Ukukhanyisa igesi: Umsuka nokubonakaliswa kwalokhu kukhohlisa

Le ukukhanyisa igesi igama elisetshenziswa ngokwandayo, kodwa ukuqonda kwalo okunembile akukacaci kwabaningi. Kubhekiselwa ohlotsheni olucashile nolucashile lokukhohlisa, oluhlose ukwenza umuntu angabaze iqiniso lakhe siqu. Lo mkhuba ungaba nemiphumela emibi kakhulu kulabo ababa yizisulu zawo, ubashiye bedidekile futhi bengalondekile. Lesi sihloko sichaza incazelo ye-gaslighting, imvelaphi yayo, izinhlobo zayo ezihlukene kanye nemiphumela yayo engokwengqondo.

Incazelo Yokukhanyisa Ngegesi

Le ukukhanyisa igesi kuyinqubo yokukhohlisa kwengqondo lapho umuntu oyedwa noma iqembu libangela omunye umuntu ukuba angabaze umbono wabo, inkumbulo, noma ukuhluzeka kwengqondo. Isisulu sivame ukuholela ekukholelweni ukuthi imizwelo, imicabango, noma izinkumbulo zaso zingamanga noma ziyihaba. Lokhu kungase kumenze akholelwe ukuthi ingqondo yakhe ayizinzile.

Ekuqaleni, leli gama livela emdlalweni waseBrithani obizwa ngokuthi Ukukhanya Kwegesi (1938) kanye nokuguqulwa kwayo kwefilimu ka-1944. Endabeni, indoda ikhohlisa umkayo ngokulungisa ukukhanya kwezibani zegesi ekhaya labo kuyilapho iphika ushintsho. Lokhu buqili kuholela owesifazane ukuba angabaze izinzwa zakhe nesimo sakhe sengqondo.

Izimbangela Zokukhanyisa Ngegesi

Ukukhanya kwegesi kungenzeka ebuhlotsheni obuhlukahlukene phakathi kwabantu: obuseduze, umndeni, ubungane, noma umsebenzi. Izimbangela zayo zivame ukuhlotshaniswa nokuseshwa kokulawula nokubusa. Abantu abanezici ze-narcissistic noma iziyaluyalu zobuntu ezingahambisani nomphakathi bangasebenzisa lokhu kukhohlisa ukuze balondoloze uhlobo lwamandla ebudlelwaneni. Okugqugquzelayo ngemuva kokukhanyisa igesi kuhlanganisa:

• Ukugcina ukulawula Abazenzisi bavame ukufuna ukulawula isisulu.
• Ukuqinisa i- isithombe sakho okulungiselelwe kahle Ngokululaza abanye, ama-gaslighters azondla isithombe sawo futhi azibeke njengabavelele.
• Ukuvikelwa ekugxekweni : Ukukhanyisa igesi kuvumela izikhohlisi ukuthi zichezukise ukunaka kumaphutha noma amaphutha azo.

Izinhlobo ezahlukene ze-gaslighting

Ukukhanyisa igesi kungathatha izinhlobo eziningi, konke kuhloselwe ukuthunaza isisulu futhi kusenze sincike kumkhohlisi.

1. Ukuphika iqiniso

I-gaslighter ingase iphike izehlakalo ezenzeka ngempela, njengokuthi, “Akwenzekanga lokho” noma “Wenza ihaba.” Le nqubo yenza isisulu singabaze izinkumbulo zaso.

2. Ukwenqaba ukuxhumana

Kwezinye izimo, umkhohlisi angase anqabe konke ukuxhumana ngezihloko ezibucayi, ethi: “Uma uqhubeka ukhuluma ngakho, ngizohamba.” Lokhu kuthula kuphoqa isisulu ukuthi sithule ukuze singalahlekelwa ukuvunyelwa noma ukuxhumana ne-gaslighter.

3. Ukuphikisana

I-manipulator iphikisana njalo nesisulu ukuze inselele umbono wabo. Isibonelo: “Sengivele ngikutshelile ukuthi lokho bekungelona iqiniso” noma “Ukhumbula okungalungile, akunjalo ukuthi kwenzeke kanjani.”

4. Ukuphambukisa

I-gaslighter ishintsha isihloko noma iphambukise ingxoxo ukuze igweme ukubuza ukuziphatha kwabo. Angase aveze isiqephu esidlule ukuze aphambukise ingxoxo: “Khumbula, ubungekho ngisho nalapho ngikudinga.”

5. Ukunciphisa imizwa

Lolu hlobo lokukhanyisa igesi luhlose ukunciphisa imizwa yesisulu. I-gaslighter izosho izinto ezinjengokuthi, “Ukhathazeke kakhulu,” noma “Kuyinto encane, kungani wenza into enkulu ngayo?” “ukuze enze isisulu sibe sengozini.

6. Ukukhanyisa Kwegesi Okungokomzimba

Ukukhanyisa ngegesi kungabandakanya ukuhlaselwa ngokomzimba, okulandelwa ukuphikwa kwesenzo noma ubucayi baso. Isibonelo, ngemva kokufaka ukucindezela komzimba, umkhohlisi angase athi, “Angikulimanga, uzwela kakhulu.”

7. Ukukhanyisa igesi ngokusebenzisa abaxhumanisi

Ukukhanyisa igesi kommeleli kubandakanya ukusebenzisa abantu besithathu ukuthunaza isisulu. Lokhu kungase kuhlanganise abathandekayo abathatha uhlangothi lomkhohlisi, ngaleyo ndlela baqinise ukungabaza kusisulu.

Izibonelo Zezimo Zokukhanyisa Igesi

Ukukhanyisa igesi kwenzeka ezimweni ezehlukene. Nazi izibonelo ezithile ezibambekayo zalokhu kukhohlisa okusekelwe ebudlelwaneni:

• Ubudlelwano bothando : Uzakwethu okhohlisa umlingani wakhe angase aphike ubufakazi ngokuphelele ngokumbiza ngokuthi “uhlanya.”
• Ubudlelwano bomndeni : Umzali angenza ingane yakhe ingangabazi ngokuphika ukuthi kukhona into ayishilo, lapho ingane iqinisekile ngakho.
• Indawo yokusebenza : Isikhulu singakhohlisa isisebenzi ngokuphika ulwazi olubalulekile noma ngokululaza umsebenzi waso ngendlela ehlelekile.
• Abangane nobudlelwano bomphakathi : Abangane bangase bahlale bebeka umuntu phansi ngokumbiza ngokuthi “uzwela kakhulu” noma “akakwazi ukuthatha ihlaya.”

Kungani i-Gaslighting iphumelela kangaka?

Ukukhanyisa igesi kusekelwe ezindleleni eziqondile ezingokwengqondo. Ngokuphazamisa umbono womuntu ohlukunyeziwe, umkhohlisi uzuza isandla esiphezulu. Izici ezithile zomuntu ohlukunyeziwe zingase zibe nendima:

• Imibono yomuntu siqu : Abantu abanokuhlangenwe nakho kwasebuntwaneni okumakwe ubudlelwano obungqubuzanayo noma ukungavikeleki ngokomzwelo maningi amathuba okuba bathole ukukhanyiswa kwegesi.
• Uzwela kanye ukuzidela : Izisulu zivame ukuba ngabantu abanozwela abafuna ukuqonda abanye futhi abakulungele ukuzibuza.
• ukwesaba ukulahlwa : Ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa ubudlelwano obubalulekile kucindezela abanye abantu ukuthi bamukele izimo ezihlukumezayo.

Izikhombo ze-Bibliographic

Nalu uhlu lwezikhombo ze-bibliographic ezingu-7 endikimbeni yokukhanyisa igesi:

1. Hirigoyen, M.-F. (2000). Ukuhlukunyezwa ngokokuziphatha: Ubudlova obuhlanekezelwe nsuku zonke . ISyros.
2. Besson, P. (2018). Ukulawula Umqondo: Incazelo kanye Nezindaba Zengqondo . Izinguqulo Zokubuyekeza Okusha.
3. Courtet, P. (2013). Lezi amanxeba omphefumulo . Odile Jacob.
4. Beauvois, J.-L., & Joule, R.-V. (2011). Umbhalo omfushane wokukhohlisa abantu abathembekile . I-Press Universitaires de France.
5. Atwood, M. (2010). I-Stockholm Syndrome: Kungani Sihlala Nama-Manipulators? Umkhawulo.
6. ULévy, B. (2012). IPsychology of Manipulation: Ukuchaza, Ukuqonda, kanye Nokumelana . Dunod.
7. Dufour, D. (2011). Ukuphathwa Kwemizwa Ebudlelwaneni: Indlela Yokubona Futhi Ubhekane Nakho . Ama-Eyrolles.

Isiphetho

I-gaslighting iwuhlobo oluyinkimbinkimbi futhi oluyingozi lokukhohlisa kwengqondo okuhloswe ngalo ukuphuca umuntu umbono wakhe weqiniso. Imiphumela yako, nakuba ngokuvamile ingabonakali, ingabalimaza kakhulu labo ababhekana nayo, ibangele ukuba balahlekelwe ukuzethemba futhi ibenze babe sengozini yokubuswa. Lesi simo asigcini nje ebudlelwaneni obuseduze; Iphinde ibonakale emindenini, emsebenzini nasezinkundleni zokuxhumana ezibanzi.