Uphumile kubudlelwane be-toxic kunye ne-manipulator ye-narcissistic, kodwa isithunzi sakhe sisahleli ebomini bakho. Elinye iqhinga asenokulisebenzisa ukuze akubambe kukuthumelela izipho obungazilindelanga. Izipho ezivela kwi-ex yakho enetyhefu zinokuthatha iindlela ezininzi, ukusuka kwizinto eziphathekayo ukuya kwizinto ezithandekayo okanye izithembiso. Nantsi indlela yokuqonda kunye nokujongana nezi nzame zokukhohlisa emva kokwahlukana.
Kutheni abaqhubi be-narcissistic beqhubeka nokunikela ngezipho emva kokwahlukana?
I-manipulative behaviour ye-narcissistic manipulator emva kokuhlukana ingabonakala ididekile. Nangona ubudlelwane buphelile, uqhubeka efuna ukugcina uxhulumaniso ngezipho okanye ingqalelo. Izizathu ezininzi zinokucacisa le ndlela yokuziphatha:
- Gcina ulawulo: Ngokukuthumelela izipho, ufuna ukuhlala ekhona ebomini bakho kwaye asebenzise uhlobo lokulawula ngokweemvakalelo kuwe.
- Yondla i-ego yakhe: Ukufumana impendulo evela kuwe, nokuba ilungile okanye imbi, iyondla imfuno yakhe eqhubekayo yokuhoywa kunye nokuqinisekiswa.
- Yenza ukuba uzive unetyala: Izipho zinokusetyenziswa njengendlela yokukhohlisa ukuze uzive unetyala kuye.
- Yivavanye imida yakho: Le yindlela yokubona ukuba usamphulaphula na, phezu kwako nje ukwahlukana.
- Sicoce isazela sakhe: Ngokubonakalisa isisa, unokuziqinisekisa ukuba akangomntu umbi, phezu kwazo nje izenzo zakhe zangaphambili.
Iindlela ezahlukeneyo “zezipho” ezisetyenziswa ngabaqhubi be-narcissistic
Izipho ezisuka kwi ex enetyhefu aziphelelanga kwizinto eziphathekayo. Banokuthatha iindlela ezahlukeneyo, zonke ziyilelwe ukufikelela kuwe ngokweemvakalelo:
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- Izipho zezinto eziphathekayo: Izacholo, iimpahla, izinto ezinxulumene nezinto ozithandayo okanye iinkumbulo ekwabelwana ngazo.
- Ukuthanda okanye iinkonzo: Ukunikezelwa koncedo ngemisebenzi yemihla ngemihla, ukulungiswa, inkxaso yemali.
- Ingqwalasela egqithisileyo: Imiyalezo, ukufowuna rhoqo, ukuthanda kwiinethiwekhi zentlalo.
- Izithembiso zotshintsho: Izibophelelo zokulandela unyango, ukuyeka ukuziphatha okuthile okuyityhefu.
- Ulwazi okanye “izityhilelo”: Ukwabelana ngeemfihlo okanye ulwazi olujoliswe ukubonisa ukuthembela kuwe.
Sinokuziqonda njani iinjongo ezifihlakeleyo zezi zipho?
Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba ezi zijekulo zikhangeleka ngathi zinesisa azifane zizinikele. Nazi ezinye iimpawu ezinokukunceda ukuba ubone iinjongo zokwenyani emva kwezi zipho:
- Ixesha elikrokrisayo: Izipho zihlala zifika ngamaxesha xa uqalisa ukulawula ubomi bakho kwakhona.
- Ukunganeli: Isipho asihambelani nezinto ozithandayo okanye imeko okuyo, nto leyo ebonisa ukuba akakwazi ngokwenene.
- Imiqathango eqhotyoshelweyo: Isipho siza kunye nolindelo olucacileyo okanye olucacileyo lwembuyekezo.
- Ubutyala: Usebenzisa isipho ku-ukwenza uzive unetyala ngokwahlukana okanye “ukungabi nambulelo” kwakho.
- Ukwaphulwa kwemida: Isipho siyayihoya imida oye wayimisa ngokucacileyo.
- Izikhumbuzo zexesha elidlulileyo: Izipho zihlala zibhekisa kwimbali yakho ekwabelwana ngayo, ngeenzame zokuvuselela iimvakalelo.
Impembelelo yeemvakalelo yezipho ezivela kumntu oyityhefu ex
Ukufumana izipho kumntu oyityhefu ex kunokubangela isaqhwithi seemvakalelo eziphikisanayo:
- Ukubhideka: Uyazibuza ukuba utshintshe nyani na okanye yimpatho entsha le.
- Ubutyala: Uziva umbi ngokugatya “ububele” bakhe.
- I-Nostalgia: Izipho zinokubuyisa iinkumbulo ezintle zobudlelwane.
- Umsindo: Uziva udimazekile ngoku kuzama ukukhohlisa.
- Ixhala: Uloyiko lokubuyela kubudlelwane obuyityhefu bunokuqina.
- Ukuzithandabuza: Uyasibuza isigqibo sakho sokuphelisa ubudlelwane.
Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ezi mvakalelo njengesiqhelo, ngelixa uhlala unengqondo ecacileyo malunga nendalo eyityhefu yobudlelwane obudlulileyo.
Ubuchule bokuhlangabezana nezipho ezingafunwayo ezivela kwi-Ex enetyhefu
Ukujongana nezi nzame zokukhohlisa, kubalulekile ukuba uthathe indlela eqinileyo necacileyo:
- Gcina imida yakho: Khumbula ukuba kutheni uphelise ubudlelwane kwaye uhlale uthembekile kwisigqibo sakho.
- Musa ukuphendula: Ukuthi cwaka kuyeyona ndlela ilungileyo yokusabela. Musa ukunika ex yakho ulwaneliseko yokusabela.
- Izipho zokuBuyisa: Ukuba kunokwenzeka, buyisela izipho ngaphandle kwamagqabaza okanye ucele umntu wesithathu ukuba akwenzele oko.
- Vala abafowunelwa: Nciphisa kangangoko kunokwenzeka iindlela anokufikelela ngazo kuwe.
- Funa inkxaso: Thetha nabantu obathandayo okanye umgqirha ukuze uhlale uqinile kwisigqibo sakho.
- Ziqhelise ukuba novelwano: Musa ukuzibeka ityala ngeemvakalelo ezivuselelwa zezi zipho kuwe.
- Gxininisa ekuphilisweni kwakho: Sebenzisa la mandla ukugxila kwintlalontle yakho kunye nokukhula kwakho.
Indlela yokuzikhulula ngokusisigxina kwimpembelelo yeemvakalelo yezipho ezinobuthi
Ukuzikhulula kwimpembelelo yeemvakalelo yezipho ezivela kwi-narcissistic manipulative ex yinkqubo ethatha ixesha kunye nomonde:
- Sebenzela ekuzixabiseni kwakho: Khumbula ukuba ukuxabiseka kwakho akuxhomekekanga “kwizipho” okanye ingqalelo yomntu onetyhefu.
- Ziqhelise ukuba nengqiqo: Funda ukujonga iimvakalelo zakho ngaphandle kokunamathela kuzo, ukuzilawula ngcono.
- Phinda ubhale ibali lakho: Endaweni yokubona ezi zipho njengemiqondiso yothando, zigqale njengemizamo yokukhohlisa.
- Yenza amasiko amatsha: Faka iinkumbulo ezibotshelelwe kwizipho eziyityhefu ngezithethe ezitsha nezilungileyo.
- Tyala kubudlelwane obunempilo: Zijikeleze nabantu abakuhloniphileyo nabakuxabisayo ngokungenamiqathango.
- Phonononga unyango: Ingcali inokukunceda utyhile amaqhina antsonkothileyo ngokweemvakalelo anxulunyaniswa ne-ex yakho enetyhefu.
Guqula la mava ube lithuba lokuzikhulisa
Nangona kunzima kangakanani la mava, inokuba lithuba lokukhula kobuqu okubalulekileyo:
- Yomeleza imida yakho: Funda ukuseka kunye nokugcina imida enempilo kubo bonke ubudlelwane bakho.
- Phuhlisa intuition yakho: Themba ithuku lakho ukuze ubone iimpawu zokukhohlisa kwikamva.
- Hlakulela ukuzimela ngokweemvakalelo: Funda ukufumana ukuqinisekiswa kunye nolonwabo kuwe, kunokuba kwizenzo zabanye.
- Ziqhelanise nokuyeka: Yamkela ukuba awukwazi ukulawula izenzo zalowo wangaphambili, yimpendulo yakho kuphela.
- Luchaze ngokutsha ulwalamano lwakho nezipho: Funda ukuxabisa izimbo zomzimba ezinyanisekileyo kubudlelwane bakho obunempilo obukhoyo.
Ukuqukumbela
Ukuqukumbela, izipho ezisuka kwi-narcissistic manipulative ex azifane zibe ziimpawu zokwenyani zothando. Ziyingxenye ye-arsenal ye-manipulation ejoliswe ekugcineni ulawulo phezu kwakho. Ngokuqaphela la maqhinga kunye nokuphuhlisa izicwangciso zokujongana nazo, awukwazi ukuzikhusela kuphela, kodwa uguqule la mava abe lithuba lokukhula kunye nokuxhotyiswa. Khumbula ukuba impilo-ntle yakho noxolo lwangaphakathi zezona zipho zixabisekileyo onokuzinika wena.
Ngaba ufuna uncedo lokuphumelela?
Akuyomfuneko ukuba ujamelane nolu vavanyo uwedwa. I-Cristina ikuxhasa ngamanyathelo abambekayo kunye nesicwangciso sesenzo somntu. Iseshini yoqeqesho lwevidiyo yomntu ngamnye (iSkype okanye iWhatsApp) — €100 ngeseshoni nganye.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.