Ukuqonda indlela yemizwa yozwela: Incazelo

Incazelo yozwela isenhliziyweni yobudlelwano babantu. Imele ikhono lethu lokuqonda nokuzwa imizwa yabanye. Lokhu kukwazi kwemizwa kudlala indima ebalulekile emphakathini wethu. Kuthonya ukusebenzelana kwethu kwansuku zonke kanye nentuthuko yethu yomuntu siqu. Kodwa ngale kwencazelo elula, uzwela luyinto eyinkimbinkimbi efanele ukuhlaziya okujulile.

Incazelo yezinhlobo ezahlukene zozwela

Uzwela luzibonakalisa ngezindlela eziningana ezihlukene. Ngayinye inikela ngokuhlukile ekuqondeni kwethu abanye:

Uzwela olungokomzwelo ikuvumela ukuthi uzwe lokho omunye umuntu akuzwayo. Iziveza ngokuthi:

• Ukuzwakala ngokushesha kwemizwa yabanye
• Ikhono lokuthintwa injabulo noma usizi lwabanye
• Ukuzwela ukushintsha kwemizwa okucashile
• Ukuxhumana okujulile nokusheshayo kwemizwa

Uzwela engqondweni yethu isisiza ukuba siqonde umbono wabanye. Kubandakanya:

• Ikhono lokuzibeka ngokwengqondo endaweni yomunye
• Ukuqonda okunengqondo kwezimo ezihlangene
• Ukuhlaziywa kwezimo nemibono eyahlukene
• Ukuhumusha ukuziphatha nokusabela

Ukuzwelana ngokuziphatha ihumusha ezenzweni ezibambekayo. Kuhlanganisa:

• Izenzo zokusekela nosizo
• Ukwenza ukuziphatha kwethu kuhambisane nezidingo zabanye
• Ukufuna ngenkuthalo izixazululo zokusiza
• Ukuzibandakanya ezenzweni zokunakekela.

Incazelo yozwela kumongo wokuphazamiseka kobuntu

Ukuphazamiseka kobuntu kuthinta ngqo amandla ozwela futhi kungaholelauzwela ngokweqile. I-Narcissism ikakhulukazi iveza imininingwane:

Ukubonakaliswa kwangaphandle:

• Ukuboniswa esidlangalaleni kozwelo
• Izenzo ezibaliwe zokupha
• Ukufuna ukunconywa emphakathini
• Ukuxhaphaza imizwelo okuthuthukisiwe

Amandla obudlelwano:

• Ukushintshana phakathi kokunaka ngokweqile nokunganakwa
• Ukusebenzisa izenzo zozwela njengendlela yokulawula
• Ukungahambisani phakathi kwamagama nezenzo
• Ukuntula ukujula kwangempela ngokomzwelo

Uzwela lwangempela vs. uzwela olwenziwayo

Uzwela lwangempela lubonakala ngokungaguquguquki nobuqotho. Akuncikile kuzithameli noma ukuqashelwa kwangaphandle. Lolu hlobo lozwela luyazibonakalisa:

Ngokuyimfihlo nasesidlangalaleni:

• Ukungaguquguquki kokuziphatha noma ngabe yisiphi isimo
• Ukushoda kokusesha kokuqinisekisa kwangaphandle
• ubuqiniso ukusabela ngokomzwelo
• Ukuzinza kwezenzo ezizwelayo

Ngaphandle kokulindela umvuzo:

• Ukugqugquzela kwangaphakathi ukusiza
• Ukuntuleka kwezibalo zezinzuzo zomuntu siqu
• Ukuzidela osizweni olunikeziwe
• Gxila enhlalakahleni yabanye

Ngokuphambene, uzwela olusebenzayo lumelela uhlobo lokunakekela olukha phezulu. Ibonakala ngokuthi:

• Izenzo ezibalelwe isithombe somphakathi
• Ukusesha okuqhubekayo kokuqashelwa
• Ukuziphatha okungahambisani kuye ngomongo
• Ukusetshenziswa okukhohlisayo kwezimpawu zozwela

Izingxenye ze-neurological zozwela

Ubuchopho bethu bunezindlela ezithile ezixhumene nozwela. I-Mirror neurons idlala indima ebalulekile. Zisebenza lapho sibona imizwa yabanye. Lesi sisekelo se-neurological siyachaza:

Izinqubo ezizenzakalelayo:

• Ukwenza kusebenze ngokushesha lapho ubhekene nemizwa yabanye
• Ukuzwakala kwemizwa yemvelo
• Ukuvumelanisa imizwa equlekile
• Ukulingisa kobuso okuzenzakalelayo

Izindlela zokufunda:

• Ukuthuthukiswa kancane kancane kwamakhono ozwela
• Ukuqiniswa ngesipiliyoni somphakathi
• I-Brain plasticity ekutholeni uzwela
• Umthelela wokusebenzelana kwasekuqaleni

Umthelela wokungabi naluzwelo ebudlelwaneni

Ukuntula uzwela kungaba nemiphumela emibi kakhulu ebudlelwaneni babantu. Imithelela ibonakala kumazinga amaningana:

Ngokwezinga lomzwelo:

• Ukucindezeleka kwengqondo phakathi kwalabo abathintekayo
• Ukuzwa ukungaqondi okujulile
• Izilonda ezihlala njalo ezingokomzwelo
• Ukulahlekelwa ukuzethemba

Ezingeni lobudlelwano:

• Ukuwohloka kwezibopho ezingokomzwelo
• Izingxabano ezingaxazululiwe eziqhubekayo
• Ukuhlukaniswa nomphakathi okuqhubekayo
• Ubunzima bokugcina ubudlelwano obuzinzile

Ngokuziphatha:

• Amaphethini obudlelwano angasebenzi
• Izindlela zokuzivikela ngokweqile
• Imijikelezo yobudlelwano obunobuthi
• Ukukhiqizwa kabusha kwamaphethini angalungile.

Izindlela zozwela ebuchosheni

I-Neuroscience ikhombe izifunda ezimbalwa zobuchopho ezihilelekile ekuzweleni:

Izindawo zobuchopho ezisebenzayo:

• I-Prefrontal cortex yokuhlaziywa kwengqondo
• I-Limbic system ye-resonance yemizwa
• I-Insula yokuhlanganiswa kwemizwa
• I-Amygdala yokuqaphela imizwa

Izinqubo ze-Neurological:

• Ukwenza kusebenze amasekhethi omvuzo
• Ukucubungula ulwazi lwemizwa
• Ukuvumelanisa kwezimo zemizwa
• Ukulawulwa kwezimpendulo ezizwelayo.

I-bibliographic reference ukuqonda uzwela

Nazi izikhombo zebhayibheli eziyisikhombisa endikimbeni yozwelo:

1. U-Decety, J. & Jackson, P.L. (2004). Ukuzwela: Izisekelo zomcabango nemizwa. Ku-“Neuroscience and psychology: izindlela ze-neurocognitive zozwela”, pp. 115-136. Ama-edishini ashicilelwe.
2. Lamm, C., Batson, CD, & Decety, J. (2007). I-neural substrate yozwela lomuntu: imiphumela yokubuka-ukuthatha izimpendulo ze-neural ebuhlungu babanye.. Ukuqonda, Ukuthinta, nokuziphatha kwe-Neuroscience, 7 (4), 350-358.
3. U-Rimé, B. (2005). Uzwela: izisekelo, ukubonakaliswa kanye nemibono. Ku-“Imizwa Yomphakathi,” pp. 93-113. Ama-De Boeck Superior Editions.
4. Goleman, D. (2002). I-Emotional intelligence: ungayiguqula kanjani imizwa yakho ibe ubuhlakani. Robert Laffont Editions.
5. I-Batson, CD (1991). Umbuzo we-altruism: Ubheke empendulweni yezenhlalo nezengqondo. Ku-“The Question of Altruism,” pp. 23-42. Izinhlobo ze-PUF.
6. Sander, D., & Scherer, K.R. (2009). Ithiyori yemizwa nozwela: ukusuka ekuqapheliseni kuya emzwelweni. Ku-“Imizwa: Umbono Wemikhakha Ehlukene,” kk. 245-261. Ishicilelwe yi-University Press yaseFrance.
7. Hoffman, M. L. (2000). Ukuzwela nokuthuthuka kokuziphatha: Imithelela yokunakekela kanye nobulungiswa. I-Cambridge University Press. (Ukuhunyushwa kuyatholakala ngaphansi kwesihloko esithi “Uzwela Nokuthuthukiswa Kokuziphatha” okuvela kubashicileli abaningana abakhuluma isiFulentshi.)

Lezi zithenjwa zihlanganisa izici ezihlukene zozwela, kusukela ezisekelweni zetiyori kuya ekusebenzeni okungokoqobo kuzimo zenhlalo nezengqondo.

Isiphetho

Uzwela lumele indlela eyinkimbinkimbi futhi enezinhlangothi eziningi enethonya elijulile ebudlelwaneni bethu nomphakathi wethu. Ihlanganisa izici zemizwa, ezengqondo, zezenhlalo namasiko. Ukwehlukanisa phakathi kozwela lwangempela nolusebenzayo kusiza ukuhlonza ubudlelwano obunempilo futhi kuqashelwe izinto ezinobuthi. Ukuqonda la ma-nuances kusivumela ukuthi siqonde kangcono ukubaluleka kozwela ekuthuthukisweni kobudlelwano obulinganayo phakathi kwabantu kanye nomphakathi onokuzwana. Leli khono eliyisisekelo liyaqhubeka nokuba yisihloko esithakazelisayo socwaningo kubacwaningi futhi lihlala libalulekile ekuziphendukeleni kwethu okuhlangene komphakathi.