“Ndinaika chithunzi m’nkhaniyo. zidamusokoneza chifukwa mthunzi wa wojambulayo unali ndi mawonekedwe a mkazi”, uku kunali kufalitsa kwa mwamuna wina pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti kufotokoza khalidwe la mnzake. Kupyolera mu mfundo iyi, tikhoza kudzifunsa funso ngati mwamunayu akukhala paubwenzi woopsa. Kodi bwenzi lake ndi mnzake wapoizoni? Kodi ndili paubwenzi wapoizoni? Ndiye apa pali mini mayeso kuti mudziwe ngati muli pachibwenzi chomwe sichili chomwe chiyenera kukhala.
TEST Ubwenzi Wapoizoni
Ubale Woopsa – Ndi Chiyani?
- Ubale woopsa ndi mphamvu yovulaza pakati pa anthu yomwe imawononga thanzi la m’maganizo, m’maganizo, komanso nthawi zina la thupi la mnzawo m’modzi. Umadziwika ndi kusalingana kwa mphamvu, komwe munthu m’modzi amalamulira mnzake mopitirira muyeso kudzera mu kusokoneza, kudzudzula nthawi zonse, ndi… nsanje yodwala kapena nkhanza zamaganizo.
- Mu ubale woterewu, nthawi zambiri timawona mikangano, mikangano ndi kuyanjanitsa zomwe zimapangitsa kudalirana. Kulankhulana nthawi zambiri kumakhala kosokonekera, komwe kumasonyezedwa ndi kupanda ulemu, kutukwana kosalekeza kapena kungokhala chete kolanga.
- Ubale wapoizoni ungaphatikizepo mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya nkhanza zamaganizo, mwamawu kapena mwakuthupi. Nthawi zambiri amasiya zotsatira zokhalitsa, zomwe zimakhudza mphamvu ya wozunzidwayo kupanga maubwenzi abwino m’tsogolomu. Kuzindikira zizindikiro izi ndikofunikira kwambiri kuti muthetse vutoli ndikupita ku ubale wokhazikika komanso wokwaniritsa.
Zizindikiro 10 za Ubale Wapoizoni
Nazi zizindikiro 10 zosonyeza ubale wapoizoni, zoperekedwa mwachidule:
- Kupanda ulemu : kudzudzula kosalekeza, kutukwana kapena kunyozetsa.
- Kulamulira mopambanitsa : nsanje yosayenera, kuyang’anira zochitika ndi maubwenzi.
- Kulephera kulankhulana : kukangana pafupipafupi, kusamvetserana.
- Kusokoneza maganizo : kudziimba mlandu, kudziimba mlandu.
- Kusadzidalira : mabodza obwerezabwereza, zinsinsi, kusakhulupirika.
- Kusagwirizana kwa mphamvu : kulamulira mnzake wina pa mzake.
- Kusowa thandizo : kusasamala za kupambana kapena zovuta za ena.
- Kutopa kwamalingaliro : wopotoza wopanda pake, kumverera kosalekeza kwa kuyenda pazipolopolo za mazira.
- Kunyalanyaza zosowa za munthu payekha : kutaya chidziwitso, kudzipatula.
- Kubwerezabwereza kwa mikangano ndi kuyanjanitsa : kusinthana pakati pa kukangana ndi “honeymoon”.
Zizindikirozi, zomwe nthawi zambiri zimakhala zobisika poyamba, zimatha kukula pakapita nthawi. Kuwazindikira ndi sitepe yoyamba kuti mutuluke muubwenzi wopanda thanzi ndikupeza kukhazikika kwaumwini.
Mayeso – Mungadziŵe bwanji ngati muli paubwenzi woopsa?
Tikukupemphani kuti muyese izi kuti muwone ngati muli paubwenzi wapoizoni. Dzifunseni mafunso awa:
- Kodi mumamva kusakondwa muubwenzi koma nthawi yomweyo mukuganiza kuti simungathe kukhala popanda iye? Kutsutsana uku kungakhale chizindikiro cha chidziwitso dissonance.
- Kodi mnzanuyo nthawi zonse amanyalanyaza zogonjetsa zanu ndipo samakuthandizani muzochita zanu?
- Kodi kukambirana ndi mnzanuyo kumakuchititsani mantha?
- Kodi mumadzudzulidwa nthawi zonse ndi kudzudzulidwa chifukwa chosachita bwino?
- Chiyambireni ubale wanu, mwakhala kutali ndi achibale anu ndi anzanu?
- Kodi mnzanu amakusekani zomwe mumakonda komanso zomwe mumakonda?
- Kodi zokambirana zanu zili ndi mwano, misozi, zitonzo ndi kuzunzika?
- Kodi kukhala chete ndi yankho kapena chilango chake pakagwa mavuto?
- Kodi kusokoneza maganizo ndi njira yopezera zomwe akufuna kwa inu?
- Ngati simuli naye, amakufunsani mafunso?
- Kodi mnzanuyo sakufunsani maganizo anu kapena kukudziwitsani popanga zisankho zomwe zimakhudza nonse?
- Kodi munagonanapo naye popanda cholinga chongofuna kukwiyitsa kapena kukhutiritsa zilakolako zake?
- Kwa iye, kodi mavuto ake ndi ofunika kwambiri kuposa anu?
- Kodi iye amakwiya akakhala ndi tsiku loipa kapena pamene ali ndi maganizo oipa?
- Kodi mnzanuyo amanama mobwerezabwereza?
Ubale wapoizoni: galasi la mabala athu aubwana
Ubwenzi wowopsa muuchikulire nthawi zambiri umakhala chisonyezero cha zovuta zaubwana zomwe sizinathe. Kusinthasintha kumeneku kumayenera kuunikiridwa mozama kuti timvetsetse momwe tingakokere mosazindikira anthu ankhanza kapena onyenga m’miyoyo yathu.
Chizindikiro chosasinthika cha ubwana
Zochitika zathu zoyambirira zimapanga psyche yathu m’njira zakuya komanso zokhalitsa. Kuyanjana ndi makolo athu kapena ena ofunikira kuyambira unyamata wathu kumapanga zitsanzo zamkati za maubwenzi omwe amakhudza zosankha zathu ndi machitidwe athu ngati akuluakulu.
- Makhalidwe ndi machitidwe ogwirizana :
- Makhalidwe ophatikizika (otetezeka, odetsa nkhawa, opeŵa, osalongosoka) opangidwa paubwana amakhudza mwachindunji maubwenzi athu akuluakulu.
- Kulumikizana kosatetezeka kungatipangitse kuti tipeze mabwenzi omwe amatengera zomwe timazizolowera, ngakhale zitakhala zopanda thanzi.
- Normalization wa khalidwe poizoni :
- Kukulira m’malo omwe machitidwe oponderezedwa kapena oponderezedwa amakhala abwinobwino kungatipangitse kuti tisamamve machenjezo ngati akuluakulu.
- Kudziwana kumeneku kungapangitse chitonthozo chabodza mu maubwenzi ofanana m’tsogolomu.
Kufunika kosadziwa kuthetseratu
Psyche yathu nthawi zonse imayesetsa kuthetsa mikangano yosathetsedwa, yomwe ingatipangitse kukonzanso zinthu zofanana ndi zomwe zachitika kuyambira ubwana wathu.
- Kukakamiza kubwereza:
- Lingaliro la Freudian kufotokoza chifukwa chake timabwereza zowawa zowawa mwachiyembekezo chosazindikira kuti titha kuzidziwa nthawi ino.
- Kubwerezabwerezaku kungawonekere ngati kukopa zibwenzi zomwe zimafanana ndi zovuta za makolo.
- Sakani zotsimikizira :
- Kufunika kochiritsa bala laubwana lankhanza kungatipangitse kufuna kuvomerezedwa ndi anthu omwe, monga makolo athu, sangathe kutipatsa mokwanira.
- Kufuna uku kungatipangitse kukhala pachiwopsezo cha onyenga omwe amachita bwino popereka ndikuchotsa zovomerezeka.
Njira zokopa za anthu oopsa
Nazi njira zina:
- Chidziwitso cha projekiti ndi projekiti :
- Timayika mikangano yathu kwa ena mosazindikira, motero timakopa anthu omwe ali ndi zinthu zomwe sitinathe kuzithetsa.
- Narcissists nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi luso lozindikira ndikugwiritsa ntchito zovuta izi.
- Kukwanirana kwa zosowa :
- Zosowa zathu zomwe sizinakwaniritsidwe paubwana zimatha kupanga kugwirizana ndi zosowa za narcissist (mwachitsanzo, kufunikira kovomerezeka / kufunikira kosilira).
- Kugwirizana uku kumapanga chinyengo cha kugwirizana kumayambiriro kwa ubale.
- Kuberekana kwa zodziwika :
- Ubongo umakonda kukonda zomwe zimadziwika bwino, ngakhale zili zowawa, chifukwa zimayimira malo odziwika ndipo zimawonedwa ngati “zotetezeka.”
Kuthyola chizungulire: kupita ku machiritso
Nazi njira zina zomwe zingakuthandizeni kuchiza:
- Kuzindikira :
- Kuzindikira machitidwe obwerezabwereza mu maubwenzi athu ndiye gawo loyamba lofunikira.
- Kumvetsetsa zilonda zathu zaubwana ndi momwe zimakhudzira zosankha zathu zamakono.
- Ntchito yochizira :
- Chithandizo, makamaka njira monga EMDR kapena schema therapy, zingathandize kuchiza zoopsa zaubwana.
- Phunzirani kuzindikira ndi kusintha malingaliro athu ndi machitidwe athu.
- Kukulitsa kudzidalira :
- Kulitsani kudzidalira kolimba kuti muchepetse kusatetezeka kwathu kwa owongolera.
- Phunzirani kutsimikizira zosowa zathu ndi malingaliro athu popanda kudalira chivomerezo chakunja.
- Khazikitsani malire abwino :
- Phunzirani kuzindikira makhalidwe oipa ndi kuwayankha motsimikiza.
- Kulitsani kuthekera kokana ndi kuika patsogolo ubwino wathu.
Buku lothandizira kudziwa ngati muli paubwenzi wowopsa
Nawa maumboni asanu ndi awiri okhudza maubwenzi oyipa:
- Lévy, J. (2019). Ubale wapoizoni: kumvetsetsa ndi kuthawa misampha yamalingaliro. Editions Eyrolles.
- Chauvet, M. (2015). Kusokoneza maganizo mwa awiriwa: momwe mungawazindikire ndikudziteteza kwa iwo. Zolemba za Albin Michel.
- Sénécal, J. (2020). Kuopsa kwa maubwenzi: kuyambira kuzunzika mpaka kulimba mtima. Zolemba za l’Homme.
- Bouchard, C. (2017). Ubale woopsa pakati pa anthu: malingaliro amalingaliro. Presses Universitaires de France.
- Blais, M. (2021). Imposter syndrome ndi maubwenzi oopsa. Fides Editions.
- Gagnon, S. (2018). Chikoka: kumvetsetsa ndi kutuluka mu ubale wapoizoni. Editions Leduc.s.
- Nizri, L. (2016). Kuvutika kuntchito: maubwenzi oipa ndi kutopa. Zolemba za Dangles.
Maumboni awa amafotokoza mbali zosiyanasiyana za ubale wapoizoni, wamalingaliro komanso wamaganizidwe.
Kutsiliza
Pomaliza, kuzindikira zizindikiro za ubale wapoizoni ndikofunikira kuti mukhale ndi moyo wabwino. Ngati mukuganiza za thanzi la ubale wanu, mafunso awa akhoza kukhala chitsogozo. Kumbukirani kuti kuzindikira ndi sitepe yoyamba yopita kuzinthu zoyenera komanso zokwaniritsa. Osakhazikika mumkhalidwe wosayenera, chifukwa aliyense amayenera kusinthika mu ubale wolemekezeka komanso wopatsa thanzi.
Kodi mwakonzeka kutembenuza tsamba kwamuyaya?
Kukambirana ndi Cristina ndi gawo lofunika kwambiri: kumvetsetsa, kuchitapo kanthu, kupita patsogolo. Pa intaneti, kulikonse komwe muli. Kuphunzitsa munthu payekha kudzera pa foni ya kanema (Skype kapena WhatsApp) — €100 pa gawo lililonse.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.
Want to break free from this hold?
The Complete Narcissism Release (PDF book) and the Musc essential oil guide you step by step – at your own pace, at home.