Ukuhlaselwa kokukhathazeka ngemuva kokuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic: Ungakubona kanjani?

Ukuhlaselwa kokukhathazeka kuwumphumela ovamile futhi omubi wokuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic. Njengosindile, kubalulekile ukuqonda lezi zibonakaliso zokukhathazeka ukuze ukwazi ukuzibona futhi uzinqobe. Lesi sihloko sizokuqondisa ngezibonakaliso, izimbangela namasu okubhekana nalezi zinhlekelele, ukuze uphinde uthole ukulinganisela kwakho ngokomzwelo kanye nokuphila kahle.

Izimpawu Zokukhathazeka Ezithulile Kuyizisulu Zokuhlukunyezwa Kwe-Narcissistic

Ukukhathazeka okuvela ebudlelwaneni ne-narcissist kungazibonakalisa ngezindlela ezicashile nezingalindelekile. Nazi izimpawu eziyinhloko okufanele uzibheke:

• Ukuqhuma kwemizwa okungafani

Ungase uzithole ususabela ngokweqile ezimweni ezivamile. Isibonelo, ukungakwazi ukuthola okhiye bakho kungase kubangele ukukhala, noma ukuphawula okungenangozi okuvela kumngane kungakwenza uthukuthele. Lokhu kusabela okunamandla kuwumphumela wemizwa ecindezelwe isikhathi eside egcina ibila.

• Ukuyaluza ngokomzimba okungapheli

Ukungakwazi ukuhlala unganyakazi, ukuzamazama okungalawuleki, noma isidingo esiqhubekayo sokunyakaza kuwukubonakaliswa ngokomzimba kokukhathazeka kwangaphakathi. Lokhu kuyaluza kubonisa ukuxokozela kwemizwa onakho kanye nokulahlekelwa indlela okubangelwa ukuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic.

• Ukuhlukaniswa kanyeukuzihlukanisa emphakathini

Ungase uzizwe ungaxhunyiwe eqinisweni, ube nobunzima bokulandela izingxoxo, noma ugweme ukuxhumana nabantu. Lokhu kuhoxa kuyindlela yokuzihlukanisa indlela yokuzivikela ukubhekana nokukhathala kwengqondo okubangelwa ukuxhashazwa.

• Izimpawu ezingokomzimba zokwethuka

Ukundindizela, ukujuluka, ukushaya kwenhliziyo… Lokhu kusabela komzimba kungenzeka ngisho nasezimeni ezibonakala zingenazo ingcindezi. Ziwuphawu lokuthi isimiso sakho sezinzwa sisesimweni esingaguquki sokuqapha.

Kungani ukuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic kubangela ukuhlaselwa kokukhathazeka?

Nazi izizathu ezidala ukuhlaselwa kokukhathazeka:

• Ukubuza njalo iqiniso lakho

Ukukhanya kwegesi kanye nokukhohlisa ngokomzwelo okwenziwa yi-narcissist kubangele ukuthi uhlale ungabaza imibono nemizwa yakho. Lokhu kungaqiniseki okungapheli kuyisisekelo sokuzalela kokukhathazeka.

• Ukuguguleka kokuzethemba

Ngokugxeka, ukubukela phansi imizwa yakho nokungabi namandla, i-narcissist ibukele phansi ukuzethemba kwakho. Lokhu kuntula ukuzethemba kukhulisa imicabango yokukhathazeka nokungazethembi.

• Ukucindezeleka kwangemva kokuhlukumezeka

Ukuchayeka isikhathi eside endaweni enobuthi nengalindelekile kugcine umzimba wakho uqaphile. Ngisho nangemva kokuba ubuhlobo buphelile, isimiso sakho sezinzwa sihlala siqaphile, silungele ukusabela ophawu oluncane lwengozi. Lokhu kuthathwa ngokuthi a ukucindezeleka kwangemva kokuhlukumezeka.

• Ukulahlekelwa ubuwena

Ngokuhambisana nokulindelwe yi-narcissist, kungenzeka ukuthi ulahlekelwe ukuthintana nezifiso zakho kanye nezindinganiso zakho. Lokhu kulahlekelwa kwamaphuzu okubhekisela kwangaphakathi kuwumthombo omkhulu wokukhathazeka nokungaqiniseki.

Izingibe okufanele zigwenywe ekulawuleni ukukhathazeka ngemuva kokuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic

Ezinye izingibe ezivamile zingavimbela ukuphulukiswa. Ukuzihlonza kubalulekile ukuze ululame ngempumelelo.

• Ungazibeki icala ngokuhlaselwa kwakho kokukhathazeka

Khumbula ukuthi lokhu kusabela kuvamile uma ubhekene nakho. Ukuzizwela kubalulekile enqubweni yakho yokwelapha.

• Gwema ukuzihlukanisa isikhathi eside

Nakuba isidingo sokuzihlukanisa siqondakala, gcina ukuxhumana nabantu obathembayo. Ukwesekwa komphakathi kubalulekile ekululameni kwakho.

• Ungaziqhathanisi nabanye

Uhambo ngalunye lokuphulukisa luhlukile. Gxila enqubekela phambili yakho kunokuba uzilinganise nabanye abasindile.

• Qaphela ukulungisa okusheshayo

Ukwelapha kuthatha isikhathi. Qaphela izithembiso zokwelashwa okuyisimangaliso futhi uthanda indlela ethatha kancane nehlala njalo.

Ukucindezeleka nokukhathazeka: yini umehluko?

Lawa magama womabili avame ukusetshenziswa ngokushintshana, kodwa empeleni ahlanganisa amaqiniso ahlukene angokwengqondo. Ngayinye imelela ukusabela okungokomzwelo okuhlukile ezimweni zansuku zonke.

• Le ingcindezi:  kuwukusabela okungokwemvelo ngokomzimba nangokwengqondo esimweni esithathwa njengesicindezela noma esisongelayo. Kuyimpendulo eguquguqukayo yesikhashana ehlanganisa izinsiza zethu ukubhekana nenselele esheshayo noma ingozi. Ngokwesibonelo, inhlolokhono yomsebenzi noma umnqamulajuqu obalulekile ungabangela ukucindezeleka.
• Ukukhathazeka: limele isimo somzwelo esishubile nesijulile. Kuphumela ekwesabeni okukhulu, ngezinye izikhathi okungachazeki, okuhambisana nezimpawu ezibonakalayo ezingokomzimba ezifana nokushaya kwenhliziyo, ukundindizela noma umuzwa wokuphelelwa umoya. Ukukhathazeka kungaphezu kwamandla kangangokuthi kumkhubaze okwesikhashana umuntu obhekene nakho.

Nakuba zihlukile, lezi zimo ezingokomzwelo zixhumene futhi zingathonyana. Ukuphatha lokhu kuzizwisa ngokomzwelo kudinga ukuqonda izindlela zabo futhi, uma kunesidingo, ukufuna usizo kochwepheshe bezempilo yengqondo.

Izinkomba ze-Bibliographic zokubona ukuhlaselwa kokukhathazeka ngemva kokuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic

Nakhu okukhethiwe kwezinkomba zetimu yokuhlaselwa kokukhathazeka kulandela ukuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic:

1. Racamier, P.-C. (1992). Ukuguqulwa kweNarcissistic. I-Paris: I-Payot.
2. Eiguer, A. (2017). I-Narcissistic perverts. Paris: Presses Universitaires de France.
3. Kapsambelis, V. (2023). “Semiology kanye nomtholampilo wokukhathazeka”. Izincwadi zokubhalela ze-Clinical psychology, (35), 1-15.
4. Le Naour, R. (2007). “Izinkinga zokukhathazeka: ukuhlukahluka kwezindlela zethiyori”. Ijenali yesiFulentshi yePsychoanalysis, 71 (2), 389-403.
5. Inserm. (2020). “Izinkinga zokukhathazeka”. Isayensi yezempilo.
6. Kalone, M. (2019). “I-Narcissistic perversion kanye nephrofayili yengqondo: ukuqinisekiswa kwesayensi”. I-Psychotherapy Calonne.
7. Fithahiana, M. (2024). “Ukuhlaselwa kokukhathazeka ngemuva kokuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic.” I-Narcissistic Pervert.

Lezi zincwadi nezindatshana zinikeza imibono eyahlukene mayelana nezixhumanisi phakathi kokuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic nokuhlaselwa kokukhathazeka, ukuxuba izindlela zethiyori nezomtholampilo.

Isiphetho: Sibheke esikhathini esizayo esingenakho ukulawula i-narcissistic

Ukuhlaselwa kokukhathazeka ngemuva ukuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic ziyinselelo enkulu, kodwa azichazi ukuthi ungubani. Ngokuqonda imvelaphi yabo nokusebenzisa amasu afanele, ungakwazi kancane kancane ukuphinde ulawule impilo yakho yomzwelo.

Khumbula ukuthi ukuphulukisa akuyona inqubo eqondile. Kuyoba khona ukukhuphuka nokwehla, kodwa zonke izinyathelo eziya phambili ziwukunqoba. Wasinda ekuhlukunyezweni, futhi lawa mandla angaphakathi azokuqondisa esikhathini esizayo lapho ukukhathazeka kungasenalo izwi lokugcina.

Zizungeze ngokusekelwa, yiba nesineke kuwe, futhi ugubhe yonke inqubekelaphambili, noma ngabe incane kangakanani. Uhambo lwakho oluya ekwelapheni luyithuba lokuzitholela kabusha futhi wakhe impilo ecebile enenjongo nobuqiniso, ekhululekile ethunzini le-narcissist.