Ithonya elingokwengqondo kumbhangqwana: Ungaphuma kanjani kuwo?

Theithonya elingokwengqondo kumbhangqwana ngokuvamile kuholela ekunyukeni kwengqondo okuhlanganisa ukukhohlisa, ukukhohlisa nokuncika ngokomzwelo. Bayanda abantu ababhekene nakho. Ngakho-ke ukubaluleka kokuqaphela izimpawu. Kulesi sihloko, futhi sikunikeza izeluleko ezisebenzayo zokuphuma ekulawuleni kwengqondo ebuhlotsheni.

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Kuyini ukulawula ngokwengqondo?

Ithonya elingokwengqondo liwukuthi uhlobo lwamadlozi angokwengqondo kanye nokuxhaphaza ngokwengqondo. Kwezinye izimo, kuthatha uhlobo “lokuhlushwa kwengqondo okuphindaphindiwe”. Okunjalo a i-narcissistic pervert, obuswayo ufuna ukuhlukumeza umuntu ongaphansi kwethonya lakhe. Lesi sakamuva sihumusha ngokuthi ubudlelwano obubusayo/obubusayo.

Kuthiwani ngokulawula okungokwengqondo kumbhangqwana?

Kulo mbhangqwana, ithonya elingokwengqondo lihambisana ithonya elisetshenziswa umngane womshado. Ingaziveza ezimweni ezehlukene empilweni yansuku zonke yombhangqwana. Kubonakala njengohlobo lokulahlekelwa ukwazi nokulawula lapho umuntu engaphansi kwethonya elingokwengqondo nabantu abathile.

Ithonya elingokwengqondo labashadile – Yiziphi izimpawu?

Theukubamba ngokwengqondo iwuhlobo lokuxhaphaza ngokwengqondo okuvamise ukuba nzima ukukubona. Nokho, izimpawu ezijwayelekile fakazela ukuthi umuntu ungaphansi kwethonya lomlingani wakhe:

1. Uzibeka phezu kwesisekelo

Lapho esebenzisa ukulawula kwakhe, umlingani ubonisa ukuthi akayena nje noma ubani nokuthi ukuphila ngaphandle kwakhe bekungeke kube mnandi kangako. Lolu hlobo lokukhohlisa lungakuthopha futhi likunikeze umbono wokuthi uthole iparele eliyivelakancane.

2. Ushubile

Ubudlelwano nozakwethu olawulayo buyangqubuzana. Izingxabano kanye nokufana kokumemeza akupheli. Njengoba umuntu olawulayo evame ukungqubuzana nomlingani wakhe, laba bakamuva bazobhekana nezinkinga zokucindezeleka.

3. Ulahlekelwa ukuxhumana nabantu obathandayo

Umuntu ongaphansi kwethonya ngokuvamile ulahlekelwa ukuxhumana nalabo abasondelene naye. Eqinisweni, umuntu osebenzisa ukulawula ubeka umlingani wakhe engxabano nalabo abasondelene naye. Uzokwenza noma yini ukumvimba.

4. Awuzolile

Umuntu ongaphansi kwethonya uyesaba ukuthi umlingani wakhe uzobashiya ngesikhathi esisodwa noma kwenye. Ngaphezu kwalokho, lena abangenandaba nhlobo lapho egula noma ehlangabezana nezinkinga zomsebenzi.

5. Uyamthethelela njalo

Naphezu kokuziphatha komngane womshado osebenzisa amandla akhe, isisulu sihlala sithola izaba. Uyazikhohlisa futhi ukholelwa ukuthi angashintsha ngempela.

6. Uzifela ngomuntu wakho

Umuntu ongaphansi kwethonya uhlala ecabanga ngomlingani wakhe. Nokho, uma ethanda umlingani wakhe futhi lona wakamuva emthatha, uzizwa engakhululekile lapho ecabanga ngaye.

7. Ukhishwe inyumbazane

Umlingani osebenzisa ithonya lakhe uqhelelanisa umlingani wakhe nabathandekayo bakhe. Umenza amukele izinto azithandayo. Lena ngakho-ke akasazenzi izinto azithandayo.

Ukulawulwa kwengqondo kusungulwa kanjani kumbhangqwana?

Yile ndlela ukulawulwa kwengqondo okubamba ngayo umbhangqwana ngokusho kwe-psychoanalyst uSaverio Tomasella :

• Umlingani uyayenga: uyathopha, unikeza izipho, ukhuthaza ukwethenjwa futhi ubonakala ethuthukisa ubuhlobo bokwethembana. Ngakho-ke umuntu ongaphansi kwethonya uzoba nomuzwa wokuthi usebudlelwaneni obunempilo.
• I-Vampirism: umlingani wenza ngokulawula futhi usizakala ngomlingani wakhe.
• Umlingani ubulala umlingani wakhe: usakholelwa ukuthi uyazwela futhi unengqondo, kodwa ukubamba kulokhu kuqina. Uzakwethu osebenzisa ukulawula kwakhe naye uba nodlame futhi azizwe enecala ngokubamba kwakhe. Uyadlala ukuncika ngokomzwelo.

Yiziphi izigaba zokulawula kwengqondo kumbhangqwana?

Ukulawulwa kwengqondo ngokuvamile kuhamba ngezigaba ezi-5 (hhayi kuphela kumbhangqwana):

1. Ukubeka amabala

Umkhohlisi ubheka izisulu ezihlangabezana nemibandela ethile ukuze zikwazi ukusebenzisa ukulawula kwakhe. Lokhu ngokuvamile abantu abasebenzisekayo, abangenangqondo nabanozwela. Izisulu kumele futhi zibe nekhono elihle lomkhohlisi futhi zibe usizo kuye.

2. Ukuyenga

Le i-narcissistic manipulator ehlanekezelwe uzama ukuzibonakalisa ekukhanyeni okungcono kakhulu. Wenza umlingani wakhe akholelwe ukuthi uyena ongamsiza afeze amaphupho akhe. Angakwazi mnike imali lokho umlingani wakhe akudingayo, amandla, impilo yomphakathi, uthando…

3. Ukulutheka kanye nokungathembeki

Lapho umuntu eseyengwe, umlingani ofuna ukusebenzisa ithonya lakhe uqala ukukhombisa ubuso obuthukuthele, obunamandla nobungenangqondo. Umkhohlisi uzibonakalisa eshisa futhi ebanda ukuze enze umlingani wakhe ancike futhi amthukuthelise. Uphinde amtshele ukuthi umlingani wakhe kufanele enze kanjani ukuze abe umuntu olungile futhi agweme udlame.

4. Ukulahlwa nokuhlukunyezwa

lena isigaba sokubhujiswa kwengqondo. Umuntu njengoba engaphansi kwethonya ngokuphelele, umkhohlisi ufuna ukuqeda isisulu sakhe. Angase amshiye noma amhlukumeze, aqiniseke ukuthi unikeza isisulu esimethusayo.

5. Ukwakhiwa kabusha

Ubuchopho buhlelelwe ukufuna injabulo nokugwema ubuhlungu. Umuntu ongaphansi kwethonya, ovame ukulalela imicabango yakhe, ugcina ebona ukuthi uyahlupheka. Ube eseqala ukufuna indlela yokubaleka futhi atholele umkhohlisi izaba ukuze angabunqamuli ubudlelwano. Ekugcineni uyaqaphela ukuthi yena angikwazi ukujabula ngenkathi uhlala ebudlelwaneni bokulawula. Ngakho-ke umuntu owayengaphansi kwethonya uyabunqamula ubuhlobo futhi azakhe kabusha.

Iyini imiphumela yokulawulwa kwengqondo?

Lapho ithonya elingokwengqondo liphikelela ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ubuhlobo buba yingozi. Kuholela emiphumeleni eminingi eyingozi:

• Ukuncika ngokomzwelo komuntu ongaphansi kwethonya kumkhohlisi wakhe
• Ukulahlekelwa inkululeko nokuzimela ngokuhoxa nokuzihlukanisa
• Ukuphazamiseka kwemizwelo lapho abalingani bengathembani khona
• Ukucindezeleka okungaholela emicabangweni yokuzibulala
• Umuntu noma ubuwena obuthintwa umuzwa wobudlelwane obulimazayo kumuntu ongaphansi kwethonya. Unomuzwa wokuthi akasazibambi futhi akasaziboni.

Umenza kanjani umuntu aqonde ukuthi ungaphansi kwethonya?

Ukwenza umuntu aqonde ukuthi ungaphansi kwethonya elingokwengqondo, uzodinga ekhombisa uzwela. Mbuze imibuzo efana nalena:

• “Uyafuna ukuba nobudlelwano obunje? »
• “Ungacabangani uma uhlangabezana nalezi zigcawu ongichazela zona? »
• “Udinga ini?” »

Imibuzo enjalo izobuyisela umuntu ngaphansi kwethonya ezintweni eziyisisekelo : izidingo zakhe. Into eyinhloko ukugcina uxhumano lomzwelo ngangokunokwenzeka. Kuzodingeka futhi ukuvusa umqondo obucayi kuye ngenxa yemibuzo engathathi hlangothi engadingi mbuzo othile.

Izinkomba ze-bibliographic ekulawuleni kwengqondo kumbhangqwana

Nakhu okukhethiwe kwezinkomba eziyisikhombisa zebhayibhili ngendikimba yethonya elingokwengqondo kubabhangqwana:

1. Dossios, C. (2016). “Ubudlelwano bokulawula. » Ijenali Yezazi Zengqondo, no.337, pp. 46-49.
2. U-Bonnet, G. (2024). “Ukulawula ucansi kwabashadile. » I-Psychic Notebook, no.7, pp. 34-36.
3. Hugon, C., & Nétillard, C. (2013). “Ubudlelwano bokulawula: Imodi yobudlelwano eyinkimbinkimbi. » Ijenali Yezazi Zengqondo, no.305, pp. 71-75.
4. Salmona, M. (2016). “Ukuqonda umthelela wokuvikela nokweseka kangcono izisulu zodlame lwasekhaya. »
5. U-Gruev-Vintila, A. (2021). “Ukulawula ngempoqo: Ukuhlonza udlame phakathi kwabashadile ekusebenzelaneni nasebudlelwaneni bamandla phakathi komenzi wobubi nesisulu. »
6. U-Duke Marwood, A., & Regamey, V. (2021). “Ithonya kubashadikazi nasemndenini. » Ukwelashwa Komndeni, indiza. 42, 3, pp. 247-263.
7. Bourgeois, M. (2019). “Ithonya lengqondo: incazelo ye-forensic kanye nophenyo lochwepheshe bezengqondo.

Lezi zithenjwa zinikeza umbono ojulile ezingxenyeni ezihlukene zokulawulwa kwengqondo phakathi kwabashadikazi, okuhlanganisa ukuhlaziya okucatshangelwayo, izifundo eziyizimo kanye nemithelela yokwelapha.

Isiphetho

Ukulawulwa kwengqondo ebuhlotsheni kuyiqiniso eliyinkimbinkimbi futhi elilimazayo elithinta abantu abaningi. Ukuqaphela izindlela zayo nezimpawu kuyisinyathelo esibalulekile ekuphumeni kuso futhi uzakhe kabusha. Ngenxa yokuqonda kangcono kanye namathuluzi ashintshiwe, kungenzeka ukwephula lo mbuthano ononya futhi uthole ubudlelwano obunempilo nobulinganiselayo.