Ukukhohlisa okusebenzayo: Ukuqonda umthelela we-PN

Ukuxhaphaza imizwa kuyiqiniso elibuhlungu abantu besifazane abaningi ababhekana nalo ebudlelwaneni babo nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic. Lesi sihloko sihlose ukukusiza ukuthi ubone izimpawu zokukhohlisa futhi uqonde imiphumela yako eyingozi. Uma uzizwa uvaleleke ebudlelwaneni obunobuthi, yazi ukuthi awuwedwa nokuthi zikhona izixazululo zokulawula impilo yakho kabusha.

Izimpawu ze-telltale zokukhohliswa kwemizwa

Ukuxhaphaza imizwelo kungase kwenzeke ngezindlela ezihlukahlukene, ngokuvamile kucashile futhi kunzima ukukubona ekuqaleni. Nazi ezinye izimpawu okufanele zikuxwayise:

1. Ukushintsha kwemizwa kaningi nokungabikezeli
2. Ukugxekwa njalo nokubeka phansi
3. Icala ehlelekile
4. Ukungathembeki ngokomzwelo
5. isikhwele esibi nokuba nempahla
6. Ukuzihlukanisa okuqhubekayo nalabo abaseduze kwakho
7. Ukunciphisa imizwa nemibono yakho

Uma ubona okuningana kwalokhu kuziphatha kumlingani wakho, ungase ube yisisulu sokuxhashazwa ngokomzwelo.

Amasu okukhohlisa asetshenziswa abaphendukezeli be-narcissistic

Ama-Narcissistic perverts angochwepheshe kubuciko bokukhohlisa. Basebenzisa amasu ahlukahlukene ukugcina ukulawula kwabo isisulu sabo:

1. Ukukhanyisa igesi: Yenza isisulu singabaze umbono waso ngeqiniso
2. Unxantathu : Ukusebenzisa umuntu wesithathu ukudala umona noma ukungavikeleki
3. Le thanda amabhomu : Ukuqeda isisulu ngokunaka nothando ekuqaleni kobudlelwano
4. Ukwelashwa buthule: Ungamnaki ngokuphelele isisulu ukuze asijezise
5. Ukuqagela: Ukusola isisulu ngamaphutha abo noma ukuziphatha okungalungile

Ukuqonda lezi zindlela kuzokusiza ukuthi uzibone futhi umelane nazo ngempumelelo.

Umsuka wokuxhaphaza imizwa

Ukukhohlisa okusebenzayo kuyisimo esiyinkimbinkimbi izimpande zayo zingajula futhi zihluke. Ukuqonda imvelaphi yakho kusivumela ukuthi sikuqonde kangcono lokhu kuziphatha futhi sikuvikele.

1. Okuhlangenwe nakho kwasebuntwaneni :
   • Abantu abahlukunyezwe ukuhlukumezeka noma ukuswelakala ngokomzwelo ngesikhathi sobuntwana bangase babe nokuziphatha okukhohlisayo njengendlela yokusinda.
   • Ukubuka amamodeli wabazali usebenzisa ukukhohlisa kungenza lokhu kuziphatha kube kwejwayelekile.
2. Iziyaluyalu zobuntu :
   • Iziyaluyalu ezithile, ezifana ne-narcissism noma ubuntu bomngcele, zingase zibangele ukuxhashazwa ngokomzwelo.
   • Lezi zinkinga zivame ukuhlotshaniswa nesipiliyoni sokuqala sokunganakwa noma ukuhlukumeza.
3. Ukungazethembi kanye nokuzethemba :
   • Ukukhohlisa kungase kube umzamo wokuvala umuzwa ojulile wokungafaneleki.
   • Ingasetshenziselwa ukugcina umuzwa wokulawula ebuhlotsheni.
4. Ukufunda komphakathi :
   • Ukukhohlisa kungafundwa njengesu elisebenzayo lokuthola lokho umuntu akufunayo ezindaweni ezithile.
   • Imidiya nesiko elidumile kwesinye isikhathi lingaqhakambisa noma lenze kube ngokwejwayelekile ukuziphatha okukhohlisayo.
5. Izidingo ezingokomzwelo ezingakwaneliswa :
   • Ukungakwazi ukuveza izidingo zomuntu ngendlela enempilo kungaholela emizamweni yokuzanelisa ngokuzikhohlisa.
6. Ukwesaba ukulahlwa noma ukwaliwa :
   • Ukukhohlisa kungasetshenziswa njengendlela yokugcina abanye beseduze futhi bencikile.
7. Izici ze-Neurobiological :
   • Ucwaningo luphakamisa ukuthi umehluko othile ekwakhiweni nasekusebenzeni kobuchopho kungase kube nomthelela ekuziphatheni okukhohlisayo.
8. Ingqikithi yezenhlalo namasiko :
   • Amanye amasiko noma ama-subculture angase akhuthaze ngokungenhloso ukuziphatha okukhohlisayo njengendlela yokuzuza impumelelo noma isikhundla emphakathini.

Ukuqonda le mvelaphi akukuthetheleli ukuxhashazwa ngokomzwelo, kodwa kungasiza ekuthuthukiseni ukuzwelana nokuthola izindlela ezisebenza kahle kakhulu zokungenelela nokubhekana nale nkinga.

Umthelela ongokwengqondo nengokomzwelo wokuxhashazwa kwemizwelo

Ukuxhashazwa ngokomzwelo kungaba nemiphumela elimazayo empilweni engokwengqondo nengokomzwelo yezisulu. Phakathi kwemiphumela evame kakhulu yilezi:

1. Ukwehla kokuzethemba
2. Ukulahlekelwa ukuzethemba komuntu siqu kanye nemibono yomuntu siqu
3. Isimo sokukhathazeka unomphela
4. Izimpawu zokucindezeleka
5. Umuzwa wokungabi nakuzisiza nokuphelelwa ithemba
6. Ubunzima bokwenza izinqumo
7. Ukukhula ukuhlukaniswa nomphakathi

Kubalulekile ukuqaphela le mithelela ukuqonda ukuphuthuma ukuphuma kulesi simo esinobuthi.

Ukuvimbela ubudlelwano obunobuthi obuzayo: izimpawu eziyisixwayiso okufanele uzazi

Ukuze ugweme ukubuyela ebudlelwaneni obuhlukumezayo, kubalulekile ukufunda ukuqaphela izimpawu zokuqala eziyisixwayiso:

• Ubuhle obudlulele kusukela ekuqaleni kobudlelwano
• Imizamo ecashile kodwa ehamba kancane yokulawula
• Ukuntulauzwela kanye nentshisekelo yangempela ezidingweni zakho
• Amanga, ngisho nangemininingwane engasho lutho
• Ukuthambekela kokuzihlukumeza njalo
• Ukungakwazi ukuziphendulela ngezenzo zomuntu

Ukunaka lezi zimpawu kuzosiza ukuvikela inhlalakahle yakho engokomzwelo esikhathini esizayo.

Izinkomba ze-bibliographic mayelana nokukhohlisa imizwa

1. Hirigoyen, M.-F. (1998). Ukuhlukunyezwa ngokokuziphatha: Ubudlova obuhlanekezelwe nsuku zonke. Paris: Syros.
2. Salome, J. (2008). Amagama angamafasitela (noma ayizindonga): Isingeniso sokuxhumana okungenabudlova. I-Paris: Ukutholwa.
3. Cyrulnik, B. (2001). Ukudla okungokomzwelo. EParis: Odile Jacob.
4. St-Yves, D. (2007). Abazenzisi baphakathi kwethu: Bangobani? Ungazivikela kanjani kukho?. I-Paris: Editions de l’Homme.
5. UNicolle, S., & Allami, I. (2016). “Ukukhohlisa okusebenzayo ekuxhumaneni kwabantu ngabanye: indlela yokusebenza kwengqondo”. Ijenali yeSocial Psychology, 21 (3), 245-266.
6. Rochat, P. (2009). Ingane iba kanjani nokuxhumana nabantu: IPsychology of social relationship. EParis: I-PUF.
7. I-Lemoine, J.-P. (2010). Ithonya elingokomzwelo: Uma othile efuna kahle…. Paris: Albin Michel.

Isiphetho

Ukukhohlisa imizwa kuwuhlobo lodlame olungokwengqondo imiphumela yalo ingaba ejulile futhi ehlala njalo. Nokho, ngokuzimisela, ukusekela nangezinsiza ezifanele, kungenzeka ukugqashula kukho futhi wakhe kabusha ukuphila okwanelisayo. Khumbula ukuthi ufanelwe uthando, inhlonipho kanye nomusa. Ungalokothi uvumele noma ubani akwenze ukholelwe ngenye indlela. Uhambo lwakho lokuthola kabusha lungase lube lude futhi lube nzima, kodwa isinyathelo ngasinye sikusondeza ekuphileni impilo yamahhala neyiqiniso. Hlala unethemba futhi ukholelwe emandleni akho okunqoba lesi silingo. Unamandla kunalokho okucabangayo.