Ukukhohlisa okusebenzayo: Ukuqonda impembelelo ye-narcissistic manipulator

Ukukhohlisa ngokweemvakalelo yinyani ebuhlungu abathi abafazi abaninzi abayifumana kubudlelwane babo kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator. Eli nqaku lijolise ekukuncedeni ukuba uchonge iimpawu zokukhohlisa kwaye uqonde iziphumo eziyingozi. Ukuba uziva uvaleleke kubudlelwane obuyityhefu, yazi ukuba awuwedwa kwaye kukho izisombululo zokuphinda ulawule ubomi bakho.

Iimpawu ezixelayo zokulawula iimvakalelo

Ukuphathwa kakubi ngokweemvakalelo kunokwenziwa ngeendlela ezahlukahlukeneyo, ngokufuthi kungabonakali yaye kunzima ukukubona ekuqaleni. Nazi ezinye iimpawu ekufuneka zikulumkise:

1. Ukutshintsha kwemo rhoqo kunye nokungalindelekanga
2. Ukugxekwa rhoqo kunye nokubeka phantsi
3. Ityala lenkqubo
4. Ukuziphatha kakubi ngokweemvakalelo
5. Sick jealousy kunye nokuba nako
6. Ukwahlukaniswa okuqhubelekayo kwabo bakungqongileyo
7. Ukunciphisa iimvakalelo kunye neemvakalelo zakho

Ukuba uqaphela ezininzi zezi ziphatha kwiqabane lakho, unokuba lixhoba lokuphathwa kakubi ngokweemvakalelo.

Ubuchule bobuqhetseba obusetyenziswa ngabenzi be-narcissistic manipulators

Ii-Narcissistic manipulators ziincutshe kubugcisa bokukhohlisa. Basebenzisa iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokugcina ulawulo lwabo kwixhoba labo:

1. Gaslighting: Ukwenza ixhoba lithandabuze imbono yalo ngobunyani
2. Triangulation : Ukusebenzisa umntu wesithathu ukudala umona okanye ukungakhuseleki.
3. I-love ibhombu: Ukugqithisa ixhoba ingqalelo kunye nothando ekuqaleni kobudlelwane
4. Unyango oluthe cwaka: Ukungahoyi ngokupheleleyo ixhoba ukuba abohlwaye
5. Uqikelelo: Ukutyhola ixhoba ngeempazamo zabo okanye ukuziphatha kakubi

Ukuqonda obu buchule kuya kukunceda ukuba uchonge kwaye uxhathise ngokufanelekileyo.

Imvelaphi yokuphathwa kakubi ngokweemvakalelo

I-Affective manipulation yinto entsonkothileyo eneengcambu zayo ezinzulu kwaye zahlukahlukene. Ukuqonda imvelaphi yayo kusivumela ukuba siyiqonde ngcono le ndlela yokuziphatha kwaye sinokuyithintela.

1. Amava obuntwana :
   • Abantu abaye babandezeleka kumonzakalo okanye ukuvinjwa ngokweemvakalelo ngexesha lobuntwana banokukhula ngeendlela ezikhohlisayo njengendlela yokusinda.
   • Ukujonga iimodeli zabazali kusetyenziswa ukukhohlisa kunokwenza le ndlela yokuziphatha ibe yesiqhelo.
2. Izingxaki zobuntu:
   • Iziphazamiso ezithile, ezinje nge-narcissism okanye ubuntu bomda, zinokukhokelela ekuphathweni ngokweemvakalelo.
   • Ezi ngxaki zihlala zinxulunyaniswa namava okuqala okungahoywa okanye ukuxhatshazwa.
3. Ukungakhuseleki kunye nokungazithembi:
   • Ubuqhophololo isenokuba linzame lokubuyisela iimvakalelo ezinzulu zokungafaneleki.
   • Ingasetyenziselwa ukugcina ingqiqo yokulawula kubudlelwane.
4. Izifundo zoluntu:
   • Ubuchule bunokufundwa njengesicwangciso esisebenzayo sokufumana oko umntu akufunayo kwiindawo ezithile.
   • Amajelo eendaba kunye nenkcubeko edumileyo ngamanye amaxesha inokuzukisa okanye iyenze ibe yesiqhelo indlela yokuziphatha ekhohlisayo.
5. Unmet iimfuno zeemvakalelo:
   • UA ukungakwazi ukuchaza ngokusempilweni iimfuno zomntu kunokukhokelela kwiinzame zokuzanelisa ngokukhohlisa.
6. Ukoyika ukulahlwa okanye ukwaliwa:
   • Manipulation ingasetyenziswa njengendlela yokugcina abanye besondele kwaye bexhomekeke.
7. Izinto zeNeurobiological:
   Uphando lwe-
   • Uphando lucebisa ukuba iiyantlukwano ezithile kubume bobuchopho kunye nokusebenza kunokuba negalelo ekuziphatheni okukhohlisayo.
8. Imeko yentlalontle:
   • Ezinye iinkcubeko okanye ii-subcultures zinokuthi ngokungenzi ngabom zikhuthaze ukuziphatha okukhohlisayo njengendlela yokuphumelela impumelelo okanye umgangatho wentlalo.

Ukuqonda le mvelaphi akuthetheleli ukulawulwa ngokweemvakalelo, kodwa kunokunceda ukuphuhlisa uvelwano kunye nokufumana iindlela ezisebenzayo zokungenelela kunye nokusombulula le ngxaki.

Impembelelo yengqondo kunye nemvakalelo yokulawula iimvakalelo

Ukuphathwa kakubi ngokweemvakalelo kunokuba nemiphumo emibi kwimpilo yengqondo nengokweemvakalelo yamaxhoba. Phakathi kweziphumo eziqhelekileyo zezi:

1. Ukuhla kokuzithemba
2. Ukuphulukana nokuzithemba kwakho kunye neembono zomntu
3. Isimo esisisigxina sokuxhalaba
4. Iimpawu zokudakumba
5. Ukuziva ungenakuzinceda nokuphelelwa lithemba
6. Ubunzima bokwenza izigqibo
7. Ukukhula ikheswa ekuhlaleni

Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ezi mpembelelo ukuqonda ukungxamiseka kokuphuma kule meko inetyhefu.

Ukuthintela ubudlelwane obunetyhefu kwixesha elizayo: iimpawu ezilumkiso ekufuneka uzazi

Ukunqanda ukuphinda ubuyele kubudlelwane obuxhaphazayo, kubalulekile ukufunda ukuqaphela iimpawu zokuqala ezilumkisayo:

• Umtsalane ogqithisileyo ukusuka ekuqaleni kobudlelwane
• Iinzame ezichuliweyo kodwa ngokuthe ngcembe zokulawula
• Ukunqongophala kwe-empathy kunye nomdla wokwenyani kwiimfuno zakho
• Ubuxoki, nangeenkcukacha ezingabalulekanga
• Utyekelo lokuzixhaphaza rhoqo
• Ukungakwazi ukuthwala uxanduva ngezenzo zomntu

Ukunikela ingqalelo kule miqondiso kuya kunceda ukukhusela impilo-ntle yakho ngokweemvakalelo kwixesha elizayo.

Iimbekiselo zebhayibhilografi malunga nokulawulwa ngokweemvakalelo

1. Hirigoyen, M.-F. (1998). Le harcèlement moral : La violence perverse au quotidien. Paris : Syros.
2. Salomé, J. (2008). Les mots sont des fenêtres (ou bien ce sont des murs) : Introduction à la communication non violente. Paris : La Découverte.
3. Cyrulnik, B. (2001). Les nourritures affectives. Paris : Odile Jacob.
4. St-Yves, D. (2007). Les manipulateurs sont parmi nous : Qui sont-ils ? Comment s’en protéger ?. Paris : Éditions de l’Homme.
5. Nicolle, S., & Allami, I. (2016). “La manipulation affective dans la communication interpersonnelle : Une approche psycholinguistique”. Revue de Psychologie Sociale, 21(3), 245-266.
6. Rochat, P. (2009). Comment l’enfant devient sociable : Psychologie des relations sociales. Paris : PUF.
7. Lemoine, J.-P. (2010). L’emprise affective : Quand quelqu’un vous veut du bien…. Paris : Albin Michel.

Ukuqukumbela

Ukuxhaphaza ngokweemvakalelo luhlobo lobundlobongela ngokwasengqondweni oluneziphumo ezinzulu nezihlala zihleli. Nangona kunjalo, ngokuzimisela, inkxaso kunye nezixhobo ezifanelekileyo, kunokwenzeka ukuba ukhululeke kuyo kwaye wakhe ubomi obanelisayo. Khumbula ukuba ufanelwe uthando, intlonipho kunye nobubele. Ungaze uvumele nabani na akwenze ukholelwe ngenye indlela. Uhambo lwakho lokubuyela kwimeko yokuchacha lunokuba lude kwaye lubenzima, kodwa inyathelo ngalinye likusondeza kufutshane nokuphila ubomi obukhululekileyo nobunyanisekileyo. Hlala unethemba kwaye ukholelwe ekukwazi kwakho ukoyisa le ngxaki. Unamandla kunokuba ucinga.