I-Electra’s complex: Ukuqonda le nto inzima kayise nentombi

THE Electra complex yingcinga yengqondo echaza ukuzinikela okugqithisileyo kwentombi kuyise, edla ngokukhatshwa kukukhuphisana kungekho zingqondweni nomama. Eli gama, libolekwe kwintsomi yamaGrike, laye lathandwa nguCarl Jung, nangona lilingana nobudoda, I-Oedipus complex, yaziwa ngokubanzi. THE Electra complex iqaqambisa amandla anzulu osapho kunye nemiba ebalulekileyo yophuhliso lwengqondo yamantombazana.

Kweli nqaku, siza kuhlolisisa imvelaphi, ukubonakaliswa kunye nomsebenzi wabaphandi abaye bafunda le nto. Siza kugxila kwimpembelelo yengqondo ye Electra complex kubomi bomfazi, kwakunye nempembelelo yalo ehlala ihleli ekukhuleni kwakhe.

Yintoni i-Electra complex?

THE Electra complex ibhekisela kulwalamano olusenyongweni lwentombi noyise, oludityaniswa nohlobo oluthile lokusukuzana nonina. Eli gama lifumana imvelaphi kwintsomi yamaGrike ka-Electra, intombi kaKumkani uAgamemnon noClytemnestra, ophindezela ukufa kukayise ngokubulala unina. Le ntsomi ifuzisela ubunzulu bobudlelwane boyise nentombi kunye nobunzima bobudlelwane phakathi kosapho.

Want to break free from this hold?

UCarl Jung, i-psychoanalyst yaseSwitzerland, yazisa eli gama njengempendulo I-Oedipus complex kaFreud, kodwa ukuyisebenzisa kumantombazana. Ngokungafaniyo noFreud, owayekholelwa ukuba i-Oedipal complex inokusebenza kumantombazana kunye namakhwenkwe, uJung wacinga ukuba kubalulekile ukwahlula uphuhliso lwengqondo lwezini ezimbini.

Indima kayise kwi-complex ye-Electra

Kwi Electra complex, uyise ubambe indawo ephambili kwingqondo yentombi. Uhlala ebonwa njengomntu onegunya kunye nothando, kwaye oku kuguquguqukayo kunokuvela kumbono ogqithisileyo katata. Oku kufezekiswa kunokuba neziphumo ezininzi:

  1. UA imfuneko yokuvunywa: Intombi inokufuna ukwamkelwa nothando olungapheliyo nguyise, ifuna ukuqinisekisa uthando lwayo, naxa sele ikhulile.
  2. Umtsalane kumanani angamadoda afanayo: Umfanekiso katata uba ngumzekelo wobudlelwane bothando obulandelayo, umfazi uhlala efuna amadoda aneempawu ezibonwa kuyise.
  3. Emotional ukuxhomekeka: Olu lwalamano oluqinileyo noyise lunokukhokelela kuhlobo lokuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo kumanani abesilisa kubomi babantu abadala.

Xa olu lwalamano kunye noyise alulungelelananga okanye alukho, lunokudala ukunqongophala ngokweemvakalelo, okukhokelela kwiimpembelelo kubudlelwane bothando bexesha elizayo. Ukukhangela rhoqo amanani uyise kumaqabane yothando kunokuphumela a I-Electra syndrome engasonjululwanga.

Ukuxabana nomama

THE Electra complex ngokufuthi kuquka imvakalelo yokusukuzana nomama, njengoko intombi igqala unina njengokhuphisana nomsa kayise. Le mvakalelo yokhuphiswano ihlala ingekho zingqondweni, kodwa inokuzibonakalisa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo kutshintsho kusapho:

  1. Ikhwele ngakunina: Intombi inokuba nekhwele elifihlakeleyo ngakunina, ngakumbi kwimeko yobudlelwane bomtshato phakathi kwabazali bayo.
  2. Ingxabano yamazwe ngamazwe: Le mvakalelo yokusukuzana inokukhokelela kwiingxabano phakathi komama nentombi, echaphazela ubudlelwane bentsapho kwixesha elide.

Njengoko ikhula, intombazana inokucinezela ezi mvakalelo okanye iqhubeke ifumana olu khuphiswano ngezinye iindlela, ezinjengobunzima bokwenza ubudlelwane obuqinileyo basetyhini. Kunokuba ipheleliswe ebuntwaneni, le ngxabano inokuzibonakalisa xa umntu emdala, ephembelela ukusebenzisana nabanye abafazi kwimeko yobungcali okanye yentlalontle.

Imiboniso ye-Electra complex xa umntu emdala

THE Electra complex, xa ingaconjululwa, inokuphumela kwiimbonakaliso ezininzi ebudaleni, ngokukodwa kulwalamano lobuqu nolothando.

  • Ubunzima bokuseka ubudlelwane obufanelekileyo kunye nabasetyhini
  • I-Umtsalane kuMfanekiso ogunyazisiweyo waMadoda – Abasetyhini abaye bafumana i-Electra complex abangaziqondiyo banokutsalwa ngokungaziyo kugunyaziwe okanye amadoda anamandla akhumbula uyise. Oku kuguquguquka kunokukhokelela kubudlelwane obungalungelelananga apho owasetyhini ehlala efuna imvume kwiqabane lakhe eliyindoda.
  • Ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo kunye nesidingo sokuqinisekiswa – Esinye isiphumo esiqhelekileyo sixhomekeke kwimvakalelo kumadoda, ezibonakalisa njengesidingo esiqhubekayo sokuqinisekiswa nothando. Oku kuxhomekeka kunokuba ngumqobo kubudlelwane bothando, kuba kudala ukungalingani ngokweemvakalelo apho elinye iqela lihlala lifuna ukuqondwa.

Ubunzima bokuseka ubudlelwane obufanelekileyo kunye nabasetyhini

Pha ubunzima bokuseka ubudlelwane obufanelekileyo kunye nabasetyhini sisiphumo esithe rhoqo se Electra complex engasonjululwanga, apho usukuzwano lokuqala phakathi kwentombazana nonina ludlala indima ephambili. Ebuntwaneni, olu sukuzwano luzibonakalisa njengokhuphiswano olungahoywanga lwengqalelo nothando lukabawo. Intombi, xa ibona unina njengomfanekiso okhuphisanayo wothando lukayise, inokuhlakulela imvakalelo yomona okanye ukungathembeki kuye. Njengoko umntwana ekhula, le pateni yokukhuphisana ayiqhubeki nje kuphela, kodwa inokuqikelelwa nakwabanye abafazi kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo, ngaloo ndlela ichaphazela amandla okwakha ubudlelwane obunempilo kunye nokulungelelana kwabasetyhini.

Thembela kwaye ungathembi kubudlelwane babasetyhini

Esinye sezibonakaliso zokuqala zale ntshukumo yi ubunzima bokuthemba abanye abafazi. Imodeli yokhuphiswano kunye nokubangisana nomama inokuba yigridi yokufunda engazi nto apho umfazi abona ubudlelwane bakhe namanye amanani abasetyhini. Kubuhlobo okanye kubudlelwane bomsebenzi, ibhinqa linokuthi livelise kwakhona le ndlela yokukhuphisana ngokungazi, ukubona abanye abafazi njengabachasi abanokuba ngabachasi, ngakumbi xa kuziwa kwimiba enxulumene nokuvunywa okanye umdla wamadoda. Oku kungathembeki kunokukhokelela ekungakwazini ukwenza uxhulumaniso olunzulu, lokwenene kunye nabanye abafazi, kuba yonke intsebenziswano yabasetyhini ibanjwe ukwesaba ukhuphiswano okanye ukungcatshwa.

Oku kungathembani kudla ngokukhokelela ekunqongophaleni komanyano lwabasetyhini. Kunokuba babone abanye abafazi njengamahlakani okanye amaqabane, babonwa njengabakhuphisanayo, nto leyo enokudala umgama obalulekileyo weemvakalelo. Ubuhlobo bamabhinqa ngokufuthi buba nzulu okanye busekelwe kukruthakruthwano lwamagunya, ibhinqa lisoloko lisoyika ukutyhalelwa bucala okanye ukungcatshwa.

Umkhwa wokhuphiswano lwabasetyhini

Enye inkalo ephambili yi utyekelo lokukhuphisana nabanye abafazi, ngakumbi xa kuziwa kwingqalelo okanye ukuvunywa kwamadoda. I-Electra complex isikhokelela ekubeni sifake ngaphakathi uhlobo lokhuphiswano oluqhubekayo kunye nenani lomama, kwaye olu khuphiswano luba yinto eqhelekileyo ebudaleni kunye nabanye abafazi. Kubudlelwane bothando, umzekelo, ibhinqa eline I-Electra syndrome engasonjululwanga unokuziva esongelwa kamsinya nje ukuba elinye ibhinqa libonakalise umdla kwindoda enye njengaye.

Oku kufuna ukugqama, ukodlula amanye amabhinqa, kunokuba bubuqili okanye, kwezinye iimeko, kungqubana ngokugqithisileyo. Oku kunokukhokelela ekubeni a ukuziphatha okukhuphisanayo kwiindawo ezahlukeneyo: kungekhona kuphela kubudlelwane bothando, kodwa nakwimekobume yobungcali, apho oogxa ababhinqileyo banokubonwa njengabakhuphisanayo ukuba bapheliswe kunokuba babe ngamaqabane omsebenzi oza kusebenzisana nabo.

Ukhuphiswano lwamabhinqa lusenokubonakala njengomnqweno othe rhoqo wokuzithelekisa nabanye abafazi, enoba kungokwenkangeleko, umgangatho wentlalo, okanye impumelelo yobuqu. Le mfuno engapheliyo yokuthelekisa inokuphembelela iimvakalelo zokungakhuseleki kunye nokungoneliseki, ukomeleza ukhuphiswano kunye nomgama phakathi kwabanye abafazi. Owasetyhini ke afune ukuqinisekiswa kwangaphandle, ngokufuthi ngamanani angamadoda, ukungqina ukuxabiseka kwakhe, kwaye oku kufuna ukuqondwa kwamadoda kunokomeleza uluvo lokuba abanye abafazi bayimiqobo kwimpumelelo yakhe.

Ukuveliswa kwakhona kweschema sentombi kamama kwezinye iimeko

Enye yezona ziphumo ziyingozi kakhulu Electra complex luveliso lwe ungquzulwano phakathi kukamama nentombi kobunye ubudlelwane babasetyhini. Ibhinqa elakhe lajamelana nolu khuphiswano luqatha nonina lisenokufuna lingazi nto ukuyiphinda le ndlela kulwalamano lwalo lwamva namanye amabhinqa anegunya, njengabaphathi okanye abacebisi. Ngokomzekelo, unokuba nobunzima bokwamkela igunya lomfazi emsebenzini okanye kwindawo yentlalontle, ebona uhlobo ngalunye lobunkokeli obubhinqileyo njengento entsha yokwakheka kukamama amele alwe nxamnye nayo.

Le ndlela yophindaphindo ayipheli kuphela kumanani abasemagunyeni. Nakubuhlobo, abafazi banokuba neemvakalelo ezingavisisaniyo, ezingqubana phakathi komsa nosukuzwano. Umnqweno wokusondela ngakumbi kumhlobo unokuthintelwa luloyiko olungekho zingqondweni lokuphinda ukhuphisane ngokweemvakalelo nonina. Ngenxa yoko, ubudlelwane babasetyhini buyazinza, buphawulwa kukwahlukana rhoqo okanye ukungaqondani.

Ukwahluka ngokweemvakalelo

Ekugqibeleni, i ubunzima bokuseka ubudlelwane obufanelekileyo kunye nabasetyhini kunokukhokelela ekubeni a ukuzahlula ngokweemvakalelo enenkqubela. Owasetyhini oziva ekhuphisana rhoqo nabanye abafazi, okanye obajonga njengabanokuba ngabakhuphisana nabo, unokukhetha ukunciphisa ukusebenzisana kwakhe nabo. Oku kurhoxa ekuhlaleni kudala umjikelo okhohlakeleyo, apho ukubekwa wedwa komeleza iinkolelo ezisisiseko zokungathembani kunye nokhuphiswano, kuthintela ukudalwa kobudlelwane bokwenyani kunye nokukhulisa ubudlelwane.

Ukongeza, oku kukwahlukaniswa kunokuthintela owasetyhini ukuba angonwabele izibonelelo zomanyano lwabasetyhini, into ebalulekileyo ekuboneleleni ngenkxaso yeemvakalelo kunye nokwakha amanethiwekhi oluntu asempilweni. Ngokuzikhwebula kwabanye abafazi, uzibandeza inkxaso exabisekileyo, enokwandisa iimvakalelo zobulolo nokuba sesichengeni ngokweemvakalelo. Oku kunegalelo ekwenzeni kube nzima ngakumbi ukusombulula iingxabano zangaphakathi ezinxulunyaniswa no Electra complex, kuba akanabudlelwane obunokumnceda ukuba oyise ezi patheni zengqondo.

Ngamafutshane, i ubunzima bokuseka ubudlelwane obufanelekileyo kunye nabasetyhini yenye yezona zibonakaliso zibalulekileyo ze I-Electra syndrome engasonjululwanga. Ivela kusukuzwano lokuqala kunye nomama oluthi, ukuba aluloyiswa, ludlulele kolunye ubudlelwane babasetyhini kubo bonke ubomi babantu abadala. Lo mzekelo uhlala ukhokelela ekuziphatheni kokungathembani, ukukhuphisana kunye nokuzihlukanisa, ngaloo ndlela kuthintela abafazi ekufikeleleni ubudlelwane obunelisayo kunye nokulinganisela kunye nabanye abafazi.

I-impact ye-Electra syndrome kubudlelwane namadoda

L’Impembelelo ye-Electra syndrome kubudlelwane namadoda ebudaleni bunzulu kwaye bunokubonakaliswa ngeendlela ezininzi zengqondo nezeemvakalelo, eziphembelela indlela owasetyhini abona ngayo kwaye anxibelelane namanani angamadoda. Xa intombazana ingakhange isombulule le mpixano ingazi nto idityaniswe nokuncamathela kwakhe kuyise, inokudala iipateni zobudlelwane ezingasebenziyo ezichaphazela ubudlelwane bakhe bothando kwaye, ngokubanzi, indlela yakhe yokusondela kumadoda ngokubanzi.

Ukukhangela amanani ootata kubudlelwane bothando

Enye yeempembelelo ezicacileyo ze I-Electra syndrome engasonjululwanga lutyekelo lokufuna ungekho zingqondweni amanani ootata kumaqabane othando. Umfazi, esele elungele uyise ebuntwaneni bakhe, ufuna ukuphinda avelise le nto iguqukayo kubudlelwane bakhe bothando. Unokutsaleleka kumadoda amadala, angqongqo okanye akhuselayo amkhumbuza ngoyise. Olu phendlo lokufuna utata obambeleyo lunokumtyhala ukuba athande ubudlelwane apho aziva ekhuselekile, exhomekeke okanye ekhangela ukuqinisekiswa kwamadoda.

Oku kunokukhokelela ekubeni akhethe amaqabane asebenzisa ulawulo olugqithisileyo okanye igunya phezu kwakhe, ukuvelisa ipateni ukungeniswa kunye nokukhuliswa komntwana. Isidingo sokukhokelwa, ukuqinisekiswa okanye ukukhuselwa yindoda eyongamileyo inokuthintela ukukhula komntu kwaye idale ukungalingani kubudlelwane. Unokuthi ngokungazi afune ukugcina inguquko apho ahlala ekwisikhundla “sobusana”, eshiya indoda indima yomntu onegunya kunye nomenzi wesigqibo, nto leyo enokunciphisa ukukhula kwakhe kunye nokukwazi kwakhe ukuvela njengomntu ozimeleyo.

Electra Syndrome & Narcissistic kunye/okanye ubudlelwane obuyityhefu

THE I-Electra syndrome, xa ishiywe ingaconjululwa, isenokukhokelela ekuziphatheni kakubi. ukungeniswa kwayeukukhuliswa komntwana kubudlelwane babantu abadala, ngakumbi ubudlelwane bothando. Esi siganeko sichazwa lunxulumano olunzulu ngokwasemoyeni nangokwengqondo ethi intombazana iphuhliseka kuyise ngexesha lobuntwana bayo, ize iqhubeke ibe ngumntu omdala kwiindlela zokungaziqondi.

Ukukhangela umntu ongutata

Enye yezinto eziphambili ze I-Electra syndrome na uphendlo zingekho zingqondweni, kwabasetyhini abadala, ukuba umntu uyise kumaqabane abo zothando. Emva kokuba ezimisele uyise njengoyena mntu unegunya, ukhuseleko namandla, umfazi usenokuzama ukuphinda avelise la mandla kulwalamano lwakhe lwabantu abadala. Oku kukhokelela kwi iipateni zokuxhomekeka apho athi kumlingani wakhe indima yokuba ngumkhokeli okanye umkhuseli, ebeka indoda kwindawo yamandla negunya phezu kwayo.

Olu budlelwane obungalinganiyo buphumela kuhlobo lwe ukungeniswa, apho umfazi ethobela iminqweno kunye nezigqibo zeqabane lakhe, efuna ukwamkelwa kunye nothando lwakhe ngokubuyisela. Oku kuhanjiswa kungathatha iindlela ezininzi: ukuthobela ukhetho lweqabane, ukunika indlela kwiimfuno zakhe, okanye ukuphepha iingxabano ukuze ungabi sengozini yokuphulukana nothando lwayo, kanye njengokuba intombi isoyika ukuphulukana nomsa kayise Electra complex. Ngaloo ndlela umfazi ufuna ukuqinisekisa ingqalelo kunye nothando lomlingane wakhe ngokuzibeka kwindawo yokuhlonipha, ecinga ukuba ngokwenza ngale ndlela, unokugcina imvisiswano kubudlelwane.

Isidingo sokhuseleko kunye nokuxhomekeka

THE imfuneko yokhuseleko yenye imbonakalo eqhelekileyo yale syndrome. Njengenxalenye ye I-Electra syndrome, ibhinqa liyicingela ingcamango yokunyanyekelwa yindoda ebalaseleyo, njengoko uyise wayenjalo ebuntwaneni bakhe. Emva koko ulindele ukuba iqabane lakhe limkhusele, limkhokele, kwaye limenzele izigqibo ezibalulekileyo, ezimbeka kwi indawo yomntwana. Olu tshintsho ludala ubudlelwane obungalinganiyo bamandla, apho indoda ithatha indima yomzali okhuselayo, ngelixa umfazi ethatha isikhundla sokuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo nangokwengqondo, efana neyomntwana.

Olu khangelo lokhuseleko lunokukhokelela owasetyhini ukuba aphephe uxanduva okanye adlulisele ngokucwangcisiweyo izigqibo ezibalulekileyo kwiqabane lakhe. Isenokungavumi ukuthabatha amanyathelo okanye ukubeka izimvo zayo, ikhetha ukuthembela kwigunya lendoda, njengoko yenzayo kuyise. Olu tshintsho lokuxhomekeka lomeleza uhlobo lweukukhuliswa komntwana, apho ibhinqa lizibona lingenakukwazi ukunyamekela iimfuno zalo okanye lijongene nemingeni yobomi ngokuzimeleyo.

Uloyiko lokulahlwa kunye nokuzithoba

THE I-Electra syndrome likwahlala linxulunyaniswa ne uloyiko lokulahlwa, nto leyo etyhala umfazi ukuba azithobe ukuze aphephe nayiphi na ingozi yokwaliwa. Kanye njengokuba umntwana esoyika ukuphulukana nothando lukayise xa kukho ungquzulwano okanye ukungavisisani, ibhinqa elikhulileyo linokuziphatha ngendlela efanayo. ukuzithoba ngokweemvakalelo ukugcina uthando lomlingane wakhe. Uyakuphepha ukujamelana nokungavisisani, ukubeka imida okanye ukugxininisa iimfuno zakhe, kuba esoyika ukuba oku kuya kulubeka emngciphekweni ulwalamano.

THE ikhonkco phakathi koloyiko lokulahlwa, ubudlelwane kunye neqabane le-narcissistic kunye ne-Electra syndrome luntsonkothile kwaye luhlala luzinze nzulu kutshintsho lwengqondo yowesifazane oye wanamava okumva. Abasetyhini abachatshazelwa yi I-Electra syndrome badla ngokuphuhla ukuxhomekeka okumandla ngokweemvakalelo kumanani angamadoda, ngakumbi abo bafana nootata babo, nto leyo ebenza babe sesichengeni sobudlelwane namaqabane ane-narcissistic. Ukwesaba ukulahlwa, okubangelwa kubudlelwane obungakhuselekanga kuyise ebuntwaneni, kunokukhokelela ekubeni bafune amaqabane athembisa ukukhuselwa kunye nokuqinisekiswa, kodwa, ngokwenene, bahlala bebugovu kunye nobuqili. AmaNarciss, ngokwendalo yawo, asebenzisa olu loyiko ngokuthi aqale anike uthando olubonakala lungenamiqathango kwaye emva koko adale indawo yolawulo kunye nokuhla kwexabiso. Oku kuguquguqukayo komeleza ukungeniswa kunye nokuxhomekeka kowasetyhini, othi, esoyika ukuphulukana nomsa weqabane le-narcissistic, anyamezele ukuziphatha kakubi ngelixa ehlala ebambekile kumjikelo wokuncamathela okungenampilo. Ngaloo ndlela, i-Electra syndrome, ngokusebenza njenge-prism apho ibhinqa libona kunye namava obudlelwane bakhe, kwandisa uloyiko lokulahlwa kwaye limveze kubudlelwane owonakalisayo obuqhubela phambili ukungakwazi kwakhe ukuzibamba kunye nokuseka uxhulumaniso oluphilileyo nolulungeleleneyo.

Ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo nangokweemvakalelo

Esinye isiphumo esiqhelekileyo se I-Electra syndrome ikhona i ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo. Umfazi unokuhlakulela ukuxhomekeka okunamandla ngokweemvakalelo kwiqabane lakhe, efuna rhoqo ukuvunywa kunye nothando lwakhe, ngendlela efanayo njengoko wayefuna ingqalelo kayise ebuntwaneni. Oku kuxhomekeka kunokwenza kube nzima ukuseka ubudlelwane obulungeleleneyo, apho omabini amaqabane ayalingana kutshintshiselwano lweemvakalelo.

Kolu lwalamano, ibhinqa lisenokuziva lixhalabile ngokunzulu ngenxa yokuphulukana nothando okanye ingqalelo yeqabane lakhe, ngaloo ndlela livelisa uloyiko lokuphulukana nothando lukayise. Usenokuba ngumlawuli kakhulu, abe nomona, okanye abe novelwano kakhulu kwezona mpawu zincinane zomgama weemvakalelo, ezinokulonakalisa ulwalamano. Le mfuno iqhubekayo yokuqinisekiswa inokufunxa omnye, idale ukuguquguquka okungalungelelananga apho owasetyhini anikezela ngayo yonke into ukuze afumane uthando, ngaphandle kokufumana inkxaso yeemvakalelo efanayo.

Pha ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo kwaye i idinga ukuqinisekiswa zimbonakaliso ezindele nzulu ze I-Electra syndrome, ingakumbi phakathi kwabasetyhini abakhe bachanabeka kwiingxaki zeentsapho ezingqubanayo. Le syndrome, edityaniswe nokukhuphisana nomama kunye nokunamathela kuyise, idala umhlaba ochumileyo wophuhliso lokuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo kubudlelwane bothando.

Imvelaphi yokuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo

Kumxholo we-Electra syndrome, ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo kudla ngokuqalisa ukusuka ebuntwaneni. Intombi, ngokukhuphisana nomama wayo ngothando nengqalelo kayise, ikhulisa ukungaqiniseki ngexabiso layo lobuqu. Ufunda ukuba uthando kufuneka lufumaneke kwaye kufuneka rhoqo azibonakalise ukuba ufanelekile, ngokufuthi ngokuziphatha. Le mfuno yokuqinisekiswa ke ijika ibe kukufuna ngokungxamisekileyo ukuvunywa kubudlelwane bexesha elizayo, imtyhala ukuba afune ukukholisa amaqabane akhe ukuze azive ethandwa kwaye amkelwe.

Ukubonakaliswa kubudlelwane bothando

Oku kuxhomekeka kudla ngokuzibonakalisa njenge imfuneko eqhubekayo yokuqinisekiswa kwicala lamadoda. Umfazi ochatshazelwe yi-Electra syndrome unokuzifumana efuna iimpawu zothando, ukuncoma, okanye ukuqinisekiswa kothando lweqabane lakhe ngokugqithisileyo. Unxibelelwano ngalunye luba lithuba lokulinganisa ixabiso lomntu. Usenokunikela ingqalelo kumazwi nakwizenzo zomnye umntu, efuna ukutolika iimvakalelo ukuze aqinisekise ukuba uyathandwa. Oku kufuna rhoqo ukuqinisekiswa kunokukhokelela kuhlobo loxinzelelo lweemvakalelo apho umfazi eziva esengozini, exhalabile kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ade aphelelwe lithemba xa iqabane lakhe lingakwazi ukuhlangabezana nokulindela kwakhe.

Ukungalingani ngokweemvakalelo

Oku kuguquguquka kokuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo kudala a ukungalingani ngokweemvakalelo kubudlelwane. Elinye lamaqabane, ngokufuthi ibhinqa, lizifumana likwimeko apho lihlala lifuna ukuqatshelwa kwelinye, ngelixa elinye lingabuqondi ubunzulu bale mfuno. Le asymmetry inokukhokelela ekukhungathekeni okufanayo, apho umfazi eziva engento kwaye enganeliseki luthando alufumanayo, kwaye apho indoda, ibona olu xinzelelo, inokuziva ibekwe ekhoneni okanye igxininiswe kwizinto ezilindelekileyo zeqabane.

Iziphumo zexesha elide

Ngexesha elide, le mfuneko yokuqinisekiswa ingakhokelela ukuziphatha ngokuzithoba okanye ukuzincama. Ukugcina uthando lomlingane wakhe, umfazi unokurhoxisa, ukunciphisa iimfuno zakhe, iminqweno kunye neminqweno. Usenokukhula notyekelo lokuzigxeka, apho atolika ukungabi nangqalelo okanye ukuqinisekiswa njengobungqina bokungafaneleki kwakhe. Lo mjikelo wokuxhomekeka unokukhokelela kungquzulwano, uqhekeko okanye kubudlelwane obungasebenziyo, njengoko owasetyhini, ngelixa enqwenela ukuziva ethandwa, angazibhaqa ekwiipateni zobudlelwane obungalungelelananga, ngakumbi namaqabane ane-narcissistic axhaphaza ukuba sesichengeni kwakhe.

Iimpembelelo kukuzithemba

Impembelelo yoku kuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo kukuzithemba kubaluleke kakhulu. Ngokusoloko enxulumanisa ukuzixabisa kwakhe nokuvunywa ngabanye, ibhinqa liyayishiya ingcamango yokuba ukuzithemba kwalo kufanele kube yinto engaphakathi. Oku kudala isangqa esikhohlakeleyo: okukhona efuna ukuzingqina esebenzisa abanye, kokukhona engakwazi ukuphuhlisa imvakalelo yokuzimela. Ugqiba ngokuzichonga ngokugqithisileyo kunye neqabane lakhe, elahlekelwa yimbono yakhe kwiimfuno kunye neminqweno yakhe, enokukhokelela ekulahlekelweni kwesazisi ngaphakathi kobudlelwane.

Umtsalane ngokubhekiselele kumadoda angama-narcissistic okanye akhohlisayo

THE I-Electra syndrome kunokubangela ukuba abanye abasetyhini babe sesichengeni ngakumbi amadoda anarcissistic okanye amaqhinga. Umnqweno wokuvelisa kwakhona utata-intombi eguquguqukayo unokumshukumisela ukuba akhethe amaqabane asebenzisa amandla angokweemvakalelo okanye ngokwasengqondweni phezu kwakhe, alawule imfuno yakhe yothando nokuqinisekiswa. Indoda ene-narcissistic, efuna ukuqwalaselwa rhoqo kwaye ixabise ukubaluleka kwayo, inokuhambelana nomfanekiso kayise onombono wokuba umfazi afune ukwanelisa ngazo zonke iindleko. Ngaloo ndlela unokuzibhaqa ekubudlelwane obuyityhefu, apho ephathwa kakubi, ejongelwa phantsi okanye exhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo, ngelixa ebambelele ethembeni lokufumana uthando okanye ukuqondwa okubonakala kungafikeleleki.

Ngaphezu koko, obu buthathaka bunokuphumela ekwamkeleni ihambo eyingozi kwicala likabani. Ibhinqa linokuzithethelela okanye lithethelele ukuziphatha kakubi, ngelixa lihlala lifuna ukwanelisa ukulindela kweqabane lakhe, licinga ukuba, ngaxa lithile, liya “kulufanelekela” uthando lwakhe. Le pateni yobudlelwane, iphenjelelwe yi I-Electra syndrome, kudla ngokuba nzima ukuqhawuka, kuba izalisekisa iimfuno zeemvakalelo ezendele nzulu kwasebuntwaneni.

Ubunzima bokuseka ubudlelwane obulinganayo

THE I-Electra syndrome inokudala kwakhona ubunzima bokuseka ubudlelwane njengabalinganayo namadoda. Imodeli yengqondo ezuzwe njengelifa kwasebuntwaneni, apho intombazana ibona uyise njengomntu ophakamileyo, inokwandisa ibe ngumdala, apho ibhinqa liqhubeka libona amadoda njengamanani anegunya okanye amandla. Oku kunokwenza kube nzima ukuseka ubudlelwane obulungeleleneyo, apho omabini amaqabane ebonana ngokulinganayo.

Kwiimeko ezithile, umfazi usenokutyekela thobela iminqweno okanye iimfuno zeqabane lakho, efuna ukukholisa okanye ukuhambelana nemodeli yakhe yereferensi yamadoda. Oku kunokukhokelela ekunqongophaleni konxibelelwano oluphilileyo kubudlelwane, apho owasetyhini uyasokola ukuvakalisa iminqweno yakhe okanye athethelele iimfuno zakhe kuba esoyika ukuphulukana nothando okanye imvume yeqabane lakhe. Oku kungalingani kunokukhokelela ekunganelisekini kwexesha elide, apho umfazi uya kuziva engaqondwa kakuhle, aze afuthaniswe, kodwa engazi ukuba aphume njani kule pateni.

Ukuqikelela izinto ezilindelekileyo kwiqabane

Ekugqibeleni, enye yeziphumo eziphambili ze I-Electra syndrome ikhona i ingqikelelo yezinto ezilindelekileyo kwiqabane eliyindoda. Emva kokuba efezekise utata wakhe ebuntwaneni, umfazi angakwazi, esazi okanye engazi, enze lo mfanekiso ufanelekileyo kubudlelwane bakhe bothando. Ulindele ukuba iqabane lakhe lizalisekise iimfuno ezinzulu zeemvakalelo, ezihlala zinxulunyaniswa nezikhewu zeemvakalelo kubudlelwane noyise. Ngaloo ndlela unokuba nethemba lokuba iqabane lakhe liya kuba ngumthombo wenkxaso engenamqathango, ukukhuselwa kunye nothando, ngaphandle kokuqonda ukuba oku kulindelekileyo akunakwenzeka ukwanelisa ngokupheleleyo kubudlelwane obudala.

Xa olu lindelo lungafezekiswanga, umfazi unokuziva edanile ngokunzulu okanye eziva engcatshiwe, ekholelwa ukuba iqabane lakhe alinako ukumnika uthando olumfaneleyo. Oku kuqikelelwa kunokudala uxinzelelo kunye nonxunguphalo kubudlelwane, kuba indoda, kwicala layo, inokungaqondi imvelaphi yezi mfuno zeemvakalelo. Ngenxa yoko, ibhinqa lisenokusuka kolunye ulwalamano liye kolunye, lifuna ngamandla indoda “egqibeleleyo” eya kuthi ekugqibeleni ihlangabezane nolindelo lwakhe, ngoxa isoloko iphoxeka xa inyaniso ingahambelani neengcamango zakhe.

Ngamafutshane, impembelelo ye I-Electra syndrome kubudlelwane namadoda ebudaleni buphawulwa ngotshintsho oluntsonkothileyo lokuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo, ukukhangela amanani ootata, ukuba sesichengeni kwii-manipulators kunye nobunzima bokuseka ubudlelwane njengabalinganayo. Ezi patheni zobudlelwane, ezihlala zivela kubudlelwane obungasonjululwanga nobawo, zinokukhokelela kubudlelwane obungasebenziyo, apho owasetyhini uyasokola ukufumana ulungelelwaniso olusempilweni phakathi kweemfuno zakhe zomphefumlo kunye nobunyani bamaqabane akhe.

Ukwahlukaniswa kwabazali, i-Electra & ii-narcissistic manipulators

L’ukwahlukana kwabazali, ngakumbi xa umama edlala indima ebalulekileyo kule nkqubo, unokuba nemiphumo ehlala ihleli neyingozi ekukhuleni kwengqondo yentombazana, nto leyo efak’ isandla ekubeni I-Electra syndrome Ubudlelwane obungasonjululwanga kunye ne-narcissistic ebudaleni. Nantsi indlela enokusetyenziswa ngayo lo matshini:

Ukwahlukaniswa kwabazali kunye nembono kabawo

Njengenxalenye yeukwahlukana kwabazali, Pha umama okhohlisayo inokumthoba okanye imjongele phantsi uyise emehlweni omntwana, idale umfanekiso ombi ngaye. Oku kuhla kwexabiso kunokubangela ukuba intombi izive iqhekekile phakathi kothando lwayo ngoyise nokunyaniseka kunina. Usenokuziva ecinezelekile ukuba abe kwicala likamama, nto leyo enokukhokelela ekubeni usukuzwano naye, egxininisa ungquzulwano lukayise nentombi kunye ubutyala edibene nobudlelwane bakhe noyise. Ngaloo ndlela, umntwana uvelisa imbono egqwethekileyo ngoyise, oba yi into yeminqweno ephikisanayo, emnyanzela ukuba anqule umfanekiso othi, eneneni, uchazwe kuye njengosilelayo okanye owenzakalisayo.

Ukwakhiwa kwesazisi kunye nokutshintshana kukamama nentombi

Ukwahlukaniswa kwabazali kunokuchaphazela ukwakhiwa kwesazisi sentombi. Ngokufumana imiyalezo engalunganga ngoyise, unokuphuhla a imbono egqwethekileyo yendima kabani kutshintsho lwentsapho. Oku kunokubangela ukuchongwa okunamandla kumama, okukhokelela ekubeni a utshintsho lweemvakalelo nangokwengqondo apho intombi iziva ingquzulana phakathi kweminqweno yayo yokuzimela kunye nolindelo lukanina. Oku kuchongwa kunokukhokelela kukhuphiswano olusisigxina, apho intombi ifuna ukudlula unina, izama ukubonisa ukufaneleka kwayo, kodwa ingaze ifezekise ukulinganisela ngokweemvakalelo.

I-Electra Syndrome engasonjululwanga

L’ukwahlukana kwabazali ngqo igalelo a I-Electra syndrome engasonjululwanga ukuthintela ubudlelwane obunempilo kunye noyise. Umntwana akakwazi ukuhlakulela ukudibanisa okulinganayo kulo mfanekiso wesilisa, kwaye oku kungabikho koxhumo oluphilileyo kukhokelela ekulungiseni uyise, oye wabonwa njengento engenakufikeleleka okanye ephantsi. Olu ngquzulwano ludala a ipateni yokuncamathela engalungelelananga, apho intombi ixhomekeka kwimvume kayise ngoxa ivakalelwa ngokunzulu kukungafikeleleki ngokweemvakalelo. Le meko ivelisa ukhangelo olunzulu lothando kunye nokuqinisekiswa okunokuthi kumkhokelele ekubeni angene kubudlelwane obungasebenziyo njengomntu omdala.

Ubudlelwane kunye namaqabane narcissistic

Ukukhula, ibhinqa elaliphantsiukwahlukana kwabazali kwaye wahlala a I-Electra syndrome Ukungasonjululwanga kunokuba sesichengeni ngakumbi kubudlelwane namaqabane e-narcissistic. La madoda, ahlala enomtsalane kwaye enomtsalane, ekuqaleni asenokubonakala ehlangabezana neemfuno zakhe ezingokweemvakalelo, kodwa isimo sawo sokuzingca nesobuqhophololo siwenza mandundu umjikelo wokuxhomekeka. Owasetyhini, ekubeni emiselwe ukuba afune imvume kumadoda angamadoda, angazifumanisa elungiselela amaqabane e-narcissistic athi, ngelixa ezalisekisa iminqweno yakhe yothando, aphele exhaphaza ukuba sesichengeni kwakhe.

Uloyiko lokulahlwa, olukhuliswa ngamava okuhlukaniswa kwabazali, luqinisa olu tshintsho, lutyhalela umfazi ukuba amkele ukuziphatha kakubi ukuze alondoloze ubudlelwane, ngendlela efanayo awafunda ngayo ukugcina ubuhlobo kunye noyise nangona ukusilela. Uloyiko lokulahlekelwa ngumsa weqabane le-narcissistic lunokukhokelela ekuziphatheni okuzithobayo kunye nokungabikho kwemida, okwenza kube nzima ukuqhawula lo mjikelo wobudlelwane owonakalisayo.

Abaphandi abasebenza kwi-complex ye-Electra

Abaphandi abaliqela kwizengqondo kunye ne-psychoanalysis baye bafunda kwaye benza nzulu ingcamango Electra complex, ngalinye lizisa imbono eyahlukileyo kwesi siganeko.

UCarl Jung: Umyili wengcamango ye-Electra complex

UCarl Jung ngumbhali weli gama Electra complex, awathi wazisa ukwahlula uyise-intombi eguquguqukayo ukusuka kumama-unyana oguquguqukayo kwi-psychoanalysis. UJung wayefuna ukugxininisa ukuba amantombazana ahamba kwisigaba sophuhliso apho ukuncamathela kubawo kungundoqo nalapho umama unokubonwa njengembangi.

Ngokutsho kukaJung, i Electra complex yindlela yendalo yophuhliso lwengqondo, kodwa ethi, xa ingasonjululwanga kakuhle, inokukhokelela ekuphazamisekeni ngokweemvakalelo xa umntu emdala.

THE I-Electra syndrome, ngamanye amaxesha isetyenziswa ngokutshintshanayo ne Electra complex, ligama le-psychoanalytic elaziswa nguCarl Jung ukuchaza ukuguquka kwengqondo ethile phakathi kwentombi kunye noyise. Le ngcamango iphefumlelwe yintsomi yamaGrike, apho u-Electra yintombi ka-Agamemnon enentiyo enzulu ngonina, uClytemnestra, emva kokubulawa kukayise. Kumbono weJungian, i I-Electra syndrome ibonisa ukuzinzisa okungaziyo enokuthi intombi iphuhlisele kuyise, ehlala iphawulwa ngumtsalane onamandla weemvakalelo kwaye, kwezinye iimeko, ukukhuphisana ngokuthe ngqo nomama.

UCarl Jung, ngokudala ingqiqo ye Electra complex, wayefuna ukugqiba ingcamango kaFreud ye-Oedipus complex, eyayichaza ubudlelwane bomama nonyana. UJung waqaphela ukuba iintombi zikwadlula kwisigaba esinzima sokwabelana ngesondo ngokwesini, apho ziye zibe nobudlelwane obunamandla ngokweemvakalelo ngoyise, zihlala zikhatshwa yimvakalelo yokukhuphisana nomama wazo ukuze ahoywe. KuJung, le ngxabano yomama-intombi kunye nokudibanisa noyise akuyomfuneko ukuba ibe yi-pathological, kodwa yindlela eqhelekileyo yophuhliso. Nangona kunjalo, xa esi sifo singasonjululwanga ebuntwaneni, sinokuba nefuthe elibi kubudlelwane bothando bomfazi kunye nosapho ebudaleni.

THE I-Electra syndrome, kwimbono kaJung, ngoko ke yinto eyenzeka ngokugqithiswa ngokungazi apho intombi iphrojekthi yendoda kuyise, idala ipateni yobudlelwane enokuthi iphindwe kamva ebomini. Ukuba olu ngquzulwano alusonjululwanga ngokufanelekileyo, lunokukhokelela kwimiba yokuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo, ukutyekela ekufuneni amanani angamadoda anegunya, okanye ubunzima bokuseka ubudlelwane obuphilileyo nabanye abafazi. U-Carl Jung wabona le syndrome njengenxalenye ebalulekileyo yokuphuhliswa kwesazisi sowesifazane, impembelelo enkulu kwindlela umfazi azijonga ngayo kubudlelwane bakhe nabanye kunye nesiqu sakhe.

USigmund Freud: Ingcingane ye-Oedipus complex

Nangona Sigmund Freud ayizange iphuhlise ingcamango ye Electra complex, umsebenzi wakhe kwi I-Oedipus complex ibe nefuthe kakhulu ekuqondweni kweentshukumo zosapho. UFreud wayekholelwa ukuba amantombazana aye anomtsalane kooyise ngexesha leOdipal, nangona engazange akubone kuyimfuneko ukwahlula le ntshukumo kuleyo yamakhwenkwe.

UFreud wabona esi sigaba njengenkqubo yendalo yophuhliso lwengqondo yesini, ekufuneka yoyiswe ukuze umntwana enze ubudlelwane obunempilo njengomntu omdala.

UMelanie Klein: Ukuqinisa ubudlelwane phakathi kukamama nomntwana

UMelanie Klein, isazi ngengqondo saseBritani, saba negalelo kuhlolisiso oluphathelele ulwalamano lwentsapho kugxininiswa ngokukhethekileyo kwiqhina likamama nomntwana. Umsebenzi wakhe unikeze ukuqonda okungcono ukhuphiswano phakathi kwentombi kunye nomama, kunye nefuthe lobudlelwane babazali bokuqala kwi-psyche.

U-Klein ubonise ukuba olu hlaselo lungazi nto nomama lunokuba neziphumo zexesha elide, luphembelela indlela abasetyhini abakha ngayo ubudlelwane bobufazi xa bebadala.

UNancy Chodorow: Ukuveliswa kweendima zabazali

Nancy Chodorow yingcali yengqondo yaseMelika kunye nesazi ngezentlalo esifunde iindima zesini kusapho kunye nokuzala kwazo kwizizukulwana ngezizukulwana. UChodorow ubalule ukubaluleka kobudlelwane bokuqala kunye nootata noomama ekwakhiweni kweempawu zesini nezeemvakalelo zabantwana.

Ubonise indlela abafazi abanokuvelisa ngayo ngokungazi iipateni ezithile zobudlelwane abazibonileyo kusapho lwabo, kubandakanywa namandla Electra complex.

Uluhlu lweencwadi

Nalu ukhetho lweencwadi kunye neetekisi zereferensi ukwenza nzulu ukuqonda Electra complex kunye neentshukumo zosapho:

  1. Carl Jung – Psychologie de l’inconscient (1912)
  2. Sigmund Freud – Totem et Tabou (1913)
  3. Melanie Klein – Amour, culpabilité et réparation (1937)
  4. Nancy Chodorow – The Reproduction of Mothering (1978)
  5. Françoise Dolto – Le complexe du homard (1984)
  6. Julia Kristeva – Histoires d’amour (1985)

Le misebenzi ibonelela ngeembono ezibalulekileyo zokuqonda amandla osapho kunye neempembelelo zawo kuphuhliso ngokwasengqondweni kwamantombazana.

Ngaba ufuna ukuthetha nomntu oqondayo?

I-Cristina ixhasa amaxhoba e-narcissistic manipulators iminyaka. Isicwangciso sesenzo esibambekayo ukusuka kutshintshiselwano lokuqala. Iseshini yoqeqesho lwevidiyo yomntu ngamnye (iSkype okanye iWhatsApp) — €100 ngeseshoni nganye.

Bhukisha iseshoni yam nganye nge-Cristina

Want to break free from this hold?

The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.

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Want to break free from this hold?

The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.

Discover the release + oil

All releases (PDF books) · Essential oils

Want to break free from this hold?

The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.

Discover the release + oil

All releases (PDF books) · Essential oils

Want to break free from this hold?

The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.

Discover the release + oil

All releases (PDF books) · Essential oils