The relationship between the Narcissist and his mother

Lack of identity, physical, emotional and mental insecurity… A perverse narcissistic child has no normal relationship with his parents. His sense of security is not enough to support his self-esteem. Deciphering the relationship between a narcissist and his mother.

What is a Perverse Narcissistic Mother?

A narcissistic mother has a immutable narcissistic and perverse disorder. His mode of interaction with the other turns out to be toxic, unbalanced and pathological. She is also self-centered and manipulative. For the perverse narcissistic mother, life is like a game that she controls as she pleases.

• Narcissistic mother symptoms: she is a pathological and toxic manipulator

She is the origin a narcissistic woman whose egocentric, seductive and manipulative character does not change when she becomes a mother. She still needs a lot of attention. The narcissistic mother is devoid of empathy and feeling. The notions of love, joy and security are almost absent.

• In the narcissistic mother and son relationship, the child is only a stooge

She uses it to achieve her ends. The narcissistic evil mother is also keen to maintain her image. She wants to show an image of a mother concerned about her child’s future. Yet in private, she does everything to make her child feel guilty and fail. She may even be jealous of her child and create a toxic rivalry. The need for admiration is vital for the narcissistic mother. She considers her child as a pawn in her funereal game. The childhood of his children who have a strong chance of becoming narcissists in turn is terrible.

Does the Narcissist Love His Mother?

A narcissist is not capable of any affectivity. All he cares about is having power over situations and having control over others. With his parents, the narcissist considers the parent-child relational system as intrusive. At the narcissistic child, many problems can appear:

• aggressiveness;
• headaches ;
• night terrors…

A narcissist feels no empathy. He is never satisfied and always wants more. That is why living with a narcissist is usually exhausting, especially for those who are emotionally dependent and suffer from a low self-confidence.

The Narcissist and his Mother: Why does the Narcissist Idolize his Mother?

For a perverted narcissistic child, his mother is the first person in his life. It’s her :

• who feeds him;
• who believes in him;
• who protects him.

It is therefore dependent on her.

A narcissist and his mother have a toxic relationship. Indeed, the mother of the narcissist applauds and admires him no matter what. She tricks him into thinking he’s the best and convinces him that his friends don’t deserve him. The mother of the narcissist therefore gives him a grandiose image.

Likewise, the narcissist is never at fault for the mother. She always defends him. Even if he betrays his campaign or his friends, she will say that it is the others who are at fault and not her child. The mother also tends to minimize the faults of her child. He has a very high self-esteem. In reality, idolatry feeds on both sides.

The relationship between the narcissist and his mother can be particularly problematic for the narcissist and his campaign. The fact is that his mother will always occupy the first place in his life.

Signs to recognize a Narcissistic Perverse Mother

There are many signs to detect the profile of a narcissistic perverse mother.

1. Manipulator

For the narcissistic mother, only her needs matter. She sets up her hold using:

• the blackmail ;
• handling;
• devaluation;
• victimization.

She also does not hesitate to victimize her children to control them as she pleases.

2. Doesn’t help her child be more independent

A narcissistic mother leaves her child no privacy. She therefore does not hesitate to:

• read her diary;
• asking prying questions;
• act in such a way as to interfere in the head of his child.

She then prevents her child from evolving and does not leave him any autonomy.

3. Toxic

An evil narcissistic mother denies the identity of her child. She denigrates him, while using physical and psychological violence. This mistreatment allows him to fulfill his narcissism. In the toxic relationship of the narcissistic mother with her daughter, she does not let no room for privacy, free will and individuality of the child.

4. Constant criticism

When a mother suffers from narcissistic disorder, she constantly criticizes her child to make him feel inferior. She will mask this with supposedly benevolent intentions.

5. Use love as a reward

The children of a narcissistic mother are not used to receiving affection, attention or love. Everything revolves around the latter. The narcissistic mother decides to show affection to her children just to to keep up appearances or to get something in return.

The Narcissist and the Death of his Mother – How does he react?

A narcissist does not react like a normal person to the death of his mother.

1. His feelings

Narcissists are devoid of sadness and regret. They mostly feel anger, indignation and revenge when they don’t get what they seek. The narcissist considers the death of his mother as an abandonment.

2. Unfulfilled Revenge

Even if the mother of the narcissist is aging or seriously ill, her child does not soften. On the contrary, his behavior may get worse. The narcissist may blame him more on not getting enough attention and love.

3. His attitude

Even when his mother dies, the narcissist still needs to draw attention to himself. He uses the situation to attract people’s sympathy. He remains seductive and does not hesitate to pose as the victim by speaking ill of his mother. In fact, he views his mother’s death as a betrayal of the highest order. His narcissism continues to grow. He may even blame his mother for the attention she gets.

Bibliographic reference on the relationship between a narcissist and his mother

Here are 7 scientific references in French which deal with the theme of the relationship between the narcissist and his mother:

1. Paul-Claude Racamier – “Narcissistic perversions”
   Source: lapsychanalyste.fr
2. “Parental representations and attachment styles in sexual delinquent subjects”
   Source: erudit.org
3. “From the mother with perverse narcissism to the perverse narcissistic spouse”
   Source: hal.science
4. “Narcissistic perversion” – Psychoanalytic approach
   Source: openedition.org
5. “Hysteria and perversion: the narcissist”
   Source: cairn.info
6. “Narcissistic perversions – Paul-Claude Racamier”
   Source: psychaanalyse.com
7. “Narcissist and psychological profile”
   Source: psychotherapie-calonne.be

These references provide in-depth analyses of toxic relationships and the impact of the mother in shaping the personality of the narcissist.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the relationship between a narcissist and his mother is a toxic and destructive vicious circle, marked by mutual manipulation and baseless idolatry. The narcissistic perverted mother shapes her child’s personality by locking him into a pattern of emotional dependence and exacerbated egocentrism. This relationship, built on control and dominance, prevents the child from developing a true autonomous identity, plunging him into a cycle of emotional dysfunction. Understanding this complex dynamic allows us to better understand the repercussions on the adult life of the narcissist, both on his own balance and on his relationships with others.