Narcissistic manipulative uyise – Iindlela zokuziphatha eziyityhefu uyise narcissistic manipulative?

Yazi indlela yokujongana notata ukuphazamiseka kobuntu be-narcissistic (TPN) inokukunceda ukuba ugweme iimvakalelo ezimbi ezihlala zivela kulolu hlobo lobudlelwane. Kweli nqaku, siza kuxoxa ngeziphumo utata onobuntu be-narcissistic anokuba nazo kubantwana bakhe, kwaye anike iingcebiso malunga nendlela yokuhamba kunye nokujongana nobudlelwane kwixesha elide.

Umqaphela njani ubawo onenkohliso?

Igama elithi narcissism okanye i-narcissist lisetyenziswa rhoqo namhlanje. Inyaniso kukuba abaninzi bethu babonisa ubuncinane enye (okanye ngamanye amaxesha ngaphezulu) yeempawu eziqhelekileyo ezinxulumene ne-narcissistic personality disorder, kodwa oko akuthethi ukuba sonke siphila kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator.

Njengoko igama libonisa, i-manipulative narcissism sisifo sobuntu, kwaye ukuphazamiseka, ngokwenkcazo, kuphazamisa imisebenzi eqhelekileyo yengqondo kunye nomzimba. Oku kubalulekile ukugcina engqondweni kuba ukuba uyihlo uphethwe yi-NPD, kunokuba luncedo ukukhumbula ukuba ukuziphatha kwakhe kwe-narcissistic, ngelixa kunokuphazamisa kwaye kudideke, ayilokhetho lwakhe.

Imiqondiso yotata PN

Utata ophethwe yi-narcissistic personality disorder angabonisa iimpawu ezininzi, kuquka:

• Indlela egqubayo yokuziphatha okanye iintelekelelo ezinkulu.
• Ukusabela ekugxekweni ngehlazo, umsindo okanye ukuthotywa.
• Isidingo esiqhubekayo sokuqwalaselwa ngokugqithiseleyo
• Imfuneko engekho ngqiqweni yokunconywa nokuxatyiswa
• Umona ngokugqithiseleyo, ukusa kwinqanaba lokuba nomsindo
• Ukubonisa iimpawu zokuzixakekisa ngempumelelo okanye amandla.
• Ukungakhathaleli imida yobuqu yabanye
• Ukuzincoma ukuya kwinqanaba lokuzikhukhumeza
• Ukungabi naluvelwano ngokuphandle kwabanye
• Uluvo lobuxoki lokuba nelungelo.

Ngokuqhelekileyo, abantu abane-narcissistic personality disorder abakhathali kakhulu ngawe. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba bagxile kwizinto onokubenzela zona kunye neyona ndlela ikhawulezayo yokuyenza.

Ngubani utata onenkohliso?

Iimpawu eziqhelekileyo ze-narcissistic kootata ziyi-ego ekhulayo, imfuneko yokuhlala ilungile, kunye nengqiqo engafanelekanga okanye yobuxoki yokufaneleka. Bambalwa kuthi abacinga ukuba oobawo benza yonke into elungileyo ukusikhulisa. Nangona kunjalo, ukukhuliswa nguyise othanda ukuhlambalaza kudlula le mida. Bagxila kakhulu kumfanekiso wabo njengootata kwaye balawula indlela yokuziphatha kunye nezigqibo zabantwana babo kunye namaqabane.

Utata okhohlisayo uyazenzisa ngokugqithisileyo: uchitha ixesha elininzi enyamekela inkangeleko yakhe kunye neyosapho lwakhe. Ufuna ukuncoma kwaye ukhathazeke ngakumbi malunga nombono obonakalayo wemeko kunemeko ngokwayo. Uxakeke kakhulu yimpumelelo: Engqondweni yakhe, uzibona engoyena mntu uphumeleleyo kwigumbi, kwaye ubugxwayiba bakhe obumangalisayo bumenza abe yedwa kubo nabuphi na ubungqina obuphikisana nemibono yakhe.
Akukho Nkxaso ngokweemvakalelo: Ootata abanobuqhophololo abanalo uvelwano oluncinane kwabanye, yaye usenokungakwazi ukuqonda xa umntwana efuna inkxaso yakhe ngokweemvakalelo.

Narcissistic Manipulative Bawo – Ubalawula Njani Abantwana Babo?

Nazi iindlela ezintlanu zokukhohlisa oobawo abazisebenzisayo balawule abantwana babo :

1. I-blackmail ngokweemvakalelo:

Utata we-narcissistic ubonakala esenza isicelo, kodwa eneneni sisicelo. Ukuba uthi hayi, beka imida, okanye ubaxelele ukuba uya kubuya kamva, baya kukubeka uxinzelelo olungakumbi kuwe kwaye bakugrogrise ngeziphumo zokuzama ukukufumana ukuba uvume. Ukuba usala, usenokukohlwaya ngokuqumba, ukuthetha amazwi ahlabayo, ukuba nomsindo, ukubamba into ebalulekileyo, okanye ukugrogrisa ngogonyamelo okanye ukonakaliswa. Le yimpazamo yeemvakalelo.

2.  Ubutyala ngoloyiko, uxanduva kunye netyala:

Iqhelekile into yokuba oobawo abanoburhalarhume basebenzise uloyiko, imbopheleleko, netyala kwaba bantwana ukuze bavuse uhlobo lwetyala oluya kusibangela ukuba sinikezele kwiminqweno yabo, kwanaxa sityeshela iimfuno namalungelo ethu asisiseko.

3. Ityala:

Ootata abasebenzisa i-Narcissistic kunye netyhefu abakhohlisayo bahlazekile okanye bade batyhole abantwana babo ukuba baphinde babajongele phantsi kwaye babajongele phantsi. Oku kusebenza ngokwenene kuba uphando lubonise ukuba xa umntu eziva engafezekanga kwaye enesiphene, bavame ukugoba ngakumbi kwiimfuno zabanye.

4. Unxantathu kunye nothelekiso:

Abazali abangamaNarcissistic bayathanda ukuthelekisa abantwana babo nabanye abantwana bakowenu okanye iintanga zabo ngelizama ukubathoba isidima ngakumbi. Bafuna abantwana babo abalahlwayo balwele ukwamkelwa nokuhoywa kwabo. Kwakhona bafuna ukubenza bazive bephantsi.

Ubudlelwane phakathi kotata okhohlakeleyo kunye nentombi yakhe

Amantombazana anooyise abangabenzi be-narcissistic basoloko bechaza ukuba ootata babo abazange bakwazi ukubanika oko babekufuna ekukhuleni kwabo. Bahlala beziva ngathi ubudlelwane babo abanelisi. Kukwayinto eqhelekileyo ukuba bakhumbule ukuba kufuneka bakhuphisane nabantakwabo ngexesha lobuzali okanye uthando oluvela kuyise wabo onenkani.

Ezinye iintombi ezikhulileyo zithi ubudlelwane obuyityhefu busenempembelelo enkulu kubomi babo. Abaninzi baziva bengakhuselekanga kwaye bahlala bephantsi koxinzelelo lokwenza ngcono, nanjengabadala. Abantu abanengxaki yobuntu benarcissistic badla ngokuthanda ukwenza izinto ngendlela egqibeleleyo, yaye ootata banokwenza abantwana babo abasele bekhulile, ingakumbi iintombi zabo, bazive bengakhuselekanga yaye bengafaneleki, bengakwazi ukufumana uthando yaye bengalufanelanga.

Ukuziphatha kukayise okhohlakeleyo kwintombi yakhe.

Utata okhohlisayo uya kuhlala exhaphaza ngokweemvakalelo, ekhohlisa intombi yakhe ngokuyigxeka okanye ukuyisongela. Unokumsebenzisa njengesixhobo kwimidlalo yakhe okanye amenze azive enoxanduva ngolonwabo lwakhe, kwaye uya kubamba uthando kunye nothando kuye ukuba akafezekisi ulindelo lwakhe. Ngaphandle koko, akayi kuthandabuza ukumtyhila kwi-gaslight ukuba iyamfanela.

Ootata abaninzi abanesithukuthezi nabo bayabaxhaphaza ngokwasenyameni, enoba kukubethwa, ukuqhwatywa, okanye olunye uhlobo logonyamelo. Oku kuqhelekile ukuba yindlela yokubanga amandla kunye nokulawula intombi yakho. Kwaye kaninzi, abantwana abaninzi abahlala notata we-PN, bajika babe Narcissistic manipulative ofikisayo.

Narcissistic Manipulative Father-Iindlela zokuziphatha eziyityhefu neziyingozi kubantwana bakhe?

Ootata abanobuqhophololo badla ngokubangela ukwenzakala ebantwaneni babo. Ngokomzekelo, basenokuyaphula imida, babacinezele abantwana babo ngokungabaniki uthando (de bafeze), baze batyeshele iimfuno zabantwana babo kuba iintswelo zabo ziza kuqala.

Ekubeni umfanekiso ubaluleke kakhulu kuma-narcisists, banokufuna imfezeko kubantwana babo. Umntwana kayise onama-narcissistic usenokuziva ecinezelekile ukuba andise iitalente zakhe, inkangeleko, ubukrelekrele okanye charisma. Kunokuba yingozi gqitha ukuba baphumeze iminqweno kayise yaye kunokuba buhlungu gqitha ukuba bayasilela. Akukho uloyiso lunokwenzeka.

Narcissistic Pervert kunye nosapho lwakhe

I-narcissist inombono we-dichotomous wobuntu: abantu banokuba yimithombo yonikezelo lwe-narcissistic (kwaye, emva koko, i-devalued kunye ne-overvalued), okanye abawufezi lo msebenzi (kwaye, ke, abanaxabiso, bangabi naxabiso). I-narcissist ifumana lonke uthando aludingayo kuye. Ukusuka ngaphandle ufuna ukuvunywa, ukuqinisekiswa, ukunconywa, ukunconywa, ukuhoywa – ngamanye amazwi, imisebenzi yangaphandle yomda we-Ego.

• Akadingi – kwaye akalufuni – uthando lwabazali bakhe, abazalwana noodade bakhe, okanye ukuthandwa ngabantwana bakhe. Ubajonga njengababukeli kwiholo yeqonga yobukhulu bakhe obugqithisileyo.
• Umbhexeshi we-narcissistic ufuna ukubachukumisa, abothuse, abagrogrise, abachukumise, abakhuthaze, bafumane ingqalelo yabo, abangenise okanye abaqhathe.
• Ilinganisa kwaye ilinganisa uluhlu olupheleleyo lweemvakalelo kwaye isebenzisa nayiphi na indlela yokuphumeza ezi ziphumo. Uyaxoka (amaxoki e-pathological – bona ngokwabo bubuxoki).
• I-manipulator ye-narcissistic idlala i-piful okanye, kwelinye icala, i-resistance kunye nethembekileyo. Uyamangalisa kwaye aqaqambe ngobuchule obukhethekileyo bengqondo okanye bomzimba kunye nezinto aziphumezileyo, okanye ngokuziphatha okuxatyisiweyo ngamalungu narcissistic usapho olugqwethekileyo.

Ubuntwana be-Narcissistic Pervert

Ii-manipulators ze-Narcissistic zibonakaliswa ngumfanekiso ongemuhle kubo. Baxokisa abanye kwaye bababeke phantsi ukuze bakhulise ukuzithemba kwabo. Benza ngathi bangcono kunabanye, bafuna ukunconywa, kwaye bayazazi ubuchule babo bokukhohlisa, ngelixa bengenaluvelwano xa bebona abanye bebandezeleka.

Amaxesha amaninzi, ii-narcissistic manipulators ngamadoda. Banokubangela ingozi kwiqabane labo lothando, kodwa inokuba ngumntu osebenza naye, umhlobo, okanye ilungu losapho. Izizathu zolu kuziphatha azizange zichongwe, kodwa izazi zengqondo zikholelwa ukuba umntwana okhuselweyo ngokugqithiseleyo, kunye nokulindela okuphezulu, kungabangela. Kwelinye icala, abaqhubi be-narcissistic nabo banokuthi baxhatshazwe okanye bangahoywa njengabantwana.

Narcissistic Manipulative Bawo – Shiya okanye Hlala?

Ukukhula nomzali onendelelo okanye ukuziva ngathi ungumntwana ongathandwa nako kusenokuba buhlungu. Ukuba ujamelene nale meko, kungokwemvelo ukuziva ubhidekile kwaye uthandabuza malunga nento omawuyenze ngokulandelayo kwaye uzibuze ukuba wenze ntoni ngokuchasene notata okhohlisayo. Kukho iindlela zokujonga ngakumbi imeko, ukuseka imida eyimfuneko, uze wenze isigqibo malunga nendlela yokuqhubela phambili nolu lwalamano.

Isisombululo esisebenza kakuhle kukunciphisa unxibelelwano okanye ukuphelisa ukudibanisa noyise we-narcissistic. Ukuqulunqa isicwangciso kunye nengcali yezempilo yengqondo kunokukunceda ufumane amaqhinga akhuselekileyo.

Kuyanceda kakhulu ukunciphisa unxibelelwano ngokucothayo, kunokuba buhlungu kuni nobabini ukuba ngokukhawuleza niyeke ukuthetha omnye nomnye. Ngaphezu koko, banokuziva belusizi kwaye belahlekelwe ngendlela efanayo nawe.

Usenokungabi nezixhobo zeemvakalelo zokubonisa le ntlungu ngokufanelekileyo, kodwa oko akuthethi ukuba akayiva.

Ireferensi yebhayibhili yokuqonda ukuziphatha kukayise ogqwethekileyo we-narcissistic

Nalu ukhetho lweereferensi zebhayibhilografi kumxholo wootata abakhohlisayo be-narcissistic:

1. Fleming, J. (2013). Le Pervers Narcissique – Éditions de l’Atelier.
2. Marty, P. (2014). Les Pères toxiques : quand le père est un pervers narcissique – Éditions Le Courrier du Livre.
3. Lévy, J. (2017). Psychanalyse et narcissisme – Éditions L’Harmattan.
4. Bouchard, M. (2018). Le Pervers Narcissique et ses victimes : Comprendre pour mieux se défendre – Éditions de la santé.
5. Charpak, G., & Grégoire, L. (2016). La Manipulation affective dans le couple – Éditions Albin Michel.
6. Sargueil, J. (2019). L’Enfant et le Pervers Narcissique : Mieux comprendre pour mieux agir – Éditions L’Esprit du temps.
7. Kahane, S. (2020). Le Narcissisme : un mal insidieux – Éditions Eyrolles.

Ezi ncwadi ziya kukuvumela ukuba uphonononge iimpawu zootata abakhohlisayo kunye neziphumo zabo kubantwana kunye nosapho.

Conclusion

Ukuqhawula unxibelelwano nomntu kulinyathelo elibaxayo yaye ngokuqhelekileyo kufanele kusetyenziswe njengelinge lokugqibela, ingakumbi xa libandakanya ilungu lentsapho. Kubalulekile ukuba uzame ukuthetha nomntu, ubeke imida, kwaye wenze ubudlelwane obungenampembelelo embi kubomi bakho.

Kodwa ukuba ukugcina unxibelelwano nomntu omthandayo okhohlisayo kubuhlungu kakhulu okanye kuyonakalisa, ukusika amaqhina kunye nokushiya kunokuba sisisombululo esona sisombululo kwimpilo yakho yengqondo. Khumbula: “Uyenza ngenxa yokuba impilo yakho yengqondo, ukuzithemba kunye nokuba sempilweni kubaluleke kakhulu kuwe kunokugcina ubudlelwane kunye nelungu losapho le-narcissistic”.

Ukuqhagamshelana:

• Narcissistic Umama oGcuthiweyo
• Emotional Blackmail Abazali