Dissociation and its effects on the pulse: a little-known phenomenon

Women who are victims of narcissists can experience intense psychological and physical experiences. Among these, the phenomenon of “pulse dissociation” remains little known but can have significant impacts. This article aims to explain what dissociation is, how it affects the heart rate, and why it frequently occurs in the context of a relationship with a narcissist.

What is dissociation?

Dissociation is a psychological defense mechanism. It occurs when the brain temporarily disconnects from reality to protect itself from intense stress. It is an involuntary reaction that allows us to distance ourselves from a situation that we experience as unbearable.

Specifically, the person who dissociates may feel detached from their body or their environment. They may feel as if they are in a fog, have memory lapses, or feel as if things around them are not real. Dissociation can range from a slight feeling of derealization to a complete loss of self-awareness.

This phenomenon of traumatic dissociation is a natural response of the brain to trauma. It allows us to bear the unbearable by creating emotional distance. But if it becomes chronic, it can have negative consequences in the long term.

The different forms of dissociation

There are several types of dissociation, which can manifest to varying degrees:

• Depersonalization: feeling detached from one’s own body or thoughts.
• Derealization: feeling that the surrounding world is not real.
• Dissociative amnesia: memory lapses regarding certain traumatic events.
• Dissociative flight: sudden departure for no apparent reason, with forgetting one’s identity.
• Dissociative identity disorder: presence of several distinct personalities.

In a relationship with a narcissist, the most common forms are depersonalization and derealization. They allow the victim to endure manipulation and psychological abuse.

The link between dissociation and heart rate

Dissociation has physical effects, including on heart rate. During a dissociative episode, the body enters a state of “freeze” that alters the functioning of the autonomic nervous system.

This usually results in a slowing of the pulse. The heart beats more slowly, as if the body is trying to conserve energy in the face of a threat. This phenomenon is explained by the activation of the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for slowing down vital functions.

Paradoxically, some people may actually experience an increased heart rate during dissociation. This is due to activation of the sympathetic nervous system, which prepares the body to respond to danger.

These pulse variations during dissociative episodes can be destabilizing for the person experiencing them. They contribute to reinforcing the feeling of strangeness and disconnection from the body.

Why is “pulse dissociation” common among victims of narcissists?

A relationship with a narcissist is a source of chronic stress and repeated psychological trauma. Faced with this abuse, dissociation becomes a survival mechanism for many victims.

There are several reasons why dissociation is so common in this context:

• Protection against emotional pain: dissociation allows you to distance yourself from the suffering caused by manipulation and humiliation.
• Adaptation to incoherence: the contradictory discourse of the narcissist creates a cognitive dissonance that dissociation helps to bear.
• Conflict avoidance: mentally disconnecting allows you to avoid reacting and therefore not provoking the anger of the narcissist.
• Preservation of self-esteem: Dissociation protects the victim’s deep identity against repeated attacks.
• Managing feelings of helplessness: Mentally detaching yourself gives the illusion of maintaining some control over the situation.

Dissociation thus becomes a protective reflex against a toxic and unpredictable environment. But in the long term, it can have negative consequences on the victim’s mental and physical health.

The effects of chronic dissociation

While dissociation offers temporary protection, its long-term repetition is not without consequences:

Psychological impacts:

• Difficulty concentrating and remembering
• Mood disorders (depression, anxiety)
• Loss of sense of identity
• Relationship difficulties
• Constant feeling of unreality

Physical impacts:

• Chronic fatigue
• Sleep disorders
• Unexplained muscle pain
• Hormonal disruptions
• Weakening of the immune system

Chronic dissociation also maintains a vicious cycle: the more the person dissociates, the more they lose touch with their emotions and bodily sensations. This makes them more vulnerable to abuse and reinforces the need to dissociate.

The role of the narcissist in maintaining dissociation

The narcissist, consciously or not, maintains the dissociative state of his victim. This allows him to maintain his hold and avoid any questioning.

Several of his behaviors promote dissociation:

• Gaslighting: by denying the reality experienced by the victim, it leads them to doubt their perceptions.
• Unpredictable mood swings: alternating between moments of kindness and cruelty keeps the victim in a state of confusion.
• The social isolation : by cutting the victim off from those close to him, he deprives him of external points of reference.
• Projection: by accusing the victim of his own faults, he blurs the boundaries between true and false.
• Double constraints: by giving contradictory injunctions, it creates an insoluble situation which leads to dissociation.

Thus, dissociation becomes both a consequence of abuse and a breeding ground for its continuation.

The Link Between Dissociation and Codependency

Chronic dissociation can foster the development of a codependent relationship with the narcissist. Indeed, by losing touch with his or her own needs and boundaries, the victim becomes more likely to focus exclusively on those of his or her partner.

Codependency is characterized by:

• An excessive need for approval
• A difficulty in saying no
• A tendency to sacrifice oneself for others
• A fear of abandonment
• Low self-esteem

These character traits, reinforced by dissociation, make the victim more vulnerable to the manipulation of the narcissist. They also prevent him from becoming aware of his situation and from considering a separation.

Dissociation as an obstacle to the healing process

Paradoxically, the mechanism that allowed the victim to survive the abusive relationship can become an obstacle to their recovery once it has ended. In fact, chronic dissociation:

• Prevents you from fully feeling your emotions, a necessary step in the grieving process.
• Maintains a form of denial that delays awareness of the abuse suffered.
• Disrupts the ability to plan for the future and rebuild.
• Maintains a form of detachment that makes it difficult to create new healthy relationships.

Additionally, the heart rate changes associated with dissociation can cause additional anxiety and stress. The person may fear losing control of their body, which reinforces the need to dissociate.

Bibliographic references on dissociation

Here is a selection of seven bibliographical references in French, mainly scientific, on the theme of dissociation:

1. Dermesropian, A., Goffinet, S., & de Becker, E. (2018). “Dissociation: conceptualization, interest of an entanglement with scarification and intervention protocol”. Clinical Psychology, 2018/1 (n°45), pp. 115-133.
2. Fareng, M., & Plagnol, A. (2014). “Dissociation and traumatic syndromes: current contributions of hypnosis”. PSN, Volume 12, 2014/4, pp. 29-46.
3. Mahieu, E. (1997). “Note on a discordance in the clinic: dissociation”. Psychiatric Information, 1997/9, pp. 809-817.
4. Hingray, C., & Tarquinio, C. (2021). “Dissociation: Protection or Loss of Reason.” The Psychiatrist’s Letter, n°2, June 2021.
5. Tarquinio, C., & Auxéméry, Y. (2022). “Chapter 6. Psychotrauma, dissociation and dissociative disorders”. In Handbook of Psychotraumatic Disorders, pp. 174-223.
6. Kédina, B., Tarquinio, C., & Montel, L. (2012). “Dissociation and traumatic memory”. Dunod, 2012.
7. Lafrance, A. (2011). “Understanding dissociation in patients with borderline personality disorder.” Mental health in Quebec, Volume 36, Number 1, Spring 2011, pp. 111-128.

These references provide an in-depth overview of the different facets of dissociation, including its conceptualization, its links to trauma, and associated therapeutic approaches.

Conclusion

“Pulse dissociation” is a complex phenomenon that illustrates the close links between body and mind. In women who are victims of narcissists, it represents both a survival strategy and a potential obstacle to healing.

Understanding this mechanism helps us better understand the extent of the damage caused by a toxic relationship. It also highlights the importance of comprehensive care, taking into account both the psychological and physical aspects of the trauma.

Dissociation, although protective at first, should not become a long-term solution. Regaining contact with one’s body and emotions is an essential step in freeing oneself from the grip of the narcissist and rebuilding oneself.