Indlela yokuphatha i-manipulator? Amathiphu okumelana nakho

Ukuhlala ne-manipulator kuyinselele yangempela. Ngaso sonke isinqumo esizothathwa, kunikezwe yonke imibono, uyohlale enezwi lakhe futhi uyohlale efuna labo abaseduze kwakhe benze izinto ngendlela afisa ngayo. Kodwa lapho ukwazi ukubona izicupho ze-manipulator, ungamenza akwenze ngokuhlakanipha. Uma ufuna ukuthola isandla esiphezulu kuye, nanka amasu asebenzayo indlela yokusingatha i-narcissistic manipulator.

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Amathiphu angu-8 okuphatha i-manipulator

Akulula ngaso sonke isikhathi ukubhekana namaqiniso futhi uzikhulule ethonyeni lomuntu ongenangqondo. Ukukusiza, nazi izindlela eziyi-8 zokuthi phikisa indoda ekhohlisayo :

1. Ungamnaki umkhohlisi

Enye yezindlela ezilula zokubhekana ne-manipulator ukumane njeindiva. Ngempela, lapho uphelelwa isithakazelo kuye, uzozizwa sengathi uphelelwa amandla. Uyakuzonda ukungabi yisizinda somhlaba ngakho-ke uzophelelwa uzinzo uma ungamnaki. L’ukunganaki kungaba yimpumelelo kakhulu ukuze uzikhulule ku-manipulator, ikakhulukazi lapho ezama ukubeka izicupho empilweni yakho. Uma ufunda okwengeziwe ungabanaki i-narcissistic pervert, yilapho uzoba namandla okuphikisa futhi uzikhulule ngokuphelele ethonyeni lakho.

2. Dlula ingxoxo futhi ugweme ugibe

I-manipulator iyingcweti yobuciko be ukulawula labo abakuzungezile futhi uqondise isinqumo sabo sokuguqula yonke into ibe yinzuzo yabo. Uvame ukuqala ngokubeka isihloko futhi anikeze umbono wakhe kulokhu noma kuleso simo. Khona-ke, uyaphumelela ekukholiseni umkhulumeli wakhe ukuze avumelane nombono wakhe. Indlela engcono kakhulu yokugwema ukuwela ogibeni lwakhe ukugwema ingxoxo. Uma umbona eqala umdlalo wakhe omncane, gwema le ndaba futhi usheshe ukhulume ngokunye okungamfica angalindele.

3. Nikeza impendulo yakho futhi ungazichazi noma uziphendulele

Ngezinye izikhathi umuntu okhohlisayo umane akubuze umbuzo ongabazayo ngawe. ukwenza umuntu azizwe enecala futhi uzilawule. Uma wazi ukuthi umbuzo ozoholela komunye kanye nengxoxo engakubamba, indlela engcono kakhulu yokuzivikela ukuthi vele unikeze impendulo elula futhi ungazilungisisi. Lapho ephikelela ekuzweni umbono wakho, ungavele uphendule ngezitatimende ezilula ezinjengokuthi: “Lowo umbono wami nje! »noma futhi «uma usho njalo…».

4. Awusavumi ukukhohliswa

Mhla uvuma ukuthi ngeke usaba yisisulu salo umkhohlisi womzwelo, ngeke kusaba khona ukukhohlisa. Lokhu kumayelana nokwenza isinqumo sokuzikhulula ethonyeni lakho. Uma uyeka ukuvumela, yilapho inkululeko yakho iqala khona. Zithathele izinqumo hhayi ezisekelwe kwabanye. Kumayelana nokuthi ungasazivumeli ukuthi uthonywe imibono yakho, amazwi akho alimazayo nezihlamba zakho.

5. Sebenzisa indlela yenkungu (hlala ungacacile, ungavezi umbono wakho)

Lokhu kumayelana ungabonisi ngokugcwele umbono wakho ngombuzo noma ngesihloko. Vumela ukungabaza kuqhubeke ngale ndaba ukuze ingakwazi ukubona iqiniso bese ikukhohlisa ngendlela efanele. Lapho umbusi engazithembi, uzoba nobunzima bokuthonya isisulu sakhe. Ungakwazi futhi ukuphendula ngemibuzo yokuqukethwe. Isibonelo, uma ucelwa umbono wakho kokuthile okufana nokuthi, “USarah ungowesifazane ozigodlile,” ungase uphendule ngokuthi, “Ngigodliwe kakhulu?” ” bese ulandelela ngokuthi “mhlawumbe” noma “uma usho njalo” noma “Anginawo umbono ngale ndaba”.

6. Mthathe emdlalweni wakhe

Idlalwa kanjani nge-manipulator? Awu, kufanele dlala owakho umdlalo. Le nqubo ihlanganisa ukungabaza izenzo ze-manipulator. Inhloso lapha wukubhekana naye futhi sigqamise izinjongo zakhe nezisusa zakhe. Isibonelo, lapho ezama ukukukhohlisa noma ukwenza uzizwe unecala, mbuze imibuzo enjengokuthi, “Usho ukuthini ngalokho? »noma “Usho ukuthini?” ” . Umkhohlisi uyoke ahlehle ngoba ebona ukuthi usengozini yokumbulwa. Ngale ndlela uzokwazi ukuthi uzuze isandla esiphezulu emdlalweni wakhe futhi wawunqoba umdlalo.

7. Menze alinde

Kwesinye isikhathi iqhinga elingcono kakhulu lokulwa nokukhohlisa ukwenza yenza opharetha alinder. Ezimweni ezithile, kuyenzeka ukuthi afune isenzo noma impendulo kuwe okuthola kunzima ukuyiphikisa. Kulezi zimo, ukumenza alinde kuyisixazululo esingcono kakhulu. Imayelana nokubalekela izimfuno ezingapheli zomkhohlisi wakho namaqhinga ukuze unikezele.

8. Ukungamniki ukulawula

Ukuze ube namandla kune-manipulator, akufanele ungalokothi umnike ukulawula. Ngempela, njengoba nje uphendukezela narcissistic, the i-narcissistic manipulator idinga ukulawula yonke into. Uma uhlala uqinile futhi ungamniki ithuba lokukubopha, ngeke akwazi ukudlala indima yakhe futhi uzolahlekelwa isithakazelo esibangweni sakhe. Kumayelana nokubeka imingcele yakho kanye nokwazi ukuthi cha ngaphandle kokungabaza noma ukwesaba.

Iliphi iphuzu elibuthakathaka le-manipulator?

Umkhohlisi udinga ukulawula labo abamzungezile nendawo yakhe, ngoba uzwa ukwesaba, ukuntula ukuzethemba nokukhathazeka. Ukuziphatha okungenampilo okumudla ngaphakathi futhi kumenza adinge ukuhlupha abaseduze kwakhe ukuze azizwe ejabule. THE iphuzu elibuthakathaka le-manipulator ilele kulokhu amandla okulawula. Ngempela, njengoba kudingeka alawule yonke into, uyolahlekelwa amandla akhe lapho abanye bengenzi ngokuvumelana nezifiso zakhe.

Uma ufuna ukuphumelela ukuzikhulula kumkhohlisi, menze aqonde ukuthi awusesona isisulu sakhe futhi akasenawo amandla okukukhohlisa. Uyobe esekwazi ukuthi usuphumelele phezu kwakhe nokuthi ngeke usakuvumela lokhu kwenzeke. Futhi ukulahlekelwa ukulawula kungenye yezinto izizathu ezenza i-PN ibaleke nginothize engithandananaye. Ukuqwashisa kungase kube nzima, kodwa uma lesi sinyathelo sesithathiwe, ukwakhiwa kabusha kuzokwenzeka ngokwakho.

Isexwayiso: Ingabe ngempela ufuna ukukhohlisa?

Noma ufuna ukwazi indlela yokugoba i-manipulator, cabanga ngaphezu kwakho konke mayelana neqiniso lokuthi ukukhohlisa umkhohlisi kuzokuholela ekubeni wenze njengaye. Kodwa-ke, uma ungakuthandi okwenziwe kuwe umkhohlisi, kungani ufuna ukumlingisa futhi uwele emdlalweni wakhe? Uma lo mbono ukwethusa, yazi ukuthi kulula ukubeka izinto nokucacisa izinto.

Futhi, ukwenza izinqumo ezinengqondo kungokwesikweletu sakho. Futhi khumbula ukuthi izindlela ozisebenzisayo lapha aziklanyelwe ukumenza ahlupheke, kodwa nje ukuvimbela ukukhohlisa kwakhe. Akuwona umbuzo wokumhola ngekhala, kodwa kunalokho ukuphikisa izenzo zakhe.

Uma udinga usizo lokuphulukiswa kulandela ukuxhashazwa ngokomzwelo esikhathini esidlule noma phakathi nokuphila kwakho kwabantu abadala, yazi ukuthi ungathola usizo kumelaphi noma isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esiwuchwepheshe kulo mkhakha. Ukusekelwa uchwepheshe kuzoba usizo kakhulu kuwe ukuthi uzakhe kabusha futhi uphinde uthole ukuzethemba.