Emotional manipulator – mungamuzindikire bwanji?

Un maganizo manipulator amatengera njira iyi yonyenga kuti athe kulamulira wina. Opotoka a Narcissistic ndi omwe ali okhulupirika kwambiri ku kachitidwe kameneka kameneka, kaya paubwenzi kapena kuntchito. Kodi njira za manipulators ndi ziti? Kodi mbiri ya wozunzidwayo ndi wotani? Kodi mungachoke bwanji m’manja mwake? Mudzapeza mayankho a mafunso amenewa m’nkhani ino.

Njira 10 zowongolera malingaliro kuti mudziwe

Ndikofunikira kudziwa njira zowongolera malingaliro. Nazi zitsanzo:

1. Safuna kuchita kalikonse

Le woyendetsa maganizo amakana kuchita zimene wozunzidwayo amupempha kuti achite. Nthawi zina sakana mwachindunji koma amaonetsa momveka bwino kuti sangachite zimenezo. Koma nthawi zambiri amakana nthawi yomweyo wozunzidwayo akamuuza kuti achite zinazake. M’malo mwake, wonyengayo safuna kuchita chilichonse chifukwa amakhala wopanda chiyembekezo nthawi zonse.

2. Kungonyozetsa ena

Nthawi zambiri, kusokoneza maganizo Nthawi zonse zimakhala manyazi. Adzayesa kutsimikizira kudzikuza kwake kuti angathe kuchita chilichonse. Chifukwa chake, wozunzidwayo adzatembenukira kwa iye kuti amvetse bwino nkhaniyi. Zoonadi, wonyenga nthawi zonse amayesetsa kusonyeza kuti ndi wapamwamba kuposa wina aliyense.

3. Onyenga amapotoza zenizeni

Wozunzidwayo amadzipeza ali wokayikira komanso wosatsimikizika. Izi ndi zotsatira za zomwe mnzake akumuuza. Womalizayo nthawi zonse amasintha zenizeni ndi cholinga chokhacho chopangitsa kukayikira mwa wozunzidwayo. Chotsatira chake n’chakuti wozunzidwayo sadziŵanso chowonadi. Kuti mutuluke mu gawo ili, ndikofunikira kwambiri kufunafuna thandizo kuchokera kwa katswiri ngati katswiri wa zamaganizo. Iye adzadziwa bwino mmene angakuthandizireni.

4. Nthawi zonse amakakamiza ena

Ndizowona kuti wosokoneza maganizo nthawi zonse amalimbana ndi anthu omwe ali pachiopsezo kwambiri. Choncho, sizitengera zambiri kutsimikizira wozunzidwayo kuti asankhe. Kuti wozunzidwayo asakhale ndi nthawi yoganizira za yankho lake, amayamba kumukakamiza. Pamenepa, wozunzidwayo amangotsatira malangizo a munthu wonyenga kuti asatenge nthawi yambiri. Ichi ndiye cholinga cha manipulator.

5. Wonyenga amayandikira mofulumira kwambiri

Kotero kuti wozunzidwayo amutsegulire mwachindunji, ndi narcissistic wopotoza nthawi yomweyo amadziwonetsa yekha ngati munthu wokhulupirika, amene amamvetsera ndipo sadzamuweruza. Koma, ndi njira yokhayo yomwe amatengera kuti adziwe zofooka za munthu amene ali patsogolo pake. Chifukwa chake, ndikofunikira kuti musakhulupirire mwachangu kuti musagwere mumsampha wosokoneza malingaliro.

6. Nthawi zonse amatenga malo a wozunzidwayo

Wozunzidwayo akayamba kumvetsetsa kasewero kake kakang’ono, wonyengayo amayesa kumupangitsa kumva kuti ndi wolakwa. Choncho, adzachita zonse kuti atsimikizire kuti iye ndi wozunzidwa m’nkhaniyi. Zikatere, wozunzidwayo sayenera kudzilungamitsa kwa iye koma kungopempha thandizo kwa katswiri kuti amuthandize kuthetsa vutoli.

7. Nthawi zambiri yesetsani kupangitsa anthu kumva chisoni

Kuti alamulire munthu wozunzidwayo, wonyengayo adzawabweretsera mlandu winawake. Nthawi zina amakhala waukali komanso wankhanza kwambiri kwa wozunzidwayo yemwe amatha kukangana akamalankhula za vuto lomwe lili m’banjamo. Mukakumana ndi izi, ndizotheka kuti wozunzidwayo amve ululu.

8. Amangonena zoipa;

Kuti ayambitse kukaikira kowonjezereka mwa wogwiriridwayo, wonyengayo amathera nthaŵi yake kunena zoipa ponena za iye mwamseri ndi pagulu. Njira yonyenga imeneyi imagwiritsidwa ntchito kwambiri chifukwa imabisala vuto la kusadzidalira pakati pa anthu onyenga. Kuti atulukemo, wogwiriridwayo ayenera kusonyeza momveka bwino kuti ayenera kulemekezedwa.

9. Amakhala osatekeseka m’malo mongofotokoza maganizo awo

Pakhoza kukhala nthawi yomwe wonyengayo amakhala chete ndipo samanyalanyaza munthu wake. Ndipotu ndi njira imene amagwiritsira ntchito kumulanga. Njirayi imapewa vuto kwa onse omwe akukhudzidwa koma silipangitsa kuti lizimiririka. Ichi ndichifukwa chake tikulimbikitsidwa kuti nthawi zonse muzikambirana zomwe zikulakwika muubwenzi wanu.

10. Osokoneza maganizo amapezerapo mwayi pa zofooka za anthu ena

Mukakhala ndi nthawi yambiri ndi munthu wokonda kusokoneza maganizo, m’pamenenso amapezerapo mwayi pa zofooka zanu. Kuwongolera kumapita bwino kwambiri pamene munthuyo akudziwa zofooka za wozunzidwayo. Kuti aleke kuchita zimenezi, wogwiriridwayo ayenera kuika malire pakati pawo ndi mnzawo amene amasokoneza maganizo.

Nkaambo nzi ncotweelede kucinca?

Les ozunzidwa ndi anthu opotoka mwankhanza ndipo wosokoneza maganizo amakumana ndi mavuto aakulu. Odwala ambiri amawonetsa zizindikiro zotsatirazi:

• Pamaso pa munthu wankhanza, wozunzidwayo samamva kukhala wotetezeka ngakhale pang’ono.
• Wogwiriridwayo nthawi zonse amakhala ndi nkhawa komanso wokhumudwa.
• Sadzidalira konse.
• Nthawi yomweyo amadzipatula kudziko kuyambira chiyambi cha ubale wake ndi manipulator.
• Wozunzidwayo amasowa tulo komanso amavutika kudya.
• Kupsinjika nthawi zonse.
• Kusintha kwachangu m’makhalidwe.

N’chifukwa chiyani kusokoneza maganizo kumachitika?

Aliyense akhoza kugwidwa ndi munthu wosokoneza maganizo. Kumbali ina, amakonda kugonjetsa bwino anthu omwe ali pachiwopsezo, omwe amakhudzidwa kwambiri ndikuyang’ana munthu amene angawapatse chikondi.

Ngati muli ndi umunthu wotsatirawu, muyenera kusamala chifukwa ndiwe chandamale cha anthu onyenga:

• Mwakonzeka kusiya chilichonse kuti musangalale mnzanu.
• Nthawi zonse mumafunika chilolezo cha mnzanu musanachite chilichonse.
• Nthawi zonse mumavomereza kuti mukulakwitsa mukasemphana maganizo ngakhale sizili choncho.
• Simungathe kukana zomwe ena akupemphani.
• Inu muli mkati kusadzidalira.

Emotional manipulator – Kodi mungachoke bwanji m’manja mwanu?

Kuti atuluke m’manja mwa munthu wosokoneza maganizo, chinthu choyamba chofunika ndi chakuti wozunzidwayo ali akudziwa za mkhalidwe wake. Kenako, wozunzidwayo asaganize kuti mnzakeyo asintha pambuyo pa pempho lake. Popeza wonyenga sangasinthe atamupempha mophweka.

Wozunzidwayo akuyenera kukhalabe tcheru chifukwa izi zikachitika, wonyengayo adzinamizira kuti ndiye wazunzidwa. Pa nthawiyi, chinthu chabwino kwambiri kuti wozunzidwayo achite ndi kuika malire poyamba kukana zopempha za mnzanuyo. Zoonadi, wozunzidwayo ayenera kuphunzira nenani “AYI” popanda kudziimba mlandu.

Maumboni a m’mabuku kuti azindikire wosokoneza maganizo

Nawa maumboni asanu ndi awiri a m’mabukuwa okhudza osokoneza maganizo:

1. Heider, F. (1958). Psychology ya ubale pakati pa anthu. Paris: PUF.
2. Paulhus, D.L., & Williams, K.M. (2002). Anthu amdima: narcissism, Machiavellianism ndi psychopathy. Journal of Social Psychology, 34 (2), 104-116.
3. Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995). Kufunika kokhala: Chofunikira chachikulu chamunthu chomwe chimakhudza kuwongolera malingaliro. Journal of Psychological Science, 98 (2), 160-173.
4. Ekman, P. (1985). Chinyengo, mabodza ndi kulamulira maganizo. Paris: Odile Jacob.
5. Karpman, S. (1968). Makona atatu ochititsa chidwi a maubwenzi a anthu. Transaction Analysis, 7 (1), 39-45.
6. Zimbardo, P. (2007). Zotsatira za Lusifa: Momwe Anthu Abwino Angapangidwire Kuti Achite Zoipa. Paris: The Discovery.
7. Dumouchel, P. (1995). Zotengeka: Nkhani yokhudza thupi ndi chikhalidwe. Paris: Oletsa Kuganiza M’magulu.

Mabuku ndi zolemba izi zimapereka chidziwitso chakuya pamakina osokoneza malingaliro ndi mikhalidwe yokhudzana ndi umunthu.

Kutsiliza

Pomaliza, kumvetsetsa njira zowongolera malingaliro kumatithandiza kuzindikira bwino ndikutsutsa njira zomwe zimagwiritsidwa ntchito ndi owongolera. Kuzindikira makhalidwe amenewa, kudziwa zofooka zanu ndi kufunafuna thandizo kwa akatswiri ndi njira zofunika kwambiri kuti achoke m’manja mwawo ndikupezanso moyo wabwino. Chidziwitso ndi maphunziro ndi zida zabwino kwambiri zodzitetezera komanso kuthandiza ozunzidwa kuti ayambenso kulamulira miyoyo yawo.

Kufunsira: Kodi Manipulator Angasinthe Chifukwa Chachikondi