Affection disorder: Ukuqonda ukuthanda ngokugqithiseleyo kunye neengozi zako

Ingxaki yothando yinto entsonkothileyo echaphazela ubudlelwane babantu abaninzi. Ihlala ibhidaniswa nothando lokwenyani, olu kuphazamiseka luzibonakalisa kukuziphatha okuthe kratya okunokubonakala kubukhali kwaye kunomdla, kodwa okufihla amandla angalunganga. Kweli nqaku, siza kuphonononga iinkalo ezahlukeneyo zokuphazamiseka kokuthandana, imvelaphi yayo kunye nokubonakaliswa kwayo.

Inkcazo yengxaki yothando

I-Affection disorder ibonakala ngokungakwazi ukuseka nokugcina amaqhina aphilileyo kunye nolungelelwano lweemvakalelo. Abantu abanengxaki yesi sifo badla ngokubhidanisa ukuthanda ngokwenene. Bakhula ngokugqithisileyo kwaye ngokufuthi ukuziphatha okungafanelekanga malunga nento abayithandayo.

Esi siphazamiso sizibonakalisa njengokugxila kakhulu kumntu omnye, kukhatshwa zizijekulo ezinkulu kunye nokubonakaliswa okugqithisileyo kweemvakalelo. Nangona kunjalo, le miboniso ayisekelwanga ekuqondeni ngovelwano komnye, kodwa kwimfuno yobuqu yokuqinisekiswa nokuqwalaselwa.

Ukubonakaliswa kokuphazamiseka kothando

Ingxaki yothando izibonakalisa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo zokuziphatha kunye neemvakalelo.

Ukuthabatheka endaweni yothando

Kwingxaki yothando, ukuthabatheka kudla ngokuthatha indawo yothando lokwenene. Abantu abanale ngxaki babonisa ukuhoywa ngokugqithisileyo nangokuthe rhoqo kwiqabane labo. Banga:

• Ukuthumela imiyalezo engapheliyo
• Yenza izibhengezo ezinkulu zothando
• Lungiselela izijekulo ezimangalisayo nezicacileyo
• Chaza imfuneko eqhubekayo yokuqhagamshelana nabanye

Ezi ziphatha zinokubonakala zithandana ekuqaleni, kodwa zityhila ukungakwazi ukuseka uxhulumaniso lweemvakalelo oluyinyani, olulungelelanisiweyo.

“Ukuthanda ibhombu” njengeqhinga leemvakalelo

“love bombing” yimbonakaliso eqhelekileyo yokuphazamiseka kokuthandana. Le yindlela apho umntu ogqithisa ingqalelo komnye umntu, izipho kunye nemiboniso yothando ngokugqithiseleyo kwaye ngokukhawuleza. Le ndlela ijolise ekudaleni ubudlelwane obunzulu kunye nokuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo kwiqabane.

“love bombing” inokuquka:

• Ukuncoma okugqithisileyo kunye nokuqhubekayo
• Izipho ezithe rhoqo nezingalinganiyo
• Izithembiso ezinkulu nezingaphambi kwexesha ngekamva
• Umnqweno wokuchitha lonke ixesha lakho kunye nomnye

Nangona ezi ndlela zokuziphatha zinokubonakala zikhohlisa, zihlala zifihla amandla olawulo kunye nokukhohlisa.

Izizathu zokuphazamiseka kothando

Izizathu zokuphazamiseka kothando zininzi. Nantsi eminye imizekelo:

Amava obudlelwane obudlulileyo

Ingxaki yothando ihlala ineengcambu zayo kumava obudlelwane obungalunganga obudlulileyo. Ukungaphumeleli ngokweemvakalelo ngexesha lobuntwana okanye ubudlelwane bothando obubuhlungu bunokukhokelela ekuphuhliseni olu hlobo lokuziphatha. Umntu ke ufuna ukuzalisa isithuba ngokweemvakalelo ngobudlelwane obunzulu kodwa obungaphaya.

Imiba yokuzithemba

Ukungazithembi kudla ngokuba ngunobangela wokuphazamiseka. Abantu abanengxaki kuyo bahlala befuna ukuqinisekiswa kunye nokuvunywa kwabanye ukuze bazive bexatyisiwe. Imfuno yabo yokuhoywa nokunconywa ibashukumisela ekubeni bathathe amanyathelo okuziphatha okubaxiweyo.

Iziphazamiso zobuntu

Iziphazamiso ezithile zobuntu, kubandakanywa i-narcissistic personality disorder, inokunxulunyaniswa ne-ADD. Aba bantu banobunzima bokwenza ubudlelwane bokwenyani kwaye basebenzise i-obsession njengendlela yokuzalisekisa iimfuno zabo zeemvakalelo.

Iziphumo zokuphazamiseka kothando

Imiphumo yokuphazamiseka ingaba yinto ebalulekileyo, ingachaphazeli nje ubomi bomntu ngamnye, kodwa kunye nobudlelwane babo kunye nokuphila kakuhle.

Impembelelo kumntu ochaphazelekayo

Ukuphazamiseka kuneziphumo ezibalulekileyo kumntu ogulayo. Unokufumana:

• Ukungazinzi ngokweemvakalelo rhoqo
• Ubunzima bokugcina ubudlelwane obuhlala buhleli
• Ukuziva ungento yanto ngaphakathi
• Ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo kumaqabane kabani

Aba bantu baphila kumjikelo wokuxinezeleka ngokweemvakalelo okulandelwa kukuphoxeka, okunokuchaphazela impilo-ntle yabo yengqondo yexesha elide.

Iziphumo kwiqabane

Iqabane lomntu onengxaki yokuphazamiseka linokufumana iziphumo ezahlukeneyo ezimbi:

• Ukudideka ngokweemvakalelo ngenxa yokuziphatha okungahambelaniyo
• Ukuziva ufuthaniselwe kukuhoywa ngokugqithisileyo
• Ukulahleka kokuzimela kunye nesazisi somntu
• Uxinzelelo kunye nokuxhalaba rhoqo

Ekuhambeni kwexesha, obu budlelwane bunokuba yityhefu kwaye bonzakalise ibhalansi yengqondo yeqabane.

Ikhonkco phakathi kokuphazamiseka kokuthandana kunye nokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo

Ukuphazamiseka kweemvakalelo ngokufuthi kunokukhokelela kwiindlela zokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo. Nangona kungenanjongo, ezi ziphatha zinokuba nemiphumo emibi kwiqabane.

Ukulawulwa ngokweemvakalelo

Abantu abaphethwe sesi sifo banokusebenzisa ukuxhaphaza ngokweemvakalelo ukugcina ulawulo kwiqabane labo. Oku kunokubandakanya:

• Imo ngesiquphe iyatshintsha
• Ukuziphatha kakubi ngokweemvakalelo
• Izoyikiso zokuqhekeka okulandelwa luxolelwaniso olunzulu

Ezi ziphathamandla zidala imeko yokungazinzi ngokweemvakalelo nto leyo enokuba buhlungu kwiqabane.

Ukulawula nokuba nezinto

I-Obsession inokujika ibe yindlela yokulawula kunye nokuziphatha. Umntu onesi sifo unoku:

• Jonga rhoqo imisebenzi yeqabane lakho
• Funa ingqalelo rhoqo kunye nokufumaneka
• Ukusabela ngokugqithisileyo kulo naluphi na uhlobo lokwahlukana

Ezi zimo zengqondo zijongela phantsi inkululeko kunye nokuzimela kweqabane.

Umahluko phakathi kothando olunempilo kunye nokuphazamiseka kokuthandana

Kubalulekile ukuqonda umahluko phakathi kothando olusempilweni kunye nokuphazamiseka kokuthandana. Uthando lokwenyani lubonakaliswa ngolu hlobo:

• Ukuhlonipha ukuzimela geqe
• Unxibelelwano oluvulelekileyo nolunyanisekileyo
• Inkxaso efanayo ekukhuleni komntu
• Isakhono sokulawula iingxabano ngendlela eyakhayo

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuphazamiseka kothando kubonakala ngoku:

• Ukuxhomekeka ngokugqithisileyo ngokweemvakalelo
• Ulindelo olungenangqiqo lweqabane
• Ukungakwazi ukuhlonipha imida yabanye
• Imijikelo yokufezekiswa okulandelwa kukuhla kwexabiso

Impembelelo yokuphazamiseka kothando kubudlelwane bexesha elide

Ulwalamano oluphawulwa kukuphazamiseka kokuthandana kudla ngokuba nzima ukuhlala. Zibonakaliswa ngoku:

• Imijikelo yokuqina elandelwa ngamaxesha okuqhawuka
• Ubunzima bokugcina ukusondelana ngokweemvakalelo okuzinzileyo
• Imiba yokuthembela rhoqo
• Ukungoneliseki okungapheliyo nangona kukho amaxesha othando olunzulu

Ezi ntshukumo zinokukhokelela ekuqhekekeni okuphindaphindiweyo okanye ubudlelwane obuqhubekayo ekubandezelekeni.

Iindlela ezisisiseko zengqondo

Ukuphazamiseka kokuthandana kubandakanya iindlela ezininzi ezinzima zengqondo:

• Intelekelelo kunye nenjongo: Abantu abanengxaki badla ngokuveza iminqweno yabo kunye nolindelo kwiqabane labo. Baye bacingele omnye, bebabona njengesisombululo kuzo zonke iingxaki zabo zeemvakalelo.

• Ukoyika ukulahlwa: UA Uloyiko olunzulu lokulahlwa luhlala lusisiseko sokuziphatha okugqithisileyo. Olu xhala luqhubela abantu kwizenzo ezigqithisileyo zokuqinisekisa ukuba abashiywanga.

• Atachment Ubunzima: Iipatheni zokuncamathela ezikhuselekileyo, eziphuhliswe ngexesha lobuntwana, zinokuba negalelo kuphazamiseko lothando xa umntu emdala.

Ukuqukumbela

I-Affection disorder yinto enzima echaphazela kakhulu ubomi bobudlelwane babantu abahluphekayo kunye namaqabane abo. Nangona ihlala ibhidaniswa nothando olunomdla, eneneni lutshintsho olungenampilo olusekwe kuxinzelelo kunye nokuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo. Ukuqonda le ngxaki kubalulekile ukuchonga ubudlelwane obuyityhefu kunye nokukhuthaza ukusebenzisana okunempilo kunye nokulungelelana ngokweemvakalelo. Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuba uthando lokwenene lwakhiwe phezu kwentlonipho, uvelwano kunye nokukwazi ukugcina ubuntu phakathi kobudlelwane.