuguqula indlela ababona ngayo inyaniso.

Olu hlobo loxhatshazo lunokuba luchubekile kwaye luhamba ngokuthe ngcembe, lusenza kube nzima ukuqondwa. Eneneni, abantu abaxhaphaza abanye ngokweemvakalelo badla ngobuchule ekufihleni izenzo zabo phantsi kweliso lothando okanye inkxalabo. Noko ke, imiphumo ehlala ixesha elide kwixhoba ibuhlungu.

Iimpawu zokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo

Kunokuba nzima ukuqonda iimpawu zokukhathazwa ngokweemvakalelo, ngakumbi xa zingaqondakali. Nazi ezinye iimpawu ezilumkisayo ekufuneka zikulumkise:

1. Constant Criticism: Ukuba uhlala ujongelwa phantsi okanye ugxekwa, nangezenzo ezingenamsebenzi, oku kunokuba luphawu lokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo.
2. Manipulation: Ukuba iqabane lakho likwenza uzive unetyala ngeziganeko ezingelotyala lakho okanye ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba uphenjelelwa ngokweemvakalelo, oku kungabonakalisa ukukhathazwa.
3. Emotional Dependence: Ukuba uziva ungakwazi ukwenza izigqibo ngaphandle kwemvume yomnye umntu okanye ukuba uhlala usoyika ukumphoxa loo mntu, oku kusenokuba luphawu lokuphathwa kakubi ngokweemvakalelo.
4. Ukwahluka ekuhlaleni: Ukuba umntu okunye naye ukwahlukanisa nabahlobo, usapho okanye abanye abantu abangaphandle, kusenokwenzeka ukuba ukhathazwa ngokweemvakalelo.

Oonobangela bokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo

Ukungcungcuthekiswa ngokweemvakalelo kudla ngokuba ngumphumo wezinto ezininzi ezingokwengqondo nezokusingqongileyo. Phakathi kwezona zizathu zixhaphakileyo zezi:

1. Iziphazamiso zobuntu : Abantu abane-narcissistic okanye abaneempawu zentlalo bahlala bebandakanyeka kwizenzo zokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo. Isidingo sabo esithe rhoqo solawulo nolawulo sibatyhalela ekubeni balawule abanye.
2. Imbali yokuphathwa gadalala : Abantu abakhe baxhatshazwa ngokwasemoyeni okanye ngokwasemzimbeni njengoko abantwana banokuphinda le ndlela yokuziphatha kubudlelwane babo babantu abadala.
3. Personal Insecurity : Abaxhaphazi ngokweemvakalelo badla ngokuba ngabantu abangakhuselekanga ngokunzulu abasebenzisa ubuqhophololo ukuze babuyekeze ukungazithembi kwabo.
4. Power dynamics : Kwezinye ubudlelwane, ukungalingani kwamandla (umzekelo, emsebenzini okanye kubudlelwane) kunokukhuthaza ukulawula ukuziphatha, kubandakanywa nokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo.

Imiphumo yokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo

Imiphumo yokukhathazwa ngokweemvakalelo idla ngokuba lixesha elide yaye ichaphazela iinkalo ezininzi zobomi bexhoba. Nazi ezinye zeziphumo eziphambili:

• Ukungazithembi : Amaxhoba okuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo aphela ethandabuza ukuxabiseka kwawo, esoloko egxekwa kwaye ejongelwa phantsi.
• Ukudakumba kunye nokuxhalaba : Uhlaselo lweemvakalelo oluphindaphindiweyo lufaka amaxhoba kwiimeko zonxunguphalo ngokwasengqondweni, oluhlala lunxulunyaniswa noxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo.
• Ukwenza ikheswa ekuhlaleni: Umxhaphazi ngokweemvakalelo uhlala etyhala ixhoba ukuba lizikhwebule kubantu elibathandayo, ngaloo ndlela lidala ukuxhomekeka kuye ngokupheleleyo ngokweemvakalelo.
• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) : Amanye amaxhoba anokuba nePTSD emva kokuphathwa gadalala ixesha elide, ngakumbi ngokweemvakalelo.

Ukuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo kunye nokukhanya kwegesi: ikhonkco elisondeleyo

THE gaslighting luhlobo oluthile lokuxhaphaza ngokwasengqondweni oluyinxalenye yokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo. Eli gama libhekisela kwindlela esetyenziswa ngabachwethezi ukuze bahlwayele amathandabuzo engqondweni yexhoba labo, bebangela ukuba bathandabuze imbono yabo ngenyaniso.

Umzekelo, iqabane linokukhanyela isiganeko esidlulileyo, okanye lixelele ixhoba ukuba akukho mntu uya kumkholelwa xa ethetha ngokuxhatshazwa kwakhe, umzekelo odla ngokubonakala kubudlelwane kunye narcissists. gaslighting kunokukhokelela ekudidekeni kwengqondo kwixhoba, elingasakwaziyo ukwahlula inyani kubuxoki, kwaye ekugqibeleni lithandabuza impilo yabo yengqondo.

Ikhonkco phakathi kokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo kunye nokuxhatshazwa kwe-narcissistic

Enye yeemeko apho ukuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo kuxhaphakile kuku ubudlelwane be-narcissistic. I-narcissist isebenzisa amaqhinga okukhohlisa ukugcina ulawulo phezu komnye, ukunika uthando kwaye emva koko ulurhoxise, ukudala uncamathiselo oluyityhefu oluguqukayo. Ukuxhatshazwa ngokomzwelo, kulo mongo, kuvumela i-narcissist ukuba igcine amandla ngelixa igcina ukubonakala kwesiqhelo kunye nokulinganisela kubudlelwane.

Kobu budlelwane, ukuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo kuba bubukhohlakali ngakumbi kuba lowo umxhaphaziyo uhlala enxiba “imaski” esidlangalaleni, apho abonwa njengomntu onomtsalane, onesisa, kwaye onenkathalo. Noko ke, ngasese, usebenzisa ukukhohlisa ukulawula iqabane lakhe, nto leyo emfaka ngakumbi kwimeko yokubhideka nokuba yedwa.

Iziphumo zexesha elide zolu xhatshazo

Iziphumo zokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo zidlulela ngaphaya kobudlelwane obuxhaphazayo. Amaxhoba anokubandezeleka iingxaki ezinzulu zengqondo eziqhubekayo nasemva kokuba ubudlelwane buphelile. Phakathi kwezi ziphumo, sifumana:

• Ubunzima bokuseka ubudlelwane obutsha: Ukungabathembi abanye kunye noloyiko lokuphinda uphathwe kakubi kwenza kube nzima ukudala ubudlelwane bokuthembana.
• A ukuziva ungento yanto: Emva kokuba uphantsi kweempembelelo zeemvakalelo zomnye umntu, kunokuba nzima ukuphinda ube nemvo yokuzimela.
• Iingxaki zempilo yenyama: Uxinzelelo olude oluvela kukuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo lusenokubonakala ngendlela yezigulo zomzimba ezinjengokuphazamiseka kokulala, ukuqaqamba kwentloko okanye iingxaki zokugaya ukutya.

Ukuqukumbela

THE ukuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo luhlobo oluthuleyo kodwa olutshabalalisa ngokunzulu, olunokuthi iziphumo zalo zibe mbi njengezo zobundlobongela ngokwasemzimbeni. Izibonakalisa ngokuguqulwa, ukuthotywa kunye nokuzihlukanisa, kwaye inefuthe elihlala njalo kwixhoba. Nangona kudla ngokuba nzima ukuluqonda olu hlobo loxhatshazo, kubalulekile ukuqonda iindlela zalo ukuze kupheliswe. gaslighting, umzekelo, bubuchule obusetyenziswa rhoqo kubudlelwane obuxhaphazayo, okwenza ixhoba libe sesichengeni ngakumbi kwaye libhideke.