Kutheni le nto ii-narcissists ezikhohlisayo zingabathandi abantwana babo?

Iqhina eliphakathi komzali nomntwana ligqalwa lingcwele ehlabathini lonke. Ngelishwa, olu lwalamano lunzulu lunokonakala xa umzali e-narcissistic. Eli nqaku liphonononga izizathu zokuba abazali be-narcissistic abanakukwazi ukubathanda ngokwenene abantwana babo, ngaloo ndlela benikela ingcaciso kumaxhoba ala mandla eentsapho eziyityhefu.

Umfanekiso kawonke-wonke uthatha indawo yokuqala ngaphezu kothando lokwenyani

Abazali be-Narcissistic babeka ukubaluleka okungafaniyo kwimbonakalo yabo yoluntu. Ukuziphatha kwabo kubantwana babo kubonisa oku:

• Esidlangalaleni, baphuphuma uthando, bedlala indima yomzali ofezekileyo.
• Xa bebucala, babonakala bekude kwaye bengenamdla.
• Oku kubini kudala ukudideka ngokweemvakalelo emntwaneni, kubangele ukuncamathela okubuhlungu.

Injongo asiyiyo impilo-ntle yomntwana, kodwa kukunconywa ngabanye.

Ingcamango elahlekisayo yenqanaba lomntwana omncinci

I-Narcissists inomdla oqinileyo kubantwana babo basebancinci. Nasi isizathu:

• Abantwana abancinci baxhomekeke ngokupheleleyo, umthombo wokuqinisekiswa rhoqo.
• Ukuthobela kwabo kubonwa njengendlela egqibeleleyo yokubonelela nge-narcissistic.
• Eli xesha linika abazali be-narcissistic ingqalelo eninzi kunye nezincomo ezivela kwabanye.

Lo msa ubonakala eneneni luthando oluphezulwana kuphela nolokuzingca.

Imfuneko yolawulo kunye nokuthotyelwa

Njengoko umntwana ekhula, umzali we-narcissistic ufuna ukugcina ulawulo lwakhe:

• Bamisela umntwana ngokomfanekiso wabo.
• Nakuphi na ukubonakaliswa komntu ngamnye kubonwa njengesisongelo.
• Umntwana uba yinto elula yokwandisa umzali, ngaphandle kobunikazi bakhe.

Olu lawulo luthintela ukukhula kwendalo kunye nokuzaliseka komntwana. Olu lawulo lukwangqina ukuba i-narcissistic manipulator ayibathandi abantwana babo.

Uthando olunemiqathango nolwenziwayo

Ngokungafaniyo nothando lwabazali olunempilo, uthando lwe-narcissist lunemiqathango:

• Uthando lusekelwe kwintsebenzo kunye nokuhambelana nokulindela.
• Umntwana uxabiswa kuphela xa ebonakalisa kakuhle kwi-parent.
• Lo mqathango udala i-emotional ukungazinzi esisigxina emntwaneni.

Umntwana ufunda ngokukhawuleza ukuba uthando lufanele “lufaneleke”, lube yingozi yokuzithemba kwakhe.

Ukusebenzisa abantwana njengesiqhelo

Abazali abangamaNarcissistic baxhaphaza abantwana babo:

• Bazisebenzisa njengeentsinjana kubuchule babo.
• Abantwana baba ngabalamleli okanye abanyangi kwiingxabano zabantu abadala.
• Zisebenza njengezixhobo zokohlwaya omnye umzali okanye ukufumana impembelelo.
• the infernal spiral yobundlobongela be-narcissistic pervert

Oku kuxhaphaza ngokweemvakalelo kushiya iziphumo ezinzulu.

Uthando njengesixhobo sokuqinisekisa uluntu

Uthando lwabazali be-narcissistic ngumboniso ojoliswe kwabanye:

• Esidlangalaleni, baphuphuma uthando nengqalelo ebantwaneni babo.
• Kwimfihlo, bahlala bezimele kwaye bengenamdla.
• Le ndlela yokuziphatha ye-Jekyll kunye ne-Hyde yenza i-traumatic bond kumntwana.

Injongo asilothando, kodwa kukunconywa ngabanye.

Ukwenziwa kwezixhobo zabantwana ngumxhasi we-narcissistic

Abazali beNarcissistic basebenzisa abantwana babo njengezixhobo zokukhohlisa:

• Abantwana baba ngamaxhoba kwiingxabano zabantu abadala.
• Bathwaliswe uxanduva lweemvakalelo ezingaphaya kwamandla abo.
• Abantwana basetyenziswa njengezixhobo ngokuchasene nomnye umzali okanye ukufumana impembelelo.

Oku kuxhaphaza ngokweemvakalelo kuthintela naluphi na uthando lokwenene ekukhuleni.

Ukufuna umfanekiso wosapho ogqibeleleyo

Ukuthanda ukugqibelela kosapho kubachaphazela kakhulu abantwana:

• Kugxilwe kwinkangeleko kunye nempumelelo, kungekhona ukuba sempilweni ngokweemvakalelo.
• Olu xinzelelo ludala iindima ezinobuthi: umntwana wegolide, i-scapegoat, njl.
• Abantwana balahlekelwa bubuntu babo bezama ukuhlangabezana nolu lindelo lungekho ngqiqweni.

Olu tshintsho lwentsapho lungasebenziyo luqhubela phambili umjikelo we-narcissism.

Ukukhetha njengesixhobo sokulawula

Abazali beNarcissistic basebenzisa ukukhetha ukugcina ulawulo:

• Omnye umntwana uyathandwa ngaphezu kwabanye.
• Olu khetho ludala iyantlukwano phakathi kwabazalwana noodade.
• Ukhetho alusekelwanga kuthando, kodwa kwinkohliso.

Esi sicwangciso siqinisekisa ulawulo lomzali we-narcissistic phezu kwesakhiwo sosapho.

Ingcamango elahlekisayo yobuntwana

IiNarcissists zilungiselela ixesha laxa abantwana babo besebancinci:

• Bakuxabisa ukuxhomekeka ngokupheleleyo kunye nokuthobela kwabantwana abancinci.
• Esi sigaba sibonelela ngokuqinisekiswa rhoqo kwendima yabo yobuzali.
• Ngokukhawuleza xa umntwana ehlakulela ubuntu bakhe, i-narcissist ibonisa imibala yakhe yokwenyani.

Oku kulunga kungqina kuphela ukuba i-narcissistic manipulator ayibathandi abantwana babo. Yindlela nje yokubonelela nge-narcissistic.

Iimbekiselo zeBibliographic

Ukuphonononga lo mbandela nzulu ngakumbi, nazi iimbekiselo ezisixhenxe zebhayografi kwisiFrentshi:

1. “Abaphathi kunye nothando” ngu-Isabelle Nazare-Aga (2005).
2. “Ukuxhatshazwa ngokuziphatha: ubundlobongela obugwenxa imihla ngemihla” nguMarie-France Hirigoyen (1998).
3. “Abazali abakhohlisayo: indlela yokuphepha iimpembelelo zabo” ngu-Isabelle Nazare-Aga (2013).
4. “Ii-Narcissistic manipulators” nguJean-Charles Bouchoux (2010).
5. “Ukutshatyalaliswa kwee-narcisists: ukuqonda kunye nokuphepha impembelelo yabo” nguYvane Wiart (2017).
6. “Abazali Abanetyhefu: Indlela Yokubalekela Ukubamba Kwabo” nguSusan Forward (2002).
7. “I-Cinderella complex: abafazi aboyika ukuphumelela” nguColette Dowling (1981).

Le misebenzi inika uhlalutyo oluneenkcukacha kunye neengxelo malunga nendlela iimpawu zokuziphatha zabazali ezinokuchaphazela ngayo ukukwazi ukuthanda nokuxhasa abantwana babo ngeendlela eziphilileyo.

Ukuqukumbela

Ukuqukumbela, abazali be-narcissistic abakwazi ukuba nothando lokwenyani nolungenamiqathango kubantwana babo. Ubudlelwane babo busekelwe kulawulo, umfanekiso kunye nokuxhaphaza ngokweemvakalelo. Ukuqaphela ezi patheni linyathelo lokuqala lokuphiliswa kwamaxhoba ezi ntshukumo zosapho zinetyhefu.

Ukuba uyazazi ukuba ukuwe kwezi meko, yazi ukuba akuwedwa. Kuyenzeka ukuba uqhawule lo mjikelo kwaye uphinde wakhe ukuzithemba okunempilo. Ungalibazisi ukuthetha ngayo.