Ukuhlukaniswa kanye nemiphumela yako ku-pulse: into eyaziwa kancane

Abesifazane abayizisulu zama-narcissistic perverts bangathola ulwazi olunzulu ngokwengqondo nangokomzimba. Phakathi kwalokhu, into ebizwa ngokuthi “i-pulse dissociation” ihlala ingaziwa kodwa ingaba nomthelela omkhulu. Lesi sihloko sihlose ukuchaza ukuthi kuyini ukuzihlukanisa, ukuthi kuthinta kanjani ukushaya kwenhliziyo, nokuthi kungani kuvame ukwenzeka kumongo wobudlelwane nomhlukumezi we-narcissistic.

Kuyini ukuhlukanisa?

Ukuzihlukanisa kuyinto indlela yokuzivikela Ingqondo. Kwenzeka lapho ubuchopho buhlukana okwesikhashana neqiniso ukuze buzivikele ekucindezelekeni okukhulu. Kuyindlela yokusabela engazikhetheli evumela umuntu ukuba aziqhelelanise nesimo esibhekene naso esingabekezeleleki.

Ngokuqondile, umuntu ozihlukanisayo angase abe nomuzwa wokuthi uhlukanisiwe nemizimba yakhe noma imvelo yakhe. Angase abe nomuzwa wokuthi usenkunguni, uphelelwa yinkumbulo, noma abe nomuzwa wokuthi izinto ezimzungezile azizona ezangempela. Ukuzihlukanisa kungase kusuke ekubeni nomuzwa omnene wokuphelelwa yingqondo kuye ekulahlekelweni okuphelele kokuzazi.

Lesi simo se ukuhlukana okubuhlungu kuwukusabela okungokwemvelo kobuchopho ekuhlukumezekeni. Ikuvumela ukuthi ubekezelele okungabekezeleleki ngokudala ibanga elingokomzwelo. Kodwa uma kuba okungamahlalakhona, kungaba nemiphumela engemihle yesikhathi eside.

Izinhlobo ezahlukene zokuhlukanisa

Kunezinhlobo eziningana zokuhlukaniswa, ezingazibonakalisa ngamazinga ahlukene:

• La depersonalization : umuzwa wokuzihlukanisa nomzimba noma imicabango yakho.
• Derealization: ukuzwa ukuthi umhlaba ozungezile awuwona owangempela.
• I-dissociative amnesia: inkumbulo iyaphela mayelana nezenzakalo ezithile ezibuhlungu.
• Indiza ehlukanisayo: ukuhamba kungazelelwe ngaphandle kwesizathu esibonakalayo, ngokukhohlwa ukuthi ungubani.
• I-Dissociative Identity Disorder: ubukhona babantu abambalwa abahlukene.

Kumongo wobudlelwano nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic, amafomu avame kakhulu ukudelela umuntu nokungafezeki. Bavumela isisulu ukuthi sibekezelele ukuxhashazwa nokuhlukunyezwa ngokomqondo.

Isixhumanisi phakathi kokuhlukana nokushaya kwenhliziyo

Ukuzihlukanisa kunemiphumela yomzimba, ikakhulukazi ekushayeni kwenhliziyo. Eqinisweni, ngesikhathi sesiqephu se-dissociative, umzimba ungena esimweni “sokuqandisa” esishintsha ukusebenza kwesimiso sezinzwa ezizimele.

Lokhu kuvame ukuphumela ekuncipheni kokushaya kwenhliziyo. Inhliziyo ishaya kancane, njengokungathi umzimba uzama ukonga amandla lapho ubhekene nosongo. Lesi simo sichazwa ngokusebenza kwesimiso sezinzwa ze-parasympathetic, esibhekene nokunciphisa imisebenzi ebalulekile.

Ngokuxakayo, abanye abantu bangakwazi, ngokuphambene nalokho, ukuzwa ukusheshisa kwesilinganiso senhliziyo ngesikhathi sokuhlukaniswa. Lokhu kuchazwa ngokusebenza kwesimiso sezinzwa esinozwela, esilungiselela umzimba ukuba usabele engozini.

Lokhu kuhluka kwezinga lokushaya kwenhliziyo phakathi neziqephu ezihlukanisayo kungase kuphazamise umuntu obhekene nakho. Basiza ukuqinisa umuzwa wokungajwayelekile nokunqanyulwa komzimba.

Kungani “ukuhlukaniswa kwe-pulse” kuvame phakathi kwezisulu zama-narcissistic perverts?

Ubudlelwano nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic buwumthombo wokucindezeleka okungapheli kanye nokuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo okuphindaphindiwe. Ngokubhekene nalokhu kuhlukumeza, ukuhlukaniswa kuba yindlela yokusinda yezisulu eziningi.

Izizathu ezichaza imvamisa yokuhlukaniswa kulo mongo ziningi:

• Ukuvikelwa ebuhlungu bomzwelo: ukuhlukaniswa kukuvumela ukuthi ususe ukuhlupheka okubangelwa ukuxhashazwa nokululazwa.
• Ukuzivumelanisa nokungahlangani: inkulumo ephikisanayo ye-narcissistic pervert idala ukungezwani kwengqondo okuthi ukuhlukana kusiza ukusekela.
• Ukugwema ukungqubuzana: ukunqamula ngokomqondo kukuvumela ukuthi ugweme ukusabela futhi ngakho-ke ungacasuli intukuthelo ye-narcissistic pervert.
• Ukugcinwa kokuzethemba: ukuzihlukanisa kuvikela ubunikazi obujulile bomuntu ohlukunyeziwe lapho ebhekene nokuhlaselwa okuphindaphindiwe.
• Ukulawula umuzwa wokungabi namandla: ukuzibamba ngokwengqondo kunikeza inkohliso yokulawula isimo.

Ngakho-ke ukuhlukaniswa kuba yi-reflex evikelayo ebusweni bendawo enobuthi futhi engalindelekile. Kodwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, kungaba nemiphumela engemihle empilweni yengqondo nengokomzimba yesisulu.

Imiphumela yokuhlukana okungapheli

Uma ukuhlukaniswa kunikeza isivikelo sesikhashana, ukuphindaphinda kwakho esikhathini eside akunayo imiphumela:

Imithelela yengqondo:

• Ubunzima bokugxila nokukhumbula
• Ukuphazamiseka kwemizwa (ukucindezeleka, ukukhathazeka)
• Ukulahlekelwa ukuzazi
• Izinkinga zobudlelwano
• Umuzwa unomphela wokungekona okwangempela

Imithelela yomzimba:

• Ukukhathala okungapheliyo
• Ukuphazamiseka kokulala
• Ubuhlungu bemisipha obungachazeki
• Ukuphazamiseka kweHormonal
• Ukuncipha kwamasosha omzimba

Ukuhlukana okungapheli nakho kugcina umbuthano ononya: lapho umuntu ehlukana kakhulu, yilapho elahlekelwa khona ukuthintana nemizwa yakhe kanye nemizwa yomzimba. Lokhu kumenza abe sengozini enkulu yokuhlukunyezwa futhi kuqinisa isidingo sokuzihlukanisa.

Indima ye-narcissistic pervert ekugcineni ukuhlukana

I-narcissistic pervert, ngokuqaphela noma cha, igcina isimo sokuhlukanisa isisulu sakhe. Lokhu kumvumela ukuthi agcine ukulawula kwakhe futhi agweme noma yikuphi ukubuza.

Izenzo zayo eziningi zikhuthaza ukuhlukaniswa:

• Ukukhanyisa igesi: ngokuphika iqiniso elitholwa isisulu, kubaholela ekungabazeni imibono yabo.
• Ukushintshashintsha kwemizwa okungalindelekile: ukushintshana phakathi kwezikhathi zomusa nonya kugcina isisulu sisesimweni sokudideka.
• Theukuzihlukanisa emphakathini : ngokunqamula isisulu kubathandekayo babo, kubaphuca amaphuzu angaphandle okubhekisela kuwo.
• Ukuqagela: ngokusola isisulu ngamaphutha akhe, ufiphalisa imingcele phakathi kweqiniso namanga.
• Imikhawulo ephindwe kabili: ngokunikeza imiyalo ephikisanayo, idala isimo esinganyibiliki esiphusha ukuhlukaniswa.

Ngakho-ke, ukuhlukana kuba kokubili umphumela wokuhlukunyezwa kanye nesizinda sokuzalela kokuqhubeka kwakho.

Isixhumanisi phakathi kokuhlukaniswa kanye ne-codependency

Ukwehlukana okungamahlalakhona kungakhuthaza ukuthuthukiswa kobudlelwano obuncikene nomuntu ohlanekezela ama-narcissistic. Ngempela, ngokulahlekelwa ukuthintana nezidingo zabo siqu kanye nemingcele, isisulu siba maningi amathuba okuba sigxile kulowo athandana naye kuphela.

I-Codependency ibonakala ngokuthi:

• Isidingo eseqile sokugunyazwa
• Ubunzima bokuthi cha
• Ukuthambekela kokuzidela ngenxa yabanye
• Ukwesaba ukulahlwa
• Ukuzenyeza

Lezi zici zomlingiswa, eziqiniswe ukuhlukaniswa, zenza isisulu sibe sengozini enkulu yokukhohliswa kwe-narcissistic pervert. Zibuye zimvimbele ekubeni aqaphele isimo sakhe futhi acabangele ukuhlala ngokwahlukana.

Ukuhlukaniswa njengesithiyo enqubweni yokuphulukisa

Okudidayo ukuthi, indlela evumele isisulu ukuba sisinde ebuhlotsheni obuhlukumezayo ingaba isithiyo ekululameni kwaso uma sebuphelile. Eqinisweni, ukuhlukaniswa okungapheli:

• Ikuvimbela ukuthi ungayizwa ngokugcwele imizwa yakho, isinyathelo esidingekayo enqubweni yokuba lusizi.
• Igcina uhlobo lokuphika olubambezela ukuqwashisa ngokuhlukunyezwa okukhona.
• Kuphazamisa ikhono lokuhlelela ikusasa futhi azakhe kabusha.
• Igcina uhlobo lokuhlukana okwenza kube nzima ukwakha ubudlelwano obusha obunempilo.

Ukwengeza, ukuhluka kwesilinganiso senhliziyo okuhlobene nokuhlukaniswa kungabangela ukukhathazeka okwengeziwe nokucindezeleka. Umuntu angase esabe ukulahlekelwa ukulawula umzimba wakhe, okuqinisa isidingo sokuzihlukanisa.

Izinkomba ze-bibliographic mayelana nokuhlukaniswa

Nakhu okukhethiwe kwezikhombo eziyisikhombisa zebhayibhili ngesiFulentshi, ikakhulukazi ezesayensi, endikimbeni yokuhlukanisa:

1. I-Dermesropian, A., Goffinet, S., & de Becker, E. (2018). “Ukuhlukaniswa: ukucabanga, intshisekelo yokubanjwa nge-scarification kanye nephrothokholi yokungenelela”. I-Clinical Psychology, 2018/1 (n°45), pp. 115-133.
2. Fareng, M., & Plagnol, A. (2014). “Ukuhlukaniswa kanye nama-syndromes ahlukumezayo: iminikelo yamanje ye-hypnosis”. I-PSN, Umqulu 12, 2014/4, kk. 29-46.
3. Mahieu, E. (1997). “Qaphela ukungaboni ngaso linye emtholampilo: ukuhlukana”. Ulwazi Lwezengqondo, 1997/9, amakhasi. 809-817.
4. U-Hingray, C., & Tarquinio, C. (2021). “Ukuhlukaniswa: Ukuvikelwa noma Ukulahlekelwa Kwesizathu.” Incwadi Yodokotela Bengqondo, n°2, Juni 2021.
5. Tarquinio, C., & Auxéméry, Y. (2022). “Isahluko 6. I-Psychotrauma, i-dissociation kanye ne-dissociative disorders”. Ku Incwadi ye-psychotraumatic disorders, iphe. 174-223.
6. Kédina, B., Tarquinio, C., & Montel, L. (2012). “Ukuhlukaniswa kanye nenkumbulo ebuhlungu”. dunod, 2012.
7. Lafrance, A. (2011). “Ukuqonda ukuhlukaniswa kweziguli ezine-borderline personality disorder.” Impilo yengqondo eQuebec, Umqulu 36, inombolo 1, intwasahlobo 2011, pp. 111-128.

Lezi zikhombo zinikeza ukubuka okujulile kwezingxenye ezahlukene zokuhlukana, okuhlanganisa ukucabanga kwakho, izixhumanisi zakho zokuhlukumezeka, kanye nezindlela zokwelapha ezihambisanayo.

Isiphetho

“I-Pulse dissociation” yinto eyinkimbinkimbi ebonisa ukuxhumana phakathi komzimba nengqondo. Kwabesifazane abayizisulu zama-narcissistic perverts, kumelela kokubili isu lokusinda kanye nesithiyo esingaba khona ekwelapheni.

Ukuqonda le ndlela kusivumela ukuthi siqonde kangcono izinga lomonakalo odalwe ubuhlobo obunobuthi. Lokhu futhi kugqamisa ukubaluleka kokunakekelwa okuphelele, kucatshangelwa kokubili izici ezingokwengqondo nezingokomzimba zokuhlukumezeka.

Ukuhlukaniswa, nakuba ekuqaleni kuvikela, akufanele kube yisixazululo sesikhathi eside. Ukuthola kabusha ukuthintana nomzimba wakho kanye nemizwa yakho kuyisinyathelo esibalulekile sokuzikhulula ethonyeni le-narcissistic pervert futhi uzakhe kabusha.