Theukuhlukana kwabazali womuntu ophambukile ozithanda ngokweqile – Ukuhlukaniswa kwabazali kuwuhlobo olucashile lokuhlukumeza ngokwengqondo, ngokuvamile okwenziwa umzali omubi, ononya. Uma ungumama ozizwa evaleleke kulesi simo esinzima, yazi ukuthi awuwedwa. Lesi sihloko sizokusiza ukuthi uqonde lesi simo futhi uthole izindlela zokuphuma kuso.
Kuyini ukuhlukaniswa kwabazali?
Ukuhlukana kwabazali kwenzeka lapho omunye umzali ekhohlisa ingane ukuba yenqabe omunye umzali ngaphandle kwesizathu esizwakalayo. Esimeni sokuhlanekezela kwe-narcissistic, lokhu kukhohlisa kuvame ukucashile futhi kubalwe. Umzali ohlukanisile ufuna ukuqeda isibopho phakathi kwengane nomunye umzali, ngokuvamile ukuze anelise isidingo sabo sokulawula nokubusa. Ukuhlukaniswa kwabazali kuyisenzakalo esiyinkimbinkimbi esivame ukuzibonakalisa kumongo wokuhlukana okungqubuzanayo noma izehlukaniso ezinzima. Ibonakala ngeqoqo lezindlela zokuziphatha namasu abekwe umzali, esimweni sethu umphendukezeli we-narcissistic, ukuze aqhelelene nengane komunye umzali.
Incazelo kanye nezici
Ukuhlukaniswa kwabazali kuchazwa njengenqubo engokwengqondo lapho ingane, ngaphansi kwethonya lomzali ozihlukanisayo (ngokuvamile iphendukezela i-narcissistic), ize ukwenqaba omunye umzali ngendlela engafanele nengalingani. Lokhu kwenqatshwa kuvame ukuhambisana nobutha noma ukwesaba okungenangqondo kumzali okuqondiwe.
UCristina unikeza iseshini yomuntu ngamunye ukukusiza uphume ekulawulweni okuhlukumezayo futhi wakhe impilo yakho kabusha.
Indima ye-narcissistic pervert
Kumongo womzali one-narcissistic one-narcissistic, ukuhlukaniswa kwabazali kuthatha isici esiyingozi kakhulu. Umphendukezeli we-narcissistic, eshukunyiswa isidingo sakhe sokulawula nokuntula kwakhe uzwela, usebenzisa ingane njengethuluzi lokulimaza omunye umzali. Angakwazi:
- Lawula imibono yengane ngobuqili
- Dala indaba engamanga lapho ezethula khona “njengesisulu” futhi omunye umzali “njengomubi”
- Ukusebenzisa ubuthakathaka obungokomzwelo bengane ukuqinisa ukulawula kwayo
Izibonelo zezenzo zokuqhela kwabazali zokuphendukezela ingane enganeni
Nazi ezinye izibonelo zezenzo zokuqhela kwabazali zokuphendukezela ingane enganeni:
Ukuxhaphaza imizwelo
- I-NP ingase ibonise ukudabuka noma ukucindezeleka lapho ingane kufanele ibone omunye umzali, isho izinto ezinjengokuthi, “Ngikukhumbula kakhulu uma ungekho, ngizizwa nginesizungu.” »
- Angase enze umntwana azizwe enecala uma ebonisa uthando komunye umzali: “Ubukeka ujabule ngemva kokubona umama/uyihlo. Awusangithandi kakhulu? »
Ukudala indaba engamanga
- I-NP ingase ikhulume izindaba eziyihaba noma ezingamanga ngomunye umzali: “Uyazi, ngenkathi usewusana, umama/ubaba wakho wayengakaze afune ukukunakekela. Yimina owenza konke. »
- Angakwazi ukuchaza kabusha izinkumbulo zengane: “Uyakhumbula ngenkathi siya epaki? Umama/uyihlo ubengafuni ukuhamba nathi, wancamela ukuhlala yedwa. » Kuvame ukuba uhlobo umkhankaso we-smear we-narcissistic pervert.
Ukucekelwa phansi kobudlelwano
- I-PN ingase “ikhohlwe” ukudlulisela imiyalezo noma izipho ezivela komunye umzali enganeni.
- Angakwazi ukuhlela imisebenzi yokuzibandakanya ngesikhathi sokuvakasha komunye umzali: “Oh, lokho kubi kakhulu ukuthi kufanele uye kumama/ubaba wakho kule mpelasonto, bengihlele ukuya epaki yokuzijabulisa. »
Ukulawulwa kolwazi
- I-PN ingakwazi ukuphazamisa ukuxhumana phakathi kwengane nomunye umzali, ifunda imilayezo noma ilalele izingcingo.
- Angase anikeze ulwazi olungaphelele noma oluhlanekezelwe enganeni mayelana nezinqumo zomkhaya: “Umama/uyihlo akafuni ukuba uye kulesi sikole, kodwa ungakhathazeki, ngilwela wena. » Ukusetshenziswa kwe- ukukhanyisa igesi isetshenziswa kaningi.
Ukuveza amaphutha akho
- I-NP ingase isole omunye umzali ngokuziphatha enecala ngakho: “Umama/uyihlo unobugovu, uzicabangela yena kuphela. »
Ukwakhiwa kombimbi
- I-NP ingase iphathe ingane “njengomuntu omdala” noma “njengesethenjwa,” yabelana ngolwazi olungafanele mayelana nokungqubuzana kwabazali: “Nguwe wedwa ongiqonda ngempela. Kufanele sihlale sibumbene ngokumelene nomama/uyihlo. »
Imivuzo nezijeziso ezicashile
- I-NP ingase iklomelise ingane uma igxeka omunye umzali: “Uqinisile uma uthi umama/uyihlo unephutha. Uhlakaniphe kakhulu futhi uvuthiwe. »
- Angase abonise ukudumala noma akhiphe uthando uma ingane ikhuluma kahle ngomunye umzali.
Ukusebenzisa umntwana njengesithunywa
- I-NP ingase icele ingane ukuthi idlulisele imiyalezo komunye umzali, ngokuvamile icela noma igxeke: “Tshela umama/uyihlo ukuthi kufanele angithumelele imali angikweleta yona. »
Izindlela zokuhlukaniswa kwabazali kwe-narcissistic pervert
Ukuhlukaniswa kwabazali kwenzeka kancane kancane, ngamasu ahlukahlukene:
- Ukwehlisa isithunzi njalo : Umzali ohlukanisile ugxeka ngokuhlelekile futhi amehlise omunye umzali phambi kwengane.
- Ikhawulela abathintwayo : Ifuna ukunciphisa noma ukuvimbela ukusebenzisana phakathi kwengane nomunye umzali.
- Ukususwa komunye umzali: Izama ukusula izinkumbulo ezinhle ingane enazo ngomunye umzali.
- Ukudala ukuncika : Uqinisa isibopho nengane ngokuziveza njengowukuphela komzali “othembekile” nonothando.
Umthelela ku-dynamics yomndeni
Ukuhlukaniswa kwabazali kuphazamisa kakhulu ukulingana komndeni. Kudala isimo sokungezwani nokungathembani, lapho ingane ivame ukuzizwa iphoqeleka ukuba “ikhethe uhlangothi.” Lesi simo singaba nemiphumela yesikhathi eside ekukhuleni kwengane ngokomzwelo nezenhlalo.
Ukuqashelwa kwezomthetho nezenhlalo
Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi ukuhlukaniswa kwabazali, nakuba kuya ngokuya kuqashelwa ochwepheshe bezempilo yengqondo nezinkantolo, kuseyisihloko esiyimpikiswano. Ukuqashelwa nokusekelwa kwayo kuyehluka phakathi kwamazwe nezindawo. Ukuqonda ukuhlukaniswa kwabazali kuyisinyathelo sokuqala sokubhekana nakho. Uma ucabanga ukuthi uyisisulu salolu hlobo lokuziphatha oluvela kumlingani wangaphambili ohlanekezelwe we-narcissistic, ungangabazi ukufuna usizo kochwepheshe abakhethekile.
Izimpawu zokuhlukaniswa kwabazali empendukeni ye-narcissistic
Nazi ezinye izindlela zokuziphatha zomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic owenza ukuhlukaniswa kwabazali:
- Ukwehliswa isithunzi njalo komunye umzali phambi kwengane
- Imizamo yokukhawulela ukuthintana phakathi kwengane nomunye umzali
- Ukusebenzisa ingane njengesithunywa noma inhloli
- Imivuzo enikezwa ingane uma igxeka omunye umzali
Umthelela ezinganeni nasemindenini
Ukuhlukaniswa kwabazali kungaba nemiphumela elimazayo ezinganeni:
- Ukudideka ngokomzwelo
- Ukukhathazeka nokudangala
- Izinkinga zokuzethemba
- Ubunzima ebudlelwaneni obuzayo
Kumama okuhlosiwe, lesi simo singaba buhlungu kakhulu futhi sikhungathekise.
Izinsiza nokwesekwa
Ungangabazi ukufuna usizo ku:
- Abelaphi abangochwepheshe be-narcissistic disorders
- Amaqembu okusekela abazali abahlukanisiwe
- Abameli bomndeni abanolwazi kule ndawo
Khumbula, ufanelwe ukuba nobudlelwano obuhle nezingane zakho. Ngokubekezela, isibindi nokusekela okufanele, ungakwazi ukunqoba ukuhlukana kwabazali nokwakha kabusha izibopho zomkhaya eziqinile.
Ireferensi yebhayibhiliyoni emayelana nokwahlukaniswa kwabazali komphendukezeli we-narcissistic
Nazi izikhombo eziyisikhombisa zebhayibheli endikimbeni yokuhlukaniswa kwabazali okuxhunywe kubantu be-narcissistic:
- Garnier, P. (2018). Ukuhlukunyezwa kokuziphatha: ukuqonda ukwenza kangcono. EParis: Editions L’Harmattan.
- Fabrice, A. (2019). I-Parental alienation syndrome: lapho umzali oyedwa ekhohlisa ingane komunye umzali. Paris: Éditions Dunod.
- U-Salmon, C. (2017). Ukuhlukaniswa kwabazali: inganekwane noma iqiniso?. I-Lyon: I-Éditions Chronique Sociale.
- Sibilla, J. (2020). Qonda i ukuxhashazwa ngokomzwelo : indima yabantu abazithanda ngokweqile. I-Marseille: I-Éditions Elytis.
- ULévy, A. (2021). Izingane ezisezinhlungwini: imiphumela yokuhlukaniswa kwabazali ekukhuleni kwengqondo. I-Paris: Editions Erès.
- UBrown, F. (2022). I-Narcissism nemiphumela yayo ebudlelwaneni bomndeni. Bordeaux: Éditions Aquitaine.
- U-Leroy, C. (2015). I-Psychology of manipulation: ukuqonda ukuziphatha okulimazayo. Toulouse: Éditions InterEditions.
Lezi zithenjwa kufanele zikunikeze isisekelo esiqinile sokuhlola isihloko sokuhlukaniswa kwabazali kumongo wobuntu be-narcissistic.
Isiphetho
Sengiphetha, ukuhlukaniswa kwabazali, ikakhulukazi uma kuhlelwa umzali onesiphithiphithi, kumelela uhlobo olucashile lokuhlukumeza ngokwengqondo oluba nomthelela omkhulu ekushintsheni komndeni. Izisulu, ngokuvamile omama, zizithola zisemzabalazweni obuhlungu ongokomzwelo wokulondoloza izibopho ezinempilo nabantwana bazo. Kubalulekile ukuqaphela izindlela ezikhohlisayo ezidlalwayo futhi siqonde imiphumela edabukisayo yalesi simo ekukhuleni kwemizwelo yezingane. Ukuqwashisa nokufuna ukwesekwa kochwepheshe kuyizinyathelo ezibalulekile ekunqobeni lolu vivinyo. Khumbula ukuthi awuwedwa kulo mzabalazo nokuthi ngokusekelwa okufanele, kungenzeka ukwakha kabusha ubudlelwano bomndeni obuqinile nobanelisayo. Zinakekele wena kanye nezingane zakho, ngoba nonke nifanelwe impilo engenakhohlakala futhi egcwele uthando.
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