I-Narcissistic mother-in-law syndrome

Ukutshata nendoda enomama obonakalisa iimpawu ze-narcissistic kunokuba ngamava azama kakhulu. Ukuba uzifumana ukule meko, yazi ukuba akuwedwa. I-Narcissistic mother-in-law syndrome yinto exhaphakileyo enokuba nemiphumo emibi kubudlelwane bakho kunye nempilo yakho yobuqu. Kweli nqaku, siza kuphonononga iinkalo ezahlukeneyo zesi sifo.

Ukubandakanyeka ngokugqithisileyo emtshatweni wakho: Xa umkhwekazi wakho esiba ngumngeneleli

Olunye lweempawu ezibalaseleyo zika-Narcissistic umama wesibini ongendawo kukuzibandakanya kwakhe kakhulu emtshatweni wakho. Uhlala efuna ukuphazamisa ubudlelwane bakho, ewela ngokukhululekile yonke imida efanelekileyo.

Eyona njongo yakhe kukuthatha indawo yakho ebomini bonyana wakhe. Uziphatha njengomfazi obambeleyo, edala amandla angenampilo kwaye aphazamisayo. Obu budlelwane busondeleyo phakathi kukamama nonyana maxa wambi bunokuphelela kumbulo ngokweemvakalelo, okanye kwanokulalana ngokwasemzimbeni kwiimeko ezithile eziqatha.

Umkhwekazi onama-narcissistic akanakuyimela ingcamango yokuba unyana wakhe unokunikela ingqalelo engakumbi kumfazi wakhe kunaye. Ngoko ke uya kuzama ukulawula ixesha nengqalelo yakhe, de ade ahambe naye ukuya kumatheko olonwabo apho ubuya kuba khona.

Oku kuphazamiseka rhoqo kudala ukungavisisani phakathi kobudlelwane bakho. Umyeni wakho usenokuzibona ephazamisekile phakathi kokunyaniseka kwakhe kunina nokuzinikela kwakhe kuwe. Ekugqibeleni, le meko inokulwenza buthathaka ngokunzulu ulwalamano lwenu lomtshato.

Ukuthanda izinto ezinetyhefu: Xa ukhuphiswano luthabathel’ indawo imvisiswano yentsapho

Esinye isicwangciso-qhinga esisoloko sisetyenziswa ngoomamazala abangabafuniyo kukukhetha. Ngokudala imeko yokhuphiswano olusisigxina, ifuna ukwahlula kunye nokoyisa.

Ukuba unoodadewabo, usenokuzifumana usoloko uthelekisa nabo, uphembelela umona nengqumbo. Kodwa mhlawumbi eyona nto idimazayo yindlela umamazala wakho amthanda ngayo unyana wakhe, kungakhathaliseki ukuba bubuphi ububi bakhe.

Inene, emehlweni kamama okhohlakeleyo, unyana wakhe akanakwenza nto iphosakeleyo. Ukuba kukho ingxaki kubudlelwane bakho, kufuneka ibe lityala lakho. Lo mkhethe ucacileyo unokukwenza uzive ulikheswa kwaye ungaqondwa kakuhle, kwanaphakathi kosapho lwakho.

Ukhetho ludla ngokudlulela kusapho lonke. Umazala wakho akazulibazisa ukusebenzisa amanye amalungu osapho njengeentsinjana zokukuthoba isidima, ingakumbi ukuba ukwenze ibhokhwe yakhe.

Ukulawula kunye nokukhohlisa: Izixhobo ezoyikekayo zikaninazala

Isidingo solawulo luphawu lwe-narcissism. Umkhwekazi one-narcissistic uya kufuna ukusebenzisa ulawulo lwakhe kuyo yonke inkalo yobomi bakho: indlela onxiba ngayo, indlela olihombisa ngayo ikhaya lakho, indlela obakhulisa ngayo abantwana bakho…

Ukuze afikelele usukelo lwakhe, akayi kuthandabuza ukubhenela ekulawuleni iimvakalelo. Ubutyala, emotional blackmail, ukuxhaphaza ukungakhuseleki kwakho: zonke iindlela zilungile ukukugcina phantsi kwedyokhwe yakhe.

Olu xinzelelo luqhubekayo lunokuchaphazela kakhulu ukuzithemba kwakho kunye nokuzimela kwakho. Usenokuzifumana usoloko uzithandabuza izigqibo zakho, ngenxa yokoyika ukucaphukisa umkhwekazi wakho okanye ukungamkelwa.

Ngo-walking on eggshell, usemngciphekweni wokuba nexhala elingapheliyo. Imvakalelo yokungakwazi ukwanelisa umkhwekazi wakho, kungakhathaliseki ukuba wenza ntoni na, inokukhokelela ekudimazekeni okunzulu.

gaslighting kunye nokukhanyela: Xa inyaniso iguquka

gaslighting, okanye ukukhohlisa ngokwasengqondweni, licebo eliqhele ukusetyenziswa ngabantu benarcissistic. Umazala wakho usenokukhanyela izinto azithethileyo okanye azenzileyo, ekwenza uyithandabuze imbono yakho ngobunyani.

Lo mbuzo uhlala uhleli ngeenkumbulo zakho kunye nokuvela kwakho kunokudodobalisa kakhulu. Usenokugqiba uzibuze ukuba ngaba ushiywa ziingqondo.

Imeko iba nzima ngakumbi xa umyeni wakho eyiqhwayela ihambo kanina. Ukuba usoloko esala ukuvuma izenzo zikanina eziyingxaki, usenokuziva ulikheswa ngokupheleleyo yaye ungenakuzinceda.

Oku kukhanyela okudibeneyo kudala ukungalingani kwamandla phakathi kosapho lwakho. Umkhwekazi wakho kunye nomyeni wakho baphethe lonke igunya, ngelixa ilizwi lakho livaliwe ngokucwangcisiweyo. Le ntshukumo inetyhefu inokujongela phantsi ukuzithemba kwakho kunye nokukwazi kwakho ukuthembela kwisigqibo sakho.

Ukuthotywa kwexabiso kunye nokugxekwa: Ukutshatyalaliswa kokuzithemba kwakho

Umkhwekazi onama-narcissistic soze uphoswe lithuba lokukugxeka nokukuthoba. Uhlaselo lwayo lungajolisa:

• Izakhono zakho zokuba ngumama
• Izakhono zakho zokupheka
• Umsebenzi wakho wobugcisa
• Inkangeleko yakho yomzimba
• Ukhetho lwakho lobomi

Olu thotho lokugxeka lunokuba nefuthe elibi kukuzithemba kwakho, kubangele ukuba uthandabuze izakhono zakho kuzo zonke iinkalo zobomi bakho.

Ireferensi yebhayibhili nge “narcissistic mother-in-law syndrome”

Nazi izingqinisiso ezisixhenxe ezinokuthi zibe nomdla kuwe kumxholo othi “i-narcissistic mother-in-law syndrome,” egxininisa kwiimbono zengqondo nezentlalo:

1. Lemoine, C. (2014). La manipulation émotionnelle au sein de la famille : Comprendre et agir face aux comportements narcissiques. Éditions Eyrolles.
2. Schaub, M. (2016). Le narcissisme : Comprendre et surmonter les relations toxiques. Éditions Larousse.
3. Fournier, P. (2015). La belle-mère, miroir de nos frustrations : Dynamiques familiales et conflits d’intérêts. Presses Universitaires de France.
4. Roudinesco, E. (2003). La bataille des sexes : Histoire des relations entre hommes et femmes. Éditions Plon.
5. Bourguignon, J. (2017). Les familles recomposées : entre amour et conflits. Éditions L’Harmattan.
6. Grosjean, A. (2020). Le narcissisme dans la famille : Théories et pratiques cliniques. Éditions Dunod.
7. Cyrulnik, B. (2002). Un merveilleux malheur. Éditions Odile Jacob.

Ukuqukumbela

Ukuqukumbela, ukuhambahamba kubudlelwane bomtshato obungcoliswe ngumkhwekazi othandabuzayo kunokuba ngumngeni omkhulu, odla ngokuba ngumthombo woxinzelelo kunye nokubandezeleka ngokweemvakalelo. Ityhefu eguqukayo eyenzayo, ngokungena emtshatweni kunye nokusebenzisa ulawulo olukhohlisayo, ayinakutshabalalisa kuphela ubudlelwane phakathi kwakho neqabane lakho, kodwa kunye nokuzithemba kwakho. Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ezi ndlela zokuziphatha ukuze ujongane nazo ngcono. Wedwa okanye njengesibini, kunokwenzeka ukufumana izicwangciso zokuseka imida enempilo, ukuqinisa ukuzithemba kwakho kunye nokugcina impilo-ntle yakho. Ngokuzixhobisa ngolwazi kunye nokufuna inkxaso, ungayiguqula le meko ilingayo ibe lithuba lokukhula kobuqu kunye nobudlelwane. Khumbula: ilizwi lakho lifanelwe ukuviwa kwaye lihlonitshwe.