Ukunqoba I-Trauma Bonding nge-PN: Umhlahlandlela

Ukuxhumana okuhlukumezekile nomuntu ohlanekezela u-narcissistic kungaba okuhlangenwe nakho okulimaza kakhulu. Uma uzizwa uvaleleke ebuhlotsheni obunjalo naphezu kokuhlukumeza okusobala, yazi ukuthi awuwedwa. Lesi sihloko sizokutshela ukuthi unganqoba kanjani isibopho sokuhlukumezeka nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic futhi sinikeza amasu aphathekayo ukuze uzikhulule kukho.

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Amaqhinga okuhlanekezela kwe-narcissistic aqinisa isibopho sokuhlukumezeka

I-narcissistic pervert isebenzisa amasu amaningana ukugcina ukulawula kwakhe. Nawa amaqhinga asemqoka okufanele wazi:

• Umjikelezo we-idealization kanye nokwehliswa kwamanani

Umphendukezeli we-narcissistic uyingcweti kwezobuciko bokushintshashintsha kwemizwa. Ngelinye ilanga ukwenze uzizwe ungowesifazane ovelele kunabo bonke emhlabeni, ngakusasa ungelutho emehlweni akhe. Lokhu kungazinzi kudala ukuncika okukhulu ngokomzwelo, kukuphushele ukuthi uhlale ufuna ukuvunyelwa yibo.

• Ukukhanyisa igesi kanye nokukhwabanisa kweqiniso

Iqhinga elesabekayo le-narcissistic pervert ukwenza ungabaze owakho umbono wezehlakalo. Uphika izenzo zakhe zokuhlukumeza, ubhala kabusha umlando, futhi ukwenze ukholwe ukuthi “uyahlanya” noma “uzwela kakhulu.” Lokhu kukhohlisa njalo kuqeda ukuzethemba kwakho futhi kuqinisa ukuncika kwakho kuye.

• Ukuzihlukanisa okuqhubekayo

Ngokucashile kodwa ngokuqinisekile, i-narcissistic pervert ikususa ekusekelweni kwakho. Ugxeka abangani bakho, udala ukungqubuzana nomndeni wakho, futhi akakukhuthazi ukulandela izifiso zakho. Injongo? Iba iphuzu lakho eliyingqayizivele lereferensi nokuqinisekiswa.

Bona izimpawu zokuhlangana kobuhlungu nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic

Nazi izimpawu ze ukuhlangana kwe-trauma nge-PN:

• Uhlala uthethelela ukuziphatha kwakhe okuhlukumezayo
• Ubona sengathi akekho omunye ongakuqonda njengaye
• Uzwa ingxube yothando nokwesaba kumlingani wakho
• Usaba ukumshiya, nakuba wazi ukuthi ubuhlobo bunobuthi
• Uzizwa unesibopho ngenjabulo nenhlalakahle yabo

Izimbangela eziyisisekelo zokubambisana kwe-trauma

Izimbangela eziyisisekelo zalesi simo ziyinkimbinkimbi futhi ngokuvamile zisekelwe ezimisweni zengqondo nezebhayoloji.

• Umjikelezo wokuhlukunyezwa nokunethezeka : Ukushintshashintsha phakathi kokuziphatha okunobudlova nezikhathi zomusa ngasohlangothini lomhlukumezi kudala okunamathiselwe okunemibandela. Isisulu sihlobanisa izikhathi ezingavamile zokuphumula nomhlaseli, ngaleyo ndlela kuqinise ukunamathelana ngokomzwelo naphezu kokuhlupheka.
• Ukungaqiniseki nokukhathazeka : Izinguquko ezingalindelekile ekuziphatheni komhlukumezi zidala ukukhathazeka, zidale ukuncika ngokomzwelo. Isisulu sizithola sisekufuneni njalo ukuqinisekiswa noma ukugunyazwa, okuqhubeka kuqinisa isibopho nomhlukumezi.
• Ukusabela kwebhayoloji ekucindezelekeni : Ukucindezeleka okungapheli okuhlobene nokuhlukunyezwa kubangela ukukhululwa kwamahomoni afana ne-adrenaline, i-cortisol, ne-oxytocin (ihomoni yokunamathisela). Lokhu kusabela kwe-neurochemical kukhuthaza umuzwa wokusondelana nokwethembeka kumhlukumezi.
• Izici ezingokwengqondo : Isikhathi esidlule esimakwe ngokuhlukumezeka, ukuzethemba okuphansi noma isidingo esikhulu sokugunyazwa kwenza abanye abantu babe sengozini enkulu ukuhlangana kwe-trauma. Umhlukumezi angase aziqinisekise ukuthi ukuhlala ebudlelwaneni kubalulekile ukuze uthole ukunakwa nokuqinisekiswa ngumhlukumezi.
• Le ukuhlukumezeka kwasebuntwaneni

Lezi zakhi, zihlangene, zenza i- ukuhlangana kwe-trauma okunzima ukugqashula, ngokuvamile ukuvalela isisulu ebuhlotsheni obunobuthi.

Amasu okugqashula kanye nokunqoba isibopho sokuhlukumezeka

Ukuzikhulula ekuxhumaneni nokuhlukunyezwa kuthatha isikhathi nomzamo. Nawa amasu asebenzayo okuqala le nqubo:

Phinda uthintane neqiniso lakho

Gcina ilogi enemininingwane yezigameko zokuhlukumeza. Bhala phansi amaqiniso enhloso, imizwa yakho, nezizathu ozinikezayo. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, leli phephabhuku lizokusiza ukuthi ubone amaphethini okuhlukumeza ngokucacile.

Ukwakha kabusha ukuzethemba kwakho

I-narcissistic pervert kungenzeka ilulaze ukuzethemba kwakho iminyaka. Qala ngezinselele ezincane zomuntu siqu ukuze ubonise ukubaluleka kwakho kuwena. Bungaza konke ukunqoba okuncane.

Ukwakha kabusha inethiwekhi yakho yosekelo

Xhumana kabusha nabangani kanye nomndeni osuhlukene nawo. Thembeka ngesimo sakho. Ukwesekwa kwabo kuzoba usizo olukhulu enqubweni yakho yokwelapha.

Ukuphatha ukuhoxa ngokomzwelo

Ukuhlukana ne-narcissist kungabangela izimpawu ezifana nokuhoxiswa kwezidakamizwa. Lungiselela lesi sigaba esinzima:

• Prakthiza amasu okucabanga ukuze ulawule imizwa ejulile
• Zizungeze nabantu obathembayo ngalesi sikhathi
• Ungangabazi ukuxhumana nomelaphi onguchwepheshe ukuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic.

Ireferensi ye-Bibliographic yokunqoba ukuhlangana kokuhlukumezeka

Nazi izikhombo eziyisikhombisa endikimbeni ethi “Trauma Bonding”:

1. Dutton, D.G., & Painter, S. (1993). “Okunamathiselwe ngokomzwelo ebuhlotsheni obuhlukumezayo: ukuhlolwa kwethiyori ehlukumezayo yokubopha”. Ubudlova nezisulu, 8 (2), 105-120.
2. Crittenden, P. M., & Landini, A. (2011). Ukuhlola Okunamathiselwe Kwabantu Abadala: Indlela Eguqukayo-Yokukhula Kokuhlaziya Inkulumo. ENew York: Norton.
3. Carnes, P.J. (2016). “I-Trauma Bonds.” I-Healing Tree Engenzi-nzuzo.
4. Dutton, D.G., & Painter, S.L. (1981). “Ukubambisana Okubuhlungu: Ukuthuthukiswa kokusondelana ngokomzwelo kwabesifazane abashaywayo kanye nobunye ubudlelwano bokuhlukumeza ngezikhathi ezithile.” I-Victimology, 6(1-4), 139–155.
5. Sanderson, C. (2008). Ukweluleka Abasinde Ekuhlukunyezweni Kwasekhaya. London: Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
6. U-Lin-Roark, IH, Church, AT, & McCubbin, LD (2015). “Ukuhlola Kwabesifazane Abahlukunyeziwe Abalingani Babo Abasondelene Njengomlamuleli Ongaba Khona Phakathi Kokuxhashazwa Nokuzethemba.” Umbhalo Wezobudlova Komndeni, 30 (4), 453-464.
7. George, V. (2015). “I-Traumatic Bonding and Intimate Partner Violence.” I-Victoria University yaseWellington.

Lezi zithenjwa zinikeza isisekelo esiqinile sokuqonda umqondo “we-Trauma Bonding” ezimweni ezihlukahlukene.

Isiphetho: Isiqalo esisha singenzeka

Ukuzikhulula ekuboshweni okuhlukumezekile nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic kuyinselelo enkulu, kodwa futhi kuyisiqalo sempilo eyiqiniso negcwalisekile. Khumbula ukuthi ufanelwe uthando, inhlonipho kanye nomusa. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ukwesekwa nokubekezela, ungazakha kabusha futhi udale impilo ejabulisayo ekufanele.