Ukuba nobudlelwane nomntu onesithukuthezi ngamava abuhlungu adla ngokushiya amanxeba anzulu ngokweemvakalelo. Kwabasetyhini abaninzi abangamaxhoba alolu hlobo lwe-XQXQUbudlelwane obunetyhefu, umbuzo omnye uhlala uvela: ngaba uthando olubuhlungu? Kweli nqaku, siza kuphonononga lo mba untsokothileyo kwaye sikuncede uqonde ngcono amandla asemva kobu budlelwane butshabalalisayo.
I-Sadism kunye nokungabikho kovelwano: amacala amabini emali enye
Ukuqonda ukuba ingaba umntu onesidima angakwazi na ukuthanda ngokwenene, kubalulekile ukwahlula phakathi kwe-sadism efuna hurt abanye kunye nokungabi naluvelwano. Nangona ezi ngcamango zimbini zihlala zibhidekile, zinomohluko obalulekileyo:
- Ukungabi naluvelwano kubonakala kukungakwazi okanye ukungafuni ukuqonda nokuziva iimvakalelo zabanye. Umntu ongenaluvelwano usenokubonakala engenabubele, engenaluvelwano, okanye engakhathali xa abanye bebandezeleka.
- Kwelinye icala, iSadism ibandakanya uyolo lokwenene olufumaneka ekubandezelekeni kwabanye. Umntu odakumbileyo uzabalazela ukucinezela abanye ukuze aneliseke.
Kumxholo wobudlelwane kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator, le miba mibini inokuhlalisana, okwenza imeko ibe nzima ngakumbi kwaye ibe buhlungu kwixhoba.
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Iingcambu ezinzulu zokuziphatha okubuhlungu kwi-narcissistic manipulator
Ukuqonda ngakumbi umbuzo othi “Ngaba uthando oludabukisayo?”, Kubalulekile ukuphonononga imvelaphi yokuziphatha okubuhlungu kwi-manipulator ye-narcissistic:
- I-UA imfuneko yolawulo olupheleleyo: I-Sadism inokuba lubonakaliso olugqithisileyo lwesidingo solawulo lwe-narcissistic manipulator. Ngokuzisa ukubandezeleka, ubonakalisa amandla akhe phezu komnye.
- Efihliweyo kukuzithemba okuphantsi: Okumangalisayo kukuba, ukuziphatha okulusizi kusenokuba linge lokubuyisela iimvakalelo ezinzulu zokungafaneleki nokungazithembi.
- Un defense mechanism: I-Sadism inokusebenza njengekhaka leemvakalelo, ivumela umgibi we-narcissistic ukuba aphephe ukuba sesichengeni okuyanyaniswa nothando lokwenyani.
- UA ukuveliswa kwakhona kweepatheni ezifundiweyo: Kwezinye iimeko, ukuziphatha okubuhlungu kunokuba ngumphumo wokwenzakala kwangaphambili okanye iipatheni zobudlelwane obungasebenziyo obufakwe ngaphakathi ukususela ebuntwaneni.
Ukukhohlisa ngokweemvakalelo: esona sixhobo sokugqibela somntu okhohlakeleyo we-narcissistic manipulator
Olunye lweempawu eziphazamisayo zokuba kubudlelwane nomntu okhohlakeleyo we-narcissistic kukukwazi kwabo ukulawula iimvakalelo zexhoba labo. Olu lawulo luhlala luthatha uhlobo lomjikelo wobundlobongela obungokwengqondo:
- Isigaba sokulukuhla: Umkhohlisi we-narcissistic ubonakala enomtsalane, enomdla kwaye enomdla, esenza ixhoba lakhe likholelwe ukuba liyakwazi ukuba nothando lokwenyani.
- Inqanaba lokuthotywa: Ngokuthe ngcembe, uqala ukugxeka, ukuthoba nokuthoba iqabane lakhe, ethoba ukuzithemba kwakhe.
- Isigaba sokukhatywa: Unokuhamba ngokugatya ngokupheleleyo ixhoba lakhe, ebathintele kulo lonke unxibelelwano lweemvakalelo.
- Isigaba soXolelwaniso: Ubuyela kwixhoba lakhe ngezithembiso zokutshintsha kunye nemiboniso yothando, ngaloo ndlela ukusetha kwakhona umjikelo.
Lo mjikelo ugqwethekileyo ugcina ixhoba likwimo yokubhideka ngokweemvakalelo, ulenza lithandabuze imbono yalo ngenyaniso nokubaluleka kwalo ngokobuqu.
Ukungakwazi okusisiseko ukuthanda umntu okhohlakeleyo we-narcissistic manipulator
Ngaphandle kweembonakalo ezikhohlisayo ngamanye amaxesha, umntu okhohlakeleyo akanakukwazi ukuthanda ngendlela enempilo neyinyani. Oku kungakwazi kuchazwa zizinto ezininzi:
- Ukungabikho kovelwano: Ngaphandle kokukwazi ukuzibeka kwimeko yomnye kwaye uve iimvakalelo zabo, uthando lokwenene alunakwenzeka.
- Gxila kwisiqu sakho: Umxhaphazi we-narcissistic ugxile kwiimfuno kunye neminqweno yakhe, ukonakalisa ezo zeqabane lakhe.
- Ukwenziwa kwezixhobo zenye: Kuye, ubudlelwane buyindlela yokuphumeza iinjongo zakhe zobuqu, akupheleli nje kubo.
- Ukungakwazi ukuba sesichengeni :Uthando lokwenyani lufuna ukuvuleka ngokweemvakalelo, ii-narcissistic manipulator esengoziniakanakukwazi.
Iimpawu ezixelayo zobudlelwane nomntu okhohlakeleyo we-narcissistic manipulator
Ukuba uyazibuza ukuba ingaba iqabane lakho liyi-narcissistic manipulator ekhohlakeleyo engakwaziyo ukuthanda, nantsi imiqondiso ekufuneka uyibukele:
- Iinguquko zemo ezigqithisileyo nezingalindelekanga
- Isidingo esiqhubekayo sokuhoywa kunye nokuncoma
- Ukungabi novelwano ngokupheleleyo ngokubandezeleka kwakho
- Ukuziphatha okukhohlisayo kunye nokulawula
- Utyekelo lokukubeka phantsi rhoqo kwaye uzigxeke
- Ulonwabo olubonakalayo xa usebunzimeni okanye ubandezelekile
- Ukungakwazi ukuthwala uxanduva ngezenzo zomntu
- Izithembiso zotshintsho zange zifezeke
Zikhulule kubuxhakaxhaka be-narcissistic manipulator elusizi
Ukuqonda ukuba iqabane lakho alikwazi ukuba nothando lokwenene linyathelo elibalulekileyo lokuphiliswa. Nanga amanye amacebiso okukunceda ukuba uhlukane nobudlelwane obuyityhefu:
- Yamkele inyaniso: Vuma ukuba iqabane lakho aliyi kutshintsha kwaye alikwazi ukuba nothando lokwenene.
- Sika iibhulorho: Indlela yodwa yokuzikhusela ngokufuthi kukuqhawula lonke unxibelelwano kunye ne-manipulator ye-narcissistic.
- Zingqonge: Funa inkxaso kwabo ubathandayo, ingcaphephe okanye iqela lenkxaso.
- Sebenzela ukuzithemba kwakho: Yakha kwakhona ukuzithemba kwakho ngonyango, ukucamngca okanye ezinye iindlela zophuhliso lomntu.
- Funda ukuqaphela iimpawu: Zifundise ngeendlela zokuziphatha ze-narcissistic ukuphepha ubudlelwane obuyityhefu kwixesha elizayo.
- Zixolele: Musa ukuzibeka ityala ngento eyenzekileyo. Ube lixhoba le-manipulation.
- Gxila ekunyangeni kwakho: Zinike ixesha kunye nendawo yokuphilisa ngokweemvakalelo.
Ukusingise kwikamva lothando olusempilweni nolwenyani
Emva kokufumana ubudlelwane kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator elusizi, kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuziva ulumkele uthando. Nangona kunjalo, kubalulekile ukuba ungalahli ithemba. Uthando olusempilweni, lokwenyani lukhona, kwaye lukufanele. Nazi izinto ezimbalwa ekufuneka uzikhumbule kubomi bakho bothando bexesha elizayo:
- Thatha ixesha lakho: Musa ukungxamela ukungena kubudlelwane obutsha. Zinike ixesha lokuziphilisa kwaye uzibonakalise kwakhona.
- Seta imida esempilweni: Funda ukuthi hayi kwaye uhlonitshwe iimfuno zakho kunye nexabiso.
- Themba intuition yakho: Ukuba kukho into engabonakali ilungile kubudlelwane, mamela ithuku lakho.
- Zamela ibhalansi: Ubudlelwane obunempilo busekelwe kwintlonipho, unxibelelwano oluvulekileyo kunye nokulingana.
- Qhubeka usebenza kuwe: Uphuhliso lomntu yinkqubo eqhubekayo eya kukunceda ukutsala ubudlelwane obunempilo.
UNgaba uthando oludabukisayo? Ukuqukumbela
Ukuqukumbela, impendulo yombuzo othi “Ngaba umntu othanda usizi?” ngelishwa i-negative xa isiza kwi-narcissistic manipulator. Ukungakwazi kwabo okusisiseko ukuba novelwano kunye nemfuno yolawulo kubathintela ekuthandeni ngeendlela ezinyanisekileyo neziphilileyo. Nangona kunjalo, oku kuqonda, nangona kubuhlungu kangakanani, linyathelo lokuqala elibhekiselele kwimpiliso yakho kunye nenkululeko. Khumbula ukuba ufanelwe uthando lokwenene, olusekelwe kwintlonipho, ukuqondana kunye nenkxaso. Ngokuhamba kwexesha, zisebenzele ngokwakho, kunye nenkxaso efanelekileyo, unokoyisa la mava abuhlungu kwaye uvule intliziyo yakho kumathuba amatsha othando oluphilileyo, olunelisayo.
Ngaba ufuna uncedo lokuphumelela?
Akuyomfuneko ukuba ujamelane nolu vavanyo uwedwa. I-Cristina ikuxhasa ngamanyathelo abambekayo kunye nesicwangciso sesenzo somntu. Iseshini yoqeqesho lwevidiyo yomntu ngamnye (iSkype okanye iWhatsApp) — €100 ngeseshoni nganye.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.