Umjikelezo wobudlova: ukwenziwa kwezinto zibe ngcono, ukwehlisa intengo, ukwenqatshwa — kanye nokubuyiselwa

Incazelo: Umjikelezo wobudlova, ochazwe yisazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uLenore Walker ngo-1979, uwumjikelezo ophindaphindwayo wezigaba ezine ebuhlotsheni obunobuthi: ukungezwani → ulaka → ukubuyisana (“inyanga yomshado”) → ukuzola okubonakalayo — bese kuba nokungezwani. Ebudlelwaneni nomuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza, lo mjikelezo uvame ukuhlangana nohlobo lwesithathu lokucabanga kahle/ukwehlisa intengo/ukwenqatshwa.

Izigaba ezine ngokuningiliziwe

• 1. Ukucindezeleka : amazwi anolaka, ukuthula, ukuvala iminyango ngenkani. Isisulu sihamba phezu kwamagobolondo amaqanda futhi sizigxeka ukuze sigweme ukuqhuma — ukuphaphama ngokweqile yikho okubangela lokhu inkungu yengqondo.
• 2. Ulaka : ukumemeza, ukuhlazeka, ukuthuka, ngezinye izikhathi ukushukuma komzimba. Iphuzu elibuhlungu isisulu esikholelwa ukuthi “silicasulile”.
• 3. Ukubuyisana Ukuxolisa, izipho, izinyembezi, izithembiso — okubizwa ngokuthi isigaba somshado. Yilapho-ke ukuqinisa ngezikhathi ezithile yenza umsebenzi wayo: umvuzo ongalindelekile uvaleleka esinamathiselweni.
• 4. Ukuzola : izinsuku noma amasonto ambalwa okuphila “okuvamile”, okunikeza ithemba lokuthi kulokhu, kwakungokokugcina.

Kungani umjikelezo uqina ngokuhamba kwesikhathi

Ukuphindaphinda ngakunye komjikelezo kunciphisa isikhathi somshado futhi kwandise ukucindezeleka: ukuzola kuba ukuphumula nje kobuchwepheshe. Isisulu esisesimweni esibucayi sinamathela kakhulu esigabeni sesi-3—njengoba nje umdlali ebambelela ekuwineni kwakhe. Ngemva kweminyaka eminingi, abaningi abashiyi “ubudlelwano”; bashiya ithemba lesigaba sesi-3. Yileli themba okumele lilahlwe ukuze bahambe, hhayi nje ubudlova obubonakalayo.

Umjikelezo, ubuso

Enkingeni yobuntu obuzithanda ngokweqile, ulaka aluhlali lukhona ngokomzimba ngaso sonke isikhathi: lo mjikelezo usebenza nasekuhlukunyezweni kwengqondo — idealization yokuqala (bheka umphumela wesibuko et faking esizayo), bese kuba ukwehliswa kwenani ngu i-microtraumaBese kufika ukwenqatshwa noma ukushiywa buthule, bese kuba nombani obuyayo. Isakhiwo esifanayo, indawo ehlukile — imiphumela efanayo engqondweni.

Phula umjikelezo

• mdwebe Bhala usuku lwesigaba ngasinye ekhalendeni. Ukubona iluphu emnyama kokumhlophe kuvame ukuba yinto ethokozisayo ebangela isinqumo.
• Ungahluleli ubudlelwano ngokusekelwe esigabeni sabo sesi-3 Linganisa ngokwesilinganiso, ungalokothi ufike esicongweni.
• Thatha isinyathelo ngesikhathi sokuhlanza Izinqumo zokuhamba zilungiselelwa ngezikhathi ezizolile, hhayi phakathi kwesiphepho — yileyo injongo Uhlelo lwezinyathelo ezi-6.

Incazelo evela ku- isichazamazwi sokuhlanekezelwa kokuzikhukhumeza.