Ubuqhophololo babazali: Ukuqonda olu gadalala lwenarcissistic

Ukuba usinde kubudlelwane kunye ne-narcissistic manipulator, mhlawumbi uye wadibana neendlela ezininzi zokukhohlisa. Noko ke, mhlawumbi enye yezona zinto zichuliweyo nezonakalisayo kukukhohlisa kwabazali. Olu hlobo lokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo lunokuba neziphumo ezibi kuwe nakubantwana bakho. Kweli nqaku, siza kuphonononga ngokunzulu ukukhohlisa kwabazali kunye nemiphumo yako.

Iimpawu zeTelltale zeNarcissistic Manipulation yabazali

Ukukhohlisa kwabazali okwenziwa nguyise okanyeumama okhohlisayoinokuthatha iindlela ezininzi. Nazi ezinye iimpawu ekufuneka uziqwalasele:

• Using Abantwana Njengesixhobo: I-narcissist inokusebenzisa abantwana ukuze ikuchukumise ngokwasemphefumlweni, ngokubajikisa okanye ibasebenzise njengeetshiphu zengxoxo.
• Triangulation: Unokwenza umanyano nabanye abantwana ngelixa engabandakanyi abanye, ngaloo ndlela etyala ukungavisisani kusapho.
• Ukonakaliswa kwegunya lakho labazali: I-narcissist ingahlala izibuza izigqibo zakho zobuzali phambi kwabantwana, ijongela phantsi ukuthembeka kwakho.
• Umzali: Abantwana banokunyanzelwa ukuba babe ngumzali okanye umntu onokuzityand’ igila, nto leyo enzima kakhulu kwiminyaka yabo.
• Emotional blackmail: I-narcissist inokugrogrisa ngokulurhoxisa uthando okanye inkxaso yakhe ukuba abantwana abavumelani noko akulindeleyo.

Oonobangela bokuqhathwa kwabazali

Ukukhohlisa kwabazali yinto entsonkothileyo enokuba nemvelaphi eyahlukeneyo. Nazi izizathu eziphambili ezinokuthi zikhokelele umzali ukuba athathe ukuziphatha kakubi kumntwana wakhe:

1. UImiba yengqondo esonjululweyo: Ukwenzakala kwasebuntwaneni, ukungazithembi, okanye ukuphazamiseka kobuntu kunokubangela umzali arhwebeshe umntwana wakhe ukuze ahlangabezane neemfuno zakhe zeemvakalelo.
2. Imfuneko egqithisileyo yolawulo: Abanye abazali banobunzima bokukwamkela ukukhula kokuzimela komntwana wabo baze basebenzise ubuqhetseba ukugcina ulawulo lwabo.
3. Ukoyika ukulahlwa : Ukoyika ukuphulukana nothando okanye ingqalelo yomntwana kunokukhokelela ekuziphatheni okukhohlisayo okujolise ekudaleni ukuxhomekeka ngokweemvakalelo.
4. Ukucingela amabhongo kabani : Abazali banokukhohlisa umntwana wabo ukuze bafezekise amaphupha abangakwaziyo ukuwafezekisa.
5. Ukunqongophala kwezakhono zokukhulisa abantwana: Abanye abazali babhenela ekuqhubeni abanye bengazi, iindlela zemfundo ezisempilweni.
6. Dysfunctional family context : Iingxabano zasemtshatweni, uqhawulo-mtshato olunzima okanye ukusukuzana kweentsapho kunokukhokelela ekuziphatheni ngendlela ekhohlisayo emntwaneni.
7. I-Narcissism yaBazali: Umzali one-narcissism unokubona umntwana wakhe njengozandiso lwesiqu sakhe aze amqhathe ukuze anelise isiqu sakhe.
8. Uxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo lwangaphandle: Ubunzima bezezimali, obuchwephesha okanye bentlalontle bunokunyanzela umzali ukuba aqhathe umntwana wakhe ukuze agcine ifacade yempumelelo.
9. Ukuveliswa kwakhona kweepateni zosapho: Umzali naye owayelixhoba lokuxhatshazwa ebuntwaneni bakhe unokuphinda enze ezi ziphatha engaziva.
10. Ukuxhalaba ngokugqithiseleyo: Ukuxhalaba ngokugqithiseleyo ngempilo-ntle yomntwana kunokukhokelela ekukhuseleni ngokugqithiseleyo kunye nokuziphatha okukhohlisayo.

Ukuqonda ezi zizathu kubalulekile ukuze kuthintelwe kwaye kunyangwe ukuphathwa kakubi kwabazali, ngokunika inkxaso efanelekileyo kwiintsapho ezichaphazelekayo.

Ifuthe elibi lokuphathwa kakubi kwabazali ebantwaneni

Abantwana abavezwe kulawulo lwabazali kwi-narcissistic manipulator banokuba neziphumo ezibi zexesha elide:

1. Izinto zokuzixabisa: Abantwana banokuziva bengazithembi, bahlale beziva bengafaneleki xa bejongana nolindelo olungekho ngqiqweni lomzali.
2. Ubunzima bobudlelwane: Basenokusokola ukwakha ubudlelwane obunempilo njengabantu abadala, bahlala bephindaphinda iipatheni eziyityhefu abazifumana ebuntwaneni babo.
3. Ukuxhalaba kunye nokudakumba: Indawo engazinzanga kunye noxinzelelo oludalwe kukuxhaphaza kwabazali kunokukhokelela kwiingxaki zempilo yengqondo ezihlala zihleli.
4. Ukubhideka ngokweemvakalelo: Abantwana banokuba nobunzima bokuchonga nokuvakalisa ezabo iimvakalelo, emva kokuba befunde ukuzicinezela ukuze banelise umzali onenkani.
5. Iimvakalelo zokuba netyala: Basenokuziva benoxanduva ngeengxaki zentsapho kwaye bathwale umthwalo ongeyomfuneko ngokweemvakalelo.

Ukwakha kwakhona ubudlelwane obunempilo kunye nabantwana bakho emva kokuphathwa kakubi

Ukuphinda ube nentembelo kubantwana bakho emva kwethuba elithile lokuxhatshazwa ngabazali kunokubonakala kunzima, kodwa kunokwenzeka. Nantsi indlela yokwenza:

• Thembeka: Chaza imeko ebantwaneni bakho ngokweminyaka yobudala, ngaphandle kokumtyhola omnye umzali.
• Mamela ngokukhutheleyo: Mamela izinto ezibaxhalabisayo kunye neemvakalelo zabo ngaphandle kokugweba.
• Hlonipha isantya sabo: Musa ukunyanzela uxolelwaniso, vumela abantwana bakho bahambe ngesantya sabo.
• Khokela ngomzekelo: Bonisa ukuziphatha okunempilo kunye nemida ecacileyo kubudlelwane bakho.
• Yenza iinkumbulo ezintsha ezintle: Chitha ixesha elisemgangathweni nabantwana bakho ukomeleza ubudlelwane bakho.

Unxulumano phakathi koBuqhetseba baBazali kunye nokuxhatshazwa kweNarcissistic

Ukuphathwa gadalala kwabazali kunye ne-narcissistic zizinto ezimbini ezisondeleleneyo ezinokuba neziphumo ezibi kakhulu kuphuhliso nakwintlalontle yabantwana ngokwasengqondweni. Abazali beNarcissistic bahlala besebenzisa amaqhinga okukhohlisa ukugcina ulawulo lwabantwana babo kwaye banelise iimfuno zabo zeemvakalelo.

Nanga amanye amanqaku aphambili kolu nxulumaniso:

1. Iinjongo zokuZicingela: Abazali beNarcissistic bakhohlisa abantwana babo ukuze bafeze iimfuno zabo kunokuba ezo zomntwana.
2. Ulawulo lweemvakalelo: Ukukhohlisa kusetyenziswa ukulawula iimvakalelo nokuziphatha komntwana, kumenza axhomekeke kwimvume yabazali.
3. Ukungabi naluvelwano: Abazali abasebenzisa iNarcissistic banobunzima bokuqonda iimfuno zeemvakalelo zabantwana babo, bejolise kwiminqweno yabo kuphela.
4. Triangulation: Basenokusebenzisa ubuqhetseba ukutyhola abantwana omnye komnye okanye omnye umzali.
5. Ityala: Abantwana basoloko besenziwa bazive benetyala ukuba abafikeleli kulindelo olungekho ngqiqweni lwabazali babo.
6. Umjikelo wezizukulwana: Ngaphandle kokungenelela, ezi ndlela zokuziphatha zinokuqhutyelwa kwisizukulwana ukuya kwesinye.

Iimbekiselo zebhayibhiliyografi malunga nokukhohlisa kwabazali

1. Cyr, F., & Poitras, M. (2010). L’aliénation parentale : Un phénomène complexe et multidimensionnel. Revue Québécoise de Psychologie, 31(2), 23-42.
2. Vercors, A., & Jaffé, P. (2009). Le syndrome d’aliénation parentale : Critiques et réflexions cliniques. Cahiers Critiques de Thérapie Familiale et de Pratiques de Réseaux, 43, 77-91.
3. Fishel, A., & Bauman, L. (2012). Manipulations parentales et conséquences sur le développement de l’enfant. Revue Française de Psychiatrie et de Psychologie Médicale, 56(1), 67-80.
4. Courtois, C. (2008). Les impacts de la manipulation parentale sur la relation parent-enfant : Une analyse psychologique. Psychologie Clinique et Psychopathologie, 25(4), 55-69.
5. Giroux, P., & Tesseron, J. (2015). Manipulation et conflit familial : Une approche juridique et psychologique. Revue de Droit Familial, 12(2), 102-123.
6. Faure, S. (2017). L’instrumentalisation de l’enfant dans les conflits parentaux. Revue de Psychologie du Développement, 36(3), 45-58.
7. Jousselme, C., & Leblanc, J. (2020). Les nouvelles formes de manipulation parentale dans les familles recomposées. Archives de Psychologie Sociale et Familiale, 29(1), 89-108.

Ukuqukumbela

Ukuqukumbela, ukuxhaphaza abazali luhlobo oluyingozi ngokukhethekileyo lokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo olunokushiya amanxeba anzulu. Nangona kunjalo, ngomonde, inkxaso kunye nezicwangciso ezifanelekileyo, kunokwenzeka ukuba uzikhulule kuyo kwaye wakhe kwakhona ubomi bentsapho obunempilo kunye nokwanelisayo. Khumbula ukuba womelele kunokuba ucinga kwaye ufanelwe bubomi obungenakulawulwa. Inkalipho nokuzimisela kwakho ukuphelisa lo mjikelo woxhatshazo yinkuthazo hayi ebantwaneni bakho kuphela.