Ukukhanyisa igesi kubabhangqwana – Izimpawu okufanele uziqaphele!

Sekuyisikhathi sokukhuluma ngalezi zenzo zokuhlukumeza ezibhubhisa ubudlelwano, ubungane, kanye nezibopho zomndeni. Ujwayelene “nokusebenzisa igesi”? Kuyindlela yokukhohlisa esetshenziswa ukuthola amandla. “ukukhanda ngamatshe“Okwamanje futhi kubangela umonakalo emibhangqwaneni eminingi ebhekene nobunzima.”

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Kuyini I-Gaslighting ku-Couple?

Lokhu kuziphatha okuhlukumezayo akuseyona indaba enyanyekayo kulezi zinsuku. Wonke umuntu ukhuluma ngayo ngoba wonke umuntu ubonakala ehlushwa yiyo ebudlelwaneni bakhe. Kuyindlela esetshenziswa umlingani ebudlelwaneni babo ukuphatha et busa umlingani wakhe. Lo mlingani uzofaka isisulu sakhe ekungabazeni okuqhubekayo mayelana neqiniso elisizungezile.

Okokuqala, kumbhangqwana, kuba khona ukungaboni ngaso linye noma izingxabano ngendaba. Sihlala sigcina ngokulungisa izinto. Kodwa emshadweni lapho kukhona ukukhanyisa igesi, akukho okuzokwenzeka. Lona wakamuva uzohlala eqamba amanga ukuze enze isisulu sakhe singazinzi, enze imibono engafanele, amazwi anobuqili ukuze amenze buthaka.

Wena, oyisisulu, uzokhungatheka kakhulu kuze kube seqophelweni lapho ungabaza ukuhlakanipha kwakho. Kulokhu, ubuchopho owakwakho usephumelele ukukucekela phansi.

Ubudlelwano bakho buzoba sesimweni sokungalingani ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho ubhekene nezinkinga, ngisho nezincane kakhulu, ubuyohlala usonqenqemeni lokuhlukana. Khona-ke, uzoqamba amanga kuwe futhi, ngokuncoma ukuze akuqinisekise ukuthi konke kujwayelekile. Ukuncoma nokuthukana kuhlangana ngokuthanda kwakho ukuze ucishe uphazamiseke.  

Ungayibona kanjani i-Gaslighting ebuhlotsheni?

Uma ufuna ukwazi, kufanele unake kakhulu lezi zindlela, i-gaslighter cishe ayinakusolwa.

• Bazoqamba amanga 
• Bazokususa kubo bonke abantu abaseduze kwakho, ngoba uzophepha kuphela kubo 
• Uma unezingane, zizofakwa ozimele ngokuzenzakalelayo ngokumelene nawe 
• Izenzo namazwi Akhe azohlala ephikisana 
• Bazowaphika amazwi abawasho ngaphambilini 
• Isibopho siyohlala singowakho 
• Bazokuphendulela abanye ngokungalindelekile 
• Ngokushesha uzobhekwa njengokuphazamiseka kwengqondo 

Yiziphi izimbangela ze-Gaslighting ebudlelwaneni?

Izimbangela ze-gaslighting kumbhangqwana zihluke kakhulu. Imbangela enkulu imvelaphi ngokomzwelo,ephuma emshinini wokuzikhandla ngokwakhe. Ucabanga ukuthi isisulu siwumthombo wezinkinga zaso kodwa lokho kungamanga ngokuphelele.

I-gaslighter kumelwe ukuba yayinezinkinga ezingokomzwelo ebuntwaneni bayo. Ngokusho kwesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uDana Castro: “laba ngabantu abanazo ubuntu obungasebenzi kahle ngoba babenokuhlukumezeka ebuntwaneni babo okuxhumene nakho ukwehla. ”   

Iyini imiphumela yalokhu kuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo okuyingozi?

UVirginie Loÿ uthi: “Izigaba ezintathu umbulali azozenza ngokuqhubekayo yilezi: ukungabaza, ukubuza imibuzo nokugxeka. »

Lezi zimpawu ziyisixwayiso esikhulu sokuthi uyisisulu sokukhanyiswa ngegesi:

1. Ulahlekelwa ukuzethemba kwakho;
2. Ukungabaza okuhlala njalo okukuhlaselayo kuzokwehlukanisa nalabo abaseduze kwakho;
3. Ulahlekelwa abangane, osebenza nabo, amalungu omndeni;
4. Ukukhathazeka, ukwesaba, kanye ukukhathazeka kuzophazamisa impilo yakho yansuku zonke;

Eminye imiphumela emibi kakhulu

Ezimweni ezinzima kakhulu, uzozizwa sengathi ulahlekelwe umqondo. Uma uvaleleke kulobu budlelwano obunobuthi, uzoba nezinkinga zangempela ezingokwengqondo ezifana nokwethuka nokukhathazeka.

Ukuze wenze izinqumo, ngisho neziyisisekelo, uzodinga imvume yomlingani wakho njalo ukuze ungamcasuli. Uyoze ungabaze iseluleko esinikezwa abathandekayo bakho ukuze uzuze umlingani wakho we-gaslighter.

Uma lowo muntu esazizwa ekwazi ukubhekana nalesi simo, kufanele aqale akhulume nothandekayo wakhe amethembayo. Ukuqeda umlingani we-gaslighter kuyindaba yobuhlakani namasu. Yamukela isimo sengqondo sokuqaphela, sokuthula nesisebenzayo.

Njengoba wazi, amazwi abo aphikisana nezenzo zabo, ngakho-ke, landelela izenzo zabo futhi uqiniseke ukuthi uyazihlukanisa kancane kancane naye. Baleka kude naye uzosala ezenzela umathanda.

I-Gaslighting Couple – Ungayithola kanjani ngaphezulu?

Uma ufunda lokhu, uzodinga ukwazi ukubala izici ezithile zesu lempilo yakho, ngaphambi nangesikhathi sobudlelwano okubo. Uma ubona ezimbalwa zalezi zimpawu, hlala uqaphela ingozi ekulindile. Hlala ubheke ukuthinta kwabo okuncane, kwabo amagama noma udumo kuwe olungakulimaza ngesikhashana nje.

Ukuze uthole ukuthi uyisisulu sokukhanyiswa ngegesi noma ukushaywa ngamatshe, kala izinga lakho lokuzethemba, ukuncipha noma ukwanda. Engeza kulokho inani lalabo abaseduze nawe, uzizwe uma ucindezelekile kakhulu, ukhathazekile noma uma uzizwa unecala ngokushesha okukhulu.

Ngaphambi kokuzibophezela, hlala unake umlingani wakho wesikhathi esizayo.

Ireferensi yebhayibhiliyolwazi yokwazi izimpawu zokukhanya kwegesi kumbhangqwana

Nazi izikhombo eziyisikhombisa zebhayibhili mayelana nendaba yokukhanyisa igesi kwabashadile:

1. UStern, R. (2007). Ukukhanyisa Igesi: Ungakubona Kanjani Futhi Usinde Ekukhohliseni Okufihliwe Abanye Abakusebenzisa Ukulawula Impilo Yakho. I-Paris: Editions de l’Homme.
2. Palek, A.-L. (2024). Thola futhi uphikisane nokukhanya kwegesi: Ungakuvala kanjani kalula ukukhanya kwegesi kubudlelwano nasemsebenzini usebenzisa izimpawu eziyi-11 futhi ubalekele ogibeni lokukhohlisa ngezinyathelo ezi-5. Psiana Verlag.
3. Arabi, S. (2019). 50 Izithunzi Zokukhanyisa Ngegesi: Izimpawu Eziphazamisayo Umhlukumezi Usebenzisa Iqiniso Lakho. Izincwadi Zekhathalogi Yemicabango.
4. Kumnandi, PL (2019). “I-sociology of gaslighting.” Ukubuyekezwa Kwezenhlalakahle zaseMelika, 84 (5), 851-875.
5. I-Stark, CA (2019). “Ukukhanya kwegesi, ukunganaki kwabesifazane kanye nokucindezelwa kwengqondo”. I-Monist, 102 (2), 221-235.
6. I-Gass, GZ, & Nichols, WC (1988). “I-Gaslighting: I-Marital Syndrome.” I-Contemporary Family Therapy, 10 (1), 3-16.
7. Dorpat, T. L. (1996). Ukukhanyisa igesi, i-whammy ephindwe kabili, ukuphenywa kanye nezinye izindlela zokulawula okufihliwe ku-psychotherapy kanye ne-psychoanalysis. Northvale, NJ: Jason Aronson Inc.

Lezi zithenjwa zinikeza isisekelo esiqinile sokuqonda izindlela zokukhanyisa igesi ebudlelwaneni bezithandani futhi zinikeza imibono yokubona kanye nokubala lolu hlobo lokukhohlisa kwengqondo.

Isiphetho

Sengiphetha, ukukhanya kwegesi kuwuhlobo lokukhohlisa olucashile oluthunaza isisulu ngokusenza singabaze iqiniso laso kanye nempilo yengqondo. Ebudlelwaneni, kungaba nemiphumela ebuhlungu, kushiye umuntu esetshenziswa yedwa, ekhathazekile futhi entula ukuzethemba. Ukuqaphela lokhu kuziphatha kanye nokuthatha izinyathelo zokuzikhulula kukho kubalulekile ukuze uphinde uthole ibhalansi nokuphila kahle. Ukuzungeza abantu obathembayo nokuhlala uqaphile lezi zimpawu kungasiza ukuvikela kulolu hlobo lokuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo.

Ukuze uxhumane: Izimpawu Zokukhanyisa