Ingxabano yokunyaniseka kubudlelwane obunobuthi: njani ukuzikhulula kuyo?

Ubudlelwane kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator ihlala ingumthombo wokubandezeleka kunye nokudideka kumaxhoba abo. Obunye ubunzima obukhulu adibana nabo aba bafazi lungquzulwano lokuthembeka olungena ngobuqhophololo. Eli nqaku liphonononga iindlela zale nto inzima kwaye icebisa iindlela zokuzikhulula kuyo.

Ukuqonda Ukungqubuzana koBunyaniseko kuBudlelwane obunobutyhefu

Impixano yokunyaniseka izibonakalisa xa umntu eziva ekrazukile phakathi kokuncamathela kwakhe kwi-manipulator ye-narcissistic kunye nokwazi kwe-toxic behaviour yokugqibela. Le ngxaki yangaphakathi yenza unxunguphalo olunzulu ngokwasemoyeni nasengqondweni.

Kumxholo wobudlelwane kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator, olu ngquzulwano lubukhali ngakumbi. Ixhoba liyaphambana phakathi kweemvakalelo eziphikisanayo: uthando analo (okanye akholelwa ukuba luvakalelwa) ngeqabane lakhe, kunye nokubandezeleka okubangelwa zizenzo zakhe ezikhohlisayo kunye nezonakalisayo.

Iimpawu ezixelayo zongquzulwano lokunyaniseka kumaxhoba abasetyhini

Iimpawu ezininzi zinokubonisa ubukho bengxabano yokunyaniseka:

• Ubunzima bokwenza izigqibo malunga nobudlelwane
• Utyekelo lokunciphisa okanye ukuthethelela ukuziphatha kakubi kweqabane
• Iimvakalelo ezingathandekiyo ezitshintshanayo phakathi kothando kunye resentment
• Ukuhlala unetyala ngokushiya ubudlelwane
• Uloyiko olungenangqiqo lokunganyaniseki ekuceleni uncedo

Ukuba uyaziqaphela kule miqondiso, kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba awuwedwa kule meko enzima.

Iingcambu ezinzulu zoNyaniso kuBudlelwane beNarcissistic

Kubalulekile ukuphonononga iingcambu ezinzulu zongquzulwano lokunyaniseka, ezidlala indima ephambili kulawulo lweemvakalelo:

Impembelelo yengqondo eyenziwa yi-narcissistic manipulator

I-narcissistic manipulator isebenzisa iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokukhohlisa ukugcina ulawulo lwakhe kwixhoba lakhe. Phakathi kwezi, sifumana:

• Uthando lwebhombu: isigaba sokuqala sokuhenda kakhulu
• Ukukhanyisa: ukwenza ixhoba lithandabuze imbono yalo ngobunyani
• triangulation: ukudala iimeko zomona kunye nokhuphiswano
• Imijikelo yobundlobongela elandelwa zizigaba zoxolelwaniso

Ezi zicwangciso zidala ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo kwaye zomeleza impixano yokunyaniseka.

Impembelelo yemeko yentlalo kwabasetyhini

Uluntu lwethu luseneengcamango ezininzi malunga nendima yabasetyhini kubudlelwane. Ezi nkolelo zinokwandisa ingxabano yokunyaniseka:

• Ingcamango yokuba umfazi kufuneka azinikele kwaye ancame impilo yakhe ngobudlelwane bakhe
• Uxinzelelo lwentlalo “ukugcina” ubudlelwane kuzo zonke iindleko
• Ityala labasetyhini abathatha isigqibo sokushiya iqabane labo

Kubalulekile ukuba ucele umngeni kwezi patheni zokucinga ukuze uzikhulule kungquzulwano lokunyaniseka.

Iziphumo ezibi zongquzulwano lokunyaniseka kwimpilo yengqondo

Ukuhlala kwimeko esisigxina yongquzulwano lwangaphakathi kuneziphumo ezibi kakhulu kwibhalansi yengqondo:

• Ukuxhalaba okungapheliyo kunye nokuphazamiseka kwengqondo
• Ukuphulukana nokuzithemba nokuzithemba kwisigwebo somntu
• Ukudinwa ngokweemvakalelo okunokukhokelela ekudinweni
• Ubunzima bokuseka imida enempilo kubudlelwane
• Ukonyuka komngcipheko wokuphuhlisa ingxaki yoxinzelelo lwasemva koxinzelelo

Ukujongana nezi ziphumo zothusayo, kubalulekile ukuba sifunde ukuzikhulula kungquzulwano lokunyaniseka.

Amaqhinga okoyisa impixano yokunyaniseka kunye nokuzimela kwakhona

Ungquzulwano lokunyaniseka kudla ngokuba nzima ukoyisa. Nazi izicwangciso ezinokukunceda:

Phuhlisa ukuzazi kunye nokuzihlola

Inyathelo lokuqala kukuthatha inyathelo umva kwimeko yakho:

• Gcina idayari ukuchaza iingcamango zakho kunye neemvakalelo zakho
• Chonga iinqobo zakho zobuqu kwaye yintoni ebaluleke ngokwenene kuwe
• Jonga amaxesha apho uziva ungquzulwano lokunyaniseka kwaye uhlalutye

Le nkqubo ye-introspection iya kukunceda ukucacisa iimvakalelo zakho kunye neemfuno zangempela.

Yakha kwakhona imbonakalo entle yesiqu sakho

I-narcissistic manipulator mhlawumbi iyitshintshile indlela ozijonga ngayo. Lixesha lokuba uyakhe kwakhona:

• Dwelisa iimpawu zakho kunye nempumelelo, nokuba zincinci kangakanani na.
• Zijikeleze ngabantu abanenkathalo abakuxabisileyo
• Ziqhelise ukuba novelwano ngokuziphatha ngobubele

Kancinci kancinci, uya kuphinda uzithembe kwaye ukwazi ukwenza izigqibo ezifanelekileyo.

Funda ukumisela imida efanelekileyo

Ukuseka imida ecacileyo kubalulekile ukuze uzikhusele:

• Funda ukuthi hayi ngaphandle kokuziva unetyala
• Chonga iimfuno zakho kwaye uzivakalise ngokuqinisekileyo
• Musa ukuthandabuza ukuzihlukanisa ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo xa kuyimfuneko.

Ngokumisela le mida, uphinda ulawule ubomi bakho kwaye unciphise impembelelo ye-narcissistic manipulator.

Funa inkxaso enenkathalo yangaphandle

Ukuphuma kwingxabano yokunyaniseka kudla ngokufuna uncedo lwangaphandle:

• Jonga igcisa elisebenza ngobudlelwane obuyityhefu
• Joyina iqela lenkxaso lamaxhoba e-narcissistic manipulators
• Zityand’ igila kubahlobo okanye kumalungu entsapho owathembayo

Le nkxaso iya kukunceda ukuba uthathe inyathelo umva kwaye uqinisekise iimbono zakho.

I-Bibliographic reference malunga nengxabano yokunyaniseka

Nazi iimbekiselo ezisixhenxe zebhayibhili kumxholo “wongquzulwano lokunyaniseka”:

1. Hirschi, T. (1995). La théorie de l’attachement : une étude sur le conflit de loyauté. Paris : Presses Universitaires de France.
2. Chabrol, H., & Dufour, J. (2009). Conflits de loyauté et dilemmes moraux chez les adolescents. Revue de Psychologie du Développement, 17(2), 185-198.
3. Tavani, J. (2012). La loyauté dans les relations interpersonnelles : enjeux et conflits. Psychologie et société, 5(1), 24-38.
4. Bourguignon, D. (2011). Loyauté et conflits de loyauté dans la dynamique familiale. Journal de Psychologie Clinique, 25(3), 145-159.
5. Lévy, A. (2014). Conflit de loyauté et psychopathologie : une perspective clinique. L’Encéphale, 40(3), 223-229.
6. Mérat, M. (2015). Les conflits de loyauté dans le cadre des relations professionnelles. Revue de Psychologie du Travail, 6(1), 65-78.
7. Brun, J. (2018). La gestion des conflits de loyauté dans les organisations. Cahiers de Psychologie, 32(2), 95-112.

Ezi mbekiselo zisondela kumxholo wokungquzulana kokunyaniseka kwii-engile ezahlukeneyo, ngakumbi ngokwasengqondweni nangokwentlalo.

Isiphelo: indlela eya kwinkululeko yomphefumlo

Ukoyisa ingxabano yokunyaniseka kubudlelwane kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator yinkqubo ethatha ixesha kunye nomonde. Ngokuqaphela iindlela zokusebenza, ukuphuhlisa ukuzithemba kwakho kunye nokuzijikeleza ngenkxaso enenkathalo, unokuzikhulula kule mpembelelo yetyhefu.

Khumbula ukuba ufanelwe ubuhlobo obusekelwe kwintlonipho kunye nothando lokwenene. Ngokoyisa olu ngquzulwano lwangaphakathi, uvula umnyango wobomi obanelisayo ngakumbi, obulungelelaniswe neenqobo zakho kunye neminqweno enzulu.

Khumbula: impilo yakho kunye nolonwabo lwakho luxabisekile. Unelungelo kunye namandla okukhetha ubomi obungenabuqhophololo. Indlela inokubonakala inzima, kodwa inyathelo ngalinye likusondeza kubomi obuzolileyo nobunyanisileyo.