Ukugqibelela kwi-manipulator ye-narcissistic: Uhlalutyo olunzulu

Kwindawo entsonkothileyo yobudlelwane obuyityhefu, ingqikelelo “yomntu ogqwethekileyo wokugqibelela” ivela njengeyona nto ibalulekileyo kubafazi abangamaxhoba e-narcissistic manipulators ukuba baqonde. Le nto, apho ukugqibelela kuba sisixhobo sokuxhatshazwa kwengqondo, ifanelwe ingqalelo ekhethekileyo. Eli nqaku lijonge ukuphonononga nzulu iindlela zokugqibelela ezigqwethekileyo, imvelaphi yayo, ukubonakaliswa kwayo kunye nefuthe layo kumaxhoba.

Yintoni ukuthanda ukugqibelela okugqwethekileyo?

Ukuthanda ukugqibelela okugqwethekileyo kwahluke ngokucacileyo kwimfezeko esempilweni enokubonwa kubantu abaninzi. Yindlela etenxileyo yokufuna imfezeko, esetyenziswayo kungekhona njengendlela yokuphucula umntu, kodwa njengesixhobo sokulawula nokulawula abanye.

Kumxholo wobudlelwane kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator, imfezeko egqwethekileyo ibonakala ngoku:

• Ukuzingca okungenampilo ngokugqibeleleyo, kusetyenziswe ngokuyintloko kwabanye
• Ukusetyenziswa kwemigangatho engeyonyani njengendlela yoxinzelelo lwengqondo
• Utyekelo lokuhlala ugxeka ngenjongo yokudodobalisa nokujongela phantsi
• Imfuno enyanzelekileyo yokugcina i-facade yokuphakama ngokupheleleyo

Ngokungafaniyo nokufuna imfezeko okwakhayo okunokushukumisela umntu ukuba aphucule aze afikelele usukelo lwakhe, ukuthanda ukugqibelela okugqwethekileyo kuyingozi. Ayijongi ukugqwesa, kodwa kunoko ukuzithoba kunye nokutshatyalaliswa kwengqondo kwenye.

Imvelaphi yokugqibelela kwi-narcissistic manipulator

Ukuqonda ukuthanda ukugqibelela okugqwethekileyo, kubalulekile ukuphonononga iingcambu zayo ngokwasengqondweni. Izinto ezininzi ezinegalelo ekuveleni kolu phawu kwi-manipulator ye-narcissistic:

Ukuzithemba okubuthathaka

Okumangalisayo kukuba, i-narcissistic manipulator, nangona imbonakalo yakhe yokuzithemba ngokugqithiseleyo, iyagula.ubuwenaubuthathaka ngokunzulu. Oku buthathaka kudla ngokubangelwa ngamava abuhlungu obuntwana okanye imekobume yentsapho engasebenzi kakuhle. Ukugqibelela ngoko kuba aindlela yokuzikhusela, indlela yokubuyekeza le mvakalelo yokungafaneleki emkhathazayo.

Ngokufuna imfezeko kwabanye, umbhexeshi we-narcissistic uzama ukwenza umfanekiso wobungangamsha kunye nokungafezeki. Olu qikelelo lumvumela ukuba afihle ukungakhuseleki kwakhe kwaye agcine inkohliso yobungangamsha bakhe.

Isidingo solawulo olugqithisileyo

Ulawulo lusentliziyweni ye-narcissistic manipulative personality. Le mfuno yolawulo inokuba nemvelaphi yayo kumava okuqala okungenamandla okanye isiphithiphithi. I-Perfectionism inika i-narcissistic manipulator indlela yokwenza olu lawulo kwindawo yakhe kunye nabantu abamngqongileyo.

Ngokumisela imilinganiselo engenakufikelelwa, umntu ofuna imfezeko udala imekobume apho anokuhlala egxeka abanye. Oku kumvumela ukuba agcine isikhundla samandla kunye nokongama, ngaloo ndlela eqinisa ingqiqo yakhe yokulawula.

Ulindelo olugqithisileyo lwabazali

Rhoqo, i-manipulative narcissist yakhulela kwindawo yosapho apho imfezeko yayingakhuthazi nje kuphela, kodwa ifuna. Abazali abafuna ukwenza izinto ngendlela egqibeleleyo okanye abazigxeka ngokugqithiseleyo basenokuba baye babethelela oku kuthanda ukufezeka kwasebuncinaneni babo.

Olu lindelo lugqithisileyo lwabazali ludala i-schema yengqondo apho kuphela imfezeko eyamkelekileyo. I-manipulative narcissist, engakwaziyo ukufikelela le migangatho ingekho ngqiqweni ngokwakhe, iprojekthi elindelekileyo kwabanye njengomntu omdala, ngaloo ndlela iqhubekisela phambili umjikelo wokufuna ukugqibelela okuyityhefu.

Ibonakala njani imfezeko ye-narcissistic manipulator?

Ukugqibelela okugqwethekileyo kuzibonakalisa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo kwindlela yokuziphatha yemihla ngemihla ye-narcissist. Ezi zibonakaliso zihlala zifihlakeleyo ekuqaleni kobudlelwane, kodwa zibonakala zicacile kwaye zicinezela ixesha elide.

Iimfuno ezingekho ngqiqweni kwabanye

I-manipulator ye-narcissistic ibeka imigangatho engenakwenzeka kwabo bakufutshane naye, ngakumbi kwiqabane lakhe. Ezi mfuno zinokuchaphazela zonke iinkalo zobomi: inkangeleko yomzimba, ukusebenza kakuhle, imisebenzi yasekhaya, kwanobudlelwane basekuhlaleni.

Umzekelo, usenokufuna ukuba iqabane lakhe lisoloko likhangeleka lingenasiphako, nokuba lisekhaya, okanye ligqwese kumsebenzi walo ngelixa linyamekela ikhaya. Olu lindelo lungekho ngqiqweni ludala uxinzelelo olungagungqiyo nolungenakuqinisekiswa kwixhoba.

Ukugxekwa rhoqo kunye nokuhla kwexabiso

Kumntu othanda ukugqibelela, akukho nto ihlala ilungile ngokwaneleyo. Usoloko efumana impazamo, kwanangezona nkcukacha zincinane. Oku kugxekwa rhoqo kunokunxulumana nemiba engabalulekanga njengokusonga impahla okanye ukubeka izitya.

Injongo yolu xabiso olusisigxina lumbini: ukugcina ixhoba likwimeko yokungakhuseleki kunye nokuthandabuza rhoqo, kunye nokuqinisa imvakalelo yokuphakama kwe-narcissistic manipulator. Ngokusoloko ebonisa “iintsilelo” zomnye, uqinisekisa ukuma kwakhe njengomgwebi owazi konke nongenakusilela.

Umgangatho ophindwe kabini

Umba omangalisayo wokugqibelela okugqwethekileyo ngumgangatho ophindwe kabini osetyenziswa ngu-narcissist. Ngoxa efuna imfezeko epheleleyo kwabanye, uzivumela ukuba abe nelungelo lokwenza iimpazamo yaye ukwala ngokupheleleyo nakuphi na ukugxekwa.

Lo mahluko ucacileyo phakathi koko akufunayo kwabanye noko azivumelayo ukuba akwenze kuluphawu olugqwethekileyo lokulindela imfezeko. Ibonisa ukunqongophala ngokupheleleyo kovelwano kunye nemvakalelo yokuphakama ekhoyo kubuntu be-narcissistic.

I-Facade yokufuna ukugqibelela

I-narcissist ifuna ukuveza umfanekiso ogqibeleleyo wakhe kunye nobomi bakhe, rhoqo ngokuphikisana okucacileyo kunye nenyani. Lo mfanekiso wemfezeko unokubonakala kwindlela aluchaza ngayo ulwalamano, umsebenzi, okanye izinto aziphumezileyo kwihlabathi langaphandle.

Oku kufuna ukubonakala kugqibelele emehlweni abanye kunokukhokelela ekuzifihleni okanye ekuziphatheni okuxokayo. I-narcissistic manipulator inokuhamba ide iqhube iqabane layo ukuze lithathe inxaxheba ekugcineni le nkohliso yemfezeko, ibe yingozi kwingqibelelo kunye nokuphila kakuhle.

Ukufuna ukugqibelela njengesixhobo sokukhohlisa

I-narcissistic manipulator isebenzisa ukugqibelela kwayo njengesixhobo esintsonkothileyo sokukhohlisa ngokwasengqondweni. Olu setyenziso lugqwethekileyo lokugqibelela luyinxalenye yesicwangciso esipheleleyo solawulo kunye nokulawula.

Perfectionist Gaslighting

I-gaslighting, ubuchule bokukhohlisa obujoliswe ekwenzeni ukuba ixhoba lithandabuze imbono yalo yokwenyani, kuthatha uhlobo oluthile kumxholo wokugqwesa ukugqibelela. I-narcissist ihlala ibuza iimbono zexhoba kunye neenkumbulo malunga nokusebenza okanye izenzo zabo.

Ngokomzekelo, usenokukhanyela ukubeka izinto ebekulindeleke ukuba azilindele okanye athi ixhoba aliyigqibanga imisebenzi eliqinisekileyo ukuba liyenzile. Olu hlobo lwe-gaslighting olugqibeleleyo lujolise ekugcineni ixhoba lihlala lihlala lithandabuza kwaye lingakhuselekanga.

Ukuziphatha kakubi ngokweemvakalelo

Umntu ofuna imfezeko ogqwethekileyo wenza ukuba uthando nokwamkelwa kwakhe kuxhomekeke kubuchule bexhoba lakhe bokufikelela imilinganiselo yakhe engenakwenzeka. Le emotional blackmail yenza iqhina eliyityhefu apho ixhoba linqwenela ukufumana imvume yomxhaphazi walo.

Oku kuguquguquka komeleza ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo kwexhoba kwi-narcissistic manipulator, ibenza babe sesichengeni ngakumbi kwezinye iindlela zokukhohlisa kunye nokuphathwa gadalala.

Unxantathu

I-narcissist ihlala ithelekisa ixhoba lakhe nabanye abantu “abagqibeleleyo”, bokwenyani okanye bentelekelelo, ukubaphazamisa. Obu buchule bobunxantathu bujolise ekudaleni imvakalelo yokhuphiswano kunye nokungafaneleki kwixhoba.

Ngokubonisa rhoqo imizekelo yabantu ekucingelwa ukuba “bagqibelele”, umbhexeshi we-narcissistic ugcina ixhoba lakhe likwimeko yokungakhuseleki okusisigxina, esoloko efuna ukuqinisekiswa angenakuze akufumane.

Ikhonkco phakathi kokugqibelela kunye ne-narcissism

Ukugqibelela kunxulunyaniswa ne-pathological narcissism. Olu nxibelelwano luchazwa yimiba emininzi yobuntu be-narcissistic:

Ubukhulu kunye nokufuna ukugqibelela

Umbono we-narcissist wobungangamsha wongeza imfuno yakhe yemfezeko kwaye ngokuphambeneyo. Ukukholelwa ekuphakameni kwakhe kutyhala i-narcissist ukuba ifune ukugqibelela kwabo bamngqongileyo, kuba akukho nto ingaphantsi iya kumfanelekela.

Obu bungangamsha bukwabonakala kukweyiseka kwe-narcissist ukuba nguye kuphela okwaziyo ukugweba into egqibeleleyo okanye engeyiyo. Esi sikhundla somgwebi owongamileyo someleza imvakalelo yakhe yokuba wongamile nokulawula.

Ukungabi naluvelwano

Ukuzicingela ngokugqwethekileyo komntu ofuna imfezeko ngemilinganiselo yakhe kuyamthintela ekubeni angazicingeli iimvakalelo neemfuno zabanye. Oku kungabikho kovelwano luphawu lwe-pathological narcissism.

I-manipulative narcissist ayikwazi ukuqonda okanye ukukhathalela ifuthe leemvakalelo iimfuno zakhe zokugqibelela ezinazo kwabanye. Kuye, kuphela ukuzaliseka kokulindela kwakhe okubalulekileyo, nokuba yintoni na indleko kwabo bamngqongileyo.

Ukoyika ukungaphumeleli

Emva kwesigqubuthelo semfezeko kuhlala kukho uloyiko olukhulu lokusilela kunye nomgwebo. Olu loyiko lusentliziyweni ye-narcissism kwaye lubasa isidingo sokugcina i-facade yemfezeko kuzo zonke iindleko.

I-Perfectionism emva koko iba yindlela yokuzikhusela kolu loyiko lokungaphumeleli. Ngokuqikelela ulindelo olungenakwenzeka kwabanye, i-narcissist iyazikhusela ekungakhuseleki kwayo kwaye iyakuphepha ukujongana nokungafezeki kwayo.

Umahluko phakathi kokufuna ukugqibelela okunempilo nokugqwethekileyo

Kubalulekile ukwahlula ukuthanda ukugqibelela okunempilo ekugqibeleleni okugqwethekileyo, kuba ezi zimbini zinokubonakala zifana kumphezulu kodwa zineempembelelo neziphumo ezahlukileyo.

Inkuthazo yangaphakathi vs

Ukufuna ukugqibelela okusempilweni kuqhutywa ngumnqweno wobuqu wokuphucula nokugqwesa. Ityhala umntu ukuba azigqwese kwaye afezekise iinjongo zakhe. Ngokwahlukileyo koko, ukuthanda ukugqibelela okugqwethekileyo kubangelwa kukufuna ukulawula nokulawula abanye. Ujonge ngaphandle, ebeka imilinganiselo kwabanye kunokuba agxininise ekuziphuculeni kwakhe.

Ukuba bhetyebhetye vs ubungqongqo

Umntu othanda ukugqibelela osempilweni uyakwazi ukulungelelanisa izinto abazilindeleyo ngokusekelwe kwiimeko. Uyaqonda ukuba imfezeko ngokupheleleyo ayinakwenzeka yaye unokukwamkela ukungafezeki njengenxalenye yenkqubo yokufunda nokukhula. Kwelinye icala, umntu ogqwethekileyo othanda ukwenza izinto ngendlela egqibeleleyo, uhlala engaguquki kwiimfuno zakhe. Akakunyamezeli nakuphi na ukutenxa kwimilinganiselo yakhe engekho ngqiqweni kwaye uyala ukulungelelanisa izinto azilindeleyo kwimeko yokwenene.

Ububele vs. ubugwenxa

Ukufuna ukwenza izinto ngendlela egqibeleleyo akufuni kwenzakalisa. Ushukunyiswa ngumnqweno onyanisekileyo wokugqwesa nempumelelo, yena nakwabanye. Kwelinye icala, ukuthanda izinto ngendlela egqwethekileyo kuyingozi ngokwemvelo. Injongo yayo kukuphelisa uzinzo, ukulawula kunye nokuthoba abanye, kusetyenziswa ukufuna imfezeko njengesixhobo sokucinezela ngokwasengqondweni.

Isiphelo: Ziqonde kwaye uzikhusele ekujongeni izinto ezigqwethekileyo

Ukuqonda iindlela zokugqibelela kwi-manipulator ye-narcissistic linyathelo elibalulekileyo kumaxhoba amabhinqa ezi Qobu buziziphatha . Ngokuqaphela iimpawu zokuthanda ukugqibelela okugqwethekileyo, banokuqalisa ukucombulula ubucukubhede obuntsonkothileyo bobuqhetseba kunye nokuxhatshazwa apho babanjwe khona.