How to handle a manipulator? Tips to counter it

Living with a manipulator is a real challenge. With each decision to be made, with each opinion to be issued, he will always have his say and will always want those around him to do things as he wishes. But when you manage to detect the traps of the manipulator, you can make him do it intelligently. If you want to get the better of him, here are some effective techniques on how to manipulate a narcissist.

8 tips for handling a manipulator

It’s not always easy to face the facts and free yourself from the grip of a narcissistic person. To help you, here are 8 techniques to counter-manipulate a manipulative man :

1. Ignore the keyer

One of the easiest tricks to counter a manipulator is simply toignore. Indeed, the more you lose interest in him, the more he will feel like he is losing his power. He hates not being the center of the world, so he’ll be unsettled if you ignore him. L’indifference can be very effective to free yourself from a manipulator, especially when he tries to set traps in your life. The more you learn to ignore the narcissist, the more you will have the ability to counter it to completely free yourself from its grip.

2. Bypass the discussion and avoid the trap

The manipulator is a master of the art which consists to control his surroundings and guide their decision to turn everything to their advantage. He often begins by advancing a subject and giving his opinion on such and such a situation. Then, he succeeds in convincing his interlocutor so that this one goes in his point of view. The best way not to fall into his trap is to bypass the discussion. If you see him start his little game, avoid the subject and quickly talk about something else to catch him off guard.

3. Giving your answer and not explaining or justifying yourself

Sometimes the manipulator just asks you a dubious question to make you feel guilty and take control of yourself. When you know this is a question that will spawn another and a discussion that could trap you, the best way to protect yourself is to just give a simple answer and not justify yourself. When he insists on hearing your opinion, you can just answer with simple formulations like: “That’s just my opinion!” or also “if you say so…”.

4. Stop accepting manipulation

The day you agree to no longer be a victim of a emotional manipulator, there will be no more manipulation. This is about making a decision to free yourself from its grip. When you can’t let go, that’s when your freedom begins. Make decisions for yourself and not based on the other. It is also a question of no longer being influenced by his opinions, his hurtful words and his reproaches.

5. Use the fog technique (stay vague, don’t assert your opinion)

This is about not fully showing your opinion on a question or topic. Let doubt linger on the question so that he cannot detect the truth and therefore manipulate you accordingly. When the dominator is not sure of himself, he will have difficulty influencing his victim. You can also answer with contextual questions. For example, when he asks you your opinion on something like “Sarah is a very reserved woman”, you can answer with “very reserved?” and follow up with “maybe” or “if you say so” or even “I have no opinion on this subject”.

6. Take it at its own game

How to play with a manipulator? Well, you have to play at one’s own game. This technique involves questioning the manipulator’s actions. This involves confronting them and highlighting their goals and motivations. For example, when they try to manipulate you or make you feel guilty, ask them questions like “What do you mean by that?” or “What do you mean?” The manipulator will often back down because they see that they risk being exposed. This way, you will know that you have gained the upper hand on their game and have won the game.

7. Make Him Wait

Sometimes the best trick to counter manipulation is to make the manipulator waitr. In some situations, he may demand an action or response from you that you find difficult to counter. In these cases, making him wait is the best solution. It’s about dodging the incessant demands and traps of your manipulator so that he gives up.

8. Not giving him control

To be stronger than a manipulator, you don’t have to never give him control. Indeed, just like the narcissist, the narcissist needs to control everything. If you stay firm and don’t give him the opportunity to hold you on a leash, he won’t be able to play his role and he will lose interest in his prey. It is also about imposing your limits on him and knowing how to say no without hesitation or fear.

What is the weak point of a manipulator?

The manipulator needs to control his surroundings and his environment, because he feels fear, lack of self-confidence and anxiety. It’s an unhealthy behavior that gnaws at him from the inside and that he needs to hurt those around him to feel good. THE weak point of the manipulator lies in this power of control. Indeed, since he needs to control everything, he will lose his bearings when others do not bend to his good will.

If you want to succeed in freeing yourself from a manipulator, make him understand that you are no longer his victim and that he no longer has the power to manipulate you. He will then know that you have taken over him and that you are not going to let it go any longer. And losing control is one of the reasons that scare the narcissist in a relationship. Awareness can be difficult, but once this step is taken, the reconstruction will take place on its own.

Warning: Do you really want to become a manipulator yourself?

Even if you want to know how to bend a manipulator, think first of all that manipulating the manipulator will make you act like him. However, if you don’t like what the manipulator did to you, why would you want to copy him and fall into his game? If this idea frightens you, know that it is easier to lay the cards on the table and get things straight.

Also, more reasonable decision-making is to your credit. Also keep in mind that the techniques you use here are not made to make him suffer, but quite simply to thwart his manipulations. It is not a question of leading him by the nose, but rather of countering him in his actions.

If you need help to heal from emotional manipulations in your past or during your adult life, know that you can get help from a therapist or a psychologist who is an expert in the field. Being accompanied by a professional will be very useful for you to rebuild and regain your self-confidence.