Uthando kunye ne-amnesia: into enzima kubudlelwane

Uthando kunye ne-amnesia zinokubonakala ngathi ziingcamango ezikude kakhulu. Nangona kunjalo, ezi ziganeko zimbini ngamanye amaxesha zinxulunyaniswa ngokusondeleyo kubudlelwane obuthile. I-Amnesia, nokuba yokwenyani okanye ifanisiwe, inokuba nefuthe elinzulu kumandla othando. Eli nqaku liphonononga iinkalo ezahlukeneyo ze-amnesia kumxholo wobudlelwane bothando, ukuvavanya izizathu, ukubonakaliswa kunye nemiphumo.

Yintoni i-amnesia kwimeko yothando?

I-Amnesia kumxholo wothando inokuthatha iindlela ezininzi. Oku kunokuba yinkumbulo yokwenyani ngenxa yokwenzakala okanye imeko yempilo. Kodwa rhoqo, kubudlelwane, sithetha ngohlobo lwe-amnesia ekhethiweyo okanye yeemvakalelo.

Le amnesia ekhethiweyo ibonakala xa umntu ebonakala “elibala” iziganeko ezithile okanye ukuziphatha, ngokubanzi okungalunganga. Kumxholo wobudlelwane bothando, oku kunokubandakanya:

• Ukulibala izithembiso ezenziwe kwiqabane
• Ukukhanyela ukuziphatha okwenzakalisayo kwangaphambili
• Ukungakwazi ukukhumbula iingxabano ezibalulekileyo okanye iingxaki kubudlelwane

Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuba le ndlela ye-amnesia ayisoloko isazi okanye inenjongo. Inokuba sisiphumo seendlela eziyinkimbinkimbi zengqondo.

Izizathu ze-amnesia kubudlelwane bothando

Izinto ezininzi zinokufaka isandla ekubonakaleni kwe-amnesia kubudlelwane bothando:

• Izengqondo defense mechanism

I-Amnesia inokuba yindlela yokuzikhusela engekho zingqondweni. Ingqondo “iyalibala” iziganeko ezibuhlungu okanye ezixinzelelekileyo ukuze zikhuseleke. Kubudlelwane, oku kunokubangela ukulibala iingxabano okanye amaxesha anzima.

• Utyekelo ekufezekiseni injongo

Ekuqaleni kobudlelwane, kuqhelekile ukwenza iqabane lakho libe lilungele. Oku kulungelelaniswa kunokukhokelela kuhlobo lwe-amnesia ekhethiweyo apho sikhumbula kuphela imiba emihle yobudlelwane.

• Narcissism kunye ne-egocentrism

Abanye abantu, ngakumbi abo baneempawu ze-narcissistic, banokuhlakulela uhlobo lwe-amnesia ekhethiweyo. “Bazilibala” iindlela zabo zokuziphatha ezimbi ukuze balondoloze imbonakalo yabo.

• Uxinzelelo kunye nokudinwa

Uxinzelelo olungapheliyo kunye nokudinwa kunokuchaphazela inkumbulo. Kubudlelwane obucinezelayo, oku kungabonakalisa njengokulibala rhoqo, kwanangemiba ebalulekileyo yobudlelwane.

Ingaba iamnesia ibonakala njani eluthandweni?

I-Amnesia kubudlelwane bothando inokuzibonakalisa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo:

• Ukulibala ngokukhethayo kwiingxabano

Iqabane lisenokubonakala “lilibala” ngokucwangcisiweyo iingxabano okanye ukungavumelani, kwanangoku nje. Oku kunokudala imvakalelo yokukhanyela ubunyani kwelinye iqabane.

• Ukubhala kwakhona imbali yobudlelwane

Ngamanye amaxesha iqabane lingatshintsha ngokungazi iinkumbulo zabo zobudlelwane. Unako ukuhombisa imicimbi ethile okanye ajongele phantsi ezinye, edala inguqulelo efanelekileyo yebali lesi sibini.

• Ukungakwazi ukukhumbula izithembiso okanye izibophelelo

I-Amnesia inokuzibonakalisa ngokulibala rhoqo izithembiso ezenziwe kwiqabane. Oku kunokubandakanya izibophelelo ezibalulekileyo ezifana neeprojekthi ezidibeneyo okanye uxanduva ekwabelwana ngalo.

• Ukwala ukuziphatha okudlulileyo

Kwezinye iimeko, iqabane linokukhanyela ngokuthe ngqo ukubandakanyeka kwindlela ethile yokuziphatha, nokuba kukho ubungqina. Oku kukhanyela kunokweyisela kangangokuba eneneni ubonakala engakhumbuli.

Iziphumo ze-amnesia kubudlelwane bothando

I-Amnesia, nokuba iyinyani okanye iyabonwa, inokuba neziphumo ezibalulekileyo kubudlelwane bothando:

• ukuphelelwa ukuzithemba

Xa iqabane lihlala libonakala lilibala izinto ezibalulekileyo zobudlelwane, kunokutshabalalisa ukuthembana. Elinye iqabane linokuqalisa ukuthandabuza ukunyaniseka nokuzinikela kweqabane labo.

• Ungquzulwano oluqhubekayo

I-amnesia ekhethiweyo inokukhokelela ekuphindaphindweni kweengxabano ezifanayo. Ukuba iqabane alikhumbuli iingxaki ezidlulileyo, kunzima ukuzicombulula kwaye uqhubeke.

• Imvakalelo yokunganyaniseki

Xa elinye iqabane likhanyela okanye lilibale ngeziganeko ezithile, elinye lisenokuziva lingafanelekanga kumava nakwiimvakalelo zalo. Oku kunokudala imvakalelo enzulu ye-loneliness kunye nokungaqondi.

• Ubunzima bokwakha imbali eqhelekileyo

I-Amnesia kubudlelwane inokwenza kube nzima ukwakha ibali ekwabelwana ngalo. Ukuba iinkumbulo azinakwabelwana okanye zisoloko zithandabuza, isibini sisenokusokola ukukhulisa imvo yomanyano nokuqhubeka.

Uthando, i-amnesia kunye nokuxhatshazwa: ikhonkco elinzima

Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuba i-amnesia kubudlelwane bothando ngamanye amaxesha inokunxulunyaniswa namandla axhaphazayo:

• Amnesia njengendlela yokukhohlisa

Kwezinye iimeko, i-amnesia ingasetyenziselwa njengendlela yokukhwabanisa. Iqabane elixhaphazayo linokwenza ngathi alikhumbuli ukuziphatha kwabo kakubi ukuze baphephe ukuthatha uxanduva kubo.

• Ukukhanya kweGas kunye ne-amnesia

gaslighting, uhlobo lokuxhatshazwa ngokwasengqondweni, kudla ngokubandakanya uhlobo oluthile lwe-amnesia. Umxhaphazi uyabukhanyela ubunyani obufunyanwa lixhoba lakhe, oko kumenza athandabuze inkumbulo yakhe kunye nokuqonda kwakhe iziganeko.

• Traumatic amnesia

Kwiimeko zokuxhatshazwa ngokuqatha, ixhoba linokwenza uhlobo lokwenene lwe-amnesia ebuhlungu. Ingqondo ivala iinkumbulo ezithile ukuze izikhusele kumothuko ofunyenweyo.

Uthando kunye ne-amnesia: iziphumo kwimpilo yengqondo yamaqabane

I-Amnesia kubudlelwane ingaba neempembelelo ezibalulekileyo kwimpilo yengqondo yamaqabane omabini:

• Anxiety kunye ne-depression

Iqabane elijongene ne-amnesia yomnye linokuba nexhala kunye nokudakumba. Intandabuzo rhoqo kunye neemvakalelo zokungabi nakusebenza zingangumthwalo ogqithisileyo ngokwasengqondweni.

• Ukubhideka kunye ne-disorientation

I-Amnesia inokudala imvakalelo yokudideka kunye nokuphazamiseka kubudlelwane. Amaqabane asenokuziva ngathi aphila kwizinto zokwenyani ezinxuseneyo, ezinokuthi zingazinzisi kakhulu.

• Ukuphelelwa kukuzithemba

Kumlingane onamava ahlala ephikiswa okanye ekhohliwe, oku kunokukhokelela ekulahlekelweni kokuzithemba. Usenokuqalisa ukuthandabuza imbono yakhe nokufaneleka kwakhe.

Amnesia kunye nonxibelelwano kwizibini

I-Amnesia inokuba nefuthe elikhulu kunxibelelwano phakathi kwesibini:

• Ukungaqondi kakuhle

Xa elinye iqabane lisoloko lizilibala incoko okanye izivumelwano, oko kunokukhokelela ekungaqondani okuphindaphindiweyo nokudandathekisayo.

• Ubunzima bokusombulula iingxabano

Ukuba iqabane alikhumbuli iingxaki ezidlulileyo, kuba nzima ukusondela kwaye uzisombulule ngendlela eyakhayo.

• Isidingo esiqhubekayo sezikhumbuzo

Iqabane elijongene ne-amnesia yomnye lisenokuziva linyanzelekile ukuba lisoloko likhumbuza abantu ngezinto, ezinokudala umzali nomntwana onamandla kunokuba abe nobudlelwane phakathi kwabantu abadala abalinganayo.

Ukuqukumbela

Ukuqukumbela, i-amnesia kubudlelwane bothando yinto entsonkothileyo, enezinto ezininzi. Nokuba yinyani, iyabonwa okanye isetyenziswa njengendlela yokuzikhusela, inokuba neziphumo ezinzulu kutshintsho lwesibini. Ukuqonda ezi ndlela kunokunceda umntu ajonge ngcono imiceli mngeni abayibonisayo, kodwa kubalulekile ukuqaphela xa i-amnesia iba luphawu lweengxaki ezinzulu kubudlelwane. Kwezinye iimeko, ukungenelela kochwepheshe kunokuba yimfuneko ukunceda isibini ukuba sinqobe obu bunzima kunye nokwakha ubudlelwane obuphilileyo kunye nolungelelwano.