Gaslighting: Origins and manifestations of this manipulation

Le gas lighting is an increasingly used term, but its exact understanding remains unclear to many. It refers to a subtle and insidious form of manipulation, which aims to make a person doubt their own reality. This practice can have serious consequences for those who fall victim to it, leaving them feeling confused and insecure. This article explains the definition of gaslighting, its origins, its different forms and its psychological repercussions.

Definition of Gaslighting

Le gas lighting is a process of psychological manipulation in which one person or group causes another person to doubt their perception, memory, or sanity. The victim is often led to believe that their emotions, thoughts, or memories are false or exaggerated. This can go as far as making them believe they are mentally unstable.

Originally, the term comes from a British play called Gas Light (1938) and its 1944 film adaptation. In the story, a husband manipulates his wife by adjusting the brightness of the gas lamps in their home while denying the change. This subterfuge leads the wife to doubt her senses and mental state.

The Causes of Gaslighting

Gaslighting can occur in various interpersonal relationships: intimate, familial, friendly, or professional. Its causes are often linked to a desire for control and dominance. Individuals with narcissistic traits or antisocial personality disorder may resort to this manipulation to maintain a form of power in the relationship. The motivations behind gaslighting include:

• Maintaining control Manipulators often want to maintain control over the victim.
• Reinforcement of an idealized self-image By denigrating others, gaslighters feed their own image and position themselves as dominant.
• Protection against criticism : Gaslighting allows manipulators to divert attention from their own flaws or mistakes.

The different forms of gaslighting

Gaslighting can take many forms, all aimed at destabilizing the victim and making them dependent on the manipulator.

1. The denial of reality

The gaslighter may deny events that actually occurred, such as by saying, “That never happened” or “You’re exaggerating.” This technique makes the victim doubt their memories.

2. Refusal of communication

In some cases, the manipulator may refuse to communicate about sensitive topics, stating, “If you keep talking about it, I’ll leave.” This silence forces the victim to remain silent so as not to lose approval or connection with the gaslighter.

3. The contradiction

The manipulator constantly contradicts the victim to challenge their perception. For example: “I already told you that wasn’t true” or “You’re remembering wrong, that’s not how it happened.”

4. The diversion

The gaslighter changes the subject or diverts the conversation to avoid questioning their behavior. They may bring up a past incident to deflect the discussion: “Remember, you weren’t even there when I needed you.”

5. Minimizing feelings

This form of gaslighting aims to minimize the victim’s emotions. The gaslighter will say things like, “You’re worrying too much,” or “It’s a small thing, why are you making a big deal out of it?” to make the victim feel vulnerable.

6. Physical Gaslighting

Gaslighting can include physical aggression, followed by denial of the act or its seriousness. For example, after applying physical pressure, the manipulator might say, “I didn’t hurt you; you’re too sensitive.”

7. Gaslighting through intermediaries

Proxy gaslighting involves using third parties to destabilize the victim. This can include loved ones who take the manipulator’s side, thus reinforcing the victim’s self-doubt.

Examples of Gaslighting Situations

Gaslighting occurs in a variety of contexts. Here are some concrete examples of this manipulation based on relationships:

• Romantic relationship : A partner who cheats on his partner may deny the evidence altogether by calling her “paranoid.”
• Family relationships : A parent can make their child doubt by denying having said something, when the child is sure of it.
• Workplace : A superior may manipulate an employee by denying essential information or systematically denigrating their work.
• Friends and social relationships : Friends may constantly put a person down by calling them “too sensitive” or “unable to take a joke.”

Why is Gaslighting so effective?

Gaslighting relies on very specific psychological mechanisms. By destabilizing the victim’s perception, the manipulator gains the upper hand. Certain characteristics of the victim can also play a role:

• Personal predispositions : People with childhood experiences marked by conflicted relationships or emotional insecurity are more likely to experience gaslighting.
• Empathy and altruism : Victims are often empathetic people who seek to understand others and are ready to question themselves.
• Fear of abandonment : The fear of losing an important relationship pushes some people to accept abusive situations.

References

Here is a list of 7 bibliographic references on the theme of gaslighting:

1. Hirigoyen, M.-F. (2000). Moral harassment: Perverse violence in everyday life . Syros.
2. Besson, P. (2018). Mind Control: Definition and Psychological Issues . Editions of the New Review.
3. Courtet, P. (2013). The wounds of the soul . Odile Jacob.
4. Beauvois, J.-L., & Joule, R.-V. (2011). A little treatise on manipulation for the use of honest people . University Press of France.
5. Atwood, M. (2010). Stockholm Syndrome: Why Do We Stay With Manipulators? Threshold.
6. Levy, B. (2012). Psychology of Manipulation: Defining, Understanding, and Resisting . Dunod.
7. Dufour, D. (2011). Emotional Manipulation in a Relationship: How to Recognize and Deal With It . Eyrolles.

Conclusion

Gaslighting is a complex and pernicious form of psychological manipulation aimed at depriving a person of their own perception of reality. Its effects, though often invisible, can be devastating for those who experience it, causing them to lose confidence and making them vulnerable to domination. This phenomenon is not limited to intimate relationships; it also manifests in families, at work, and within wider social networks.