Psychological chikoka mwa okwatirana: momwe mungatulukiremo?

Thechikoka m’maganizo mwa okwatirana nthawi zambiri kumabweretsa kukwera m’malingaliro komwe kumaphatikiza kunyengerera, kusakhulupirika komanso kudalira malingaliro. Anthu ochulukirachulukira akukumana nawo. Choncho kufunika kozindikira zizindikiro. M’nkhaniyi, tikukupatsaninso malangizo othandiza kuti mutuluke muubwenzi.

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Kodi kulamulira m’maganizo ndi chiyani?

Chikoka chamalingaliro ndi mtundu wa makolo amalingaliro ndi kusintha kwamalingaliro. Nthawi zina, zimatengera mawonekedwe a “kuzunzika m’maganizo mobwerezabwereza”. Izi a narcissistic wopotoza, wolamuliridwa amafuna kuvutitsa munthu amene amamusonkhezera. Omalizawa amamasulira ubale waukulu/wolamuliridwa.

Nanga bwanji za kuwongolera m’maganizo mwa okwatirana?

Mu banja, chikoka m’maganizo chimafanana chisonkhezero chochitidwa ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi. Ikhoza kudziwonetsera yokha muzochitika zosiyanasiyana pa moyo wa tsiku ndi tsiku wa okwatirana. Zikuwoneka ngati kutayika kwa luso ndi kuwongolera pamene munthu akhudzidwa ndi malingaliro ndi anthu ena.

Chikoka m’malingaliro a mabanja – Zizindikiro ndi ziti?

ThePsychological kugwira ndi mtundu wa kusokoneza maganizo komwe nthawi zambiri kumakhala kovuta kuzindikira. Komabe, zizindikiro zodziwika kutsimikizira kuti munthu ali pansi pa chikoka cha bwenzi lake:

1. Amadziika yekha pa chopondapo

Pamene asonyeza mphamvu zake, mnzakeyo amasonyeza kuti si munthu aliyense ndiponso kuti kukhala popanda iye sikungakhale kosangalatsa. Kunyengerera kwamtunduwu kumatha kukusangalatsani ndikukupatsani malingaliro oti mwapeza ngale yosowa.

2. Ndiwe wovuta

Ubale ndi mnzanu amene amalamulira ndi mikangano. Kukangana ndi machesi mokuwa sikutha. Monga momwe munthu wowongolera nthawi zambiri amasemphana ndi mnzake, womalizayo nthawi zambiri amakumana ndi mavuto opsinjika.

3. Mumasiya kucheza ndi okondedwa anu

Munthu amene amakopeka naye nthawi zambiri amasiya kucheza ndi anthu amene amayandikana nawo. Ndipotu, munthu amene amalamulira amaika wokondedwa wake mkangano ndi omwe ali pafupi nawo. Iye adzachita chilichonse kuti amuchotsere kwa iwo.

4. Simuli odekha

Munthu yemwe ali ndi chikoka amawopa kuti mnzakeyo angawasiye nthawi ina. Komanso, uyu ndi osayanjanitsika konse pamene akudwala kapena akukumana ndi zovuta za ntchito.

5. Mumamukhululukira nthawi zonse

Ngakhale kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wake amachita zinthu mwanzeru, wozunzidwayo nthawi zonse amapeza zifukwa. Amadzinyenga ndipo amakhulupirira kuti akhoza kusintha.

6. Mumatengeka ndi wokondedwa wanu

Munthu amene ali ndi chikoka nthawi zonse amaganiza za wokondedwa wake. Komabe, ngati amasirira mnzakeyo ndipo wachiwiriyo amamkonda, amamva kusapeza bwino akamaganizira za iye.

7. Mwadzipatula

Mnzawo wolamulira amapatutsa mnzawo kwa okondedwa awo. Amamupangitsa kuti azitengera zomwe amakonda. Ic chifukwa chake sachitanso zomwe amakonda.

Kodi kulamulira m’maganizo kumakhazikitsidwa bwanji mwa okwatirana?

Umu ndi momwe kuwongolera m’malingaliro kumagwirira ntchito mwa banja malinga ndi psychoanalyst Saverio Tomasella :

• Mnzanuyo amamukonda: amakopa, amapereka mphatso, amalimbikitsa zinsinsi ndipo amawoneka kuti akukulitsa ubale wodalirika. Choncho, munthu amene ali ndi chikoka amakhala ndi maganizo oti ali paubwenzi wabwino.
• Vampirism: mwamuna kapena mkazi amachita zinthu molamulira ndipo amapezerapo mwayi pa mnzake.
• Mwamunayo amawononga mnzake: akukhulupirirabe kuti ndi wozindikira komanso wanzeru, koma chogwira chimangolimba. Mnzake amene amalamulira nayenso amakhala wachiwawa ndipo amadziimba mlandu chifukwa cha kugwira kwake. Amasewera kudalira maganizo.

Ndi magawo otani owongolera m’malingaliro mwa okwatirana?

Kuwongolera m’malingaliro kumadutsa magawo 5 (osati angapo okha):

1. Kuwona

Wonyenga amayang’ana ozunzidwa omwe amakwaniritsa zofunikira zina kuti athe kuwongolera. Izi kawirikawiri anthu osinthika, osadziwa komanso achifundo. Ozunzidwawo ayeneranso kukhala ndi luso labwino kwa wowongolera komanso kukhala wothandiza kwa iye.

2. Kukopa

Le narcissistic wopotoza manipulator amayesa kudziwonetsera yekha m’kuunika kopambana. Amapangitsa mnzakeyo kukhulupirira kuti iye ndi amene angamuthandize kukwaniritsa maloto ake. Iye akhoza kumupatsa ndalama zomwe mnzake amafunikira, mphamvu, moyo wapagulu, chikondi…

3. Chizoloŵezi choledzeretsa ndi kuchita zachinyengo

Munthuyo akangonyengedwa, mnzake yemwe akufuna kuwonetsa chikoka chake amayamba kuwonetsa nkhope yokwiya, yaulamuliro komanso yopanda pake. Wonyenga amadziwonetsa yekha kutentha komanso kuzizira kuti mnzakeyo azidalira komanso kuti kumusokoneza. Amamuuzanso momwe mnzakeyo ayenera kuchitira kuti akhale munthu wabwino komanso kupewa chiwawa.

4. Kusiyidwa ndi kuzunzidwa

izi ndi gawo la chiwonongeko cha m’maganizo. Munthuyo ali ndi chikoka chotheratu, wonyengayo amayesa kuthetsa wozunzidwayo. Akhoza kumusiya kapena kumuvutitsa, kuonetsetsa kuti akupereka zomwe zimawopseza wozunzidwayo.

5. Kumanganso

Ubongo umapangidwa kuti uzifunafuna zosangalatsa komanso kupewa zowawa. Munthu amene ali ndi chisonkhezero, amene amakonda kumvetsera maganizo ake, pamapeto pake amazindikira kuti akuvutika. Kenako amayamba kufunafuna njira yopulumukira komanso kupeza zifukwa zopanda pake kwa wonyengayo kuti asathetse chibwenzicho. Potsirizira pake amazindikira kuti iye sangakhale wokondwa pokhalabe muubwenzi wolamulira. Choncho munthu amene anali ndi chikoka amaswa ubwenziwo n’kudzimanganso.

Kodi zotsatira za kulamulira maganizo ndi chiyani?

Pamene chikoka cha maganizo chikupitirira pakapita nthawi, ubale kukhala poyizoni. Zimabweretsa zotsatira zoyipa zambiri:

• Kudalira kwamalingaliro kwa munthu yemwe akukhudzidwa ndi wonyenga wawo
• Kutaya ufulu ndi kudziyimira pawokha ndi kudzipatula komanso kudzipatula
• Kusokonezeka maganizo kumene okondedwa sakhulupirirana
• Kupsinjika maganizo komwe kungayambitse maganizo ofuna kudzipha
• Umunthu kapena chizindikiritso chomwe chimakhudzidwa ndi zochitika zowononga zaubwenzi kwa munthu yemwe wakhudzidwa. Amakhala ndi malingaliro osadziletsa komanso sakudzizindikiranso.

Kodi mungamupangitse bwanji munthu kumvetsetsa kuti ali pansi pa chikoka?

Kuti wina amvetsetse kuti ali ndi mphamvu zamaganizidwe, muyenera kutero kusonyeza chifundo. Mufunseni mafunso monga:

• “Kodi ukufuna kukhala ndi ubale wotere? »
• “Kodi mungaganize bwanji mutakumana ndi zinthu zimene mukundifotokozerazi? »
• “Mukufuna chiyani?” »

Mafunso otere adzabweretsanso munthuyo ku zoyambira : zosowa zake. Chinthu chachikulu ndikusunga kugwirizana kwamaganizo momwe mungathere. Zidzakhalanso zofunikira kudzutsa malingaliro ofunikira mwa iye chifukwa cha mafunso osalowerera omwe safuna funso lililonse.

Maupangiri a m’mabuku okhudza kuwongolera m’malingaliro mwa okwatirana

Nawa masankho asanu ndi awiri a maumboni a m’mabuku pamutu wa kuwongolera m’malingaliro mwa maanja:

1. Dossios, C. (2016). “Mgwirizano wa ulamuliro. » Journal of Psychologists, no 337, p. 46-49.
2. Bonnet, G. (2024). “Kuletsa kugonana m’banja. » The Psychic Notebook, no 7, p. 34-36.
3. Hugon, C., & Nétillard, C. (2013). “Ubale wowongolera: Njira yovuta yaubale. » Journal of Psychologists, no 305, p. 71-75.
4. Salmona, M. (2016). “Kumvetsetsa zomwe zimathandizira kuteteza ndikuthandizira bwino omwe akuchitiridwa nkhanza zapakhomo. »
5. Gruev-Vintila, A. (2021). “Kulamulira mokakamiza: Kuzindikiritsa chiwawa pakati pa awiriwa muzochita komanso ubale wamphamvu pakati pa wolakwira ndi wozunzidwayo. »
6. Duke Marwood, A., & Regamey, V. (2021). “Chikoka pa okwatirana ndi pabanja. » Chithandizo cha Banja, ndege. 42, no 3, p. 247-263.
7. Bourgeois, M. (2019). “Chikoka m’maganizo: tanthauzo lazamalamulo ndi kufufuza kwa akatswiri amisala.

Maumboniwa akupereka malingaliro ozama pa mbali zosiyanasiyana zaulamuliro wamalingaliro m’banjamo, kuphatikizapo kusanthula mwanthanthi, kafukufuku ndi zotsatirapo za chithandizo.

Kutsiliza

Kulamulira kwamaganizo mu chiyanjano ndizovuta komanso zowonongeka zomwe zimakhudza anthu ambiri. Kuzindikira machitidwe ake ndi zizindikiro ndi sitepe yofunikira kuti mutulukemo ndi kudzimanganso. Chifukwa chomvetsetsa bwino komanso zida zosinthidwa, ndizotheka kuswa bwalo loyipali ndikupeza ubale wabwino ndi wokhazikika.