Uloyiko lokulahlwa kwi-narcissistic manipulator: I-paradox yeemvakalelo

I-manipulator ye-narcissistic, ehlala ibonwa njenge-manipulator ebandayo kunye nokubala, eneneni ifihla ubuthathaka obunzulu: uloyiko lokulahlwa. Olu loyiko, lusekelwe kwiipateni zokuncamathela ezintsonkothileyo, lunempembelelo enkulu kwindlela yokuziphatha kunye nobudlelwane bomntu. Ukuqonda oku kuguquguqukayo kubalulekile ekunciphiseni i-pathological narcissism kunye nokuhlola iindlela ezinokubakho zokubuyisela.

Umjikelo woBudlelwane beNarcissistic: Isigqubuthelo sokuba sesichengeni

Ubudlelwane kunye ne-manipulator ye-narcissistic ngokubanzi ilandela ipateni eqikelelwayo: i-devaluation, i-devaluation, ukugatywa, kunye ne-blowback (hoovering). Lo mjikelo unika inkohliso yolawulo olupheleleyo kwicala le-narcissist. Nangona kunjalo, enyanisweni yi-defense mechanism ephuhliswe ngokuchasene noloyiko lwangaphambili: olo lokushiywa.

I-fragility efihliweyo ye-narcissist

Ngokuchaseneyo nenkangeleko, i-narcissistic manipulator isesichengeni sokulahlwa. Obu buthathaka busekelwe kwizimbo zokuncamathela ezingasebenziyo, ezihlala zinexhala, zingalungelelaniswa okanye zithintelwe. Ezi patheni zokuncamathela, ezenziwe ngexesha lobuntwana, zibeka esichengeni amandla e-narcissist ekusekeni amaqhina azinzileyo nakhuselekileyo ngokweemvakalelo.

Uloyiko lwe-narcissist lokushiywa luyindida. Kwelinye icala, woyika ngokunzulu ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo okunokumenza abe sesichengeni. Kwelinye icala, woyika kakhulu ukuba yedwa kwaye akafunwa. Olu ngquzulwano lwangaphakathi luphembelela indlela yakhe yokuziphatha engaqhelekanga nesoloko iphikisana kubudlelwane bakhe.

Iimpendulo ze-narcissist ekushiyweni

Xa iqabane lishiya ubudlelwane be-narcissistic, kubangela uluhlu lweempendulo ezinzulu zeemvakalelo kwi-manipulator ye-narcissistic:

1. Umsindo weNarcissistic: Ukusabela okuqhushumbayo okujolise ekubuyiseleni ulawulo nokohlwaya iqabane “ngokulahlwa”.
2. Ukungakhathali okubonakalayo: Indlela yokukhusela ukukhusela umntu obuthathaka, ngokwenza ngathi ilahleko ayinamsebenzi.
3. Hoovering: Iinzame ezikhohlisayo zokubuyisela iqabane kubudlelwane, ngokuphindaphindiweyo ngezithembiso zokutshintsha okanye izisongelo ezifihlakeleyo.
4. Victimization: Ukuzibonakalisa njengexhoba lokulahlwa ukuvelisa uvelwano kunye nokuphepha uxanduva.
5. Ukuthotywa okugqithisileyo kwexabiso: Ukujongela phantsi ngokugqithisileyo iqabane langaphambili ukugcina ukuzithemba kwabo.

Ezi mpendulo, nangona zahlukile, zabelana ngeenjongo ezifanayo: ukukhusela i-narcissist kwintlungu yeemvakalelo yokulahlwa.

Ingxaki yokulahlwa: Amava okuqala

Ithemba lokwahlula, nokuba lixeshana, linokubangela ingxaki yokwenyani yokulahlwa kwi-manipulator ye-narcissistic. La mava, adla ngokungafaniyo nemeko, atyhila ubunzulu boloyiko lwakhe. I-narcissist inokuthi ke iphazamiseke, ichase, okanye ngokuchaseneyo, ibe nothando olungaqhelekanga kumzamo onzima wokugcina unxibelelwano.

Iingcambu zoloyiko: Iithiyori zokuncamathisela

Uphando lokuncamathela lunika ingqiqo ebalulekileyo kuloyiko lwenarcissist lokulahlwa. Izitayile zokuncamathela ezingasebenziyo ezibonwa kwii-narcissists ezikhohlisayo zihlala zisisiphumo samava okuqala okungahoywa ngokweemvakalelo, ukuphathwa gadalala, okanye ukungangqinelani komzali.

• I-amba i-Attachment ityhala i-narcissist ukuba ihlale isoyika ukulahlwa, ngelixa ifuna ngokumangalisayo ukugcina umgama weemvakalelo.
• Ukuncamathela okungalungelelanisiweyo kudala ukungavisisani okunzulu phakathi kwesidingo sokusondelelana kunye noloyiko lokusondelelana.
• Ukuphepha ukuncamathela kukhokelela i-narcissist ukuba ibaleke kulwalamano olusondeleyo lweemvakalelo ukuze bazikhusele kwiintlungu ezinokubakho zokulahlwa.

Ezi patheni zokuncamathela zingasebenzi ziphembelela umjikelo wokuziphatha okuyityhefu kubudlelwane benarcissist.

Hoovering: Ukubonakaliswa koloyiko lokulahlwa

“hoovering,” umkhwa wokuzama ukubuyisela iqabane langaphambili kubudlelwane, lubonakaliso oluthe ngqo lwe-narcissist yokwesaba ukulahlwa. Nangona isoloko ibonwa njengeqhinga elikhohlisayo, i-hoovering ityhila ukoyikeka okunzulu kwe-narcissist yokulahleka kunye nokuba nesithukuthezi.

Okumangalisayo kukuba, ezinye ii-narcisists zikhetha ukushiya ubudlelwane ngokwabo ukuze zigcine inkohliso yokulawula. Eli qhinga libavumela ukuba bazikhusele kwintlungu yokushiywa ngokukhokela.

Ukoyisa uloyiko lokulahlwa: Umngeni onzima

Ukuphilisa uloyiko lwe-narcissistic manipulator yokulahlwa yinkqubo ende nentsonkothileyo. Ifuna ulwazi olunzulu kunye nomnqweno onyanisekileyo wotshintsho, nto leyo ngelishwa inqabileyo phakathi kwabantu abaphethwe yi-pathological narcissism.

Kwabo bazuze kwizinamathiselo ezinempilo ebuntwaneni, ukoyisa uloyiko lokulahlwa kunokufikelela ngakumbi. Nangona kunjalo, kwi-manipulator ye-narcissistic, oku kufuna umsebenzi onzima wonyango kunye nombuzo osisiseko weepateni zakhe zobudlelwane.

Iindlela zonyango zokunciphisa uloyiko lokulahlwa

1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Ukuchonga nokuguqula indlela yokucinga kunye neendlela zokuziphatha ezinxulumene noloyiko lokulahlwa.
2. Unyango olusekwe kwingqondo: Ukuphuhlisa isakhono sokuqonda imeko yengqondo yomntu kunye neyabanye.
3. Unyango lwe-Schema: Ukunyanga ii-schemas ze-maladaptive zangaphambili ezisisiseko se-narcissism kunye noloyiko lokulahlwa.
4. Uqheliselo lokuzicingela: Ukuphuhlisa ubudlelwane obunenkathalo kunye nawe, ngaloo ndlela ukunciphisa imfuno yokuqinisekiswa kwangaphandle.
5. Mindfulness: Ukufunda indlela yokulawula ukuxhalaba kokulahlwa kwaye uphile kulo mzuzu wangoku.
6. Group therapy okanye couples therapy: Ukusebenza kwizakhono zokusebenzisana kunye novelwano kwindawo ekhuselekileyo.

Indlela yokubuyisela inzima kwaye ifuna ukuzinikela okunzulu. Ibandakanya ukujongana namanxeba anzulu ngokweemvakalelo kunye nokwakha kwakhona isiseko sokuncamathela esikhuselekileyo.

Ireferensi yebhayibhili kumxholo othi “uloyiko lokulahlwa”

Nazi iimbekiselo ezisixhenxe zebhayibhilografi ezijongana nomxholo wokoyika ukulahlwa kwi-narcissistic manipulator:

1. Miller, J. (2008). Le vrai visage du narcissisme : comprendre le pervers narcissique. Éditions Eyrolles.
2. Simeon, D. & Aboujaoude, E. (2001). Narcissism, self-esteem, and the fear of abandonment. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 57(9), 1133-1144.
3. Moulin, J. (2012). La manipulation émotionnelle : le pervers narcissique. Éditions Leduc.
4. Clerc, M. (2016). Pervers narcissiques : comprendre et agir. Éditions de l’Homme.
5. Lévy, M. (2013). La dépendance affective : comment s’en libérer ? Éditions de la Martinière.
6. Goldberg, G. (2006). Le narcissisme : mythe et réalité. Éditions Odile Jacob.
7. Friedman, R. (2010). Les relations toxiques : déjouer le piège du pervers narcissique. Éditions Robert Laffont.

Ezi mbekiselo kufuneka zikunike isiqalo esihle sokuphonononga esi sihloko sinzima.

Isiphelo: Ngokubhekiselele ekuqondeni okunzulu

Uloyiko lokulahlwa kwi-manipulator ye-narcissistic ngundoqo ekuqondeni ubunzima bolu kuphazamiseka kobuntu. Ngokuqaphela obu buthathaka busisiseko, sinokuphuhlisa imbono ene-nuanced ngakumbi kwi-pathological narcissism.

Kubantu abakubudlelwane ne-narcissist, ukuqonda oku kuguquguqukayo kunokunceda ukuhamba ngendlela edidayo ye-narcissist kwaye ihlala iyingozi. Nangona kunjalo, kubalulekile ukugcina imida enempilo kwaye ubeke phambili impilo yakho yeemvakalelo.

Kuma-narcisists ngokwabo, ukuqonda olu loyiko lokulahlwa linyathelo lokuqala elibalulekileyo elikhokelela ekunyangeni. Nangona indlela inzima, ngokuzibophezela ngokunyanisekileyo kunye nenkxaso efanelekileyo yonyango, kunokwenzeka ukuphuhlisa ubudlelwane obunempilo kunye nokuzaliseka ngakumbi.

Ekugqibeleni, ukuqonda ukwesaba ukulahlwa kumxholo we-narcissism kusikhumbuza ubunzima bengqondo yomntu kunye nokubaluleka kovelwano, nangona kukho ukuziphatha okunzima kakhulu.