Isibuko somphefumulo: lapho kuphakama izingxabano zethu zangaphakathi

by

Wake wazizwa sengathi izingxabano zakho zangaphandle ziwumfanekiso nje walokho okwenzeka ngaphakathi kuwe? Ake sihlole ndawonye ukuthi izimpi zethu zangaphakathi zilolonga kanjani umhlaba wethu wangaphandle nokuthi singakusebenzisa kanjani lokhu kuqonda ukuze sikhule.

Ithiyetha yangaphakathi ye-psyche yethu

Ingqondo yethu ifana nenkundla yeshashalazi lapho izingxenye zethu ezihlukene zihlala zidlala khona. Kwesinye isikhathi laba balingisi bangaphakathi bayaphikisana, badale lokhu esikubiza ngokuthi izingxabano zangaphakathi.

Abalingisi bomqondo wethu

  • Ingane yangaphakathi
  • Umuntu omdala onomthwalo wemfanelo
  • Umgxeki wangaphakathi
  • Umphuphi

Lezi zici zethu ezihlukene ngezinye izikhathi zinezidingo nezifiso ezingqubuzanayo.

Ukungqubuzana kwethu kwangaphakathi kubonakala kanjani ngaphandle

  • Umgomo wokuqagela - Imvamisa, lokho esingakuxazululanga ngaphakathi kwethu, sikuqamba kwabanye. Ngokwesibonelo, uma sishikashikeka ngaphakathi kwethu ngokufuna ukuphelela, singase sizithole sicasulwa “ukungapheleli” kwabanye.
  • Ubudlelwano njengesibuko - Ubudlelwano bethu, ikakhulukazi, busebenza njengesibuko sezingxabano zethu zangaphakathi. Ukungqubuzana nozakwethu noma ozakwethu ngokuvamile kungabonisa umzabalazo esinawo nathi.

Izimpawu zokungqubuzana kwangaphakathi

  • Ukumanqikanqika okungapheli
  • Umuzwa wecala ongachazeki
  • Ukucasulwa ukuziphatha okuthile kwabanye

Umsebenzi wokuzihlola

Thatha isikhashana ucabange: ingabe kukhona ukungqubuzana okuvela njalo empilweni yakho? Yini engaveza ngezinkinga zakho zangaphakathi?

Indlela yokunciphisa ukungqubuzana kwangaphakathi

Ukuhlonzwa kodweshu

  • Zijwayeze ukuzihlola njalo. Sebenzisa ukuzindla noma ukubhala ijenali ukuze ubone imicabango yakho nemizwa yakho ngaphandle kokwahlulela.
  • Khomba izinhlangothi ezingqubuzanayo. Isibonelo, isifiso sakho sobungcweti ngokumelene nesifiso sakho sempilo yomndeni.

Ukuhlaziywa kwezidingo eziyisisekelo

  • Ohlangothini ngalunye lwengxabano, zibuze, “Isiphi isidingo esiyisisekelo lolu hlangothi oluzama ukusanelisa? »
  • Bona ukuba yiqiniso kwesidingo ngasinye, noma ngabe zibonakala ziphikisana.

Ingxoxo yangaphakathi

  • Prakthiza "ingxoxo yamazwi angaphakathi." Nikeza izwi ohlangothini ngalunye lwengxabano.
  • Lalela uhlangothi ngalunye ngozwela, ngaphandle kokuthatha uhlangothi.

Sesha izixazululo zokudala

  • Xoxa ngezixazululo ezinganelisa izidingo zabo bobabili abathintekayo.
  • Vuleleka ekuvumelaneni okusha.

Ukuhlanganisa nokuhlanganisa

  • Bheka umbono obanzi ohlanganisa izinhlangothi zombili zodweshu.
  • Yazi ukuthi lezi zingxenye ezibonakala ziphikisana zombili ziyizingxenye ezibalulekile zakho.

Sebenza ekunciphiseni izinkolelo

  • Thola izinkolelo ezibhebhethekisa ukungqubuzana (isb: “Kufanele ngihlale ngingenasici”).
  • Cela inselele lezi zinkolelo bese uzishintsha ubeke imibono enamaphutha amaningi.

Imikhuba yokucabanga

  • Thuthukisa ikhono lakho lokubona imicabango nemizwa yakho ngaphandle kokuhlobana nayo ngokuphelele.
  • Ukuzindla kwengqondo kungasiza ukudala isikhala phakathi kwakho nezingxabano zakho zangaphakathi.

Ukuzamukela kanye nozwelo

  • Yamukela ukuthi izingxabano zangaphakathi ziyingxenye yesipiliyoni somuntu.
  • Zijwayeze ukuzizwela lapho ubhekene nezinkinga zangaphakathi.

Ukuhlola imvelaphi

  • Hlola izimpande zezingxabano zakho zangaphakathi. Ingabe zixhunywe kokuhlangenwe nakho kwasebuntwaneni noma imilayezo yangaphakathi?
  • Ukuqonda le mvelaphi kungasiza ekudambiseni amandla abo.

Isenzo esiqondanisiwe

  • Uma usuthole ukuqondanisa okuthile kwangaphakathi, thatha isinyathelo.
  • Thatha izinqumo futhi wenze ngendlela ehlonipha izingxenye ezahlukene zakho.

Buyekeza futhi ulungise

  • Phinda uhlole isimo sakho sangaphakathi.
  • Zilungiselele ukulungisa indlela yakho uma kuvela izingxabano ezintsha.

Ukwesekwa kwangaphandle

  • Ungangabazi ukufuna usizo lomelaphi noma umqeqeshi ukuze akuqondise kule nqubo.
  • Khuluma nabantu obathembayo abangakunikeza imibono eyahlukene.

Guqula ukungqubuzana kwangaphakathi kube ukukhula

  • Ukwamukelwa njengesinyathelo sokuqala - Ukubona nokwamukela ukungqubuzana kwethu kwangaphakathi kuyisinyathelo sokuqala sokuxazulula. Ayikho ingxenye yethu "enhle" noma "embi".
  • Ingxoxo yangaphakathi - Prakthiza inkhulumomphendvulwano "namazwi" akho angaphakathi ahlukene. Ingxenye ngayinye yenu ifunani ngempela?

Amathuluzi okuzulazula izingxabano zethu

  1. Ijenali: Bhala inkhulumomphendvulwano phakathi “kwezingxenye” zakho ezihlukene ezingqubuzanayo.
  2. Ukuzindla kwengqondo: Qaphela imicabango yakho ngaphandle kokwahlulela.
  3. Ukwelapha: Uchwepheshe angakusiza uxazulule izingxabano zakho zangaphakathi.

Sebenzisa izingxabano zethu zangaphandle njengamathuba okukhula

  • Bheka Ukungqubuzana Njengothisha - Konke ukungqubuzana nomhlaba wangaphandle kuyithuba lokufunda ngathi. Lokhu kungqubuzana kusitshelani ngemizabalazo yethu?
  • Zijwayeze ububele - Sibheke thina kuqala, bese siya kwabanye. Sonke silwa nokungqubuzana kwethu kwangaphakathi.

Ukubuyisana kwangaphakathi kwempilo evumelanayo

Ukubuyisana kwangaphakathi kuyinqubo ejulile futhi eguqulayo. Nakhu ukuhlola okuningiliziwe kwalo mqondo kanye nezinyathelo zokuwufinyelela. Ngokusebenza ezingxabanweni zethu zangaphakathi, singakwazi:

  • Thuthukisa ubudlelwano bethu
  • Yenza izinqumo ezihambisana kakhulu nezimiso zethu
  • Phila ngokuthula nokuzola okwengeziwe

Ukuqashelwa kwezinhlangothi ezingqubuzanayo

Ukuqashelwa kwezinhlangothi ezingqubuzanayo

Lesi sinyathelo sibandakanya ukuhlola okujulile ukuze ubone futhi uqonde izici ezihlukahlukene zobuntu bakho ezingase zingqubuzane. Nakhu ukuhlola okunemininingwane eyengeziwe:

a) Ingane elimele

  • Izici: Ukuba sengcupheni, imizwa, ukufuna ukulondeka nothando.
  • Umsuka: Ngokuvamile kuxhunyaniswa nezigigaba zobuntwana ezihlukumezayo noma izidingo ezingahlangatshezwana nazo.
  • Izinkulumo: Ukwesaba okungenangqondo, ukusabela okungokomzwelo okungalingani, isidingo esinamandla sokuvunyelwa.

b) Umuntu omdala onengqondo

  • Izici: Inengqondo, i-pragmatic, isixazululo.
  • Umsuka: Kuthuthukiswe ngemfundo, okuhlangenwe nakho kwempilo, ukuzivumelanisa nomphakathi.
  • Izinkulumo: Ukwenza izinqumo ezisekelwe eqinisweni, ukuphathwa kwansuku zonke, ukuhlela.

c) Umgxeki wangaphakathi

  • Izici: Ukwahlulela, ukungapheleli, ngokuvamile kunokhahlo.
  • Umsuka: Ukufakwa kwangaphakathi kokulindelwe okuphezulu komzali noma komphakathi.
  • Amazwi: Ukuzigxeka njalo, ukwesaba ukwehluleka, ubunzima bokugubha impumelelo.

d) Umphuphi

  • Izici: Ukudala, okunengqondo, okugxile ekungenzeka.
  • Umsuka: Kuxhunywe emicabangweni yobuntwana kanye nezifiso ezijulile.
  • Izinkulumo: Amaphrojekthi amakhulu kwesinye isikhathi angelona iqiniso, akhungathekiswa yizingqinamba zeqiniso.

e) Umdlwembe

  • Izici: I-Non-conformist, ifuna ukuzimela.
  • Umsuka: Ukusabela kuzingqinamba ezeqile ebuntwaneni noma ebusheni.
  • Izinkulumo: Ukwenqatshwa igunya, ukuziphatha okudelelayo, isifiso senkululeko ephelele.

f) Umvikeli

  • Izici: Ukuqapha, ukuzivikela, ufuna ukugwema ubuhlungu.
  • Umsuka: Kuthuthukiswe ngokuphendula ekuhlangenwe nakho kokulimala noma ukukhashelwa.
  • Izinkulumo: Ukungathembi ebudlelwaneni, ukugwema izimo eziyingozi emoyeni.

g) Abanesifiso sokuvelela

  • Izici: Kugxile empumelelweni, kunokuncintisana.
  • Umsuka: Ukulinganisa impumelelo yomphakathi, isifiso sokuqashelwa.
  • Izinkulumo: Ukubeka imigomo ephezulu, ubunzima bokuphumula, ukuthambekela ekusebenzeni ngokweqile.

h) Umondli

  • Izici: Ukuzwela, ukunakekela, okugxile ezidingweni zabanye.
  • Umsuka: Ngokuvamile kuxhunyaniswa nendima yomnakekeli wangaphambi kwesikhathi emndenini.
  • Amazwi: Ukuthambekela kokungazinaki izidingo zomuntu siqu, ubunzima bokuthi cha.

Amasu okuhlonza lezi zingxenye ze-psyche:

  1. Ijenali ye-Introspective : Bhala ngokukhululeka futhi ubheke “amazwi” ahlukene avelayo.
  2. Ukuzindla okuqondisiwe : Bona ngeso lengqondo ingxoxo yangaphakathi phakathi kwalezi zingxenye ezahlukene.
  3. Ukuhlaziya amaphupho : Amaphupho angaveza izici ezingqubuzanayo ngawe.
  4. Ukucabanga ngezinto ezivusa imizwa : Phawula ukuthi nini futhi kungani uzwa izingxabano zangaphakathi.
  5. Ukuzivocavoca kwesibuko : Khuluma nokuzindla kwakho futhi ubheke izici ezehlukene ezivezwayo.
  6. Imilaza yemindeni
  7. I-Psychotherapy & psychoanalysis

Ngokubona lezi zingxenye ezahlukene, ungaqala ukuqonda amandla ezingxabano zakho zangaphakathi. Lokhu kuqwashisa kuyisinyathelo sokuqala sokubuyisana kanye nokuhlanganiswa okujulile kobuntu bakho.

Ukuqinisekiswa kwengxenye ngayinye

Lesi sinyathelo siyisisekelo sokubuyisana kwangaphakathi. Kuhilela ukuqaphela nokwamukela zonke izici zobuntu bakho, ngisho nalezo ongase uzibheke njengezimbi noma eziyinkinga.

Ukuqonda umsebenzi wengxenye ngayinye

a) Ingane elimele

  • Inani: Igcina ukuxhumana nokuzwela kwakho nezidingo ezijulile zomzwelo.
  • Inhloso: Ikukhumbuza ngokubaluleka kokuzizwela nokunakekela ngokomzwelo.
  • Isibonelo: Uzizwa ukhathazekile ngaphambi kwesethulo esibalulekile.
  • Ukuqinisekisa: “Ngiyaqonda ukuthi uyesaba. Kuvamile ukuzizwa unovalo. Ngikhona ukuze ngikuvikele futhi sizodlula kulokhu ndawonye. »

b) Umgxeki wangaphakathi

  • Inani: Ikushayela ukuthi uthuthukise futhi ugcine amazinga aphezulu.
  • Isizathu: Ihlose ukukuvikela ekwahluleleni noma ekunqatshweni komphakathi.
  • Isibonelo: Uzigxeka wena ngephutha emsebenzini.
  • Ukuqinisekisa: “Ngiyazi ukuthi ufuna ngenze okusemandleni ami. Ngiyabonga ngokuqinisekisa izinga lomsebenzi wami. Leli phutha yithuba lokufunda nokuzithuthukisa. »

c) Umdlwembe

  • Inani: Ilondoloza ubuntu bakho kanye nekhono lakho lokubekela inselele isimo esikhona.
  • Isizathu: Ikusiza ukuthi uqinisekise imikhawulo yakho futhi umelane nengcindezi yangaphandle engadingekile.
  • Isibonelo: Uzizwa unesifiso sokushiya umsebenzi wakho ozinzile ukuze uphishekele inkanuko.
  • Ukuqinisekisa: “Ngiyasizwa isifiso sakho senkululeko nobuqiniso. Uyangisiza ukuthi ngihlale ngithembekile ezifisweni zami zangempela. »

d) Umvikeli

  • Inani: Iqinisekisa ukuphepha kwakho ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba.
  • Isizathu: Ikusiza ukuthi uzulazule ezimeni ezingaba yingozi.
  • Isibonelo: Uyangabaza ukuzibophezela ebudlelwaneni obusha ngemva kokuhlukana okubuhlungu.
  • Ukuqinisekisa: “Ngiyaqonda ukuthi uzama ukungivikela ekuhluphekeni. Ngiyabonga ngokubheka inhlalakahle yami engokomzwelo. »

e) abanesifiso sokuvelela

  • Inani: Ikhuthaza ukufeza izinhloso eziphezulu futhi idlule wena.
  • Inhloso: Iqhuba impumelelo kanye nokufezeka kwamandla omuntu.
  • Isibonelo: Usebenza sekwephuzile njalo ukuze ufeze izinhloso zakho.
  • Ukuqinisekisa: “Ngiyakwazisa ukuzimisela nesifiso sakho sokuphumelela. Ungiphusha ukuthi ngibe yikho konke engingaba yikho. »

f) Umondli

  • Inani: Ihlakulela uzwela nokuxhumana nabanye.
  • Isizathu: Iqinisekisa inhlalakahle yobudlelwano nokusekelwana.
  • Isibonelo: Uzizwa unecala ngokuzinika isikhathi sakho esikhundleni sokusiza umngane.
  • Ukuqinisekisa: “Uzwela lwakho luyimfanelo enhle. Kubalulekile ukunakekela abanye, kodwa nawe ngokwakho. »

g) Umphuphi

  • Inani: Ithuthukisa ubuhlakani nokucabanga.
  • Isizathu: Ivula imibono emisha futhi igcine ithemba.
  • Isibonelo: Uhlale ucabanga impilo ehlukile, ekuphazamisa emisebenzini yakho yamanje.
  • Ukuqinisekisa: “Ubuhlakani bakho nomcabango wakho kuyigugu. Bangisiza ukuba ngibone amathuba amasha futhi ngihlale nginethemba. »

h) Umuntu omdala onengqondo

  • Inani: Iletha ingqondo nesakhiwo ekuthathweni kwezinqumo.
  • Isizathu: Isiza ukuzulazula emhlabeni osebenzayo ngempumelelo.
  • Isibonelo: Uhlaziya ngokunganaki isimo somzwelo esiyinkimbinkimbi.
  • Ukuqinisekisa: “Ngiyabonga ngokungisiza ngibone izinto kahle. Ukuqonda kwakho kungisiza ukuthi ngenze izinqumo ezilinganiselayo. »

Amasu okuqinisekisa

a) Ingxoxo yangaphakathi enenzuzo

  • Khuluma neqembu ngalinye njengoba ubuzokhuluma nomngane othandekayo.
  • Isibonelo somgxeki wangaphakathi: “Ngiyazi ukuthi ufuna ukungisiza ngibe ngcono. Ngiyabonga ngokunakekela impumelelo yami. Asisebenzisane ngokwakhayo. »

b) Umsebenzi wokubhala ngozwela

  • Bhalela iqembu ngalinye incwadi, uhloniphe imizamo yabo kanye nezinhloso ezinhle.
  • Isibonelo somvikeli: “Mvikeli othandekayo, ngiyaqonda ukuthi uthuthukise lezi zindlela zokuvikela ukuze ungigcine ngiphephile. Ngiyabonga kuwe. Manje, ake sihlole ndawonye izindlela ezivumelana nezimo zokuzulazula emhlabeni. »

c) Ukubona ngeso lengqondo ukwamukela

  • Cabanga ingxenye ngayinye njengomlingiswa ohlukile futhi uzibone ngeso lengqondo ubamukela ngomusa.
  • Isibonelo: Cabanga ngengane yakho yangaphakathi ihlezi ebhentshini, ibukeka idangele. Zibone ngeso lengqondo uhlezi eduze kwakhe, umgona, futhi uthi, “Ngilapha ngenxa yakho.” Imizwa yakho ivumelekile futhi ibalulekile. »

d) Ukuzijwayeza ukubonga ngakuwena

  • Gcina ijenali lapho uzwakalisa ukubonga ngazo zonke izici zakho.
  • Isibonelo: “Namuhla ngiyalubonga uhlangothi lwami oluvukelayo olwanginikeza isibindi sokukhuluma emhlanganweni, nakuba umbono wami wawuhlukile. »

Ukunqoba Ukwahlulela

  • Ukuqaphela izahlulelo ezizenzakalelayo - Qaphela imicabango yakho ebucayi ezingxenyeni ezithile ngaphandle kokunamathela kuzo.
  • Ukubuza izinkolelo ezikhawulela - Hlola umsuka wezahlulelo zakho ezingezinhle ezicini ezithile zakho.
  • zibuze : “Ingabe le nkolelo ingeyami ngempela noma ngifake ngaphakathi ukwahlulela komunye umuntu? »
  • Umkhuba wokungathathi hlangothi - Yamukela ukuma kombukeli okungathathi hlangothi ubheke emaqenjini akho ahlukene. Chaza izenzo zabo nezisusa zabo ngaphandle kokuzibiza ngokuthi zinhle noma zimbi.

Ukuhlanganiswa kwezici ezinqatshiwe:

  • Ukuhlola izinzuzo ezifihliwe - Engxenyeni ngayinye ovame ukuyenqaba, khomba okungenani izinzuzo ezintathu ezikulethela yona.
  • Ukuqashelwa kokuphelelisana - Qaphela ukuthi izingxenye ozahlulela kabi zingahambisana kanjani noma zilinganisele ezinye izici zakho.
  • Ukuzivocavoca: "Kuthiwani uma bekungamandla amakhulu?" » - Cabanga ukuthi isici ngasinye osibheka njengesiphambeko singabonakala kanjani njengamandla ayingqayizivele ezimweni ezithile.

Ukubungaza ukuhlukahluka kwangaphakathi

  • Isiko lokwamukela - Dala isiko lomuntu siqu ukuze uhloniphe futhi ugubhe ingxenye ngayinye yakho.
  • Ubuhlakani obubonakalayo - Sebenzisa ubuciko, umculo noma umdanso ukuveza nokugubha izinhlangothi zakho ezahlukene.
  • Ukwabelana okuyiqiniso - Yabelana ngemicabango yakho mayelana nezingxenye zakho ezahlukene nabantu obathembayo, ukhuthaze ukwamukelwa okujulile.

Ingxoxo yangaphakathi

  • Sungula inkhulumomphendvulwano phakathi kwalamaqembu ahlukene.
  • Sebenzisa amasu afana nokwelashwa kwesitulo esingenalutho noma ukubhala izincwadi phakathi kwalezi zici.

Ukuhlola izidingo eziyisisekelo

  • Eqenjini ngalinye, khomba izidingo eziyisisekelo elifuna ukuzanelisa.
  • Isibonelo: isidingo sokuphepha, uthando, ukuqashelwa, impumelelo.

Ukupholisa amanxeba adlule

  • Thola okuhlangenwe nakho kwangaphambilini okudale lokhu kwehlukana kwangaphakathi.
  • Sebenzisa amasu okuphulukisa ngokomzwelo njenge-EMDR noma ukubona ngeso lengqondo okuqondisiwe.

Zijwayeze ukuzizwela

  • Yakha isimo sengqondo somusa kuzo zonke izingxenye zakho.
  • Sebenzisa iziqinisekiso ezinhle kanye nemikhuba yokuzindla ngomusa wothando.

Ukuhlanganiswa kwama-polarity

  • Bheka ukuthi izici ezibonakala ziphikisana zingaphilisana kanjani futhi ziphelelisane.
  • Isibonelo: ukuthi uhlangothi lwakho lokuvelela lungahlala kanjani nesidingo sakho sokuphumula.

Ukudala indaba entsha

  • Yakha indaba yempilo ehlanganisa konke okuhlangenwe nakho kwakho nezici ngendlela ehambisanayo.
  • Phinda ubhale indaba yakho siqu ngendlela ezohlonipha zonke izingxenye zakho.

Ukuzijwayeza kwengqondo

  • Hlakulela ukwazi ukufakaza okungabheka konke okuhlangenwe nakho kwakho kwangaphakathi ngaphandle kokwahlulela.
  • Lokhu kudala isikhala sobumbano ngale kokuhlukana okusobala.

Amasiko okubuyisana

  • Dala amasiko ukuze ufanekise futhi uqinise ukubuyisana kwakho kwangaphakathi.
  • Isibonelo: umkhosi wokuthethelela kuwe, isiko lokuhlanganisa izingxenye.

Ukuqondanisa izenzo nokuhlanganiswa kwangaphakathi

  • Yenza izinqumo futhi wenze ngendlela ekhombisa ukuvumelana kwakho kwangaphakathi okusha.
  • Qaphela ukuthi ungabuyeli emaphethini amadala okuhlukana kwangaphakathi.

Ukulungisa okuqhubekayo

  • Ukubuyisana kwangaphakathi kuyinqubo eqhubekayo, hhayi isimo sokuphela.
  • Zijwayeze ukuzicabangela futhi uzilungise njalo ukuze ugcine ukuzwana.

Sibungaza ubunkimbinkimbi

  • Funda ukwazisa ukunotha kwezwe lakho elingaphakathi kubo bonke ubunkimbinkimbi bawo.
  • Bona izici zakho ezihlukene njengomthombo wokudala nokuzivumelanisa nezimo.

Ukwabelana nokuxhumana

  • Yabelana ngohambo lwakho lokubuyisana kwangaphakathi nabantu obathembayo.
  • Lokhu kungaqinisa inqubo yakho futhi kukhuthaze abanye.

Ukubuyisana kwangaphakathi kuwuhambo olujulile lokuzamukela kanye nokuhlanganiswa komuntu siqu. Kuyinqubo ethatha isikhathi, isineke kanye nokuzihawukela, kodwa ingaholela ekuphileni okuyiqiniso, okuvumelanayo nokugcwaliseka kakhudlwana.

Cristina Balan
Izindatshana zakamuva zikaCristina Balan (bona konke)

Laisser un commentaire