How do you become a Narcissistic and manipulative pervert?

How do you become a narcissist? Being narcissist is very often due to certain traumatic ordeals from your childhood. These are the result of a dysfunctional family. Between violence, abuse and emotional crisis, everything suggests that there are elements that lead to becoming a narcissist, either consciously or unconsciously.

Can you be born a Narcissist?

In reality, no one is born narcissist. We become so by the force of circumstances, in particular your immediate living environment. Narcissistic perversion is not a pandemic or a pathology that is transmitted through an intermediary.

Indeed, narcissistic perversion is simply a personality disorder that takes shape in early or young childhood. Here is our article which explains the narcissistic perverse causes. Some child psychologists place this period of early childhood between 2 and 6 years old. Manipulative children already carry within themselves the seeds of narcissistic perversion.

How do you become a narcissist? 

Here are the different causes and factors:

1. Environmental and cultural influences

• How do you become a narcissist? Numerous studies show that narcissistic perversion scores quite high in individualistic cultures or societies. These societies place particular emphasis on individual rights to the detriment of collective culture. Group aspirations are neglected and individualism exalted.
• In addition to culture, the immediate living environment influences the behavior of the child. Traumatic experiences during early childhood are sometimes responsible for the appearance of narcissistic traits in adult manipulative individuals. Lack of affection, rejection, abuse, excessive criticism or praise, etc., can lead to narcissistic perversion.
• Narcissistic perversion is often observed in individualistic cultures, emphasizing individual rights to the detriment of the collective good.
• The immediate environment, marked by traumatic early childhood experiences, can contribute to the development of narcissistic traits in adults.

2. Early life experiences and the parent-child bond

A child who is born and grows up in a narcissist family is more apt to develop narcissistic traits, better yet personality disorders.

• Certain parental factors, such as violence, overprotection, abuse, influence the development of narcissistic traits in children.
• Early life experiences, notably psychosomatic violence and the absence of parental limits, can play a crucial role.

Indeed, certain parental factors are very often responsible for different levels of narcissism in children. Among these parental factors, you have:

• Psychosomatic violence and trauma
• Parenthood known as “mother bear” (the overprotection of the child)
• Abuse and mistreatment
• Exacerbated indulgence or the non-existence of limits or boundaries
• Lack of parental warmth
• Overvaluation or praise based on considerations that are unrealistic or that favor perfection, grandiosity, etc.

3. Genetics

Some researchers have found a fairly strong link between narcissistic perversion and certain narcissistic personality traits passed down from parent to child. According to the report of the experiments, genetics can explain the appearance of the traits of narcissistic perversion in the child at birth.

• Grandiosity is heritable at 23% in a couple where one of the parents has this trait
• The feeling of infallibility or always being right is 35% heritable

It should be remembered that when you inherit grandiosity, the narcissistic traits that you will develop in adulthood are: self-centered introversion, dominance or dominant behavior.

Why do we become narcissists?

The reasons are many, but we become narcissist in order to be able to defend ourselves against the world around us. In reality, narcissistic perversion results from a defense mechanism developed from childhood. This defense mechanism feeds on selfish and self-centered behavior.

From the age of 4-5 years, the child builds for himself a fairly offensive automated defense system that works on the basis of manipulation. Moreover, this defense mechanism is a bulwark against psychosis and schizophrenia.

Does the manipulator know he is becoming a narcissist?

To the question of knowing if the narcissist knows that he is narcissist, the behaviorists answer in the negative. Actually, the narcissist does not actually know that he is a narcissist.

He lives in a complex world dominated by denial, empathy and manipulation. Because he is not aware of his pathology, and he lacks otherness, it is therefore not possible for him to consult a specialist. On the other hand, they like to do evil and are well aware of the impact that their actions have on others.

5 signs to recognize a narcissist

Here are 5 signs to recognize a manipulator:

1. He has an inflated ego : he thinks he is the center of the world, exalts his abilities, constantly values ​​himself and belittles others at the slightest opportunity.
2. He adopts a posture of permanent victim : he never recognizes his faults, he always believes that no one deserves his friendship, he projects his mistakes onto others.
3. He lacks empathy, care and attention : he can never sympathize with the misfortune of others, he is always cold and can never understand the difficulties, the pain or the suffering of others.
4. He’s manipulator and a liar at the same time : in addition to being a fine seducer, the narcissist has a forked tongue. He has the art of manipulation and takes pleasure in creating a mental fog around him. He lies for everything.
5. He never admits his faults and denies all the evidence : the narcissist lives in total denial, he is unable to recognize that he suffers from a personality disorder. He can’t face reality and always makes others feel uncertain.

Narcissist: Can we transform or change him into a normal person?

there is no treatment for the narcissist. In other words, it is not possible to turn the narcissist into a normal person. The fact is that he can never question himself. It is almost impossible for you to make a narcissist fall in love. Moreover, the self-censorship mechanism does not exist in him and therefore, it is difficult for the narcissist to return to better feelings. He is therefore the only one to hold the keys to change.

On the other hand, the narcissist can modify certain character traits of his personality. It is therefore necessary that he face himself so that he becomes aware of his discomfort and his suffering. This questioning can occur if and only if the narcissist lacks prey. It is therefore possible to see messages such as “I am a narcissist, what should I do? in some forums, this when the narcissist begins to become aware of his discomfort.

Bibliographic reference on “how does one become a narcissistic and manipulative pervert?”

Here are seven bibliographic references dealing with the development of narcissistic perversion and manipulative behaviors:

1. Racamier, P.-C. (1992). Narcissistic perversions. Paris: Payot Editions.
2. Hirigoyen, M.-F. (1998). Moral harassment: perverse violence in everyday life. Paris: Syros Editions.
3. Weaver, S. (2013). Family secrets: transgenerational psychoanalysis. Paris: PUF Editions.
4. Cyrulnik, B. (2001). A wonderful misfortune. Paris: Odile Jacob Editions.
5. Meloy, JR (2002). The Psychopathic Mind: Origins, Dynamics, and Treatment. Paris: PUF Editions.
6. Bergeret, J. (2004). Normal and pathological personality. Paris: Dunod Editions.
7. Anzieu, D. (1985). The Skin-Me. Paris: Dunod Editions.

These books provide an in-depth understanding of the psychological and environmental factors contributing to the development of narcissistic perversion and manipulative behaviors.

Conclusion:

Narcissistic perversion often emerges from a traumatic past, prompting the development of an aggressive defense mechanism. Understanding these origins can offer avenues for evaluating the possibilities for change, but the key to the process lies in the consciousness and will of the narcissist himself.