Icala: Insimbi Ebomvu phakathi Kobuntwana Namanje

Ukukhubeka kwabazali ngecala kuyinto ukuxhashazwa ngokomzwelo Kuyingozi. Kuthinta kakhulu intuthuko yengane. Lesi sihloko sihlola izinhlobo nemiphumela yecala lomzali, umthelela walo wesikhathi eside, futhi sinikeza izindlela eziya ekwelapheni nasebudlelwaneni obunempilo.

Icala labazali – Kuyini?

Ukusola kwabazali kuyindlela ecashile yokulawula imizwelo engaba nemiphumela ejulile nehlala njalo ekukhuleni kwengqondo yengane. Lo mkhuba, osebenzisa umuzwa wecala njengethuluzi lokulawula, ungalolonga ubuntu bengane futhi ube nomthelela ebudlelwaneni bayo besikhathi esizayo, ubenze babe sengozini yokukhohliswa abantu abanobuthi, okuhlanganisa nabahlanekezeli be-narcissistic.

Izinhlobo ezahlukene zecala labazali

1. Isikhumbuzo esiqhubekayo semihlatshelo :
   • Imisho efana nokuthi “Ngemva kwakho konke engikwenzele kona…”
   • Ukufakwa ohlwini njalo kwemizamo nokuzidela okwenzelwa ingane
2. Ukuqhathanisa okungekuhle :
   • Ukuqhathanisa nezingane zakini, umzala noma ezinye “imodeli” izingane
   • Kusetshenziswa imishwana efana nokuthi “Kungani ungafani…”
3. Ukunikeza Izibopho Ezingalungile :
   • Izinkulumo zokuthi ingane inesibopho sokujabula noma ukungajabuli komzali
   • Imisho efana nokuthi “Uyangigulisa/ungidabukisayo uma wenza lokho”
4. Le ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo :
   • Izinsongo zokuhoxiswa kothando noma ukunakwa
   • Ukusebenzisa ukudabuka noma ukudumala njengesikhali
5. Ukulingisa kwemiphumela :
   • Ukweqisa kwemithelela emibi yezenzo zengane
   • Izibikezelo eziyinhlekelele ngekusasa lomntwana
6. Ukungeniswa kwehlazo :
   • Ukuthotshiswa esidlangalaleni noma kwangasese
   • Izinkulumo ezilulazayo ngobuntu noma amakhono engane

Umthelela ongokwengqondo enganeni

1. Ukuthuthukiswa komqondo owedlulele wokuba nesibopho :
   • Ingane izizwa inomthwalo wemfanelo ngenhlalakahle engokomzwelo yabazali bayo nabanye
   • Ukuthambekela kokubikezela kanye nokulindela izidingo zabanye kube ukulimala komuntu siqu
2. Ukuzenyeza :
   • Ukufakwa ngaphakathi kwemiyalezo engalungile nokuqhathanisa okungekuhle
   • Ukungabaza njalo ngokubaluleka namakhono omuntu
3. Ukukhathazeka okungapheli :
   • Ukwesaba njalo ukudumaza noma ukulimaza abanye
   • Ukuqapha ngokweqile ngokomzwelo ukuze kutholakale izimpawu zokungakwamukeli
4. Ubunzima bokubeka imingcele :
   • Ukwesaba ukulimaza abanye ngokugcizelela izidingo zakho siqu
   • Ukuthambekela kokubeka phambili ngokuhlelekile izidingo zabanye
5. Ukufuna ukuphelela :
   • Inkolelo yokuthi umuntu kufanele aphelele ukuze afanelwe uthando nokuvunyelwa
   • Ukwesaba njalo ukwehluleka kanye nemiphumela yako okuthiwa
6. Ukucindezelwa kwemizwa engemihle :
   • Ubunzima bokuveza intukuthelo noma ukukhungatheka ngenxa yokwesaba ukulimaza abanye
   • Ukuthambekela kokufaka imizwa engemihle ngaphakathi, okungaholela ekucindezelekeni

Imiphumela yesikhathi eside kanye nokuthuthukiswa “kwabantu abathokozisayo”

1. Icala elingapheli :
   • Umuzwa obeleselayo wokungenzi okwanele
   • Ubunzima bokujabulela ukuphila nezikhathi zenjabulo ngokugcwele
2. Ukuziphatha ” abantu ukujabulisa »:
   • Ukuthambekela kokubeka izidingo zabanye ngaphambi kwezakhe
   • Ukusesha okuqhubekayo kokugunyazwa nokuqinisekiswa kwangaphandle
3. Ukuzinikela ngokweqile ebudlelwaneni :
   • Ubunzima bokugcina ibhalansi enempilo ebudlelwaneni
   • Ukwenyuka kokubekezelela ukuziphatha okuhlukumezayo noma ukunganaki kwabanye
4. Ukuba sengcupheni ekuphathweni kwemizwa :
   • Ukuzwela okuthuthukisiwe kumasu wecala
   • Ubunzima bokubona nokumelana nokuxhashazwa ngokomzwelo
5. Izinkinga zobunikazi :
   • Ubunzima bokusungula ubuwena, obungancike kulokho okulindelwe abanye
   • Ukuthambekela kokuzichaza wena ngamehlo nezidingo zabanye
6. Ubunzima ekwenzeni izinqumo :
   • Ukwesaba okukhubaza ukwenza izinqumo ezimbi nemiphumela yazo
   • Ukuthambekela kokufuna njalo umbono nokuvunywa kwabanye ngaphambi kokuthatha isinyathelo

Isixhumanisi esinobudlelwano obunobuthi kanye nama-narcissistic perverts

Abantu abadala abake babhekana necala elinzima labazali basengozini enkulu yokukhohliswa abahlanekezeli be-narcissistic ngenxa yezizathu ezimbalwa:

1. Ukujwayelana nokukhohliswa kwemizwa:
   • Izindlela zokusola ezisetshenziswa osolwazi zingase zibonakale zijwayelekile ngakho-ke zingashaqisi kangako
2. Isidingo esikhulu sokuqinisekisa:
   • I-narcissist ingasebenzisa lesi sidingo ngokushintshanisa phakathi kokulinganisa okweqile nokugxeka okunzima.
3. Ukuthambekela kokuzidela:
   • I-narcissist ingasebenzisa kalula lokhu kuthambekela kokuthola ukunakwa nokuthandwa
4. Ubunzima bokusetha imingcele:
   • I-narcissist ingakwazi ukweqa imingcele yomuntu siqu ngaphandle kokubhekana nokuphikiswa okubalulekile
5. Umuzwa wesibopho owedlulele:
   • Ukuthambekela kokuziphendulela ngezinkinga ebudlelwaneni, ngaleyo ndlela kukhululwe i-narcissist
6. Ukuba sengozini “kokuthanda ukuqhuma kwamabhomu”:
   • Ukuqinisekiswa okuqinile okunikezwa ekuqaleni yi-narcissist kungase kubonakale kugcwalisa isikhala esijulile somzwelo

Mayelana nokuphulukisa kanye nobudlelwano obunempilo

1. Ukwelapha:
   • Umsebenzi wokwelapha ungasiza ekuhlonzeni nasekulungiseni amaphethini angaphakathi ecala
2. Ukuthuthukiswa kokuzethemba:
   • Funda ukwazisa izidingo nezifiso zakho
   • Zijwayeze ukuzizwela nokuziqinisekisa
3. Ukufunda ukuzigomela:
   • Thuthukisa amakhono okuveza izidingo zakho futhi ubeke imingcele enempilo
   • Ukuzijwayeza “Cha” Ngaphandle Kwecala Elidlulele
4. Ukuhlola kabusha ubudlelwano:
   • Thola ubudlelwano obunobuthi noma obungalingani
   • Hlakulelani ubudlelwano obuzuzisayo nobuhloniphayo
5. Sebenza ngecala:
   • Funda ukuhlukanisa umuzwa wecala onempilo necala elinobuthi
   • Yakha amasu okuphatha nokunciphisa imizwa yecala engafanele
6. Izinqubo zokucabanga nokucabanga:
   • Thuthukisa ukuqaphela kangcono imicabango nemizwa yakho
   • Funda ukubona icala ngaphandle kokusabela kulo

Isiphetho

Icala labazali lingashiya iminonjana ejulile ethinta ubudlelwano bethu kanye nendlela esizibona ngayo ngathi kukho konke ukuphila kwethu. Kodwa-ke, ngokuqaphela lawa maphethini futhi usebenze ngokuzikhandla ukuwahlenga, kungenzeka ukwakha ubudlelwano obunempilo nawe kanye nabanye.

Indlela eya ekukhululweni ezenzweni zecala ezinobuthi kanye nabantu abathokozisayo ingaba yinde futhi ibe nzima, kodwa zonke izinyathelo eziya ekuziqinisekiseni okukhulu kanye nobudlelwano obulinganiselayo buwukunqoba. Khumbula ukuthi ukubaluleka kwakho akuxhomekile ekhonweni lakho lokujabulisa abanye noma ukuthwala isisindo sezwe esingokomzwelo emahlombe akho. Ukuphulukiswa kungenzeka, futhi zonke izinyathelo ezincane zibalwa kulolu hambo oluya ekuphileni okukhululekile nokwanelisayo.