I-Gaslighting: isikhali esiyimfihlo se-narcissistic pervert

Ingabe uhlale uzizwa ubuzwa, udidekile futhi udelelekile ebudlelwaneni bakho? Ungase ube yisisulu sokukhanyiswa ngegesi, uhlobo lokukhohlisa kwengqondo oluvame ukusetshenziswa abaphendukezeli be-narcissistic. Lesi sihloko sizokusiza ukuthi uqonde kangcono lesi simo futhi uphinde ukwazi ukulawula impilo yakho.

Kuyini ukukhanya kwegesi?

Ukukhanyisa igesi kuyindlela yokukhohlisa ehloselwe ukwenza umuntu angabaze umbono wakhe weqiniso. Leli gama livela emdlalweni weshashalazi lapho umyeni okhohlisayo acisha izibani zegesi ukuze enze umkakhe akholelwe ukuthi ulahlekelwa ingqondo.

Ebudlelwaneni nomuntu ophendukezela i-narcissistic, ukukhanya kwegesi kungathatha izinhlobo ezahlukene:

• Ukuphika amaqiniso noma izingxoxo
• Buza izinkumbulo zakho
• Nciphisa imizwa yakho
• Ukwenza ubukeke “uhlanya” noma “uzwela kakhulu”
• Ukwehlisa ukuzethemba kwakho emibonweni yakho
• Hola isisulu ukuba singabaze impilo yaso yengqondo

Izimpawu ezingakhohlisi

Wazi kanjani uma uyisisulu sokukhanyiswa ngegesi? Nansi imikhondo evezayo:

• Uhlale uzingabaza
• Uvame ukuxolisa ngaphandle kwesizathu
• Unobunzima bokwenza izinqumo ezilula
• Uzizwa udidekile futhi udidekile
• Awusakwethembi ukwahlulela kwakho
• Ukukhathazeka okungapheli
• Ukucindezeleka
• Ukulahlekelwa ukuzethemba
• Ukuzihlukanisa emphakathini

Uma lezi zimpawu zikhuluma nawe, yisikhathi sokuthatha isinyathelo ukuze uzivikele.

Amaqhinga Ajwayelekile Okukhanyisa Igesi

I-narcissistic pervert ivamise ukusebenzisa imisho ejwayelekile ukukuthunaza:

• “Uhlale unehaba.”
• “Akukhona lokho okwenzekile.”
• “Uzwela kakhulu”
• “Impela unenkinga yenkumbulo.”
• “Yeka ukuzwela”
• “Akukaze kwenzeke kanje”
• “Udinga usizo lwezengqondo”
• “Kungani uhlale uthukuthele?” »
• “Akekho ozokuthanda njengami.”

Funda ukuqaphela le mishwana ukuze uzivikele kangcono kuyo.

Izinhlobo ezahlukene ze-gaslighting

Ukukhanyisa igesi kungazibonakalisa ngezindlela eziningana:

1. I-gaslighting yakudala: ukuphika iqiniso lakho
2. Ukubamba igesi ngokubamba: ukwenqaba ukuxhumana
3. Ukukhanyisa igesi ngokuphikisana: ukubuza izinkumbulo zakho
4. I-Diversionary gaslighting: ukushintsha isihloko ukuze uzizwe unecala
5. Ukukhanyisa igesi ngokunciphisa: ukwenza lula imizwa yakho

Ngokuphambene nenkolelo evamile, ukukhanya kwegesi akukhona nje ukuphika umbono wakho wezenzakalo. Kumayelana nokuphika iqiniso eliwumgomo, amaqiniso aphathekayo. Lokhu kunemba kubalulekile ngoba kuqinisa isikhundla sakho phambi kwe-manipulator.

Izibonelo zikakhonkolo:

1. Umkhohlisi uthi, “Angikaze ngikusho lokho,” lapho unokurekhodwa okufakazela okuhlukile.
2. Uthi: “Akukaze kwenzeke,” naphezu kobufakazi obuphathekayo balo mcimbi.

Kungani lo mehluko ubalulekile

1. Kwakha ukuzethemba kwakho: Ngokugxila emaqinisweni abalulekile kunemibono yakho, awukho engozini enkulu yokungabaza.
2. Ikhawulela amathuba okukhohlisa: Umphendukezeli we-narcissistic akakwazi ukuthi “uneqiniso lakhe” lapho ebhekene namaqiniso aphathekayo.
3. Ikucacisela wena nabanye isimo: Amaqiniso anzima ukuphikiswa kunemizwa noma okuvelayo.

Indlela yokusebenzisa lolu lwazi

1. Bhala amaqiniso: Gcina ubufakazi obubambekayo (imiyalezo, ama-imeyili, okurekhodiwe) uma kungenzeka.
2. Gxila ezenzakalweni, hhayi ezincazelweni: “Uthe X” kunokuthi “Uqonde ukungilimaza ngokuthi uthi X.”
3. Ungabambeki ezingxoxweni ezimayelana nemibono: Hlala ugxile eqinisweni eliyiqiniso.

Isigaba sesibili sokukhanyisa igesi: Ukuhlasela komuntu siqu

Khumbula ukuthi ukukhanya kwegesi kuvame ukuba nesigaba sesibili lapho umkhohlisi ezama ukukwenza ukuthi ungabaze:

• Angase akubize ngokuthi “uyahlanya,” “awuhlelekile,” noma athi “unenkumbulo embi.”
• Kungenza i-pathologize ukusabela kwakho kwemizwa evamile.

Lokhu kuhlasela nakho kuwukuphika iqiniso. Awuhlanyi noma awukwazi ukuba nokusabela okuvamile esimweni esingavamile.

Kungani i-narcissistic pervert isebenzisa ukukhanya kwegesi?

I-narcissistic pervert iphendukela ekukhanyeni kwegesi ngezizathu ezimbalwa:

• Ukuvikela i-ego yakho entekenteke
• Gcina umuzwa wakho wamandla
• Ukugwema umthwalo wemfanelo
• Yekela icala

Ngokuqonda izisusa zabo, uyokuhlomela kangcono ukubhekana nazo.

Ukukhanya kwegesi okufihliwe: lapho intelezi yomphakathi ifihla ukuhlukunyezwa kwangasese

Wake wazizwa sengathi uphila amaqiniso amabili afanayo nomlingani wakho? Uyathandeka emphakathini, kodwa unonya ngasese? Lesi sigameko, esivame ukunganakwa, siwuhlobo olucashile lokukhanyiswa kwegesi olusetshenziswa abahlanekezeli be-narcissistic. Ake sithole ndawonye ukuthi singayibona kanjani futhi sibhekane nayo.

Ubuso obumbaxambili bomphendukezeli we-narcissistic

Ngaseceleni, ubudlelwano bakho bumakwe ngu:

• Ukugxeka njalo
• Ukukhohlisa
• Kusuka ekungasebenzini ngokomzwelo
• Amanga

Kodwa esidlangalaleni, uzakwenu uvele abe:

• Qaphela
• Uyaphana
• Kuyathandeka
• Umlingani “ophelele” emehlweni awo wonke umuntu

Lokhu okubili akukona nje ukuqondana, kuyisu lokukhohlisa.

Kungani lokhu kuziphatha kuwukukhanyisa

1. Udala i-cognitive dissonance – Uyangabaza umbono wakho weqiniso lapho ubhekene nalokhu kuqhathanisa okuphawulekayo.
2. Uhlukanisa isisulu – Labo abaseduze kwakho, abayengwe i-charm yomphakathi ye-PN, bangase babuze ulwazi lwakho.
3. Iqinisa ukubamba – Ugcina usuzibeka icala ngezinkinga zabashadikazi, ukholelwa ukuthi ubuso “bangempela” yibo obusesidlangalaleni.

Umthelela omubi wale gaslighting efihliwe

• Ukudideka kwengqondo okukhulu
• Ukuphelelwa ukuzethemba ekwahluleleni komuntu
• Umuzwa wecala unomphela
• Ukuhlukaniswa nomphakathi okuqhubekayo

Ungazivikela kanjani kulolu hlobo lwe-gaslighting

1. Themba ulwazi lwakho oluyimfihlo – Ungavumeli ukubonakala komphakathi kungasebenzi okuhlangenwe nakho kwakho kwansuku zonke.
2. Bhala izehlakalo – Gcina ijenali ukuze uqinise iqiniso lakho lapho ubhekene nokuphikisana.
3. Khuluma nabantu obathembayo – Khetha izihlobo ezingaqinisekisa ulwazi lwakho.
4. Xhumana nochwepheshe – Umelaphi okhethekile angakusiza uxazulule lokhu kudideka.

Khumbula: akulona iphutha lakho! Ukuziphatha kwe-PN ubuntu babo, hhayi izenzo zakho.

Ukubuyisela emuva ukukhanya kwegesi: Uma i-narcissistic pervert ikwenza ubonakale ungazinzile

Wake wazizwa sengathi “uyahlanya” ebudlelwaneni bakho? Awuwedwa. Masithole ndawonye iqhinga elikhohlisayo le-narcissistic pervert: reverse gaslighting.

Isimo sakudala sokukhanyisa i-gaslight

1. I-narcissistic pervert (NP) ikumangalela ngamanga noma iphika isithembiso esenziwe
2. Uzivikela ngamandla, izwi lakho lingaphakama
3. I-PN ivele yehlise umoya, ibe nesimo sengqondo esibandayo nesokwedelela
4. Usola wena ngokuthi “uyisimangaliso,” “ongazinzile,” noma “udidekile.”

Inhloso efihliwe yalolu hlelo lokusebenza

• Kwenze ungabaze ukuzinza kwakho ngokomzwelo
• Uzethula njengo “hlanya” ebudlelwaneni
• Ukuthola ukulawula ngokwehlisa ukuzethemba kwakho

Imiphumela yesikhathi eside

1. Uqala ukucindezela ukusabela kwakho ngokomzwelo
2. Uyawungabaza umbono wakho weqiniso
3. Ungase ucabange ngisho nokwelashwa, ukholelwa ukuthi uyinkinga
4. Ubuntu bakho buyancipha kancane kancane

I-PN ilisebenzisa kanjani leli qhinga emphakathini

• Kusabalalisa isithombe sakho “njengonzima” noma “ongazinzile ngokomzwelo”
• Ukusabela kwakho okusemthethweni kusetshenziselwa ukuqinisekisa lesi sithombe
• Abaseduze nawe bangase baqale ukungabaza uhlobo lwakho lwamaqiniso

Kungani leli qhinga liphumelela kangaka

1. Kudlala ngokwesaba kwakho ukubonwa njengokungazinzile
2. Kusizakala ngesifiso sakho semvelo sokuzivikela
3. Kwakha umjikelezo ononya lapho lapho uzivikela kakhulu, kulapho uvela khona “uhlanya” kakhulu.

Ukubuyisela emuva ekukhanyeni kwegesi

Nawa amanye amathiphu okuzivikela kulokhu kukhohlisa:

1. Themba intuition yakho
2. Gcina irekhodi lemicimbi
3. Khuluma nabantu obathandayo obathandayo
4. Beka imingcele ecacile
5. Xhumana nochwepheshe uma kudingeka
6. Ungazami ukuzithethelela
7. Gcina ubufakazi (imiyalezo, ama-imeyili) uma kunesidingo
8. Zizungeze nabantu abakhathalelayo

Khumbula: imibono nemizwa yakho ilungile. Ufanelwe inhlonipho nomusa.

I-narcissistic pervert (PN) ikwenza ukholwe ukuthi awufaneleki

Leli qhinga lezandla lingaba nemiphumela elimazayo ekuzethembeni kwakho nasekukhuleni kwakho siqu. I-PN ihlezi ikutshela ukuthi awukwazi ukwenza izinto ezithile, isibonelo:

• “Awukwazi ukushayela edolobheni elikhulu”
• “Awukwazi ukuqhuba ibhizinisi lakho”
• “Awusoze wakwazi ukuhlanganisa umsebenzi nezingane”

Lezi zitatimende ziphika ubuqiniso bamakhono akho futhi zenza uhlobo lokukhanyisa igesi.

Kungani kuyingozi kangaka

1. Kuqeda ukuzethemba kwakho ngokuhamba kwesikhathi
2. Uqala ukuzibekela imingcele futhi ulinge kancane
3. Kancane kancane ulahlekelwa ukuzimela kwakho

Umthelela wesikhathi eside

• Ulahla amaphupho nezifiso zakho
• Uba oncike ku-PN
• Ulahlekelwa ubuwena

I-PN ilisebenzisa kanjani leli qhinga

1. Iqala kancane, ngaphansi kwekhava ye Ukuvikelwa
2. Kancane kancane ukhulisa ukungabaza kwakhe ngamakhono akho
3. Usabela kabi uma umphikisa

Ungazivikela kanjani futhi uzakhe kabusha

1. Qaphela lolu hlobo lokukhanyisa igesi Ungaluphambanisi nokunakekela.
2. Themba amakhono akho Khumbula impumelelo yakho edlule.
3. Phendula ngomoya ophansi kodwa ngokuqinile, “Kuyajabulisa lokho, kodwa ngiyazi ukuthi ngingakwenza.” »
4. Yenza naphezu kokungabaza kwakhe Yenza lokho athi awukwazi ukukwenza.
5. Hlakulela amakhono akho ekusithekeni uma kunesidingo Thatha amakilasi aku-inthanethi, uzilolonge lapho engekho.
6. Zizungeze nabantu abakholelwa kuwe Funa ukwesekwa kubangani noma ochwepheshe.
7. Zibekele imigomo emincane, efinyelelekayo Impumelelo ngayinye izokhulisa ukuzethemba kwakho.

Buyisa amandla akho

Khumbula: amakhono akho awangempela. I-PN izama ukukukhawulela ngenxa yokwesaba ukuthi uzomshiya. Ngokuqaphela leli qhinga nokwenza naphezu kokungabaza kwakho, uphinda ukwazi ukulawula ukuphila kwakho.

Khumbula: umhlaba udinga amathalente nezipho zakho. Ungavumeli i-PN ikuvimbe ekwabelaneni ngazo. Unamandla okungaphezu kwalokho afuna ukukholwe.

Lolu hlobo olucashile lokukhanyisa igesi lungalimaza kakhulu. Ngokuyibona futhi umelane nayo ngenkuthalo, uthatha isinyathelo esibalulekile esibheke enkululekweni nasekugcwalisekeni kwakho. Ufanelwe ukuphila ngokugcwele futhi uqaphele amandla akho aphelele.

Ungayibona kanjani i-gaslighter?

Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi ungaba yisisulu sokushiswa kwegesi emsebenzini nasebunganini. I-gaslighter ingatholakala ngempela kumongo wokuxhumana okuhlukahlukene komphakathi. Ngakho-ke kuzobaluleka ukuthi ubone ukuthi yisiphi isimo lapho uzithola ubhekene ne-gaslighter. Ngempela, i-gaslighter ngumuntu ophiwe ubuhle obukhulu.

Lokhu kusobala kakhulu endabeni ye ugesi kulaba bashadikazi. Umhlukumezi uhlose ukwenza umuntu akhululeke ngokusebenzisa ubuhle bakhe ukuze andise ithonya lakhe. Uma lokhu sekuqinisekisiwe, kuzoshintshana phakathi kokuhlambalaza nokululazwa, bese kuba yisigaba sokuncoma nokuhlonishwa ukuze kwephule ingqondo yomuntu ohlukunyeziwe.

Nazi izimpawu ezihlukene ezingase zibonise ukuthi uphambi kwe-gaslighter:

1. Kufika empilweni yakho ngokuzumayo futhi ngamandla, kubangele imizwa enamandla.
2. Uzozama ukudala ukusondelana ngokushesha ukuze akuhlukanise nalabo abaseduze kwakho.
3. Lapho izincomo akunikeza zona ziyoba nomthelela kwesinye isikhathi ukubukela phansi.
4. I-gaslighter iyohlala iphika noma ibalekela bonke ubufakazi bakhe icala.
5. Uyosebenzisa amanga aluhlaza ukuze aphume enkingeni futhi agweme ukubhekana namaqiniso.

Ingabe i-Gaslighter iyazi ngokuziphatha kwayo?

Ngokungafani ne-narcissistic pervert, i-gaslighter izazi kahle izenzo zayo. Ngempela, uwasebenzisa ngokugcwele amaqhinga ahlukahlukene ukuze anqobe isisulu sakhe. Ngakho-ke uwuqaphela ngokugcwele umonakalo awenzayo. Ikakhulukazi njengoba esimweni sokuhlanekezela kwe-narcissistic inhloso yokulimaza ikhona ngempela njengoba injalo ye-gaslighter.

Ngenxa yalokho, akunakwenzeka nakancane ukubona amacala okukhanyiswa kwegesi lapho umbhali engazi ngomonakalo awenzayo. Kunesifiso sangempela sokubhubhisa umuntu ngokomzwelo nangokwengqondo.

Izimpawu ezi-4 Zokukhanya Kwegesi okufanele uzibone – Ukuhlola

Ngengozi yokubona ububi yonke indawo, kubalulekile ukuthi ungangeni ekudidekeni. Futhi kufanele wazi ukuthi i-inthanethi igcwele amasayithi anikeza izivivinyo ukuthola lokhu noma leso simo. Noma iqiniso ngesimo sangempela somuntu.

1. Uma sibheka ukukhanya kwegesi ku-psychology, sigqamisa iqiniso lokuthi kunzima kakhulu ukwazi ukuthi empeleni sikhanyiswa ngegesi. Ukukhohlisa kwenziwa ngendlela efanele ” sneaky“.
2. Kodwa-ke, kufanele wazi ukuthi kunezindlela zokubona ukukhanya kwegesi okubonwa nguwe kuphela. Umbuzo okufanele uzibuze wona uhlobene ukukhathazeka kwakho, icala, ukwesaba kanye nemibuzo yakho mayelana neqiniso.
3. Ingabe uzwile ukwanda kwale mizwa engemihle njengoba uke wahlangana nomuntu noma enye inhlangano? Kuyoba usizo futhi ukuthi uthole umbono wangaphandle ngoba amacala okukhohlisa phakathi kwabathandekayo awavamile.
4. Eqinisweni, amacala ukukhanyisa igesi kwabazali emndenini nakho kungenzeka njengoba kuboniswa ubufakazi obuthile.

Imiphumela kanye nemiphumela ye-Gaslighting empilweni yakho

Ukukhohlisa okwenziwa kumongo wokukhanyiswa kwegesi kungaba nemiphumela eyingozi ehlala njalo. Uma ukubamba kuthatha isikhathi eside, isimo sengqondo somuntu oyisisulu siyoba sibi nakakhulu. Nasi isithombe esikhulu sezisulu zalobu bubi:

• Un izinga eliphezulu lokungathembani ingakhula ize ibe sezingeni lokuthi isisulu silahlekelwe ngokuphelele ukuzethemba kuye nakubo bonke abantu.
•  Uzokwenza ngokuzihlukanisa ngokwengeziwe. I-gaslighter izoqhelela isisulu ngangokunokwenzeka kulabo abasizungezile nanoma ubani ongafinyelela kuye. Kuzodala ukungabaza engqondweni yesisulu mayelana nabathandekayo babo.
• wakhe ingqondo ididekile kuze kufike ephuzwini lokuthi uyogajwa ukwesaba futhi ahlale esesimweni esibi ngokomzwelo.

Ukukhanya kwegesi kumbhangqwana: yiziphi izimbangela?

Izimbangela zokukhanyiswa kwegesi ziningi kuye ngokuthi kwenzekani emphakathini. Ngokwengxenye yethu, sizobheka ukusetshenziswa kokugcina kumbhangqwana. Izimbangela zingaba ziningi, kodwa imvamisa ukugqama kuba khona ikakhulukazi ebudlelwaneni obunobuthi.

• I-gaslighter ayisoze yafuna ubuhlobo obulinganayo. Uzozama ngokuhlelekile ukuthumela umlingani wakhe.
• Ngenxa yokwesaba, njengendaba yokungathembeki, uphendukela ekukhanyeni kwegesi ukuze alawule umlingani wakhe.
• Kwezinye izimo, ukusetshenziswa kwe-gaslighting kuhlotshaniswa nokuntula okunamandla kokuzethemba. Ngokuzizwa edelelekile, uzocabanga ukuthi indlela yokugcina enye ingxenye iwukulawula. Umgomo wayo uwukugcina ukulawula okuphelele ebuhlotsheni ngisho noma kusho ukubenza bube yingozi, kube yingozi komunye umuntu.

Izici ezibalulekile zokukhanyisa igesi:

• Kuyinqubo ehlelekile, akusona isigameko esisodwa
• Isizakala ngokuthembana okusungulwe ebudlelwaneni
• Ihlose ukukwenza ukuthi uzingabaze
• Kuyindlela yokulawula imizwa
• Inciphisa futhi iphathe imizwa yakho
• Ingaphika amaqiniso abanzi omphakathi (isb. ukucwasa ngokwebala, ubulili)

Yini i-gaslighting engekho:

1. Ayifani ne-narcissism (yize wonke ama-narcissists eyisebenzisa)
2. Akukona nje ukuqamba amanga
3. Lokhu akuvezi umbono ohlukile
4. Ayi ukuthukuthela
5. Akukona ukuba nezinkolelo ezahlukene
6. Lokhu akuwona umehluko olula wemibono.
7. Lokhu akuyona incazelo ehlukile yesigameko esingacacile.
8. Lokhu akuwona umcabango mayelana nezisusa zakho (yize lokho kungase kube ukukhohlisa).

Isibonelo sikakhonkolo :

Uma umlingani wakho ephika ukuthi uke waba khona lapho owambona khona, kungamanga lokho. Uma engeza, “Uyahlanya ngokungiqapha kanje, udinga usizo lwezengqondo,” lokho ukukhanya kwegesi.

Ungazivikela kanjani ekukhanyisweni kwegesi:

1. Themba umbono wakho
2. Izehlakalo zamadokhumenti (ulogi, amarekhodi)
3. Khuluma nabantu obathembayo
4. Bona amaphethini aphindayo
5. Unganqikazi ukubonisana nochwepheshe

Indlela yokusiza isisulu sokukhanyisa igesi? Isixazululo

Ukuze usize isisulu sokukhanyiswa kwegesi, ingxoxo evulekile iyona ndlela engcono kakhulu. Kubalulekile ukuxoxa naye ngezinguquko ezahlukene ezingokomzwelo nangokwengqondo ozibonayo. Uma wehlulela ukuthi lo muntu udabukile kakhulu, uhlukaniswe yedwa futhi udangele, kufanele uthathe isinyathelo ngokushesha. Ngempela, lapho isikhathi esiningi sidlula, kuyoba nzima nakakhulu ukukhipha umuntu ekubanjweni umanipulator noma i-narcissistic pervert esebenza njenge-gaslighter.

Nokho, kubalulekile ukungamjahi umuntu. Futhi kufanele ugweme izeluleko ezinzima njenge: mshiye ou mshiye. Nasi isibonelo sendlela:

1. Zama ukuthola isikhathi uwedwa nomuntu omthandayo kude ne-gaslighter.
2. Khuluma naye ngemizwa yakho ngesimo sakhe.
3. Gwema ukugxeka ngokusobala umenzi wokukhanyisa igesi.
4. Kodwa, khetha indlela enengqondo ngokumqondisa ngobufakazi ukuze akwazi ukuzitholela isimo sakhe.
5. Futhi uma kwenzeka kuba nobunzima mcebise ukuthi akhulume nodokotela wezengqondo noma isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo ukuze asekelwe ekukhululweni kwakhe.

I-Gaslighting: kanjani ukuphuma kuyo?

Ukuphuma ekukhanyeni kwegesi kunzima kakhulu uma isisulu siphika. Nokho, lokhu kungenzeka ngokuqhubeka ngezigaba.

1. Akumele sizizwe sinecala ngokuzigxeka thina ngokukhohliswa yi- umdukisi phendukezela.
2. Yamukela ukuthi inqubo izothatha isikhathi eside futhi intela ngokwengqondo. Ungabona ukwelashwa kwe-gaslighting
3. Gwema ukuba wedwa. Kunalokho, zama ukuphinde uxhumane nabantu obathandayo abaye baxoshwa yi-gaslighter.
4. Ungabeki izaba ngaye. Khumbula ukuthi ama-narcissists nama-gaslighters ahamba phambili ekwenzeni uzizwe unecala.
5. Okokugcina, ungesabi ukucela usizo. Ezikhathini ezinjalo kubalulekile ukuba nomuntu ongakwazi ukulalela. Ngalokhu sincoma ukuthi uphendukele ku-psychotherapist. Uma ungakabi nesiqiniseko sokuthi unengqondo ehluzekile, phendukela kwabaseduze nawe.

Ukumelana nokukhanyiswa kwegesi