I-Emotional manipulator – Ungambona kanjani?

Un umkhohlisi womzwelo usebenzisa le ndlela yokukhohlisa ukuze ukwazi ukulawula othile. Abaphendukezeli be-Narcissistic yibo abathembeke kakhulu kulesi sitayela sokukhohlisa, kungaba sebudlelwaneni noma emsebenzini. Yiziphi amasu ama-manipulators? Iyini iphrofayili yesisulu sabo esifanele? Indlela yokuphuma ekubambeni kwayo? Uzothola izimpendulo zale mibuzo kulesi sihloko.

Izindlela eziyi-10 zama-manipulators ezingokomzwelo okufanele wazi

Kubalulekile ukwazi amasu we-manipulator yemizwa. Nazi izibonelo:

1. Abafuni ukwenza lutho

Le umanipulator ngokomzwelo uyenqaba ukwenza lokho isisulu sakhe esimcela ukuba akwenze. Kwesinye isikhathi akanqabi ngqo kodwa uyakubeka kucace ukuthi ngeke akwenze. Kodwa, ezikhathini eziningi, uyenqaba ngokushesha lapho isisulu simcela ukuba enze okuthile. Eqinisweni, umkhohlisi akafuni kwenza lutho ngoba uhlala engenathemba kuzo zonke izimo.

2. Ukuthobisa abanye kuphela

Esikhathini esiningi, ukuxhashazwa ngokomzwelo Kuhlala kuphenduka ukuhlazeka. Uzozama ukukholisa ubugovu bakhe ukuthi angenza konke. Ngenxa yalokho, isisulu sizophendukela kuye ukuze siqonde kangcono inkinga. Ngempela, umuntu okhohlisayo uhlala ezama ukukhombisa ukuthi uphakeme kunabo bonke abanye.

3. Abazenzisi bahlanekezela iqiniso

Isisulu se-narcissistic manipulator sizithola sinokungabaza nokungaqiniseki. Lokhu kuwumphumela walokho umlingani wakhe amtshela kona. Lesi sakamuva sivame ukuguqula iqiniso ngaso sonke isikhathi ngenhloso eyodwa yokudala ukungabaza kusisulu sakhe. Ngenxa yalokho, isisulu asisazi ukuthi liyini iqiniso. Ukuze uphume kulesi sigaba, kudingekile kakhulu ukufuna usizo kuchwepheshe njengochwepheshe wezengqondo. Uzokwazi kahle ukuthi angakusekela kanjani.

4. Bahlale becindezela abanye

Kuqinisekile ukuthi umkhohlisi wemizwa uhlala eqondise abantu abasengozini kakhulu. Ngakho-ke, akuthathi okuningi ukukholisa isisulu sakhe ukuthi senze isinqumo. Ukuze isisulu singabi naso isikhathi sokucabanga ngempendulo yakhe, uzoqala ukumcindezela. Kulokhu, isisulu sizolandela kuphela iseluleko se-manipulator ukuze singathathi isikhathi esiningi. Lona umgomo we-manipulator.

5. I-manipulator isondela ngokushesha okukhulu

Ukuze isisulu sakhe sivuleleke kuye ngqo, the i-narcissistic pervert ngokushesha uzibonakalisa njengomuntu othembekile, olalelayo futhi ongeke amahlulele. Kodwa, kuyindlela kuphela ayisebenzisayo ukwazi ubuthakathaka bomuntu ophambi kwakhe. Ngakho-ke, kuyatuseka ngempela ukuthi ungathembeli ngokushesha ukuze ungaweli ogibeni lomkhohlisi womzwelo.

6. Bahlala bethatha indawo yomuntu ohlukunyeziwe

Lapho isisulu siqala ukuqonda umdlalo waso omncane, umkhohlisi we-narcissistic uzama ukumenza azizwe enecala. Ngakho-ke, uzokwenza konke ukumqinisekisa ukuthi uyisisulu endabeni. Kulesi simo, isisulu akumele siziphendulele kuye kodwa acele kuphela usizo lochwepheshe ukuze amsize adlule kukho.

7. Ngokuvamile funa ukuzwisa abantu ukudabuka

Ukulawula isisulu, umkhohlisi uzofaka inani elithile lecala kuye. Kwesinye isikhathi uba nolaka futhi unodlame kakhulu kumuntu osuke exabene naye okungenzeka ukuthi axabane uma ekhuluma ngenkinga ephakathi kwabashadikazi. Lapho ebhekene nalokhu, maningi amathuba okuthi isisulu sezwe ubuhlungu.

8. Bakhuluma kabi kuphela

Ukuze atshale ukungabaza okwengeziwe kusisulu sakhe, umkhohlisi uchitha isikhathi sakhe ekhuluma kabi ngasese naphambi kwabantu. Le ndlela yokukhohlisa isetshenziswa kakhulu ngoba ifihla inkinga yokungazethembi phakathi kwabenzi bokubi. Ukuze aphume kuwo, isisulu kufanele sikucacise ukuthi sifanelwe ukuhlonishwa.

9. Bahlala benganyakazi esikhundleni sokuziveza

Kungase kube nesikhathi lapho umkhohlisi ehlala ethule futhi engaziba isisulu sakhe ngokuphelele. Eqinisweni, yindlela ayisebenzisayo ukumjezisa. Le nqubo igwema inkinga kubo bobabili abantu abathintekayo kodwa ayikwenzi ukuthi inyamalale. Yingakho kunconywa ukuthi nihlale nixoxa ngokungahambi kahle ebudlelwaneni benu.

10. Izikhohlisi zemizwelo zisizakala ngobuthakathaka babanye abantu

Lapho uchitha isikhathi esiningi nomuntu olawula imizwelo, kulapho azosebenzisa khona ubuthakathaka bakho. Ukukhohlisa kuhamba kangcono kakhulu lapho umuntu ewazi amaphuzu abuthakathaka wesisulu sakhe. Ukuze ayeke ukwenza le ndlela, isisulu kufanele sibeke umkhawulo phakathi kwaso nomlingani waso okhohlisayo ngokomzwelo.

Ngazi kanjani ukuthi ngiyisisulu se-manipulator?

Lezi izisulu zama-narcissistic perverts futhi umkhohlisi wemizwa ubhekana nokuhlupheka okukhulu. Izisulu eziningi zibonisa izimpawu ezilandelayo:

• Uma ekhona umuntu oyisisulu, isisulu asizizwa siphephile nhlobo.
• Isisulu se-manipulator sihlala sikhathazekile futhi sicindezelekile.
• Akazethembi nhlobo.
• Ngokushesha uzihlukanisa nomhlaba kusukela ekuqaleni kobudlelwane bakhe nomkhohlisi.
• Isisulu siba nokuqwasha kanye nezinkinga zokudla.
• Ugcizelele ngaso sonke isikhathi.
• Ushintsho olusheshayo ekuziphatheni.

Kungani kwenzeka ukuxhashazwa ngokomzwelo?

Noma ubani angaba isisulu somkhohlisi wemizwa. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukhetha ukunqoba kangcono abantu abasengozini, abanomzwelo kakhulu futhi bafuna umuntu ongabanikeza uthando.

Uma unalobu buntu obulandelayo, udinga ukuqaphela ngoba uyithagethi efanelekile yabazenzisi be-narcissistic:

• Ukulungele ukudela konke ukuze uthole injabulo yomlingani wakho.
• Uhlala udinga imvume yomlingani wakho ngaphambi kokwenza noma yini.
• Uhlale ukwamukela ukuthi unephutha uma nixabene noma kungenjalo.
• Awukwazi ukwala lokho abanye abakucela kuwe.
• Ungenile ukungazethembi.

I-Emotional manipulator – Ungaphuma kanjani ekubambeni kwakho?

Ukuze uphume ekubanjweni komkhohlisi womzwelo, into yokuqala edingekayo ukuthi isisulu sinjalo uyasazi isimo sakhe. Khona-ke, isisulu akumelwe sicabange ukuthi umlingani wakhe uzoshintsha ngemva kwesicelo sakhe. Njengoba i-manipulator ayikwazi ukushintsha ngemva kwesicelo esilula esivela kuye.

Umuntu ohlukunyezwayo kumele ahlale eqaphile ngoba ngemuva kwalesi simo umqili uzozenza isisulu. Kuleli qophelo, into engcono kakhulu okufanele yenziwe isisulu ukubeka umngcele ngokuqala ukwenqaba izicelo zomlingani wakhe. Ngempela, isisulu kufanele sifunde yithi “CHA” ngaphandle kokuzizwa unecala.

Izinkomba ze-bibliographic zokubona umkhohlisi wemizwa

Nazi izikhombo eziyisikhombisa zebhayibhili mayelana nendaba yabakhohlisi bemizwa:

1. UHeider, F. (1958). I-psychology yobudlelwano phakathi kwabantu. EParis: I-PUF.
2. Paulhus, D.L., & Williams, K.M. (2002). Abantu abamnyama: i-narcissism, i-Machiavellianism kanye ne-psychopathy. Ijenali yeSocial Psychology, 34 (2), 104-116.
3. Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995). Isidingo sokuba yingxenye: Isidingo somuntu esiyisisekelo esinomthelela ekulawuleni imizwelo. Ijenali yeSayensi Yengqondo, 98 (2), 160-173.
4. Ekman, P. (1985). Ukukhohlisa, amanga nokulawula imizwa. EParis: Odile Jacob.
5. U-Karpman, S. (1968). Unxantathu omangalisayo wobudlelwane babantu. Ukuhlaziywa kokwenziwayo, 7 (1), 39-45.
6. Zimbardo, P. (2007). I-Lucifer Effect: Indlela Abantu Abalungile Abangenziwa Ngayo Ukwenza Okubi. I-Paris: Ukutholwa.
7. Dumouchel, P. (1995). Imizwa: Indatshana emayelana nomzimba kanye nenhlalo. I-Paris: Abavimbeli Bokucabanga Emibuthanweni.

Lezi zincwadi nezindatshana zinikeza umbono ojulile mayelana nezinqubo zokuxhaphaza imizwa kanye nezici zobuntu ezihambisanayo.

Isiphetho

Sengiphetha, ukuqonda izindlela zokuxhaphaza imizwa kusivumela ukuthi sibone kangcono futhi simelane namasu asetshenziswa abazenzisi. Ukubona lokhu kuziphatha, ukwazi ubuthakathaka bakho kanye nokufuna ukusekelwa kochwepheshe kuyizinyathelo ezibalulekile zokuphuma ekubambeni kwabo futhi uthole kabusha impilo elinganiselayo. Ulwazi nemfundo kuhlala kuyizikhali ezingcono kakhulu zokuzivikela futhi sisize izisulu ziphinde zilawule izimpilo zazo.

Ukuze uxhumane: Ingabe I-Manipulator ingashintsha Othandweni